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欲望都市第六季 祸不单行 The Post-It Always Sticks Twice

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[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:50:54

[00:02.00]听美剧学英语(MP3+LRC)

[00:13.88]欲望城市

[00:35.52](性爱专家凯莉布雷萧 并且勇于发问)

[00:44.08]“祸不单行”

[00:50.32]New York City is a great pIace to be engaged. 纽约市是个适合订婚的好地方

[00:58.68]Miss? -小姐 -抱歉,你要搭计程车吗?

[01:01.36]l'm sorry. Did you want this cab?

[01:03.68]-Why, thank you. -Sure. -谢谢 -别客气

[01:09.84]And it's an even better pIace to be enraged. 它也是个令人愤怒的地方

[01:15.48]You're so busy! 你真的那么忙吗?

[01:33.00]-Boy, do l have news. -So do l. -天啊,我有事要告诉你们 -我也是

[01:34.28]l didn't want to say anything until we were all together... 我希望等大家到了后再说 哈利跟我定下来了

[01:37.44]but Harry and l made up and he asked me to marry him.

[01:41.36]-Oh, my God. Congratulations! -That's great. -他跟我求婚 -我的天啊

[01:43.60]-恭喜 -看看那枚戒指

[01:44.20]Look at that ring.

[01:46.92]l know. He had it made based on the one that Richard Burton gave Elizabeth Taylor. 我知道,他根据李察波顿送给 伊丽莎白泰勒的戒指订做的

[01:49.28]Well, it is fabulous. 真的好漂亮

[01:54.24]Even more fabulous than your first one. 比你第一枚订婚戒指还漂亮

[01:57.44]So, Carrie, what was your news? 你有什么事要告诉我们?

[02:00.32]Berger broke up with me on a Post-it. 柏格用便利贴跟我分手

[02:03.80]On a Post-it? 便利贴?

[02:05.76]Yep. Read it and weep, my friends.

[02:09.16]你们看了一定会哭

[02:09.64]''l'm sorry. l can't. Don't hate me.'' “抱歉,我办不到,别恨我” 那个没良心的混蛋

[02:15.04]The motherfucker's concise.

[02:15.20]l thought you were going to break up with him. -你跟他提过分手 -我该坚持的

[02:18.00]Yeah, l was, and l should have...

[02:18.92]but he said that he wanted to try to work things out: 但他说他希望“重新来过”

[02:24.48]a.k.a. leave in the middle of the night. 结果他半夜落跑

[02:26.64]A Post-it. That's infuriating. 用便利贴?太过分了

[02:28.92]l remember when breaking up over the phone was considered bad form. 用电话分手就已经够过分了

[02:33.24]l once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. 我以前有个男朋友 叫门房传话跟我分手

[02:36.68]''l'm sorry, Miss Hobbes. Jonathan won't be coming down, ever.'' “抱歉,霍布斯小姐 强纳森永远都不会下楼”

[02:39.20]l miss having a doorman. -我想念跟门房胡搞的日子 -你要打电话给他吗?

[02:42.56]-Are you gonna call him? -No.

[02:46.32]l am not going to dignify his behavior with a response. 不,我不会跟他吵 让他觉得自己的决定是对的

[02:48.36]l am not even going to leave him... 我甚至不会在他的答录机 愤怒地指责他

[02:50.00]one of those angry answering machine messages.

[02:52.72]''Hi, it's me. You're a dick!'' “是我,你是个王八蛋”

[02:56.88]But it sure felt good saying it right now, even to you. 即使是在你们面前 光这么说我就觉得出了口气

[02:58.24]That's what we're here for. -谁叫我们是你的朋友呢 -我很遗憾

[03:01.36]-l'm sorry. -Yeah, l'm sorry, too. 我也很遗憾 谈感情根本是在浪费时间

[03:02.64]That relationship was a complete waste of time.

[03:07.52]lt's never a complete waste of time. 才不是那样 你应该可以学到教训

[03:07.88]Even in the worst relationship, you always learn something.

[03:10.48]You might not wanna say that to a woman carrying a loaded Post-it. 别对拿到便利贴 分手字条的女人那么说

[03:14.40]But everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know what it is yet. 凡事天注定 虽然现在你不知道原因

[03:17.64]That's such bullshit. -那是在胡扯 -才怪,看看我

[03:20.64]lt's not. Look at me.

