欲望都市第五季 爱的神秘 I Love a Charade

[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:45:16 [00:02.00]听美剧学英语(MP3+LRC) [00:12.60]欲望城市 [00:36.00](性爱专家凯莉布雷萧 并且勇于发问) [00:43.00]“爱的神秘” [00:47.76]In this ever-expanding gaIaxy caIIed New York City... 纽约就像不断扩张的宇宙 [00:51.84]there are certain heavenIy bodies one orbits around every day. 许多天体 每天绕着同一个轨道运转 [00:54.84]And then there are those stars... 恒星每隔几年会吸引 或抛开游离的小行星 [00:56.48]whose gravitationaI puII one drifts in and out of over the years. [00:60.80]Is that aII there is [01:01.76]Bobby Fine, sateIIite friend, piano bar Iegend. 老是绕着我打转的巴比范 是钢琴酒吧里的传奇人物 [01:06.64]l usually do this number at home in a pink caftan and a Peggy Lee wig. 我通常会在家穿着粉红色礼服 戴着佩姬李的假发唱这首歌 [01:09.92]Like you've never done the same thing after three daiquiris? 三杯黄汤下肚 我保证一定走音 [01:15.88]But right now, l must take a quick break to say hello to a celebrity friend. 我必须休息一下 跟我的名人好友打招呼 [01:20.64]ls there any other kind? Little Miss Carrie Bradshaw. 这里的每个人都是名人吧? [01:21.16]欢迎凯莉布雷萧小姐 [01:22.52]Wonderful. 她写书 大家还记得什么是书吧? [01:24.96]She writes books. You remember books. Primitive versions of the DVD. [01:27.92]DVD的原始版 [01:29.48]Stop, please stop. Okay, one more time for the cheap seats in the back. 别笑了，好吧，再来一次 [01:30.08]算是给坐在廉价后座 的客人优待 [01:35.36]Is that aII there is (就这样吗?) [01:39.04]Yes, that's aII there is (对，就这样) [01:46.32]How long have you two known each other? 你们认识多久了? [01:46.00]Let's put it this way. Cats was just Kittens. 从“猫”还是小猫开始 [01:50.76]-Cats, the musical. Hello? -Oh, l loved Cats. 音乐剧“猫”吗?别开玩笑了 [01:54.48]-我喜欢“猫” -救护车 [01:55.16]-Medic. -lt hasn't been that long, has it? [01:57.52]Please, darling, when we met, you took aerobics and Stanford had hair. 才没有那么久 [01:59.92]我们刚认识时你还在跳有氧 史丹佛还有头发 [02:01.20]-Bobby. -Bitsy. l thought you had a dinner. -巴比 -贝西，我以为你去吃晚餐了 [02:05.68]Oh, l do. The driver is circling, but l had to run up and say hello. 没错，司机在外面绕圈圈 我必须进来打个招呼 [02:09.28]Oh, hello. [02:12.92]Bitsy Von Muffling. This is Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and the one who liked Cats. 贝西冯马芬林 [02:12.76]凯莉，米兰达，莎曼珊 跟喜欢“猫”的小姐 [02:18.44]Bitsy, Samantha Jones. l did PR for your museum benefit. 莎曼珊琼斯，我帮你的 博物馆慈善会做过公关 [02:21.88]Samantha, of course, l loved you. 莎曼珊，我爱死你了 [02:23.56]l was just so thrilled that someone actually liked Cats. 我只是吓了一跳 还有人喜欢“猫” [02:26.16]-l didn't like it that much. -Waiter, sense of humor, Table 5. -我没有那么喜欢它 -服务生，五号桌要点幽默感 [02:30.100]-So, Samantha, how are you? -Fabulous. How are you? -莎曼珊，你好吗? -我好极了，你呢? [02:34.64]Delirious. l'm madly in love and getting married. 非常棒，我疯狂地坠入爱河 就快要结婚了 [02:37.36]-Big Hamptons wedding. -Congratulations. Who's the lucky stud? -我们要在汉普顿办婚礼 -谁是那个幸运的男人? [02:43.24]Me. 我 [02:53.92]-You're getting married? -Can you believe it? -你要结婚了? -你能相信吗? [02:57.36]Bitsy and l are affianced. l finally found the right girl. 贝西跟我订婚了 我终于遇到了我的梦中情人 [03:08.04]Mr. Broadway has to go tinkle before he can tinkle. 百老汇先生得靠意淫 让自己的小弟弟打起精神来 [03:11.60]Samantha, l have your address. You have to come. 我有你的住址，你一定要来 很高兴能见到你们 [03:12.36]-Nice meeting you all. -Bye. [03:17.16]l thought he was gay. 我还以为他是同性恋 [03:19.04]Yeah, ''Mr. Broadway has to go tinkle''? That's the gayest sentence ever uttered. “百老汇先生得靠意淫” 那句话的同性恋意味太浓了 [03:25.20]He must be marrying her for the money. -他这么做一定是为了钱 -他不需要钱 [03:27.20]He doesn't need the money. He was one of the original investors in Chorus Line. 他是“歌舞线上”的 创始投资人 [03:29.68]Just when you thought you'd never hear anything gayer... 我想你再也听不到 [03:34.36]than ''Mr. Broadway has to go tinkle.'' 比“百老汇先生得靠意淫” 更具同性恋意味的话了 [03:34.56]Why would he be getting married? 他为什么要结婚? [03:39.64]ln 1988, Bobby Fine announced... 1988年巴比范宣布 他要卖掉在市区的钢琴酒吧 [03:40.80]that he was going to sell his piano bar downtown... [03:43.28]and go volunteer with Nicaraguan orphans. 