Jeffrey: Hi. How can I help you? We're having an amazing sale on batteries. (Agent J points his gun at Jeffrey's head) Okay, we got other stuff, like headphones, adapters or--
Agent J: You helped Boris the Animal time jump.
Jeffrey: Okay, I had to. That dude's a freak.
Agent J: He killed my partner. I want to know when and where you sent him.
Jeffrey: What, you think I keep, like, a logbook?
Agent J: Target vector, July 16, 1969.
Jeffrey: All right. That's a real bummer about your buddy. I'm sure he was a great guy. But in terms of the whole space-time continuum, your friend was like a little blip on the historical radar! (Agent J forces him to turn around and see the TV) Oh. That's a big blip. Okay. What's the plan?
Agent J: You're gonna send me back to July 15th, 1969.
Jeffrey: No, that's a stupid plan, because I sent Boris to July 16th.
Agent J: I'm not worried about that one. I'm gonna go back to kill the younger Boris before the older one even shows up.
Jeffrey: That way, neither of them will even exist. That's why you get to wear the black suit. No? You're gonna leave me hanging? Okay. Oh, I just thought of something, you know. Even back then, New York was like a big-ish city. So how are you gonna really find him?
Agent J: On July 15th, Boris killed an alien, Roman the Fabulist, at Coney Island.
Jeffrey: You're gonna get there first and be waiting for him? Dude, they should give you, like, two black suits.
Agent J: My man, for real?
Jeffrey: Oh, right. Sorry. This...is the real deal. Time-jump gear. Very rare, very old. But first, we gotta get high.
Agent J: Hey. No.
Jeffrey: No. No, I mean, really high. Hey, man? A little help here? Thank you. Okay. You know the rules of time jumps, right?
Agent J: Give me the short version.
Jeffrey: Okay. You wanna save your partner, word of advice: Stay away from him.
Agent J: Yeah, I got it. Stay away from K. Just kill Boris.
Jeffrey: Now, take these. 'Cause it gets pretty windy on the way down.
Agent J: The way down?
Jeffrey: With eyes tearing up, it's hard to read the dial. Plus, it helps you look like a real time traveler, which is cool.
Agent J: I am not jumping off this building!
Jeffrey: Time jump. Okay, now I gotta set this thing to the 15th. That seems right-ish. Now all you gotta do is jump.
Agent J: Hey, hey, Stop. Stop it.
Jeffrey: Now, as soon as you're moving fast enough, that circle is gonna fill up with some sort of green time-travel liquid and it's gonna glow really bright. As soon as that happens, you need to break that blue laser line with your thumb to complete the circuit. At this height, that should be... Let's see, mass of Earth and 30-something feet per minute...
Agent J: It's 32 feet per second. Per second.
Jeffrey: That sounds right-ish. So that would be, I guess, about two feet off the ground.
Agent J: I break the laser line?
Jeffrey: No, don't break it!
Agent J: What do you mean when I'm fast enough!
Jeffrey: Sounds good!
Agent J: Wait. Do I break the laser line or do I not break the laser line?
Jeffrey: Do not lose that time device, or you will be stuck in 1969! It wasn't the best time for your people. I'm just saying. It's, like, a lot cooler now.
Agent J: How will I know if it works?
Jeffrey: You'll either know...or you won't. You must really love this guy to do this.
Agent J: Oh, wait. How come I remember K, but nobody else does?
Jeffrey: That means you were there!
Agent J: I was where?
Jeffrey: If you survive, you gotta come back and tell me everything. OK?
Agent J: Where was I?
Jeffrey: You gotta go! Just go, go, go!
Agent J: Oh, no! Come on! My man, what's today?
Agent J: The date?
Man: The 15th.
Agent J: Of?
Agent J: Dog, the year.
Agent J: Thank you. Look at me like I'm crazy.