[03:23.24]lf l had never married Trey, then l never would have gotten divorced... 如果我没有嫁给崔 我就不会离婚

[03:27.40]and l would have never met my divorce lawyer, Harry... 我不会认识我的离婚律师哈利 现在我不可能订婚

[03:29.96]and l wouldn't be engaged now.

[03:36.76]Paper covers rock. 你还是安慰不了我

[03:39.52]Maybe everything does happen for a reason. 或许凡事天注定

[03:40.24]lf Berger hadn't left me... 要不是柏格 用这么卑劣的手法跟我分手

[03:43.40]in the most horrible way anyone could ever imagine...

[03:45.60]l wouldn't be free to walk you to your hair appointment. 我不会有空陪你去弄头发

[03:48.76]We're all being protected by the universe. 命运早就决定好了一切

[03:50.44]When it comes to men, you may have had it right all along. 你对男人的看法是对的 别爱上他们就不会伤心

[03:52.76]Keep it light. Don't get too involved. Don't get too hurt.

[03:57.40]Exactly. lf you're never someone's girlfriend, you can never be someone's ex-girlfriend. 没错,没当过某人的女朋友 你就不会是他的前女友

[04:00.52]You know what? 我不会再为那个薄情郎

[04:02.76]l'm gonna spend as much time mourning this relationship...

[04:05.48]as he spent ending it. 感到难过了

[04:10.04]Okay, l'm over it. 我已经忘了他,今晚去玩吧 我们可以去哪里?

[04:12.52]Let's go somewhere fantastic tonight and have a fantastic time.

[04:13.72]What can we do that would be fantastic?

[04:16.12]l know. l'm taking you to Bed. -我知道了,我们去“上床” -我没有那么恨男人

[04:21.28]l'm not that off men.

[04:20.48]No, Bed. lt's a new club opening tonight. “上床”是今晚 开幕的新俱乐部,我们一起去

[04:24.24]We'll all go. l think l have the invitation. 我应该有邀请函

[04:27.80]Listen to me being all hurt. 你跟那么多男人分手 现在还是很快乐

[04:30.52]Look how many men have broken up with you, and you're fine.

[04:33.72]我们去“上床”吧

[04:39.56]PeopIe say everything happens for a reason. 有人说凡事天注定

[04:42.44]These peopIe are usuaIIy women. 这些人通常是

[04:43.44]And these women are usuaIIy sorting through a break-up. 经历分手悲痛的女人

[04:47.32]It seems that men can get out of a reIationship without even a goodbye. 男人可以不说再见就离开

[04:52.60]But apparentIy, women have to either get married... 女人不是结婚,就是得到教训

[04:55.64]or Iearn something.

[04:56.84]Why are we in such a rush to move from confused to Confucius? 为什么我们要急着 从混乱中找到启示呢?

[05:03.72]Do we search for Iessons to Iessen the pain? 我们得寻找教训 来减轻心里的悲伤吗?

[05:07.40]MeanwhiIe, Samantha was at home dressing a man, for a change. 同时莎曼珊改变做法 在家里帮一个男人打扮

[05:11.96]l called some designers and l told them that the Absolut Hunk... 我跟一些设计师说绝对猛男

[05:13.04]was going to do TRL on MTV, and they jumped ASAP. 要参加MTV的“现场点歌” 他们都跳了起来

[05:18.40]Gucci, YSL, D&G. Take your pick. 古驰、圣罗兰、杜嘉班纳 随便你挑

[05:24.28]You know, l'm not really comfortable wearing labels. 我不习惯穿名牌衣服

[05:26.68]lf it's okay with you, l thought l'd just wear some jeans and this. 如果你同意的话 我想穿牛仔裤跟这个

[05:30.28]That'll work, too. 那也可以 你看起来一定会迷死

[05:33.12]You are going to be the fantasy of every adolescent girl...

[05:37.20]and sexually confused boy in America. 美国所有少女跟少年男同志

[05:40.68]How'd l get hooked up with such an amazing girlfriend? 我怎么会 有你这么棒的女朋友?