跑到尼加拉瓜当义工照顾孤儿 [03:48.16]The orphans are still waiting. 那些孤儿还在等待救援 他不可能结婚的 [03:49.28]This wedding will never happen. [03:53.92]lt's happening. 真的发生了 [03:55.32]Everything's booked. So the really big question is where are we going to stay? 一切都订好了 问题是我们要住在哪里? [03:59.72]That's the really big question? 那是个大问题吗? 问题应该是他们为什么结婚 [04:02.36]What about, ''Why are these two people marrying each other?'' [04:05.36]-ls that all there is? -Bitsy said they were madly in love. -就这样吗? -贝西说他们深深相爱 [04:09.72]You see, l find the love facade the most offensive part. 我发现爱是最脆弱的理由 [04:11.60]We're adults. We can handle it. 我们是成年人 我们可以应付它 [04:13.32]Bitsy should say, ''l'm getting older, and l want companionship.'' 贝西应该说 “我老了，我需要伴” [04:16.88]Or Bobby should say, ''The hot men don't go for me anymore.'' 巴比应该说“帅哥不要我了” [04:19.36]But don't print invitations and call it love... 别印喜帖告诉大家那就是爱 [04:22.56]as if love transforms people and changes molecules... 一副爱能让人改变性向的样子 真是胡扯 [04:26.24]'cause that's bullshit. 你不想当我的男伴? [04:26.24]-l guess you don't want to be my date then. -No dates, unless they have summer houses. [04:30.84]除非他们有避暑别墅 [04:30.92]Relax. We can stay with Stanford and Marcus. -我们要跟史丹佛及马可斯住 -我一定是个白痴 [04:33.60]l was a fool to break up with Richard before Labor Day. He has a fabulous house. 才会在劳动节前跟理查分手 他有栋很漂亮的房子 [04:38.68]l wouldn't go to this charade if you paid me. 就算你付我钱，我也不会去 [04:41.24]lt's like there's a pink suede elephant in the middle of the room... 这就像房子里有头粉红象 大家却装做什么都没发生一样 [04:45.32]-and nobody's allowed to talk about it. -You think they won't have sex? [04:45.84]-你觉得他们不会有性生活? -结婚的人都没有性生活 [04:49.92]All married couples stop having sex eventually. [04:50.20]That's not true. You've had sex with lots of married people. -你跟已婚男人发生性关系 -所以我才会知道这档子事 [04:55.68]That's how l know. 好吧，就说他们是在找老伴 [04:56.48]Okay, let's say it's companionship. [04:58.96]How do you sustain a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu? 没有爱的感觉 怎么维持婚姻关系? [05:02.24]-The what? -That butterflies-in-your-stomach thing... 你说什么? [05:04.60]你的心跟乱飞的蝴蝶一样时 你不只爱上了对方 [05:07.40]that happens when you not only love the person, but you gotta have them. [05:09.68]你还想拥有他 [05:11.28]lsn't that what gets you through the years? 不是那股力量一直支持你吗? [05:14.24]Even if it fades, at least you have the memory of the zsa zsa zsu. 就算爱已消逝 你还会记得那种感觉 [05:16.84]l'm fine with whatever people want to do. Just be straight with me. 大家想做什么我都没意见 我只要求对方坦白 [05:21.40]l think that's how Bitsy proposed to Bobby. 我想那就是 贝西跟巴比求婚的理由 [05:25.52]It was right about then CharIotte decided to be straight with us. 这时夏绿蒂决定跟我们坦白 [05:28.88]l'm seeing someone, sort of. 我在跟某人约会… 应该可以那么说 [05:32.16]You're in a ''sort of'' relationship? 你应该算是在跟某人交往? [05:34.56]lt's ridiculous. He's so not my type. 这太可笑了 他不是我那一型的 [05:35.24]-ls he heterosexual? -Yes. -他是异性恋吗? -对 [05:39.32]But he's bald and short, and he talks with his mouth full. 但他是个秃头矮冬瓜 喜欢边吃东西边说话 [05:43.00]l don't even want to be seen in public with him. 我不想被人在公开场合 看到我跟他在一起 [05:46.24]l hate his name, Harry, because he is, everywhere but his head. 我讨厌他的名字，他叫哈利 他除了头顶外全身都是毛 [05:50.44]-ls the sex bad, too? -lt's the best sex of my life. -你们的性关系很糟糕吗? -这是我一生中最棒的性经验 [05:58.48]l think l might really like him. 我想或许我喜欢他 [06:00.88]You want to go to a wedding in the Hamptons in a few weeks? 你想到汉普顿参加婚礼吗? [06:04.28]Bitsy Von Muffling's. -贝西冯马芬林的婚礼 -你被邀请了? [06:07.16]-You're invited to that? -Oh, yeah, l handled her divorce. -我是她的离婚律师 -你不是汉普顿那一型的 [06:10.32]l just never thought of you as a Hamptons type. [06:10.52]l am the Hamptons, baby. l own a house in Bridge. 我是汉普顿那一型的 我在布里治汉普顿有房子 [06:14.00]Well, l can't go. l'm not really ready for swimsuit season. 