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大帝亲笔 我如电影般梦幻的人生

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luyuna

2018年09月21日

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I swear to God, my life is a movie.

我对天发誓,我的人生是一场电影。

It's a movie.

绝对是。

I know corny dudes are always saying that because they bought like an SUV or whatever, but I swear I can say it for real. I'll prove it to you like this...

我明白,那些纨绔子弟买了一辆新SUV或是其他什么之后也经常这么说,但我发誓我的话句句属实,且听我道来……

This is a real story. Hand to God. When I came over from Cameroon at 16, I didn't know any English, didn't know a single person in America, didn't really understand the culture except for like basic hip-hop. And I know people sort of know my story, but I don't think they really understand how crazy it is. Because I had just started playing basketball literally — literally — three months before I got an offer to come play high school ball in Florida.

这是个真实的故事,我对天发誓。我16岁从喀麦隆来到美国,当时我对英文一窍不通,在美国也举目无亲,除了最基础的hip-hop,一点美国文化也不懂。我想人们已经知道一些我的故事了,但我觉得他们并不能真正地理解我的故事有多么不可思议,因为,在我拿到去佛罗里达的高中打球的资格之前,我实际上才···才···按部就班的学了三个月的篮球。

I could dunk, but I had no handle.

那时我可以扣篮,但我的控球能力为零。

So I went to the practice on the first day, and I was so bad that the coach kicked me out of the gym. I didn't know what I was doing. I was so skinny, so soft. But the worst part was that all my own teammates were seriously pointing and laughing at me, like the asshole kids in the movies about high school. It was crazy. I'm looking at these dudes, not really understanding what they're even saying, like, Damn guys, come on, let's just trust the process here.

所以我到学校的第一天就去参加训练了,但我当时烂的一塌糊涂,结果被教练踢出体育场。当时我很迷茫,完全不知道自己在做什么,我很瘦,也没有力量,但最最糟糕的是我所有的队友指着鼻子对我冷嘲热讽,像极了电影里那些高中混球。太荒唐了!我看着眼前这些家伙,甚至不明白他们在说什么。就像是我在说,你们这群该死的家伙,走着瞧吧!

And they're just like, "LOL NAH YOU SUCK."

而他们则是一脸不屑,哈哈哈哈哈,你真操蛋,弱爆了

Man, I went back to my dorm and cried. I was like, This is crazy. What am I even doing here? Ican't play. I'm going home.

伙计,我回宿舍就趴在床上哭了,就像是在抱怨,太荒唐了,我来这干什么?我不要打球了,我想回家

But then I was sitting in my room listening to Lil Wayne or something, in my feelings, thinking about these dudes making fun of me, and suddenly my competitive side took over. I got really, really motivated. Whenever people say I can't do something, I actually love it. It makes me want to prove them wrong so bad. So I said to myself, Alright, I'm literally just going to work and work in the gym until I'm good. KOBE.

但很快我就坐起来听着Lil Wayne,或是其他。想想那些家伙取笑我,突然我的好胜心又回来了,这一切,真的让我动力十足,每当有人对我说不行的时候,我真的爱死了这个感觉,它让我想去证明这些人错的如此离谱,所以,我对自己说,我会在体育场一块一块的打磨自己,直到我变得所向披靡,科比。

I got better and better, especially around the rim, but I still couldn't shoot. So I started working out with one of my teammates, Michael Frazier II. Remember him? This dude was a shooter. Like, killing it. He hit 11 threes in a game once for Florida. So after practice, I'd do these three-point drills with him, and of course, he's smashing me. I have no form, no fundamentals. I'm jacking shit up. But I just can't take losing to this dude every day. I'm so competitive that I'm like, I gotta beat this guy. I gotta find a way.

我变得越来越好,尤其是在篮下,但是我还是不会投篮。所以我开始和我的队友迈克尔-弗雷泽二世一起训练。还记得他吗?这家伙是个射手,杀手级的射手。曾经在佛罗里达,他单场狂进11记三分。所以训练结束后,我会和他一起比三分,当然,我被他虐惨了。我不会标准手型,也没有基础。我简直烂到家了。但是我不能天天都输给这个家伙。我的好胜心太强了,所以我一直想着:我要打败这家伙,得想个办法才行。

So I'm chilling one night, and I go on YouTube, and I'm thinking I'm about to figure thisshooting thing out.

