Cam: Hey, it's Cam Wexler. Remember, from the wedding? The serial killer?
Chuck: Yeah. Yeah, hi.
Cam: I'm sorry to bother you, but I have a bit of a dental emergency.
Chuck: You don't have to make up stories, Cam. If you want to see me, all you have to do is ask.
Cam: No, seriously. I chipped a tooth, and it's Saturday night, and I don't know who else to call.
Chuck: Oh, you chipped a tooth? How?
Cam: I slipped while having a fish fight, slid down an ice ramp, got tackled by a penguin, and fell face-first into a fake ice boulder.
Chuck: This is very common. Do you know where my office is?
Cam: Yeah. I got your card right here. I can be there in 20 minutes?
Chuck: 20 minutes. I'm leaving now.
Chuck: Okay, all fixed. Does that hurt? Can you describe the penguin that attacked you?
Cam: Very funny.
Chuck: You can rinse. So what really happened? Did you get caught in the middle of some North Pole- South Pole gang war?
Cam: There are no penguins in the North Pole. That's polar bears.
Chuck: You really are a penguin freak, aren't you?
Cam: Oh, you have no idea. Obsessed is putting it mildly.
Chuck: I believe you.
Cam: Oh, what's that?
Chuck: Oh, I travel to Guatemala every year to help some of the poorer villagers.
Cam: That's so sweet. Sorry! Oh! Oh, no! They went in! They're in there!
Chuck: What's in there?
Cam: The things! Oh, here. Oh, I'm sorry. This is bad. You're hurt.
Chuck: It's okay.
Cam: I'm so sorry.
Chuck: Should have worn that lead vest.
Cam: Oh, this always happens to me. Are you okay?
Chuck: Yes. Yeah, I'm fine.
Cam: You sure?
Chuck: I feel good.
Cam: Man. I hope you let me buy you a new shirt.
Chuck: No. No, really. It's, uh, it's good. But I hope you'll let me take you out to dinner...sometime. Trust me, you can do far more damage with a steak knife.
Cam: I'm sorry. L... I can't. How much do I owe you for the tooth?
Chuck: Wait a second. So you will draw first blood, but you won't make it up to me?
Cam: Please, how much?
Chuck: No. Your money's no good here.
Cam: You sure?
Chuck: I will not accept that.
Cam: Really? Thank you.
Cam: I'm sorry.
Chuck: No. See you in six months for a routine stabbing.