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[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:35:19

[00:02.00]听美剧学英语(MP3+LRC)

[00:09.28]欲望城市

[00:35.64](性爱专家凯莉布雷萧 并且勇于发问)

[00:42.00]“男男女女”

[00:46.44]lt's been said that New YOrKers 据说纽约人是以冷漠出名的

[00:49.24]are the mOst jaded peOple in the wOrld.

[00:55.92]The faCt is we've dOne and seen it all. 事实上是因为我们见怪不怪了

[00:60.56]lt taKes quite a bit tO shOCK us. 没有多少事情能使我们震惊

[01:02.08]SO when CharlOtte said that her new shOw 当夏绿蒂说她办的新展览 会吓我们一跳

[01:04.92]at the gallery wOuld blOw us away,

[01:07.44]we tOOK it with the prOverbial grain Of salt. 我们其实不以为然

[01:09.80]SeriOusly, that's a wOman? 说真的,那是个女人?

[01:12.12]lt was the latest installatiOn frOm phOtOgrapher Baird JOhnsOn, 这是摄影家巴尔强森 最新的展览

[01:16.48]entitled ''Drag Kings - 取名“变装国王: 当假象遇上真实”

[01:17.28]''The COllisiOn Of illusiOn and reality''.

[01:22.48]Yep, that's a wOman. 没错,那是个女人

[01:23.96]LOOK at that bulge, it's shOCKing. 看看那肿胀的胯下 真是令人震惊

[01:27.72]Hurry up and lOOK befOre Giuliani shuts it dOwn. 在朱立安尼勒令关闭前 赶快欣赏

[01:31.80]- What dO yOu thinK? - lt's amazing. -你觉得怎么样? -太棒了,恭喜你

[01:33.48]COngratulatiOns.

[01:33.76]WOmen dressed as men are pOpular. 女扮男装现在很流行

[01:38.76]l thOught it was ''POKémOn''. 我以为过气了

[01:41.44]All it taKes is stiCK-On sideburns and a sOCK in yOur pants. 很简单,只要粘上鬓角 裤裆里塞袜子就成

[01:45.00]That's sOme sOCK. 这袜子还真有看头

[01:47.28]l've always had a thing fOr COwbOys. 我一向对牛仔很有“性”趣

[01:50.20]Reminder, JOhn Wayne is a Jane. 不要忘了,这是女人

[01:53.76]l'm attraCted tO her. Maybe l'm a lesbian. 我被她吸引了 或许我是“蕾丝边”

[01:57.24]l dated a guy whO liKed tO wear my underwear. 我曾经跟一个喜欢 穿我内裤的男人约会

[01:60.64]But l've never gOne the Other way. 不过我仍没改变性向

[02:02.92]lf yOu're gay yOu Can wear everyOne's underwear. 你要是同性恋 大家都可以交换内裤穿了

[02:03.08]That's hygieniC? 卫生一点

[02:05.40]Being a drag King wOuld be fun. 女扮男装应该挺有趣的

[02:08.48]l have enOugh trOuble trying tO be a wOman in a man's wOrld, 我在男人世界 努力当女人已经够难了

[02:13.72]withOut being a wOman pretending tO be a man. 更别提假装当个男人

[02:15.60]YOu wOuldn't have tO wax. 这样你就不用蜜蜡除毛了

[02:19.04]lf yOu Change yOur mind, 要是你改变心意 就忙着躲警察吧

[02:21.08]yOu've gOt COp written all Over yOu.

[02:24.76]- Am l riCh yet? - Getting there. -我富有了吗? -快要了

[02:25.36]EveryOne. This is Baird, the artist. 各位,这是摄影师巴尔

[02:28.12]These are my friends. 她们是我的朋友

[02:31.76]What inspired yOu tO dO this? 你从哪里得到灵感的?

[02:31.32]l feel we have dual pOwers within eaCh Of us. 我认为每个人内心 都有两种力量

[02:36.48]Men Can be very female, and wOmen Can be very male. 男人可以非常女性化 女人也可以非常男性化

[02:39.20]Gender's an illusiOn. SOmetimes a very beautiful illusiOn. 性别是一种假象 一种很美丽的假象

[02:45.52]YOu KnOw, l'm gOnna gO and get a Canapé. 我要去拿一点开胃菜

[02:50.12]BeCause, l'm starved, sO... 因为我饿了…

[02:53.28]NOt that a Canapé is a meal. But, yOu KnOw...in a pinCh. 虽然不是一餐 也可以垫个肚子

[02:56.76]ExCuse us. 失陪

[03:05.64]What was that abOut? NObOdy lOves Canapés that muCh. 这是怎么一回事? 没有人喜欢开胃菜

[03:08.20]He maKes me nervOus. l thinK he is... 他让我很紧张,我觉得他很…

[03:11.40]- AsK him Out. - l Can never maKe the first mOve. -约他出去 -我不采取主动

[03:16.84]SOunds liKe sOmeOne needs a sOCK in the pants. 看来有人需要在裤裆里塞袜子

[03:20.36]l'll drag myself hOme. YOu wanna share a Cab? 我要回家了 要一起搭计程车吗?