我不能去，我还没准备穿泳装 [06:19.56]What? You're a fucking knockout. -你是个大美人 -问题出在你的背 [06:21.16]-lt's you. lt's your back. -What's wrong with my back? [06:22.12]-我的背怎么了? -你的背都是毛 [06:23.72]lt's very hairy. You're not supposed to be able to grab someone's back. [06:25.60]我没办法抓你的背 [06:30.00]This is how l was born. What am l supposed to do about it? 我该怎么办呢? [06:31.76]-Get it waxed. -l'll tell you what. 你必须去除毛 [06:34.76]你跟我一起去参加婚礼 我就去除背毛 [06:35.96]You come with me to the wedding, and l will get my back waxed. [06:40.92]Fine. 好吧 [06:42.40]-Come here, you. -Your hands are all greasy. -你过来 -你的手油腻腻 [06:48.16]That night, I thought about what it takes to make a reIationship work... 那晚我思索着 恋爱成功的关键到底是什么 [06:54.48]tiII death do us part. “至死不渝” [06:59.36]Most singIes have more Iong-term success with friends. 大部分的单身男女 可以跟朋友维持长期的关系 [07:00.44]So maybe it is a better strategy to marry a friend. 或许跟朋友结婚 是比较好的策略 [07:05.20]However, in the absence of sex... 然而缺乏性生活… [07:06.48]whether that's the arrangement, or just what happens after a few years... 不论是事先协议 或结婚发生了什么事 [07:11.44]what distinguishes this companion from your many other companions? 你如何区分终身伴侣 跟其他的朋友? [07:16.40]When it comes to saying ''I do''... 一提到“我愿意”，婚姻关系 [07:17.12]is a reIationship a reIationship without the zsa zsa zsu? [07:21.88]难道是没有感觉的关系吗? [07:25.28]Or in Samantha's case... 在莎曼珊的案例中 [07:25.96]how much is a woman due for surviving the zsa zsa zsu? 女人没有爱的感觉 可以硬撑到什么程度? [07:30.84]This is Richard. You have 30 seconds. (我是理查) [07:31.60]l've been thinking. Our pathetic relationship... 我曾想过我们的可悲关系 就跟婚姻差不多 [07:35.44]is as close to marriage as either one of us ever hopes to get. 这都是我们不愿意的 我想跟你和解 [07:37.32]So l feel l deserve some sort of settlement. [07:40.96]Like, say, a weekend at your house in the Hamptons. You're not invited. 我要借用你在汉普顿的房子 一个周末，你不在宾客名单上 [07:44.96]l'll be having a party. You're not invited to that either. 我要办派对，但不会邀请你 [07:47.16]lt's Samantha. Call me. 我是莎曼珊，回电话给我 [07:55.28]A coupIe of weeks Iater... 几星期后一对前男女朋友 [07:55.16]another coupIe of exes were working out their summer share. [07:58.28]一同度过他们的夏日时光 [07:60.84]-Hi. How you doing? -Hey. -你好吗? -我跟布莱迪在睡午觉 [08:03.92]Me and Brady were just napping. [08:08.00]l miss napping. They look down on napping at work. 我想念睡午觉的感觉 工作时睡午觉会被臭骂一顿 [08:13.36]lt's so hot out. 外面好热 [08:16.36]l was going to give him one more bottle before l left. 我离开前再帮他泡瓶牛奶 [08:19.12]-l can do it. -l know, but l like it. -我来吧 -我知道，但我喜欢那么做 [08:23.44]lt used to be all breasts. Not me and him. We got our bottle thing. 以前我都喂他母奶 现在还是要泡牛奶给他喝 [08:31.40]-Did Magda bring those? -No, l did. -这是梅格带来的? -不，是我拿来的 [08:35.12]Nice garden in Queens. 皇后区的花园很漂亮 [08:42.52]Lilacs. 是紫丁香 [08:45.92]Yeah. 没错 [08:47.20]Good flowers. 好漂亮的花 [08:54.24]Miranda wasn't sure if it was the smeII of the IiIacs, the smeII of the baby... 米兰达不确定是紫丁香的香气 [08:59.44]宝宝的味道 还是史蒂夫皮肤的气味在作祟 [08:59.88]or the smeII of Steve's skin. [09:02.16]But that afternoon, Steve went from ex to sex. 但那天下午 她跟前男友史蒂夫做爱 [09:08.44]l slept with Steve. 我跟史蒂夫做爱 [09:10.36]Miranda admitted they were somewhere between friends and Iovers... 米兰达承认 他们介于好友跟情人之间 [09:13.92]somewhere between Manhattan and the Hamptons. 介于曼哈顿跟汉普顿之间 [09:16.68]That's why you decided to participate in the charade. You're fleeing. 所以你要参加派对 你想逃开这一切 [09:19.76]l'm a fucking fugitive, literally. 事实上我是个逃犯 [09:21.68]-Perhaps it was the zsa zsa zsu. -No. lt was an itch... 那是心动的感觉吗? [09:24.28]which we shouldn't have scratched, because now we're into a gray area. 不，那是我们不该去抓的痒处 [09:26.76]现在我们踏入了灰色地带 没有性关系让我们走得很近 [09:28.64]Not having sex was the only thing holding us together. [09:31.24]You're fleeing to the right wedding. l think that's the theme. 你逃进婚姻里 那真的是太妙了 [09:33.88]Seriously. You can't have a kid with someone... 