所以,就在某个无聊的夜晚,我碰巧打开了YouTube,我想着把投篮的事情弄明白。

I go to the search box like...

我在搜索栏里输入……

HOW TO SHOOT 3 POINTERS.

如何投三分。

Nah

不对

HOW TO SHOOT GOOD FORM

如何用好的姿势投篮

Nah.

也不对

Then the light bulb went off, man. I typed in the magic words.

然后我灵光一闪,我打了一串有魔力的词语。

WHITE PEOPLE SHOOTING 3 POINTERS.

白人投三分

Listen, I know it's a stereotype, but have you ever seen a normal, 30-year-old white guy shoot a three-pointer? That elbow is tucked, man. The knees are bent. The follow-through is perfect. Always. You know how in America, there's always an older guy wearing like EVERLAST sweat-shorts at the court? That guy is always a problem. His J is always wet.

我知道这有点刻板印象,但是你们没看过那些30多岁的白人在场上投三分的样子么?手肘翻折,膝盖微曲,随后的整个动作连贯完美,而且总是如此。你一定在美国街头的球场上见过这种总是穿着运动装的大哥,那些人往往就是最难对付的。

Those are the guys I learned from on YouTube. Just random people shooting threes with perfect form. Me and Michael would play after practice for hours, and I'd just try to imitate how they shot the ball, and I started being able to compete. It was crazy, because getting some range changed my whole game. Teams couldn't play off me anymore, and I started doing a lot better.

我的投篮就是在YouTube上跟这些人学的,就是随意搜了些“三分完美手型”之类的内容。我跟弗雷泽会在常规训练之后再加练几个小时,我就会去模仿他们如何投篮,然后开始掌握(这种投篮方式)。那感觉真的棒极了,因为射程的变远改变了我的比赛。队里再也没有人敢嘲笑我了,我真正开始变强了。

I know people are going to think I'm exaggerating, but that's a real story. I didn't even really know who J.J. Redick was at that point. I barely knew anything about the NBA because I could never watch it in Cameroon. And no, I don't mean that like we were too poor and we didn't have a TV. We had a TV. We had a pretty normal life. Americans have crazy ideas about Africa, like its all one big country.

我知道很多人都会想我说的太夸张了,但是这是一个真实的故事,我当时甚至都不知道JJ.雷迪克是谁,我不知道关于NBA的一切,在喀麦隆没法看NBA。但我们并没有穷到连台电视机也没有,相反,我们拥有一台电视,我们过着正常人的生活。美国人对我们非洲有着一些奇怪的观点,好像我们非洲总得来说就是一个大国家而已。

No, the reason I couldn't watch the NBA is because my mom was super, super strict about school. She didn't play around. I could never stay up to watch the games. Every single day it was: Wake up, eat, go to school from seven to five, run home and take a nap, wake up and eat dinner, then study until like midnight. I'm telling you — school is too easy in America, man. In Cameroon, it's crazy. Elementary school is like college. I didn't even have any friends because all I ever did was sleep and do homework.

是的,我不能在电视上了解到NBA的原因是我的母亲在我的学业教育上非常的严格,她一直呆在家中,所以我不能熬夜去看比赛,每一天的日子都是起床,吃饭,早上从7点到下午5点在学校度过,放学后跑回家,小睡一下,然后醒来吃晚饭,吃完后就一直学习到半夜。我想说的是,在美国,上学太容易了,但是在喀麦隆,这太难了,小学就像个大学,我甚至都没有几个朋友,因为我每天能做的就是睡觉和学习。

I remember when Cameroon had the Golden Generation at the 2002 World Cup, I was eight years old, so I was begging my mom and dad to let me play soccer. But they weren't having it. So when I got to be older, I got a little more rebellious, and I'd sneak out of the house to play.

我记得当喀麦隆黄金一代在2002年世界杯出现的时候,我才8岁,我请求父母能让我去踢足球,但他们都不同意,所以当我越来越大时,我也变得越来越叛逆,经常偷偷跑出去踢球。

There was like an hour window after school when my mom wasn't home yet, and the soccer field was right next to our house, so I had this whole scheme. I'd run home after school and put my bookbag by the kitchen table and then I'd open up a science book or whatever. And I'd have that thing all highlighted and everything, like I was really grinding.