[03:24.20]NO, l'm meeting Sean. 不了,我跟西恩有约

[03:26.20]- The yOung guy? - He's nOt that yOung. -那个幼齿的家伙? -没有那么幼齿

[03:28.52]He's 26. His generatiOn has a different letter than Ours. 他二十六岁,跟我们不同世代

[03:32.16]WhO Cares? Age is an illusiOn. 谁在乎?年龄只是假象

[03:34.36]- GOOd night. - GOOd night. -晚安 -晚安

[03:38.96]Later, Miranda fOund her apartment 米兰达的公寓最近也在变性

[03:39.20]had undergOne its Own gender transfOrmatiOn.

[03:42.88]What are yOu dOing here? 你在这里做什么?

[03:47.00]l gOt a Key frOm when l fed yOur Cat. l Ordered us Chinese. 我还留着你的钥匙 我叫了中国菜外送

[03:50.24]l didn't thinK we were seeing eaCh Other tOnight. 我们今晚没有约会吧

[03:52.16]- Planning On seeing the Other bOy? - NOw yOu've ruined that... -跟另一个男朋友有约? -你毁了我的…

[03:57.32]This is what we're watChing? 我们要看这个?

[03:60.12]Give me that. 给我

[04:05.36]Easy, yOu're maKing my brain hurt. 放轻松,你让我头痛

[04:09.04]DOn't yOu have tO wOrK tOnight? 你今晚不必工作吗?

[04:11.84]NOt until 10:00. l've gOt stuff here l Can Change intO. 十点,我有带换洗衣物

[04:13.84]Right. 好

[04:19.36]But l gOt till 10:00. 十点才上班

[04:26.32]Miranda lOved the man inside Of her. 米兰达爱这个 在她身体里面的男人

[04:31.84]She just didn't lOve him inside her apartment all the time. 不过她不喜欢他总是 在她的公寓里面

[04:57.96]COme On, the iCe waits fOr nO wOman. 来吧,冰是不等人的

[04:58.44]l'm praCtiCing my triple salChOw in my head. 我正在脑中练习三圈跳跃

[05:01.40]l was dragged arOund by Sean, my ''generatiOn-sOmething-else'' date. 我被西恩拖着走 一个跟我分属不同世代的对象

[05:08.28]We met at a party, Celebrating a new lnternet magazine Sean was running 我们是在西恩创办的网上杂志 庆祝派对上遇见的

[05:13.36]that l still COuldn't find On my COmputer. 我还是找不到那个网站

[05:16.76]SeriOusly, stOp! 我说真的,不要抽了

[05:17.64]lt's easier tO balanCe when yOu're nOt smOKing. 抽烟有碍平衡

[05:20.52]SmOKing is the Only thing that Keeps me balanCed. 只有烟才能让我平衡

[05:24.52]DOesn't this plaCe rOCK? 这个地方很棒吧?

[05:29.16]YOu have tO give me Credit fOr an Original date. 这么正点的约会 你该称赞我一番

[05:32.16]lt's nOt OffiCially a date withOut COCKtails. 没有鸡尾酒不算约会

[05:36.44]My COaCh is gOnna Kill me. 我的教练会杀了我

[05:48.84]Half a flasK later, Sean and l had brOKen the iCe...at least my ass had. 在半瓶金宾酒之后 我们聊开了,屁股也开花了

[05:54.72]- That last fall was at least a 9.2. - YOu and the Russian judge...tOugh. -最后一“摔”至少有9.2分 -你跟俄国评审一样严苛

[05:60.16]There was sOmething abOut him. He was sexy, Charming...COOrdinated. 他有一种特质 性感、迷人、协调

[06:06.84]NOthing abOut him Or Our third date felt typiCal. 他和我们第三次约会都很特别

[06:08.44]When was yOur last seriOus relatiOnship? 你上一次认真谈感情 是什么时候?

[06:13.12]Until then...there it was. The inevitable third-date questiOn. 直到这个问题的出现 第三次约会无可避免的

[06:17.20]Bad questiOn? 不该问这个?

[06:20.36]YOu wanna taKe anOther spin arOund the death rinK? 想不想再上场旋转一次?

[06:22.72]NO, it's fine. lt's fine. 不了,玩够了

[06:26.80]l ended sOmething a while agO. 我结束上一段感情有一会儿了

[06:29.28]TwO years Of a lOt Of baCK and fOrths. We weren't Y2K COmpatible. 两年来分分合合,就是不相容

[06:35.20]What abOut yOu? 你呢?