带着孩子你没办法交男朋友 [09:37.68]and get along and have great sex without giving the wrong impression. 跟他相处甚欢，性生活美满 却又不会让别人误解 [09:40.68]That being what, that you're happy? 那么做你快乐吗? [09:42.56]Fabulous. [09:45.24]Absolutely. 当然 [09:48.72]Yeah, bring them along. 带他们一起来 我也期待你的大驾光临 [09:50.80]l look forward to seeing you, too. [09:52.08]This party is going to be amazing. Strictly A list. 这个派对一定会很棒 大家都会赞不绝口 [09:56.56]-Are we still invited? -Yes. But shitty-pants there is not. 我们还在宾客名单中吗? [09:57.64]对，但你的小孩不是 [10:01.12]l have to bring him. l can't find a sitter. 我找不到保姆 [10:04.20]He's ruining my lunch. He's not ruining my party. No babies. 他毁了我的午餐，我不会让他 毁了我的派对，宝宝不能来 [10:06.68]Evidently, there's already a party pooper. 这次的聚会已经搞砸了 [10:12.08]Ketchup. 番茄酱 [10:24.60]-Carrie? -Yeah. 凯莉 [10:28.40]你好 [10:30.44]-Hi. -Jack. -我是杰克 -你是柏格，我还记得你 [10:30.56]-Berger. l know, l remember. -What's going on here, are you okay? [10:34.72]你还好吗?我该用热狗面包 跟树枝帮你做止血带吗? [10:36.56]Do l need to make a tourniquet out of a hotdog bun and a twig? [10:38.88]-No, it's just.... -Ketchup. -那只是… -番茄酱 [10:42.08]Yeah. Thanks. 对，谢谢你 [10:44.16]-l didn't figure you for a motorcycle guy. -Turns out l'm not. 我没想到你会骑摩托车 [10:48.44]l bought it as a reaction to my breakup. 我不会，我只是因为分手 一时冲动买下它 [10:52.80]It was exactIy what I wanted. A Berger with a side of singIe. 那正是我要的… 成为单身汉的柏格 [10:57.100]You look good on it. 你骑车的样子很帅 [11:01.16]No. l look good next to it. On it, l look like this. 不，我站在它旁边时很帅 我骑车时是这个样子 [11:05.64]l'm not even really hungry. l pulled over because... 我真的不饿，我停车 因为有只虫撞上我的护目镜 [11:08.64]you know, a bug hit my visor, and my hands are still shaking. [11:11.04]-我的手还在抖 -原来你是个烂骑士 [11:12.00]So you're ''uneasy rider.'' [11:17.80]Well, if you make it to the Hamptons... 如果你到得了汉普顿 [11:20.28]my friend is having a party tomorrow afternoon. lt's at Richard Wright's house. 我朋友明天要在那里办派对 就在理查莱特的房子里 [11:25.24]l heard about that. That's quite a place. l pass it on the way to my house. 我听说了，那地方很不错 我到我的房子时会经过 [11:31.72]l'm going to get a soda. 我要喝杯汽水，我在安全帽里 拼命尖叫觉得喉咙很干 [11:33.96]My throat's kind of dry from all the screaming inside my helmet. [11:39.76]-lt's nice to see you. -Yeah, you, too, Berger. -很高兴能见到你 -我也是，柏格 [11:43.12]-Maybe l'll see you tomorrow. -Yeah. lf you don't... -或许我们明天能见到面 -见不到我的话快打电话报警 [11:48.08]-call the Highway Patrol. -Yeah. [11:52.84]DefiniteIy zsa zsa zsu. 这的确是种心动的感觉 [11:55.52]The next morning, Samantha prepared her borrowed beach house for the big bash. 隔天早上莎曼珊 在借来的屋里准备盛大的派对 [12:02.52]l want half the tables set up near the house and the others near the pool. 一半的桌子摆在房子附近 [12:02.88]其他的就摆在游泳池边 [12:08.00]Ladies. 你们是谁? [12:09.40]-Cassandra, did you bring my tote? -Shit, where are my Merits? -卡珊卓，我的包包呢? -我的防晒乳在哪里? [12:12.92]Ladies, excuse me. Hi. 对不起 [12:14.72]The wait staff is to change in the guest cottage down near the entrance. 服务生该到客房去换衣服 [12:19.04]客房就在入口附近 你们是服务生吗? [12:19.80]Aren't you here to waitress? [12:23.20]We go to restaurants. We don't work in them. 我们会到餐厅吃饭 但我们不在那里工作 [12:24.20]-Where's Richard? -Richard? He isn't here. -理查在哪里? -理查不在这里 [12:29.36]l've got the house this weekend. 这个周末我借用了他的房子 [12:32.16]对不起，你们要去哪里? [12:33.40]Excuse me. Where are you going? [12:35.80]Richard told us we could hang by the pool whenever. 理查说我们随时都能过来游泳 [12:37.60]You can't pool-hang today. l'm having a party at 3:00. 今天不行，三点我要办派对 [12:42.76]-We'll be fried by then. -l have no cell reception at all. -到时候我们就走了 -我的手机收不到讯号 [13:02.32]Miranda brought the kid. Don't say anything. 米兰达带宝宝来，什么都别说 [13:06.12]l know you didn't want babies, but he's in Ralph Lauren... 我知道你不喜欢宝宝 他穿劳夫罗伦的衣服 [13:08.60]and l stuck a cork up his ass, so it'll be okay. 我把他的屁股塞起来了 [13:12.20]This is supposed to be an A-list party. 这应该是个超级棒的派对 [13:15.28]Then who's the Double-D list by the pool? 