[05:45.48]And that was a IabeI Samantha wasn't comfortabIe wearing. 莎曼珊不喜欢 别人那样子称呼她

[05:49.88]You should get ready. The car will be here any minute. 快去准备,车子随时会到

[05:52.04]-You sure you can't come? -l can't. l promised Carrie and the girls. -你真的没办法去? -我答应了我的朋友

[05:54.08]But l will catch the replay tonight. -我会看今晚的重播 -我晚一点能打电话给你吗?

[05:58.76]-Should l hook up with you later? -No.

[06:02.68]Go out with the MTV crowd and have fun. 跟现场观众出去好好玩吧

[06:03.68]You're the Absolut Hunk. Work it. 你是绝对猛男,加油

[06:07.24]And as your publicist, let me just say... 身为你的公关,我得提醒你

[06:12.72]calling someone your girlfriend isn't a good idea right now. 你最好别说你有女朋友

[06:16.16]-Someone, or you? -Either way. -连你都不行? -没错

[06:18.36]So when anyone asks if you have a girlfriend... 如果有人问你有没有女朋友

[06:23.64]you should say you are still looking and haven't found anyone special yet. 你得说 你还没有找到你的真命天女

[06:28.04]-That's what you want? -That's what l want. -你要我那么说? -没错

[06:34.80]But l do insist you top up that tank with some Dior sunglasses. 但我坚持 你得戴上迪奥的太阳眼镜

[06:38.84]lt's MTV. lf you're not wearing something the kids can't afford... 如果你不用些 小鬼们买不起的东西

[06:43.60]how will they know to look up to you? 他们要怎么 以你为奋斗的榜样?

[06:45.40]There. Much better. 这样子好多了

[06:50.40]That night, as CharIotte was deciding what to wear... 夏绿蒂在挑衣服

[06:54.36]she noticed that everything went with her new engagement ring... 她发现每件衣服 都能搭配她的钻戒

[06:56.36]except her oId wedding dress. 她的旧婚纱除外

[07:02.80]MeanwhiIe, in another cIoset.... 同时另一个人也在挑衣服…

[07:06.16]l don't think l can go. l'm not feeling so hot. 我没办法去 我真的提不起劲

[07:09.28]-Are you sick? -No, I mean, IiteraIIy. -你生病了吗? -不,我是说我丑毙了

[07:11.48]Openings of hot new clubs are for hot, childless people. 新俱乐部的开幕日 只适合没孩子的俊男美女们

[07:13.36]l'm not even one of the hot mommies at Mommy & Me. 连在妈妈教室 我都称不上是个辣妈

[07:18.32]l don't want to have to resort to this. 我不想这么做 若有需要我会用失恋去威胁你

[07:18.12]But if l have to, l will play the Post-it card.

[07:21.56]Just explain to me why l have to leave my house to go to Bed. 告诉我为什么我要去“上床”

[07:25.56]Because this can't be the day that l was broken up with by a Post-it. 今天我被人用一张便利贴甩了

[07:30.56]This has to be the day that something else happened. 但我相信一定会发生一些好事

[07:34.92]How about the day your friend discovered... 今天我发现 我的衣服上全沾了口水

[07:36.92]all her clothes are covered in spit-up?

[07:36.100]You are going. No excuses. -你非去不可,别找藉口 -好吧

[07:41.16]Okay.

[07:45.68]And speaking of no excuses, there they were.: her skinny jeans. 说到藉口 她发现了她的紧身牛仔裤

[07:49.80]The jeans every woman keeps in the vain hope... 每个女人都会留着这些牛仔裤 希望有一天能再穿上它们

[07:51.60]that someday she'II fit into them again.

[08:14.48]-My God, what are you doing here? -No, you did not come to this club!

[08:18.96]Ladies, this is a miracle. 小姐们,这是个奇迹 我穿上了紧身牛仔裤

[08:20.16]l am in my skinny jeans.

[08:23.12]l haven't fit into these since 1985... 1985年后我就无法穿上它 那是因为我出现了感染

[08:26.92]and that is only because l had mono.