[06:35.48]BefOre yOu there was Kayla. NeurOtiC. Lasted a year. 在你之前是凯拉 神经病患者,持续了一年

[06:39.04]BefOre her, Lesley, COuldn't COmmit. BefOre Lesley there was MarK. 再之前是蕾丝李,无法下承诺 在她之前是马克

[06:47.28]ls that a prOblem? 有问题吗?

[06:50.60]He's a bisexual. 他是双性恋

[06:53.04]l COuld have tOld yOu that. He tOOK yOu iCe-sKating. 我早就看出来了 他带你去溜冰

[06:56.64]The weird thing is he was sO Open. 奇怪的是他不以为意

[06:59.92]''Hi. l'm a bisexual.'' LiKe, ''Hi, l'm frOm COlOradO''. “你好,我是双性恋” 像“你好,我来自科罗拉多”

[07:04.68]YOu're nOt allOwed tO be bisexual in COlOradO. 在那里双性恋是不被允许的

[07:08.28]''ls that a prOblem?'' What Kind Of questiOn is that? “有问题吗?” 这是什么问题?

[07:10.68]- Of COurse! - What did yOu say? -这当然是个问题 -你说什么?

[07:12.52]That it wasn't a prOblem. He's suCh a gOOd Kisser. 你说这不是问题 我很慌,他吻功了得

[07:19.32]That generatiOn is all abOut sexual experimentatiOn. 那个世代的人是性实验的产物

[07:22.00]All the Kids are gOing bi. 所有的小孩都是双性恋

[07:25.20]lf they all jump Off a bridge, yOu will tOO? 要是他们都去跳河,你也会吗

[07:25.84]l'm a ''try-sexual''. l'll try anything OnCe. 我是实验“性”的 什么都要尝试一下

[07:28.16]When did this happen? When did the sexes get all COnfused? 什么时候性别 全混淆在一起了?

[07:34.80]SOmewhere between Gen X and Y, they blended and made XY. 在X世代和Y世代之间 混成XY世代

[07:38.68]l did the ''date the bisexual guy'' thing in COllege. 我在大学时代跟双性恋约会过

[07:42.24]- They all ended up with men. - SO did the bisexual wOmen. -他们最后都选择男人 -双性恋女人也是一样

[07:47.84]WhiCh is why there are nO men left fOr us. 所以我们都找不到男人

[07:49.20]Maybe l dO have a prOblem with this. l'm an Old fart. 或许这对我造成困扰 我是个老古板

[07:56.96]COrreCtiOn: A hOt Old fart. 更正:火辣的老古板

[07:58.64]l'm nOt even sure bisexuality exists. 我根本不确定双性恋是否存在

[08:00.04]lt's just a layOver On the way tO GaytOwn. 那只是迈向同性恋的尴尬地带

[08:04.24]lsn't that next tO RiCKy Martinville? 是不是在 “瑞奇马丁村”隔壁?

[08:07.12]lt's great. He's Open tO all sexual experienCes. He's evOlved. lt's hOt. 不排斥各式各样的性是好事 他是进化过的

[08:14.28]lt's greedy. He's dOuble-dipping. 这样很贪心,两边通吃

[08:17.44]YOu're nOt marrying him, yOu're maKing Out with him. FOrget the label. 你又不是要嫁给他,只是享乐 何必在乎贴哪个标签

[08:20.16]YOu're right. 你说的对

[08:23.20]l'm very intO labels. Gay. Straight. PiCK a side and stay there. 我很在意贴标签 同性恋,异性恋,二者择一

[08:26.92]Where are yOu gOing? 你要去哪里?

[08:30.28]HOme. l've gOt a date with my remOte COntrOl. 回家跟遥控器约会

[08:34.64]Steve's playing basKetball. That's three hOurs Of alOne time. 史蒂夫去打篮球 我有三个小时的独处时间

[08:38.92]- What abOut my prOblem? - StOp Kissing him. -我的问题怎么办? -不要再吻他了

[08:44.92]Easy fOr her tO say. 她说的容易

[08:48.48]That night, l COuldn't get Samantha's wOrds Out Of my head. 那一晚 我不断想着莎曼珊的话

[08:51.44]Was Sean's generatiOn On tO sOmething? 西恩那一代真的不一样了吗?

[08:55.84]Was sexual flipping the wave Of the future? 双性恋真的是未来的潮流吗?

[08:57.52]lf it was, COuld l play that game Or was l Over the hill? 真是如此 我应该加入其中还是逃开呢?

[09:01.52]lf wOmen Can transfOrm intO men, and men intO wOmen 要是女人可以变成男人 男人变成女人

[09:05.76]and we Can sleep with everyOne, 我们可以恣意与人上床

[09:05.56]then maybe gender dOesn't exist anymOre. 那么性别或许就不存在了

[09:08.32]lf we Can taKe the best Of the Other sex and maKe it Our Own, 要是我们可以决定变性

[09:15.40]has the OppOsite sex beCOme ObsOlete? “异性”这一词就会式微了?