游泳池的波霸是谁? [13:20.16]They won't leave. They say Richard lets them hang out here on weekends. 她们不肯离开，还说理查答应 让她们过来，白吃白喝的家伙 [13:24.60]-Fucking freeloaders. -People in glass houses.... -住在玻璃屋的家伙… -我没有白吃白喝 [13:27.32]l am not freeloading. l went through a lot with Richard. [13:28.80]我和他经历了很多事 不结婚的人应该得到奖励 [13:32.60]And people should be rewarded for not getting married as well. [13:35.36]l don't know why you broke up with him. 我不知道你们为什么要分手 [13:37.76]What's a little lying and cheating compared to a pool with a little cabana? 不忠跟欺骗比起游泳池别墅 又算什么? [13:39.60]Did you say ''no babies,'' or ''no boobies''? 你是不准宝宝来 还是不准波霸来? [13:47.96]Lady? And Brady? 波霸跟布莱迪都不能来 [13:54.12]That is so inappropriate. -那真的是太没水准了 -来自矽谷的问候 [13:56.00]-Greetings from Silicone Valley. -People can hear you. [14:01.68]What, like everyone here can't see those tits are fake? 大家都听到了 [14:02.92]没有人看得出来 她们的咪咪是假的吗? [14:03.08]-Everyone can see those tits are fake. -Would you stop saying ''tits''? [14:04.56]别再说“咪咪”了 [14:09.64]Why are you wearing that shirt? Tropical shirts are out. 你为什么要穿那件T恤? 热带风味的T恤不流行了 [14:11.32]This is not tropical. lt's Tiki. 这不是热带风味的T恤 这是大溪地代表服装 [14:14.60]-Well, please Tiki it off. -l thought you'd never ask. -请把它脱掉 -我还以为你永远都不会问我 [14:22.48]Oh, my God! Your back! 你的背都红了 你一定对除毛剂严重过敏 [14:25.76]You must've had a bad reaction to the waxing. [14:26.24]Yeah, l thought it felt a little itchy. 我觉得有点痒 [14:30.64]Suddenly a little hair isn't looking so bad? 突然间长点毛也不算太糟糕 [14:34.32]Carrie, woman to woman, the sex is amazing. 凯莉，这是女人间的谈话 性太美好了 [14:39.28]l've never had a man make me feel this way. 从来没有男人 能让我有那种感觉 [14:40.28]Hush, Miss Scarlett, how you do go on. 别说了，辣妹 你怎么能继续… [14:54.40]Well, who ordered the Adonis? 谁订了美男子? [14:58.04]Bobby, Bitsy, this is my boyfriend, Marcus. 巴比，贝西 他是我男朋友马可斯 [14:60.52]For God's sake, man, get yourself to a gym once in a while. 天啊，快去健身房吧 [15:02.84]Look at that body. lt's disgusting! 看看你的身体，太恶心了 [15:06.28]Wow! l could grate cheese on your abs. 我从你的小腹可以捏出起司来 [15:12.36]One large pizza, and hold the salami. 一份大披萨，不要意大利腊肠 [15:16.72]Please, put a shirt on before l marry you. 在我跟你结婚前 麻烦你穿上衬衫 [15:22.44]No! l haven't touched a carbohydrate in three months. 我三个月没碰过碳水化合物了 [15:23.60]-l've got to fit into that dress. -Please eat something. -我得塞进那件婚纱里 -吃点东西吧 [15:26.60]Would you look at her? She's ltsy-Bitsy. 看看她，她就是风骚贝西 [15:30.28]Bobby, l see the Talcotts. We've got to say hello. 我来找塔柯特 顺道来打招呼，明天见 [15:33.72]-See you all tomorrow. -Bye. [15:43.76]l swear, and l'm totally serious, l almost fainted... 我是认真的 [15:47.68]when he mimed grated cheese on Marcus. 他说他可以从马可斯肚子上 挤出起司时我差点昏倒 [15:51.44]lt is so obvious that he wanted him. 很明显地他要他 [15:53.40]Try to keep up. Bobby is straight. 清醒一点，巴比是异性恋 [15:56.88]-Right. -What is she doing? -她在做什么? -或许他会逗她笑 [16:01.40]Maybe he just makes her laugh. [16:05.44]Can't you wait till we sit down to eat? lt's so crass. 你不能坐下再吃吗? 那真的很不文雅 [16:09.80]Question. ls there anything about me today that doesn't bug you? 我今天有什么地方 能让你看得顺眼? [16:13.44]People are trying to eat. You should have your shirt on. 大家都在吃东西 你该把T恤穿上 [16:16.72]And you have sauce on your face. 你的脸沾到了酱汁 [16:19.96]Now so do you. 你也一样 [16:21.32]Why did she need to tell me the sex was amazing? 为什么她要告诉我 他们的性生活很美满? [16:24.96]Because it is amazing. 那很神奇，她讶异于 他不必用小鸡鸡就能硬起来 [16:28.52]She's amazed he's able to get hard without another penis in the room. [16:32.12]And speaking of dicks, do you think... 说到小鸡鸡 [16:34.80]Richard slept with any of those cocoa-butter bitches? 你认为理查 跟那些臭女人上床过吗? [16:36.88]No! l'm sure they're just good friends. 不，我相信他们只是好朋友 [16:40.72]柏格 [16:42.84]-God! How do l look? -You look great. -我看起来怎么样? -非常好 [16:44.60]-Jesus! Where's a mirror? -Here. -镜子在哪里? -这里 [16:48.00]Great. 