放学后我妈妈还没有回家,我有一个小时的机会,而且正好足球场就在我家旁边,所以我有了一个完整的计划,我放学后快速跑回家,然后将我的书包放在厨房桌子的一旁,打开一本科学书籍之类的,我把所有关于学习的物件都放在明显的地方,就像我真的是在认真学习一样。

Papers and pens everywhere. Then once that was all set up, I'd run back out to the field. I literally got so good that I could hear the specific sound of my mom's car coming down the street. If I was at the other end of the field and I was too far away, whoever was playing keeper would see her car coming and be yelling like, "Joel! Joellllllllllll! Your mom's coming, bro! Run!

纸和笔扔的到处都是。一旦这一切都准备好了,我就会立刻跑向球场,差不多每次我都能做的有这么棒,以至于我每次都能我妈的汽车开回来的独特声音,如果我在球场的另一边,距离的太远的时候,不管是哪个当守门员看到她的车开来时都会大叫;乔尔,乔尔,你妈要回来了,赶紧跑啊,哥们。

And I'd sprint into the back of our house, hide my shoes and sit down at the table, like sweating. Like I was thinking so hard about science that I was about to pass out. I had like 25 seconds before my mom parked her car, took off her shoes and got inside to make sure I was studying.

然后我就飞速的跑到房子的后面,藏起我的球鞋端端正正的坐在桌上,我当时正出着大汗,假装我一直在思考着科学以至于差点用脑过度晕过去,从我妈将车停好,脱下鞋子进来,我只有差不多25秒的时间来确保我正在学习。

I'd be sitting there with a glass of juice or whatever, like, "Hello, Mom. It's me, Your Good Son."

我会坐在那里,桌上放着一瓶果汁之类的,笑着说,“你好,妈妈。是我,你的好儿子。”

The first time I ever watched an NBA game was the 2009 Finals.

我第一次看的NBA比赛是2009年的总决赛

Lakers vs. Magic.

湖人VS魔术

Dwight. Pau. Odom. KOBE.

霍华德、加索尔、奥多姆、科比

I had never seen anything like that. I was watching those dudes shoot like 100% from the floor. Everything was going in. The way they moved, and the athleticism, I thought it was the coolest thing in the world.

我之前从来没有见过这样的比赛。我感觉那些家伙几乎有100%的命中率。每个球都命中了。他们移动的脚步,还有展现出的运动能力,我觉得那是世界上最酷的事情了。

I had that moment like, I just wanna do that.

那一刻我就在想,我要打篮球。

I begged my mom and dad. I begged for a year.

我整整向我爸妈恳求了一年。

My dad was like, "Nobody in Cameroon plays basketball. You can play volleyball."

但我爸只是说:“在喀麦隆没人打篮球。你可以打排球。”

I'm like, "Yo, volleyball?"

我懵了:“啥,排球?”

NBA

By that time, I had started hearing some American hip-hop on the internet, and I'd be trying to sing the words to look cool, even though I didn't know any English. I'd be walking around school singing that Lil' Bow Wow and Ciara song. Remember that? All I could say in English was like "Hello, good morning," and then "I AIN'T NEVER HAD NOBODY DO ME LIKE YOU."

在那个时候,我开始在网络上听一些美国的嘻哈歌曲,而我也在尽量尝试能唱出那些歌词以使我看上去更酷一点,即使我根本不懂英语。我会在学校周边一边走一边哼着宝娃和席亚拉的歌。还记得他们吗?而在当时我会说的英语就只有“你好,早上好,”和“从未有人像你那样对我”这句歌词了。

That was my exposure to American culture — Bow Wow, Kanye and Kobe. Sometimes I'd go to this court by my house where guys would play pickup, and every time I'd shoot the ball, I'd literally yell out, "KOBE!"

那就是我一开始接触到的美国文化-宝娃、侃爷和科比。有时我会去我家旁边的球场打野球,每次我都会在投篮的时候喊一句:“科比!”

Imagine it. I'm out there shooting bricks, yelling out Kobe, on a busted hoop in Cameroon.

想象一下。我在一个破烂的喀麦隆野球场上疯狂打铁,嘴里还喊着科比

Seven years later, I was playing Kobe.

然而七年之后,我跟科比在同场竞技。

It's a movie. It's really a movie.