[08:30.16]Miranda, l've never noticed before, but you've got one hot ass. 我一直没有发现

[08:30.80]-你的屁股美呆了 -真的吗?

[08:34.68]-Really? -Yeah! -你看起来很漂亮 -你是怎么办到的?

[08:36.76]-And you look good. -How'd you do it?

[08:37.36]l got pregnant, became a single mother, and stopped having any time to eat. 我成了单亲妈妈,没空吃东西

[08:41.40]That's a diet l won't be trying. -我不会用那种方法减肥 -我不敢相信我能穿上它

[08:42.100]l can't believe l am in my skinny jeans. l am never taking them off.

[08:47.40]Charlotte, can l wear these to your wedding? 我永远都不会脱掉它 我能穿着它参加你的婚礼吗?

[08:51.84]-l'm kidding. -No, it's just.... -我是在开玩笑 -那只是…

[08:52.76]l just feel kind of silly that l made such a big fuss about my ring earlier. 我觉得 我不该跟你们炫耀我的戒指

[08:58.00]Honey, a diamond that big deserves a parade. 能拿到那么大的钻戒 你应该上街去游行

[08:60.48]But this is the second time around. 但这是我第二次结婚 我办过盛大婚礼,你们都去了

[09:02.08]l already did the showing of the ring and the big wedding. You were there.

[09:05.04]lt was lovely. 它真的很棒

[09:08.04]So this time... 我决定 这次要办个精致有品味的婚礼

[09:09.96]l've decided that it should just be really small and tasteful.

[09:12.80]-So no denim? -Right. -我不能穿牛仔裤去? -没错

[09:14.32]And l don't want to disappoint you: 我不想让你们失望 但我决定不请伴娘

[09:16.72]l've decided not to have bridesmaids.

[09:22.48]Hallelujah! -哈利路亚 -我们去“上床”吧

[09:24.16]Okay, let's go to Bed.

[09:26.56]What do you want, dear?

[09:29.24]Since peopIe often go to bars to try to get someone into bed... 人们常到酒吧寻找上床的对象

[09:33.08]it was onIy a matter of time tiII someone cut out the middIeman... 迟早会有人把床搬进酒吧里

[09:36.00]and put the beds in bars.

[09:39.16]Now this is my kind of place. -这个地方太适合我了 -我以为他们只是说说而已

[09:40.68]And l thought they were being ironic.

[09:42.96]lf l had known it was gonna be like this, l would have brought my bite guard. 早知道这里是这个样子 我会带牙套来

[09:50.80]-Bed for four, please. -All the beds are booked right now. -我们一共四个人 -所有的床已经被订走了

[09:53.40]Damn, that always happens to me. -该死,我老遇上这种事 -我是贵宾,莎曼珊琼斯

[09:55.28]We're on the VlP list. Samantha Jones.

[09:58.56]Perfect. l'll be right back. 太棒了,我马上回来

[10:02.32]l have to find a bathroom. l need to pee. 我得去上洗手间,我要尿尿

[10:04.04]Really? Or do you just wanna stare at your ass in the mirror? 真的吗?还是你想照镜子 看看自己的屁股?

[10:09.28]Well, that, too. -我也会那么做 -摇一下屁股

[10:10.76]Shake it, sister.

[10:17.64]-We're ready. Follow me. -That was fast. -已经准备好了,请跟我来 -他们的动作真快

[10:20.52]What can l say, l know how to work it in Bed. 我该怎么说呢? 我的床上功夫一级棒

[10:31.16]-And l didn't even have to buy you dinner. -l'm sorry, someone pushed me. -我甚至不必请你吃晚餐 -有人推了我一把

[10:34.36]You want me to have them killed? -我该杀了他吗? -你会那么做吗?

[10:34.52]-Would you? -Just say when. -你只要告诉我什么时候 -什么时候

[10:36.24]-When. -Okay, l'm bluffing. -好吧,我是在吹牛 -我知道男人只剩一张嘴

[10:39.88]Yeah, l knew you were all talk.

[10:41.08]-Yeah. l'm Peter. -Miranda. -我是彼得 -米兰达

[10:46.84]And thank you for letting me crash. -谢谢你让我躺下来 -你为什么不留下来?

[10:47.04]Why don't you hang out?