太棒了 [16:52.76]All right, put it down. lt's okay. Thanks for having a party. 好吧，把它放下 谢谢你办了派对 [16:59.64]-How long have you had a house here? -Three years. -你买房子几年了? -三年 [17:01.32]Moments Iater, among the butterfIies, I feIt butterfIies. 不久后在蝴蝶的飞舞之间 我也有了心动的感觉 [17:04.32]There's a really nice garden. 花园很漂亮 [17:08.28]-So, you garden? -No. l have been known to hoe... -你的花园吗? -不，我对拿锄头的事不在行 [17:11.56]but my ex actually planted the garden so we could enjoy fresh summer salads. 我的前女友把花园料理得很好 希望夏天能吃到新鲜沙拉 [17:14.64]We didn't quite make it to the summer. 但我们撑不到夏天 [17:16.64]So it's more fresh pain than fresh vegetables. 只留下了痛苦的记忆 我甚至没办法走到花园去 [17:20.52]Yeah. l can't really go out there. [17:22.80]l know how you feel. When l broke up with my ex... 我了解你的感觉 我跟前男友分手时 [17:26.68]l couldn't bring myself to go within six blocks... 没办法走进 他家具店附近的六个街区内 [17:28.64]-of his furniture store. -When did you two break up? -你们何时分手的? -去年第二次分手 [17:32.36]Last year, for the second time. [17:33.72]We broke up the first time the year before that. 前年第一次分手 [17:35.60]You broke up twice. Way to go. 你们分手两次，太棒了 [17:39.20]Yeah, well, we hadn't sufficiently hurt each other enough the first time round. 第一次我们伤彼此还伤得不够 [17:43.48]But we definitely took care of business this time. 这次我们是一刀两断 因为他搬过来跟我住 [17:44.08]Because this time, he moved in, so we had the merging of the things... [17:47.44]我们一起买了很多东西 所以也必须把东西分清楚 [17:51.20]-Right. -...the dividing of the things... [17:52.80]the things that are left behind that you don't want to return... 你不愿意归还剩下的东西 因为那么做太心痛了 [17:55.92]because that seems mean, and you don't want to throw them away... [17:56.20]你不想把它们丢掉 那是你仅剩的回忆 [17:57.00]because it's all you have left. lt gets harder as we get older... [18:00.96]because we're not dating wildly inappropriate people anymore. 年纪越大做起来越难 我们不会跟不合适的人约会 [18:04.12]-You know, there's no ''Glad that's over.'' -Right. 根本没有 “还好分手了”这回事 [18:08.92]After every breakup l tell myself l'm not doing this again. 每次分手后 我告诉自己我不会再这么做 [18:11.28]lt's too hard. l mean, how many of these things can one person survive? 那太难了 人可以承受多少这样的打击? [18:17.76]You know, they should institute a helmet law for relationships. 应该立法规定 谈恋爱要戴安全帽 [18:20.32]-Right. That's excellently put. -Thank you. -对，说得好 -谢谢你 [18:30.60]l should get going. 我该走了 [18:32.16]lt's going to take me six hours to drive the two miles home, so.... 我要骑六小时的车 才能回到两哩外的家 [18:39.24]-My jacket. -Sorry. 我的外套 [18:44.88]-Gee. l hope there aren't grass stains. -No. lt's old. -希望没有沾到草汁 -这是件旧外套 [18:52.68]-Okay, bye. -Bye. -好吧，再见 -再见 [18:54.16]The man couId not get away from me fast enough. 他飞快地逃走 [18:57.32]ApparentIy, it's a short road from commisery to misery. 很明显地共鸣跟可怕 只有一线之隔 [19:01.12]Are you okay? 你没事吧? [19:18.36]Perfect! Everything's going out right on time. 很好，一切都很顺利 [19:22.08]There's no Tab in here. 这里没有标签 [19:25.64]-What are you doing in my refrigerator? -lt's Richard's refrigerator. 你们开我的冰箱做什么? [19:27.24]l stocked it. -这是理查的冰箱 -食物是我买的 [19:29.00]Did you see any Rice Krispie treats? Richard usually leaves those around for us. 你看到米果了吗? 理查都会留米果给我们吃 [19:34.20]No, l didn't. 不，我没看到 [19:37.08]And those lemons are for the drinks. Drinks l paid for. 那些柠檬是调饮料用的 而饮料是我买的 [19:41.48]-Whatever. -And l also paid for the food. -随便你 -食物也是我买的 [19:44.24]The only thing at this party that you two actually paid for are your breasts! 你们两个对这个派对 唯一的贡献就是露出咪咪 [19:48.24]Jealous? -你嫉妒吗? -对，我非常嫉妒 [19:51.68]Yes. l'm jealous. [19:54.16]l'm just dying to look like this. 我好希望自己也能长这样 [19:58.04]Maybe if you did, you'd be out here with Richard. 如果你真的能长那样 你就会跟理查在一起 [20:03.16]Snap! 说得好 [20:17.72]EvidentIy, peopIe who borrow gIass houses shouIdn't throw cantaIoupes. 很明显地借用玻璃屋的人 不该乱丢甜瓜 [20:23.32]The next morning, whiIe Stanford and Marcus had Brady... 