这是一场电影。这真的是一场电影。

Even when people hear the story, they think like, "Oh, they discovered this crazy talent in Africa, and this guy came over and started killing it. Kansas. NBA. Boom."

即使当人们听到这个故事之后,他们只是会想,:“噢,他们在非洲发现了这个天赋异禀的怪物,然后他去了美国的堪萨斯大学大发神威,然后进入NBA,Boom,一飞冲天。”

Nah. You don't even understand.

不,你们根本不了解我。

When I was 16, Luc Mbah a Moute invited me to come to the basketball camp that he puts on every summer in Cameroon, and the only reason was because I was like 6 foot 10. I was so nervous that I didn't even show up the first day. The second day, I showed up, they put me in the game and I dunked on somebody.

在我16岁的时候,卢克·巴莫特邀请我参加了他的篮球训练营,他每个夏天都会在喀麦隆举办他的训练营,而我猜我被邀请的唯一原因就是我有6尺10寸的身高。我在第一天非常紧张以至于我都没有出现在训练营上。第二天,我出现了,他们让我上场比赛,然后我隔扣了某些人。

I think I was so scared that my adrenaline took over or something.

我感觉我当时是如此的紧张以致肾上腺素或是其他什么接管了我的身体。

Straight away, first game. And I mean — not just dunked. Dunked on somebody.

总之,第一场比赛。我的意思是-不只是扣篮而已,是隔扣了某些人。

I was like, OH SHIT.

我想,哦,简直太糟了!

I mean, I was still terrible, but it was enough. They could see something in me. I got a spot at the Basketball Without Borders camp in South Africa. Two months later, I was on a plane to Florida to go to high school in America.

我的意思是,虽然我还是有些焦虑,但已经好很多了,因为至少他们能够看到我的潜力。在南非的无国界篮球训练营,我找到了一席之地。两个月后,我乘飞机前往美国的佛罗里达州,就读于那里的高中。

A year later, I committed to Kansas.

一年后,我选择进入了堪萨斯大学。

I didn't even know what March Madness was. I didn't know who the good teams were. The only reason I chose Kansas was because Luc told me, "Kansas is the best. You should go to Kansas."

我甚至不知道“疯狂三月”(NCAA男篮锦标赛)是指什么,我也不知道战绩卓越的球队是哪支。我选择堪萨斯大学的唯一原因仅仅是因为卢克告诉我:“堪萨斯州是最好的,你应该去堪萨斯大学打球。”

So I went to Kansas.

所以我就来了。

And this is another true story ... hand to God.

我发誓,这是另一个真实的故事。

My very first scrimmage at Kansas, I got dunked on so hard by Tarik Black that I almost quit. Tarik dunked on me so hard that I was looking at plane tickets home. This guy was a senior. He was a grown man. I didn't know what was going on. He got his own rebound and dunked over me so hard that everything went in slow motion.

在堪萨斯大学的第一场比赛中,我就遭到了塔里克·布莱克(司职中锋,效力于休斯顿火箭)狠狠地暴扣,我差点因此而放弃篮球了。 塔里克恶狠狠地隔扣了我,以至于赛后,我就在看回家的机票了。这家伙是大四学生,是个身强体壮的成年人。我不知道接下来会发生什么事。他一次又一次地抢到进攻篮板,并且在我头顶上将球重重地扣进篮框,当时的我觉得一切都像电影里的慢镜头一样真真切切。

He dunked the ball off my head, for real. But I didn't even tell you the worst part. The worstpart was that the entire Kansas women's hoops team was sitting in the bleachers watching the scrimmage. The whole gym was laughing at me. It was crazy. Seriously, it was like a WORLDSTAR situation.

他在我头顶上完成一记又一记的暴扣,这真的发生了。但是,我还没有告诉你最糟糕的部分,最糟糕的是整个堪萨斯女子篮球队都坐在看台上观看这场比赛,整个体育馆都在嘲笑我。真是太疯狂了,说真的,那就像一个世界级的“盛况”。

So I went straight to Bill Self's office afterward and I said, "I can't do this. You have to redshirtme. I can't play with these guys."

后来,我直接去了比尔·赛尔夫(堪萨斯男篮主教练)的办公室,我说:“教练,我做不到,你还是别让我上场了,我没有办法跟这群‘怪兽'打球。”

And Bill was like, "What? Are you serious? In two years, you're going to be the No. 1 pick in theNBA draft."