[09:18.92]DOn't bust my balls. lf yOu're a head-hunter, get me a gOOd assistant. 不要整我,你最擅长挖角了 去帮我找个好助理

[09:22.04]- Yeah? - l'm lOOKing fOr a Mrs. JOnes. -有什么事吗? -我找琼斯太太

[09:27.96]- lt's Miss. - l'm here fOr the assistant jOb. -是小姐 -我来应征助理

[09:30.72]Please, COme in. 请进

[09:34.88]Samantha hired Matt five minutes later. 莎曼珊五分钟后雇用了麦特

[09:36.16]She was the man Of the OffiCe, but she COuld fit One mOre. 她是办公室里的男人 不过可以再让出一个位子

[09:41.16]Meanwhile dOwntOwn, CharlOtte COuld have used sOme help herself. 此时在市中心 夏绿蒂需要一点帮助

[09:45.100]SOmeOne is being industriOus. 有人很勤奋工作

[09:49.52]Hi. l didn't hear yOu COme in. 巴尔,我没听到你进来

[09:51.100]l thOught l'd COme by and sCare the shit Out Of yOu. 我想过来吓你一跳

[09:56.28]PiCK up my Cheque fOr the pieCes l sOld. 我是来拿支票的

[10:03.84]- Here. - ThanKs. -这里 -谢谢

[10:06.40]There's sOmething else. l've been thinKing abOut this. 还有一件事我想了很久

[10:11.20]l wOuld lOve yOu tO pOse fOr me. 我想帮你摄影

[10:12.64]- As a man? - Yeah, yOu'd be great. -扮成男人? -你一定会很棒的

[10:16.36]- NO, l dOn't thinK sO. - Why nOt? -我不这么认为 -为什么不?

[10:22.60]- l'm nOt... - A mOdel? -我不是… -模特儿

[10:23.08]NO, butCh. 不,男人婆

[10:27.96]YOu'd be surprised. Every wOman has a male inside. 你一定会吓一跳 每个女人内心都有一个男人

[10:30.76]Even yOu. 甚至是你

[10:32.44]NO, nOt me. 不,我不可能

[10:36.16]l'm really bad at math and l Can't Change a tire tO save my life. 我数理很差,连换轮胎都不会

[10:40.92]POse fOr me. l'll get it Out Of yOu. 让我帮你摄影 我把那个他唤出来

[10:45.88]COme On, be a man. 男人一点

[10:54.20]The next night, Sean and l went tO a Club sO new, even l hadn't heard Of it. 次晚,西恩带我到一家 我还没听过的新俱乐部

[10:59.16]- What's the name Of this plaCe? - ''Hair''. -这地方叫什么名字? -“毛”

[11:03.96]- LiKe the musiCal. - LiKe the stuff On yOur head. -就像那出歌舞剧 -就像你头上的东西

[11:06.24]- YOu're tOO COOl fOr me. - YOu're tOO Cute fOr me. -你太酷了 -你太可爱了

[11:09.64]Ten seCOnds Of Kissing and l almOst fOrgOt his laCK Of sexual OrientatiOn. 吻了十秒钟之后 我差点忘了他性向不明

[11:15.00]Until we stOpped Kissing. 直到我们停下来

[11:22.04]WhO are yOu CheCKing Out, the guy Or the girl? 你在看哪一个? 男生还是女生?

[11:25.84]l was lOOKing fOr the bathrOOm. 我在找洗手间

[11:29.52]Oh. SOrry. l'm sOrry. 抱歉

[11:34.96]SOrry, this whOle bisexual thing is thrOwing me fOr a lOOp. 你是双性恋这件事 一直困扰着我

[11:39.16]YOu've been with men and wOmen... 你跟男人女人都交往过

[11:44.84]Were yOu just lOOKing at that guy? 你在看那个男人吗?

[11:47.28]l'm lOOKing at yOu. 我在看你

[11:50.68]l'm with yOu. l dig yOu. 我跟你在一起,我“煞到”你

[11:53.16]- ''Dig'' is in again? - SO is ''grOOvy''. YOu're that tOO. -“煞到”又变流行语了? -“真水”也是,你也是

[11:57.24]SO, yOu're nOt gay? 你不是同志?

[11:58.72]l've been in three majOr relatiOnships. One was a guy. That's just me. 不是,我谈过三段认真的感情 一次是跟男人,那就是我

[12:11.64]An hOur later, Sean was in my bed. 一个小时后,西恩上了我的床

[12:17.24]That's just me. 那就是我

[12:23.76]- NiCe flOOr. - ThanKs. lt's a rental. -很棒的公寓 -谢谢,是租的

[12:31.04]- What? - NOthing. -怎么了? -没什么

[12:34.24]Tell me Or l'll maKe yOu gO sKating again. 告诉我不然我就拖你去溜冰

[12:47.64]- DO l Kiss better than a guy? - Better than any l've Kissed. -我比男人会接吻吗? -你是我见过最会接吻的

[12:53.88]HOw abOut me? 我呢?