隔天早上史丹佛跟马可斯 帮忙照顾布莱迪 [20:26.76]Miranda and I had brunch. 米兰达跟我共进早午餐 [20:28.36]-How about these muffins? -How about these eggs? -这些松饼好吃吗? -蛋美味极了 [20:30.84]-How about these napkins? -How about these plates? -餐巾很棒 -盘子也不错 [20:34.04]How about we marry gay guys? -我们何不嫁给男同性恋? -现在我别无选择 [20:33.92]How about maybe now l won't have a choice? [20:38.44]-Was it really that bad? -Bye-bye, Berger. -真的有那么糟糕吗? -前一分钟我们还在笑 [20:40.12]One minute we were laughing, the next minute... 下一分钟他飞快地逃走 我还可以指出他滑倒的痕迹 [20:42.68]he had to get away from me so fast, he left skidmarks. [20:43.96]-Seriously. l can show them to you. -Jam, please. [20:45.68]麻烦把果酱递给我 [20:49.92]l know what l did. l revealed too much, too soon. 我知道我做了什么 [20:52.52]我太快跟他说出心中事 我不擅处理情感问题 [20:54.40]-l was emotionally slutty. -That's not like you. [20:56.48]lt wasn't me. lt was the zsa zsa zsu. lt makes me crazy. 那跟真正的你不同 我想要心动的感觉想疯了 [20:59.16]Bitsy Von Muffling Fine may have the right idea. 贝西冯马芬林范或许做对了 [21:01.36]Maybe we should stop looking for a great relationship... 我们该停止寻找完美的第一名 只要找第二名就好了 [21:07.56]and settle for a fine one. [21:08.80]l'd marry Steve in a second if he were gay. 如果史蒂夫是同性恋 我一定要嫁给他 [21:13.68]-Everything would be so easy. -So, a gay area... 一切将会变得很容易 [21:17.36]-is better than a gray area? -Yeah. 他是同性恋 比你们处在灰色地带好? [21:18.60]More coffee. You want some? 对，我还要咖啡，你呢? [21:23.64]-Great coffee. -Tell me something l don't know. -咖啡很不错 -说些我不知道的事 [21:28.08]-What? -You did it, Stany. -什么? -你办到了，史丹尼 [21:31.08]Great man, great house, great relationship. 你事业成功，住在大房子里 还有一段天赐良缘 [21:35.76]We've all been looking, and you actually found it. 我们一直都在寻找这些东西 而你找到了 [21:40.04]Marcus and l haven't had sex since we bought the Cynthia Rowley china. 马可斯跟我买下 辛西雅罗莉瓷器后就没做过爱 [21:45.52]Thank God! l am so relieved. 谢天谢地，我松了一口气 [21:49.48]Bitsy Von Muffling, the first time l saw you, l fell in love. 贝西冯马芬林 我一眼看到你就爱上了你 [21:54.36]You walked in wearing that red vintage Dior. 你穿着那套酒红色的迪奥礼服 [21:56.36]Pink elephant in the room. 房间里出现了粉红象 [21:59.96]Do you mind? l am listening to the bride and bride. 抱歉，我在听新娘跟新娘说话 [22:04.20]My dear Bobby Fine.... 亲爱的巴比范 [22:07.16]Something tells me Bitsy isn't doing ''Fine.'' 我觉得 贝西不会冠上范这个夫姓 [22:09.56]And that's the little piece of information she's been Von Muffling. 她姓冯马芬林真的很不适合 [22:14.36]You are there for me in the morning, and there for me at night... 早上你等着我 [22:17.60]晚上你也等着我 不论好坏你都等着我 [22:17.24]there in the good, there in the bad... [22:23.32]there in my thoughts, there in my dreams... 你在我的脑海里 [22:25.48]你在我的梦里 [22:26.36]but most of all, my darling, you are there in my heart... 但亲爱的，最重要的是 你永远都在我的心里 [22:31.52]forever. 或许我们太挑剔了 [22:33.32]Perhaps we were aII much too cynicaI. [22:35.92]Perhaps, somehow, despite the odds... 或许巴比跟贝西找到了真爱 [22:37.08]Bobby and Bitsy had found something reaI. [22:41.76]l now pronounce you husband and wife. 我宣布你们成为夫妻 你可以吻新娘了 [22:45.04]You may kiss the bride. [22:52.64]One more time, for the cheap seats at the back. 再一次，算是给坐在廉价后座 的客人优待 [23:22.96]Looks like somebody over here is about to dance. 有人要跳舞了 [23:26.40]l think you may have sold this one a little short. -我想你或许小看他了 -我也是 [23:31.36]Me, too. [23:31.48]With a little time and the right astringents, who knows? 假以时日好好地调教一下… [23:35.44]There's nothing on my face, nothing in my teeth. 我的脸上跟齿缝都没有东西 [23:38.16]l'm sure you'll hate my moves on the dance floor... 你会讨厌我的舞姿 [23:41.52]but that is the risk that every man must take. 但男人必须冒这个险 [23:48.36]What a beautiful night. 这真是美好的一晚 [23:50.04]lt's too bad l blew my only chance at a boyfriend this year. 真糟糕 我把年度最佳男友吓跑了 [23:54.56]You want to hold my boyfriend? 你要抱抱我男朋友吗? [23:57.32]l think l'm going to drown my sorrows in another piece of cake. 