TED演讲：你确定自己是“人”吗？

　　0:11 (Music) This is the human test, a test to see if you are a human. Please raise your hand if something applies to you. Are we agreed? Yes? Then let's begin.

　　0:11 (音乐)这是个人类测试， 测试你是否为人。 如果这些事曾发生在你身上请举手。 同意吗?好。 我们开始吧。

　　0:28 Have you ever eaten a booger long past your childhood? (Laughter) It's okay, it's safe here.

　　0:28 你是否曾吃过鼻屎， 而且是在长大之后? (笑声) 没关系，我们不会说出去.

　　0:39 Have you ever made a small, weird sound when you remembered something embarrassing?

　　0:39 你是否曾经在想起尴尬时刻时 发出微小的怪声?

　　0:48 Have you ever purposely lowercased the first letter of a text in order to come across as sad or disappointed? (Laughter) Okay.

　　0:48 你是否曾经故意 将英文首字小写 以表示伤心或失望? (笑声) 好的。

　　1:01 Have you ever ended a text with a period as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

　　1:01 你是否曾在句末加上句点， 以表示不爽?好。句点。

　　1:10 Have you ever laughed or smiled when someone said something shitty to you and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you reacted that way? Yes.

　　1:10 你是否曾大笑或微笑 应对别人对你说的垃圾话 然后花一整天的时间 都在想你为什么会做出那种反应。 有。

　　1:23 Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket a thousand times as you walked from the check-in to the gate? Yes.

　　1:23 你是否曾把飞机票弄丢 好几百遍， 就在你从柜台走到机门这段路上。 有的。

　　1:33 Have you ever put on a pair of pants and then much later realized that there was a loose sock smushed up against your thigh? (Laughter) Good.

　　1:33 你是否曾穿上长裤 许久后才发现 大腿处卡了只袜子? (笑声) 很好。

　　1:44 Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password so many times that it locked their account? Mmm.

　　1:44 你是否试图猜测某人的密码 却多次猜错导致那账号被锁? 嗯。

　　1:53 Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day you will be discovered as a fraud? Yes, it's safe here.

　　1:53 你是否有种不安感 怕有天会被发现自己很虚假? 没关系，这里很安全。

　　2:04 Have you ever hoped that there was some ability you hadn't discovered yet that you were just naturally great at? Mmm.

　　2:04 你是否曾希望自己有某些能力， 虽然未被发掘， 但你在那方面就是天赋异禀? 嗯。

　　2:14 Have you ever broken something in real life, and then found yourself looking for an "undo" button in real life?

　　2:14 你是否曾在现实生活中搞坏某样东西 然后发现自己 在现实生活中找寻复原键?

　　2:24 Have you ever misplaced your TED badge and then immediately started imagining what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

　　2:24 你是否曾把 TED 名牌搞丢 然后开始想象 这三天可以到会场外的温哥华市区逛逛?

　　2:34 Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was so ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?

　　2:34 你是否曾感到惊艳， 怎么你一直认为很平凡的人 突然间变得这么美丽?

　　2:43 Have you ever stared at your phone smiling like an idiot while texting with someone? Have you ever subsequently texted that person the phrase "I'm staring at the phone smiling like an idiot"?

　　2:43 你是否曾盯着手机 边传简讯边笑得跟傻子一样? 你是否曾接着传简讯给那人， 告诉他：「我正盯着手机， 笑得跟傻子一样?」

　　3:00 Have you ever been tempted to, and then gave in to the temptation, of looking through someone else's phone?

　　3:00 你是否曾经非常非常想， 想到实在忍不住， 就偷看了别人的手机?

　　3:08 Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and then suddenly realized you're a real asshole to yourself?

　　3:08 你是否曾跟自己对话， 讲到后来突然觉得 你干嘛对自己那么凶?

　　3:15 (Laughter)

　　3:17 Has your phone ever run out of battery in the middle of an argument, and it sort of felt like the phone was breaking up with both of you?

　　3:17 你是否曾经在吵架时 突然手机没电， 感觉好像电话 在跟你们两人分手?

　　3:28 Have you ever thought that working on an issue between you was futile because it should just be easier than this, or this is supposed to happen just naturally? Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run, just happens naturally?

　　3:28 你是否想过 解决你们之间的问题毫无意义， 因为照理说不应该这么难， 或是这种问题理应自然解决? 但回过头来，你是否发现 只有极少数问题自然解决?

　　3:46 Have you ever woken up blissfully and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance that someone had left you?

　　3:46 你是否曾开心的醒来， 却突然涌入难受的回忆， 想起某人已经离开你了?

　　3:56 Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future without a person that no longer was in your life? Have you ever looked back on that event with the sad smile of autumn and the realization that futures will happen regardless?

　　3:56 你是否曾无法想象 你的生命中少了某个人 未来会是如何? 你是否曾在回顾过去时 浮现伤心的一抹微笑， 发现未来仍有很长的路 在等着你?

　　4:15 Congratulations. You have now completed the test. You are all human.

　　4:15 恭喜各位。 你们都完成测试。 大家都是人。

　　4:23 (Applause)