[13:03.32]- TOp twO per Cent. - l'll taKe that. -前百分之二 -还可以接受

[13:10.68]lf there was this gOOd-lOOKing guy walKing tOwards yOu 要是有一个英俊的男子 向你走来

[13:14.64]and aCrOss the street was a beautiful girl, whiCh One... 对街又有一个漂亮的女生 你会…

[13:22.56]Carrie, COme On. 凯莉,拜托你

[13:22.12]COuld yOu stOp maKing this all abOut sex? 你能不能不要强调性别?

[13:25.52]lt's nOt. lt's abOut the persOn...yOu. 不是,是因为你

[13:29.16]l'm Crazy abOut yOu. 我为你疯狂

[13:31.68]The way yOu smell. 你的味道

[13:34.64]The way yOur upper lip tastes. 你上唇尝起来的滋味

[13:38.72]lt may nOt have been all abOut sex, but it was fOr the next twO hOurs. 或许“性”不是一切 但至少接下来的两个小时是

[13:47.88]l wasn't the Only One with yOunger men On the brain. 我不是唯一一个 喜欢年轻男子的人

[13:49.76]Listen tO me. We've Called yOur bOss three times already. 听好 我们已经找你上司三次了

[13:54.80]Give him that message. 把留言告诉他

[13:59.12]HellO. What are yOu dOing? 老兄

[13:60.32]你在做什么?

[14:02.48]- That is nOt hOw l dO business. - She maKes me Crazy. -这不是我谈生意的态度 -那个女人快把我逼疯了

[14:07.24]These are impOrtant Clients. DOn't talK tO them liKe that. 他们都是很重要的客户 不要那样说话

[14:08.96]YOu want them tO Call yOu? 你想让他们回电吗?

[14:10.96]Let me remind yOu that l am the bOss here. 提醒你,我才是这里的老板

[14:16.12]Fire me. l just thinK yOu deserve sOme respeCt. 炒我鱿鱼吧 我只是帮你挣点尊重

[14:20.48]Put this file away. 把这些档案放好

[14:26.44]Samantha fOund Matt's bOyish arrOganCe annOying, 莎曼珊发现 麦特孩子气的自负很讨厌

[14:30.32]unprOfessiOnal...and inCredibly hOt. 很不专业…但异常性感

[14:38.76]Miranda was having a prOblem sharing a spaCe with the Other sex. 米兰达搞不懂 如何跟异性分享空间

[14:46.64]What? 什么事?

[14:48.40]- What's gOing On? - YOu're On my side. -怎么了? -你睡到我这一边了

[14:51.88]My pillOw. My guest pillOw. 我的枕头,客人的枕头

[14:56.68]OK, l'll tell yOu what. 好,这么办吧

[14:60.76]TOmOrrOw we'll buy sOme paint and draw a line dOwn the middle. 明天我们去买漆 帮你在中间画界线

[15:11.00]GO tO sleep. 睡觉吧

[15:17.04]That pile. YOur stuff. YOu have tO Keep it neater. 你那一堆衣服要收整齐

[15:21.24]Maybe if yOu Can spare a drawer l Can Keep my things Out Of the way. 要是你分一个抽屉给我 我就可以把内裤收好

[15:28.00]YOu want a drawer? 你想要一个抽屉?

[15:32.84]ACtually... 事实上…

[15:39.20]l'd liKe tO mOve in. 我想搬进来

[15:41.20]MOst single wOmen dream Of this mOment. 几乎所有的单身女子 都幻想着这一刻

[15:42.28]MOst single wOmen but Miranda. 米兰达除外

[15:46.88]WOw! OK. 这样…好

[15:51.92]Where did that COme frOm? 你怎么会有这种念头?

[15:52.92]l've been thinKing abOut it. 我一直都在考虑

[15:56.08]We have a great time. We're praCtiCally live tOgether... 我们在一起很快乐 而且也几乎同居了

[15:60.68]Yeah, but we're nOt. 但是事实上并没有

[16:06.68]LOOK. 听好

[16:06.44]We just started dating again. 我们才又刚开始约会

[16:08.80]There is nO need tO gO at warp speed. NObOdy's dying. 没有必要这么仓促 没有人快死了

[16:15.60]l'm sure every bOOK wOuld say we're nOt ready. 我敢赌每一本书都会说 我们还没准备好

[16:16.40]YOu're here all the time. 你总是到我这里来

[16:19.76]NO prOblem. l'll get Out Of yOur hair. l'll leave the Key. 没问题,我马上滚出去 我把钥匙留下来

[16:23.04]NO! DOn't leave the Key. TaKe the Key. 不,把钥匙带着

[16:27.64]l just... l need my spaCe. l feel liKe l'm being suffOCated. 我只是需要自己的空间 我觉得快要室息了

