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TED演讲:从我们孩子的疾病中学到生命的领悟

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shangzening

2016年05月09日

随身学
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  Francesca Fedeli: Ciao.

  弗朗西斯卡 费德利:大家好!

  So he's Mario. He's our son. He was born two and a half years ago, and I had a pretty tough pregnancy because I had to stay still in a bed for, like, eight months. But in the end everything seemed to be under control. So he got the right weight at birth. He got the right Apgar index. So we were pretty reassured by this. But at the end, 10 days later after he was born, we discovered that he had a stroke.

  他是马里奥,我们的儿子,他出生两年半了,我怀孕期间很艰难,因为我必须在呆在床上,有八个月的样子,但最后一切看起来都还好,他出生时体重达标 阿普达评分也正常 所以当时我们很放心 但后来,他出生后的第十天 我们发现他中风了。

  As you might know, a stroke is a brain injury. A perinatal stroke could be something that can happen during the nine months of pregnancy or just suddenly after the birth, and in his case, as you can see, the right part of his brain has gone.

  你也许知道 中风是一种大脑损伤,围产期中风,可能在怀孕的九个月期间发生,或者是在生产之后突然发生,你可以看到,马里奥的情况是:他右边的大脑没了。

  So the effect that this stroke could have on Mario's body could be the fact that he couldn't be able to control the left side of his body. Just imagine, if you have a computer and a printer and you want to transmit, to input to print out a document, but the printer doesn't have the right drives, so the same is for Mario. It's just like, he would like to move his left side of his body, but he's not able to transmit the right input to move his left arm and left leg.

  所以这次中风对马里奥的身体可能产生的影响是:他或许不能够控制,他左侧的身体,想象一下,假如你有一台电脑和一台打印机,你要传送资料,要输入并打印一份文件,但是打印机没有合适的驱动。马里奥德情况正是如此,就像是,他想运动他的左侧身体,但他没法传送正确的输入信号,来运动他的左胳膊和左腿。

  So life had to change. We needed to change our schedule. We needed to change the impact that this birth had on our life.

  因此,生活必须改变,我们需要改变我们的日程表,我们需要改变,这次生育对我们生活的影响。

  Roberto D'Angelo: As you may imagine, unfortunately, we were not ready. Nobody taught us how to deal with such kinds of disabilities, and as many questions as possible started to come to our minds. And that has been really a tough time. Questions, some basics, like, you know, why did this happen to us? And what went wrong? Some more tough, like, really, what will be the impact on Mario's life? I mean, at the end, will he be able to work? Will he be able to be normal? And, you know, as a parent, especially for the first time, why is he not going to be better than us? And this, indeed, really is tough to say, but a few months later, we realized that we were really feeling like a failure. I mean, the only real product of our life, at the end, was a failure. And you know, it was not a failure for ourselves in itself, but it was a failure that will impact his full life.

  罗伯特 D安吉洛:也许你们能想象得到,不幸的是,我们还没有做好准备,没人教我们怎样处理这样的残疾。接着很多的问题开始出现,涌向心头,那段时期真的很难熬。一些基本的问题: 比如说,为什么这要发生在我们头上,还有哪里出了问题? 还有一些更艰难的问题,真的,像这会对马里奥的生活产生什么影响?我意思是说:他最终能否参加工作?他能正常地生活吗?还有,作为一名家长,尤其是第一次当家长,为什么事情不能变得好起来? 还有一个真的很难说出口的,但数月之后,我们意识到 我们真的感觉像是一个失败者,就是说我们生活唯一真实的结晶,竟然最终是个失败品 尽管对我们而言,他本身不是一个失败品,但他的全部生活都要受此影响。

  Honestly, we went down. I mean we went really down, but at the end, we started to look at him, and we said, we have to react.

