实用建议：内向女生该如何相亲

在相亲时为自己设定界限。

This point is important, first and foremost. Once, I went on four dates in one week. I pushed myself to accept all the offers. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. I never talked to any of those gentlemen again. Not once.

这点是重中之重。有一次我一周相了四次亲。我迫使自己接受所有相亲对象的邀请。(因为)我担心如果拒绝，我会错失(与另一半相识的)千载难逢的机遇。结果接下来的那个周末我过得浑浑噩噩、糟糕透顶——我疲惫地躺在沙发上，刷着一部烂剧。连小哥给我送外卖过来，我也懒得去门口瞧上一眼。自那以后，我便再未同那几位先生聊过。一次都没!

Don’t let the fear of missing out dictate your dating schedule.

不要因害怕错过而影响相亲安排。

If you only go on one date a month, that’s okay! If awful dates, which your friends seem to be able to turn into funny anecdotes on a dime, seem catastrophic to you, that’s okay too. It’s all okay! Go on one date every three months if you want to. Ignore your mother when she hounds you about grandchildren.

如果你每月只相亲一次，说得过去!如果你因自己几次糟糕的相亲可能会立马变成朋友间的笑料而感到挫败，那也没关系。这些都是可以的!如果你想，还能每三个月相一次亲呢!如果母亲一直唠叨着要抱孙子，就让她说去。

Call and cancel if you’ve already reached your limit.

如果你已经相亲到极限，就打电话取消相亲安排吧。

Don’t feel the need to go into some long, drawn-out explanation either. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. Is your fear of missing outnagging at you again? I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me. He said, “You can’t fuck up soul mates.” Write that down, and put it in your pocket.

也不要认为你得给出些过多的解释。只要说明你要改变原安排，然后另外提供相亲时间和地点。你是不是又因担心错过另一半而困扰?我要告诉你一位老医生曾给予我的良方——“良人你又怎会错过?”把这句话写下来，放在口袋里吧。

Be honest and direct, but remember it’s just an online dating profile.

网上的相亲个人介绍要写得诚实坦率，但记住它就是个介绍。

You can use subtle ways to tell your profile visitors you are introverted, without standing on a mountain top and screaming down a declaration for the masses. I like to drop little hints throughout my online profile about how much I value my quiet time; this roots out any suitors prowling for a party girl.

你可以委婉地向看你简介的人传达你内向的讯息，而不必站在山巅，向公众大声宣明你很内向。我喜欢在网上的介绍中稍稍提及我有多在乎个人的安静时间(这为我排除了寻求交际女郎的追求者们)。

Pay attention to what works for you, and only you.

关注对你奏效、且只对你有用的建议。

There’s a good chance that you’ll discover the subtle difference between the “just put yourself out there!” attitude and the kind of effort that aligns itself with your intuition and all of your wonderfully weird qualities. Try to narrow your focus. Tune out that well-intentioned advice, and keep what you want at the forefront of your mind. You could find someone to sit across from at the breakfast table while reading your own newspapers, Kindles, novels, or whatever. And proximity without talking is THE DREAM, you guys. Never forget.

这是个好机会让你察觉到， “只要人在那就好”的态度和你将它与直觉以及所有奇特个性联系起来而付出的努力，这两者之间细微的区别。试着缩小你的关注点。别听那条空有一番好意(实则不奏效的)建议，始终优先考虑你想要的。你兴许能找到某位坐你对面，让你能安心读自己的报纸、Kindle、小说或是其他读物的相亲者。不过我说，(相亲时两人)邻近却彼此无言是白日做梦哦。千万要记住!