[16:36.68]Jesus, Miranda... 老天,米兰达…

[16:38.64]lt's liKe yOu're the guy sOmetimes. 有时候你还真像男人

[16:45.72]FaCed with relatiOnship prOblems, sOme wOmen turn tO fried fOOd. 面对感情出现问题 有些女人猛吃油炸食品

[16:49.48]Miranda turned tO the latest fitness Craze - ''The GOddess WOrKOut''. 米兰达则是转向曼哈顿最新的 健身风潮“女神训练”

[16:53.04]Ladies, Open up yOur ChaKras. Let the inner gOddess sing. 女士们,放开一点 让体内的女神歌唱

[16:59.40]She's in there. All yOu have tO dO is let her Out. 她就在里面 你们只需要去释放她

[17:03.48]- This helps yOu tO be a wOman? - l must find my inner gOddess. -这能帮助你成为女人? -我看我是找不到了

[17:06.36]And pOp yOur hip. POp yOur hip. 抬臀…抬臀

[17:12.68]Open yOurself liKe a lOtus flOwer. 像莲花一样展开自己

[17:14.96]COme On, pOp yOur hip. 来,抬臀

[17:17.32]POp yOur hip. 抬臀

[17:20.68]- My hips dOn't pOp, l'm a guy. - YOu're insane. -我臀部抬不起来,我是男人 -你疯了

[17:27.24]This isn't helping me find my inner gOddess, Only my inner humiliatiOn. 这不能帮我找到体内的女神 只让我找到羞辱

[17:31.12]And reaCh baCK. ReaCh fOr the stars. 伸展背部,伸手触碰星星

[17:40.48]We're Out Of here. 我们走

[17:46.12]l'm never gOnna be a girly girl. l never will. 我不是有女人味的女人 我永远都不会是

[17:50.04]- l'll never be a lOtus flOwer. - ThanK GOd. -我永远当不成莲花 -谢天谢地

[17:54.00]A girly girl wOuld want her bOyfriend tO mOve in. 真正的女人会想要 他的男友搬进来

[17:55.56]She alsO wears maKe-up tO the gym. 还会化浓妆去健身房

[17:58.48]And maKes little hearts abOve her ''i's''. 写字时候喜欢画爱心

[18:04.96]l dO lOve him... l dO. 我是真的爱他

[18:06.72]- l KnOw. - What's my prOblem? -我知道 -那我的问题是什么?

[18:11.68]ln any relatiOnship One persOn is the alpha dOg. 在一段感情中 总有一个人是大猎犬

[18:13.28]The One in Charge...that's yOu. YOu dOn't liKe sharing yOur water dish. 一个发号司令的人,就是你 你不喜欢分享水盘

[18:19.44]- l'm very free with the Chew tOys. - That yOu are. -但是我可以分享玩具 -没错

[18:22.00]Miranda arrived hOme later tO an empty apartment. 米兰达稍后回到空荡荡的公寓

[18:30.48]And fOr the first time, she really didn't liKe it. 第一次,她不喜欢这样

[18:34.44]While Miranda and l wOrKed Out Our inner gOddesses, 当米兰达跟我试着 唤醒心中的女神

[18:38.36]Baird was wOrKing the male Out Of CharlOtte. 巴尔努力将 夏绿蒂的男人叫出来

[18:42.28]YOu lOOK great. 你看起来很棒

[18:44.72]l'm sOrry, l Can't dO this. 抱歉,我做不到

[18:50.28]Just relax. Let it gO. FOrget CharlOtte. 放轻松,自然一点 忘掉夏绿蒂

[18:55.24]YOu're a man nOw. YOu're a hOt guy. YOu Can get any wOman yOu want. 你是个男人,性感的男人 女人心中的大情圣

[19:01.32]YOu're riCh, yOu're pOwerful. YOu eat guys liKe me fOr lunCh. 你富有,有势力 把我这样的男人当午餐吃掉

[19:04.56]HOw are yOu feeling nOw?. 你现在感觉怎么样?

[19:09.04]l thinK l need a bigger sOCK. 我需要大一点的袜子

[19:13.12]l thinK yOu dO, tOO. 我也这么想

[19:36.08]Better? 好一点了吗?

[19:39.08]MuCh. 好多了

[19:39.24]WhO KnOws whether it was the sOCK Or the suit Or Baird. 不知道是袜子、衣服还是巴尔

[19:44.92]CharlOtte wasn't just a ChiCK with a diCK, she was a ChiCK with balls. 突然间 夏绿蒂不再是有小弟弟的女孩

[19:48.40]她是“有种”的女孩

[19:58.96]The twO alpha dOgs at Samantha's were nOt getting alOng as well. 莎曼珊办公室的两头猎犬 处得不太好

[20:01.12]These invitatiOns need tO gO tO the printers ASAP. 这些邀请函要马上送到 印刷工厂

[20:06.12]l'll get tO it. 我等一下就去办

[20:08.00]NOw. DrOp them at 72nd Street then piCK up lunCh. 现在就去,在七十二街 然后去拿午餐

[20:11.00]They're in OppOsite direCtiOns. l'll get lunCh first. 这两个地方在不同方向 我先去拿午餐

[20:14.04]- lnvitatiOns first. - Fine, then l'll be an hOur late. -邀请函先处理 -好,那我会晚一个小时回来

[20:19.36]DO yOu realize yOu're my assistant? 你知道你是我的助理吗?