  坦诚而言,我们感觉很失落,是非常失落,但最终,我们开始注视马里奥。我们说着:我们必须行动起来。

  So immediately, as Francesca said, we changed our life. We started physiotherapy, we started the rehabilitation, and one of the paths that we were following in terms of rehabilitation is the mirror neurons pilot. Basically, we spent months doing this with Mario. You have an object, and we showed him how to grab the object. Now, the theory of mirror neurons simply says that in your brains, exactly now, as you watch me doing this, you are activating exactly the same neurons as if you do the actions. It looks like this is the leading edge in terms of rehabilitation.

  所以,就像弗朗西斯卡说的,我们改变了我们的生活。我们开始进行物理疗法,我们开始康复治疗。其中我们遵循的一种方法。就康复治疗而言,是镜像神经元引导。我们基本上花了数月时间对马里奥做这个。 你拿着一个物体,然后我们给他展示,如何抓取这个物体。今天,镜像神经元理论只是说,就是现在,当你看我做这个的时候,你的大脑,也会激活相同的神经元,就像是你在做这样的动作。 这看起来似乎是康复治疗的最前沿了

  But one day we found that Mario was not looking at our hand. He was looking at us. We were his mirror. And the problem, as you might feel, is that we were down, we were depressed, we were looking at him as a problem, not as a son, not from a positive perspective. And that day really changed our perspective. We realized that we had to become a better mirror for Mario.

  但是有一天我们发现,马里奥没有在看我们的手,他在看着我们,我们是他的镜像。 问题是,或许你能感觉到,我们很低迷,很沮丧,我们把他当作一个问题来对待,而不是一个儿子,不是从一个积极的方面。那一天真的改变了我们的观念,我们意识到必须成为,马里奥更好的镜像。

  We restarted from our strengths, and at the same time we restarted from his strengths. We stopped looking at him as a problem, and we started to look at him as an opportunity to improve. And really, this was the change, and from our side, we said, "What are our strengths that we really can bring to Mario?" And we started from our passions. I mean, at the end, my wife and myself are quite different, but we have many things in common. We love to travel, we love music, we love to be in places like this, and we started to bring Mario with us just to show to him the best things that we can show to him.

  我们恢复了自己的力量,同时我们也恢复了马里奥的力量,我们不再把他当作一个问题来看待,我们开始把他看作一个进步的机遇。真的,这就是我们说的改变,在我们这边,我们问道, “我们究竟可以为马里奥带来什么力量?” 然后我们从我们热情开始,我的意思是,最后,妻子和我有很大的不同,但我们也有很多相同之处,我们喜爱旅游,我们热爱音乐,我们喜欢来到像这样的地方, 然后我们开始带上马里奥,在我们力所能及的情况下,给他看最好的东西。

  This short video is from last week.

  这是上周的一个短视频。

  I am not saying --

  我没说....

  (Applause) —

  掌声 ---

  I am not saying it's a miracle. That's not the message, because we are just at the beginning of the path. But we want to share what was the key learning, the key learning that Mario drove to us, and it is to consider what you have as a gift and not only what you miss, and to consider what you miss just as an opportunity. And this is the message that we want to share with you. This is why we are here.

  我没说这是一个奇迹。那不是我们要表达的,因为我们只是刚刚开始,但是我们想跟大家分享重要的领悟,马里奥带给我们的领悟。那就是把你所拥有的当作礼物来看待,而不只是你所失去的,把你所失去的当作一次机遇 ,这就是我们想要跟大家分享的东西,这就是我们来到这里的原因。

  Mario!

  马里奥!

  And this is why --

  这就是为什么 ...

  (Applause) —

  掌声 ---

  And this is why we decided to share the best mirror in the world with him. And we thank you so much, all of you.

  这就是为什么,我们决定把世界上最好的镜像与他分享,我们非常感谢大家,所有人。

  FF: Thank you.

  谢谢!

  RD: Thank you. Bye.

  谢谢!拜!

  (Applause)

  掌声

  FF: Thank you. (Applause)

  谢谢大家!


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