比尔答复到:“你说什么?你是认真的吗?两年之内,你将成为NBA选秀大会的状元。”

The thing was, I had been told that all these college coaches lie. So I really thought he was trying to be slick with me. In my head, I was like, Alright, I'm just going to keep showing up and at least I'll get a degree out of this. That will make my mom happy.

可事实是,我被告知所有的大学教练都是这样说谎的。我之前还真的以为他器重我。我脑海里就在想:好吧,我只需继续出场,至少我可以获得大学学位,那会让我妈妈开心。

The only thing that kept me going was the way that I was raised by my parents. They always told us to keep working, no matter what. I had this DVD that my coach in Cameroon had mailed to me when I first came to America. It was an hour-long tape of Hakeem Olajuwon and some other legendary big men. I probably watched that DVD every single day for three years. I would study the way Hakeem moved, and I would go out and try to imitate him.

让我不断前行的唯一动力源自我父母对我的教育方式,他们总是告诉我无论如何都要不懈努力。我有一张DVD,是我到美国的时候,喀麦隆的教练寄过来的。DVD里面是哈基姆·奥拉朱旺和其他一些传奇大个子的长达一小时的录像。在那三年间,我基本上每天都会看那张DVD,我会研究奥拉朱旺的梦幻脚步,然后去球场努力模仿他的动作。

I did it in high school, and I did it at Kansas.

我在高中的时候做过,也在堪萨斯州做过。

I was basically just imagining that I was a good basketball player. The power of the mind is kind of amazing. I mean, I sucked. But somehow, I convinced myself that I was Hakeem. AndI started getting better and better. And then I sort of started killing it.

我只是想象自己是一个优秀的篮球运动员。心灵的力量是惊人的。我是说,我糟透了。但不知怎么的,我说服我自己我是哈基姆。我开始变得越来越好。然后我开始见神杀神,遇佛杀佛。

I pretended my way to the NBA. I seriously got to the league by watching YouTube and living in the gym. There's no other way to explain it. Remember when KG won the title with the Celtics, and he was acting all crazy, screaming out, "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

我假装进入NBA。我看着YouTube和住在健身房让自己以为真的进入联盟。没有别的方式来解释它。记得当KG和凯尔特人一起赢得冠军的时候,他表现的很疯狂,尖叫着“一切皆有可能”

That speaks to me. That's my life. It happened so fast that it doesn't even make sense.

那句话说到了我的心坎。那是我的生活。它发生的如此之快甚至都感觉不真实。

The most surreal moment was when Kobe was retiring, and he played his last game in Philly. After the game, they set up a little room for us to talk for a minute. He walked in, and I shook his hand and I told him, "Man, I know you probably hear this a lot, but I literally started playing basketball because of you seven years ago. Whenever I'd be shooting the ball at the park, I'd be yelling out, ‘KOBEEEEEE!' "

最离奇的时刻就是科比即将退役,他在费城打了最后一场比赛。比赛结束后,他们为我们安排了一个小房间,让我们聊了一会。他走进来,我和他握了手然后我告诉他“兄弟,我知道你可能经常听到这个,但我是七年前因为你才真正开始打篮球。每当我在公园投球的时候,我都会大叫“科比”

He laughed and we talked for a minute, and then before he left he said the most Kobe thing. To most people, it wouldn't mean anything. But to me, it was surreal. It was like I was in a video game or something.

他笑了然后我们谈了一会,之后在他离开前他说了最科比式的话。对于大多数人而言,这并不意味着什么。但对于我来说,它是超现实的。就像我在玩电子游戏之类的。

He said, in the most Kobe way, "O.K., young fella. Keep working. Keep working."

他说,用最科比的方式,“好,年轻人,继续努力,继续努力吧”

Thank you, Kobe. Thank you, Hakeem. Thank you, Mom and Dad. Thank you, Kansas. Thank you, Philly. Thank you, Lil' Bow Wow. Thank you, Random White People.

谢谢你,科比。谢谢你,哈基姆。谢谢你,爸爸妈妈。谢谢你,堪萨斯州。谢谢你,费城。谢谢你,Lil'BowWow。谢谢你,不知名的白人。

It's a movie, I swear.

我的人生就像是一部电影,我发誓(真的就像是一部电影)。
 


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