[20:19.44]YOur jOb is tO dO what l say. 你的工作就是听我发号司令

[20:24.92]- l KnOw what l'm dOing. - And l KnOw better. -我知道自己在做什么 -我比你更清楚

[20:26.80]- Say's whO? - Me. -谁说的? -我

[20:29.88]- WhO dO yOu thinK yOu are? - YOur bOss. -你以为你是谁? -你老板

[20:35.96]Samantha JOnes' PR. 莎曼珊琼斯公关公司

[20:37.92]l dOn't KnOw when she will. She's been busy. 我不知道她什么时候有空 她很忙

[20:41.40]YOu have a shitty attitude tOO. And yOur parties suCK. 你的态度也很差,派对更烂

[20:47.88]The bad news is, yOu're fired. 坏消息是,你被炒鱿鱼了

[20:51.32]The gOOd news is... nOw l Can fuCK yOu. 好消息是,我可以跟你上床了

[20:53.84]The Only plaCe Samantha and Matt wOrKed well tOgether was in bed. 莎曼珊和麦特只有在床上契合

[20:57.88]FuCK me On the desK. 在办公桌上做

[21:04.96]- On the Chair. - NO, On the desK. -在椅子上 -不,在办公桌上

[21:07.16]With Sam On tOp, naturally. 自然是莎曼珊在上面

[21:11.72]That night, Miranda invited Steve fOr pasta. 那一晚,米兰达邀史蒂夫 来吃意大利面

[21:13.52]- Hi. l'm late. l KnOw l'm late. - lt's OK. -我迟到了 -没关系

[21:18.96]l was gOnna maKe yOu dinner, 我要做晚餐 会议却拖了两个小时

[21:21.04]and then this COnferenCe Call went Over twO hOurs.

[21:24.16]l went tO the marKet. l needed extra virgin Olive Oil. They Only had virgin. 我到超市去采购 却买不到食谱上的材料

[21:27.60]l dOn't KnOw the differenCe. l dOn't COOK. SO l gOt the stuff in a jar. 我不知道行不行,我从不下厨 所以我买了一罐

[21:37.84]DOn't mOve. lt's glass. 不要动,那是玻璃

[21:41.24]l Can't. l Can't dO this. 我办不到,我不行

[21:42.00]- We'll Order pizza, it's nO big deal. - lt's a big fuCKing deal. -我们叫披萨外送,没关系 -有很大的关系

[21:49.08]l just spilled Marinara sauCe and yOu saw that. l drOp things, OK? 我在你面前打翻了大蒜番茄酱 我笨手笨脚

[21:52.04]OK. SO dO l. 我也是

[21:58.32]l dO lOve yOu. But l've never lived with anybOdy befOre. 我很爱你 不过我未曾与人同居过

[22:03.48]And l'm stubbOrn. And l liKe the remOte. 我很固执,喜欢掌控遥控器

[22:07.16]And l Can't COOK. 而且不会煮饭

[22:09.76]l dOn't dO laundry sOmetimes fOr twO weeKs. And my spOnges smell. 有时候两个礼拜不洗衣服 菜瓜布会发臭

[22:15.96]YOu're gOnna see all that. l'm sCared. 你将会看到这一切,我很害怕

[22:19.32]l dOn't KnOw if l Can mOve fOrward, but l dOn't want tO lOse yOu. 我不知道我能不能跨出这一步 不过我害怕失去你

[22:26.00]OK. 我知道

[22:33.12]l'm nOt gOing anywhere. 我哪儿都不会去

[22:42.00]l'm Crying On yOur shOulder. l guess l really am a wOman. 我在你肩上哭泣 我想我真的是女人

[22:47.44]A weeK later, Miranda's man mOved intO her plaCe. 一周后 米兰达的男人搬进她家

[22:50.84]The same day that CharlOtte mOved her man intO her plaCe. 同一天 夏绿蒂的男人也进驻她家

[22:53.68]She never saw Baird again. 她不曾再见过巴尔

[22:56.48]She was tOO embarrassed at hOw fOrward she'd been. 她很窘困自己曾经那么主动

[22:59.76]She might have been that type Of guy but never that type Of wOman. 她的女儿身可不曾那个样子

[23:05.44]80 blOCKs dOwntOwn, five flights up, Sean and l were almOst at the party. 走了八十条街和爬了五层楼 西恩跟我就快到达派对现场

[23:10.52]One mOre flOOr, l prOmise. 再一层楼就到了

[23:13.40]lf there's nO vOdKa, it's yOur head. 要是没有伏特加 你就要人头落地

[23:16.96]TaKe it easy, dude, we're here. 放轻松,就快到了

[23:19.44]OK, dude. 好,老兄

[23:27.52]- WhO's party is this? - MarK's. -这是谁的派对? -马克的

[23:30.60]MarK, ex-bOyfriend MarK? 前男友马克?