我想再吃块蛋糕 治疗我的伤痛 [24:01.72]And if anybody asks, l had two, not three. 有人问起你 说我吃了两块蛋糕就行了 [24:15.72]You smell that, Brady? lt's lilac. 你闻到了吗?布莱迪 那是紫丁香的味道 [24:24.08]Should we call Daddy and tell him we miss him? 我们该打电话告诉爸爸 我们很想他吗? [24:34.52]It's me, Steve. I'm not here. Leave a message. 我是史蒂夫，现在不在家 请留话 [25:01.72]Do you believe this wedding? 你相信这场婚礼吗? [25:04.72]Funny where life has taken us. 命运真是在捉弄我们 [25:07.52]l remember when we went to these things just for the free food. 我还记得参加婚礼 是为了免费大吃一顿的时光 [25:10.68]l have dinner rolls in my purse. 我在皮包里藏了春卷 [25:15.16]There's my song. 这是我的歌 [25:19.16]And there's my girl... 这是我的女人 [25:24.40]whom l love. 我爱她 [25:25.40]-ln case you had any money riding on it. -Not a penny. 如果你怀疑的话 [25:27.20]我一点都不怀疑 [25:42.16]Look out, she's got a piece of fruit, and she's not afraid to throw it. 小心，她手里拿着水果 她真的会用它来扔人 [25:46.96]-Can we not talk about that? -Okay. 我们能不能别谈那件事? [25:49.32]But we'll be the only ones here. 好吧，我们是唯一的单身人士 [25:53.92]Look, l'm just glad Brady wasn't the biggest baby at the party. 我很高兴 布莱迪不是派对上最幼稚的人 [25:57.28]l guess l went a little crazy, being at Richard's house... 待在理查的房子里 让我有点抓狂 [26:01.36]around his party-crashing pussy posse. 加上他的波霸女友来白吃白喝 [26:04.16]What do you call zsa zsa zsu gone bad? 心动的感觉变坏了 到底是什么样的感觉? [26:09.32]Zsa zsa eww. 是心痛的感觉 [26:19.60]Then I feII in Iove with the most wonderfuI boy in the worId 我爱上全世界最棒的男人 [26:23.56]-Bitsy, honey, everything was perfect. -lt was. -贝西，一切都很完美 -没错 [26:25.04]Except for the dessert. The top layer of the crème brulée just wasn't hard enough. 甜点除外，上层奶油太软 [26:30.48]Yeah, that's the problem with this wedding. The crème brulée isn't hard enough. 这场婚礼的问题 在于奶油太软 [26:35.68]And then one day, he went away, and I thought I wouId die (有一天他离开了 我以为我会死掉，但我没有) [26:40.72]But I didn't [26:42.04]And when I didn't, I said to myseIf (活下来的我对自己说 这就是爱吗?) [26:47.04]Is aII that there is to Iife? [26:48.48]l'm not technically crashing. 技术上来说我不是凑巧出现 [26:51.00]l was having lunch in town today and for some reason the groom invited me. 今天我在城里吃午餐 新郎邀请我来参加婚礼 [26:58.52]Shall we? 我们可以跳只舞吗? [26:60.92]Sure. [27:08.60]What? Now you want me to wax my eyebrows? -哈利 -你要我除掉眉毛? [27:09.76]l think l may be falling in love with you. 我想或许我爱上你了 [27:12.12]l've been falling for you since the moment we met. 我从第一眼见到你就爱上了你 [27:17.44]-But l never thought-- -What? -但我从来没想到… -什么? [27:19.88]Come on, you could have any blue-blooded guy here. 你可以跟上流社会的人交往 我… [27:21.92]-l'm-- -You're wonderful. 你很棒 [27:24.16]And Jewish. 我是犹太人 [27:26.68]So? -所以呢? -我们会有什么结局? [27:28.76]So, where can this go? [27:30.72]l don't know. 我不知道，我们走着瞧吧 [27:34.32]Let's find out. [27:34.60]夏绿蒂我必须跟犹太人结婚 [27:38.48]l have to marry a Jew. [27:40.08]She can marry a gay guy, and you can't marry an Episcopalian? 她可以嫁给男同性恋 你不能娶圣公会教徒? [27:49.96]What do we do now? -现在我们该怎么办? -我不知道 [27:49.80]l don't know. Dance? [27:51.24]跳舞吧 [27:53.80]ApparentIy, CharIotte had a zsa zsa Jew. 很明显地 夏绿蒂对犹太人动了心 [28:05.36]-You're awful quiet. -And l intend to stay that way. 你真的好安静 [28:05.12]-我打算保持那样子 -不 [28:07.40]No. You were fine. 你很棒，我只是不确定 我能不能再爱一次 [28:10.40]l just wasn't sure if l was up for all that again. [28:13.60]-Then l thought.... -Then you thought what? 于是我心想… [28:15.64]你想到了什么? [28:18.76]Maybe we should go out on a date before we break up. 或许我们该在分手前约会一次 [28:35.88]When it comes to reIationships... 说到爱情 [28:37.64]maybe we're aII in gIass houses and shouIdn't throw stones. 或许我们都住在玻璃屋里 不该乱丢石头 [28:40.20]Because you can never reaIIy know. 谁都无法知道答案 [28:42.72]Some peopIe are settIing down. 有些人能安定下来 [28:46.28]Some peopIe are settIing. 有些人妥协了 [28:49.60]And some peopIe refuse to settIe for anything Iess... 有些人拒绝妥协于安定 [28:55.52]than butterfIies. 他们仍在找心动的感觉

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