[23:32.16]ls that a prOblem? 有困扰吗?

[23:34.04]lt's his bOyfriend's birthday. 这是他男朋友的生日

[23:38.36]lt was definitely a first. 我头一次碰到这种状况

[23:39.40]l was attending a party Of my bOyfriend's ex-bOyfriend. 我参加我男朋友的前男友 举办的派对

[23:45.00]And his bOyfriend. 还有他的现任男友

[23:48.68]Carrie, this is MarK and his bOyfriend Garth. 凯莉,这是马克和他男友葛斯

[23:49.16]- Partner. - This is Our baby, lsabell. -伴侣 -这是我们的宝宝,伊沙贝

[23:54.72]TwO ''L's'', nO ''E''. 沙子的沙,没有草字头

[23:56.56]OK. Happy birthday. 生日快乐

[23:57.84]- This is Dawn and GraCe. - They just gOt married in Hawaii. -这是唐恩和葛蕾斯 -她们刚在夏威夷结婚

[24:04.48]COngratulatiOns. 恭喜

[24:07.08]- lt was a spur Of the mOment. - l didn't want anOther big wedding. -事先毫无准备 -我不想办盛大的婚礼

[24:09.04]- lt wasn't sO bad. - Being married tO yOu suCKed. -没有那么惨 -跟你结婚是很惨

[24:14.12]- YOu twO were... - Married. FOr a year. -你们两个… -结婚一年了

[24:19.80]We were high fOr mOst Of it, Otherwise it wOuld've been miserable. 我们当时嗑药嗑过头 要不然下场不会这么惨

[24:21.08]DOn't fOrget l gave yOu that egg. 不要忘了卵子是我捐赠的

[24:25.96]This is Our straight friend, JOel. 这是我们仅有的异性恋朋友 乔伊

[24:26.52]- Are yOu wearing pleather? - ThanK yOu fOr nOtiCing. -你穿皮革吗? -谢谢你注意到了

[24:32.44]An hOur later, l had almOst gOt it straight. 一小时后,我才搞清楚状况

[24:35.00]GraCe OnCe dated Brett. 葛蕾斯曾跟布莱特约会

[24:39.24]- And Brett used tO live with JOel? - Semi-platOniCally. -布莱特曾跟乔伊同居? -半柏拉图式的

[24:44.36]- YOu slept with Dawn. - BefOre she was with MarK. -你跟唐恩上过床 -她跟马克在一起前

[24:45.44]Naturally. 当然

[24:47.80]Gay, bi, straight. This party was a platter Of sexual OrientatiOn. 同性恋,双性恋,异性恋 这个派对是性向大融合

[24:57.44]Time tO play. 游戏时间到了

[25:01.56]- Play what? - Spin the bOttle. -什么游戏? -转瓶子

[25:05.72]Seventh grade spin the bOttle? 七年级的转瓶子?

[25:06.28]- Play. lt's fun. - COme On, it's fun. -去玩吧,很有趣的 -来吧,很好玩

[25:28.88]Get a rOOm. 去开房间吧

[25:31.48]Get a dental dam. 去戴牙套吧

[26:01.96]- lt's a girl. Try again. - lt's OK. -是女生,再转一次吧 -没关系

[26:06.08]Of COurse it was. l was in AliCe-ln-COnfused-Sexuality Land. 当然没关系 我现在处在性向错乱世界

[26:14.80]l had a ChOiCe. l COuld stand up, walK Out and prOve l was an Old fart. 我可以选择站起来 走出去,证明我是老古板

[26:18.40]Or l COuld fall dOwn the rabbit hOle. 也可以入境随俗

[26:50.80]SO l fell. lt wasn't bad. Kind Of liKe ChiCKen. 我选择后者,感觉不太糟 尝起来像鸡肉

[26:59.52]- Where are yOu gOing? lt's yOur spin. - Just mOre Cigarettes. -你要去哪里?换你转瓶子了 -去抽根烟

[27:08.56]That was the last night l saw Sean. 那是我最后一次见到西恩

[27:08.76]They COuld dO what they wanted, but l was tOO Old tO play this game. 他们可以为所欲为 但是这个游戏我玩不起

[27:17.04]SO l tOOK my hOt, Old fart-ass hOme. 我拖着老古板的自己回家

[27:20.80]That's just me. 这就是我

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