[10:50.44]lt's not that often l have such a beautiful woman in bed with me. 我不是常常能跟美女躺在床上

[10:56.32]Okay, but move over. That's my side. 好吧,过去一点 我习惯躺在这边

[11:06.96]All the men in here seem kind of old. -这里的男人都好老 -那是因为你跟史密斯在交往

[11:07.44]-That's because you're dating Smith. -Who's basically a zygote.

[11:11.64]l'm not dating him, l'm fucking him. -他太幼齿了 -我没跟他交往,只跟他上床

[11:13.08]Now l'm looking for someone else to fuck. 现在我想找别人跟我上床

[11:17.88]Well, l think you may have come to the right place. 你来对地方了

[11:19.24]This place is awesome.

[11:23.32]Oh, no. lt's Berger's friend. -不,是柏格的朋友 -在哪里?

[11:25.40]-Where? -ln the next bed. 就在隔壁,天啊,我恨纽约 今晚没有其他俱乐部开幕吗?

[11:28.04]God, l hate New York. ls there no other club opening tonight?

[11:33.36]-What should l do? -lgnore them. -我该怎么办? -当做没看见

[11:34.76]No, l can't. lt'll get back to Berger that l acted childish. 不,话传回柏格那里 他会觉得我太孩子气了

[11:40.04]Just go over there and say hi. 去跟他们打招呼 装做你已经不在乎柏格了

[11:42.56]Act like Berger is the last thing on your mind.

[11:43.72]Right. l'll take the high road. 对,我要表现得很有风度

[11:47.72]l'll be calm, classy, and just say hello. 装做没事 有气质地跟他们打招呼

[11:53.64]-Billy, hi. -Hey, Carrie. -你好,比利 -凯莉

[12:01.24]-Hi, how are you? -Fucking great. -你好吗? -好得不得了

[12:01.60]Chris, Andrew, this is Berger's girlfriend, Carrie. 克里斯、安德鲁 她是柏格的女朋友凯莉

[12:05.28]ls Berger with you? 柏格跟你一起来吗?

[12:10.44]This is kind of uncomfortable... 我真的很不愿意这么说 但我们分手了

[12:14.16]but we broke up this morning.

[12:15.80]-是今天早上的事 -我真的很遗憾

[12:19.52]l'm sorry to hear that.

[12:21.92]Yeah, l knew you guys had all kinds of problems. 我听说你们有很多问题

[12:25.44]Yeah.

[12:30.44]And he was bad in bed. 他的床上功夫太烂了

[12:34.12]You look great, Billy. 你看起来棒极了,比利

[12:39.68]Did she just say he was bad in bed?

[12:41.08]You know that angry message l didn't wanna leave on Berger's machine? 我把不敢跟柏格说的话 告诉他的朋友了

[12:45.44]l just left it on his friend.

[12:45.96]-What happened? -l took the lowest possible road. -发生了什么事? -我表现得太没有风度了

[12:50.12]l told him Berger was bad in bed, which isn't even true. 我告诉他柏格在床上根本不行 但事实上不是那样的

[12:53.08]Two times! Don't you forget anything? 两次,你忘了吗?

[12:57.20]Why did you say that? -你为什么要那么说? -我不知道,我是脱口而出

[12:59.48]lt just came out.

[13:01.24]lt's understandable. You're suffering from Post-it traumatic stress syndrome. 你是得了 便利贴创伤后压力症候群

[13:03.04]l need to find a way to erase that message. -我得跟他们解释清楚 -快去吧

[13:06.40]Go back over there and explain.

[13:10.40]Just tell them you're hurt and that you didn't mean it. -就说你很伤心,不是故意的 -现在我得承认我很伤心?

[13:13.40]Great, now l have to admit that l'm hurt?

[13:14.80]First, a little nerve Clicquot. 先喝杯香槟消除紧张

[13:30.96]关于我刚刚说的事 那太可怕了,也不是真的

[13:33.48]That thing l said before... terrible and not true.

[13:36.64]He was fine in bed. Great, in fact. 他的床上功夫很不错 事实上他棒呆了

[13:40.72]Fireworks, rockets. 令我欲仙欲死

[13:44.28]l don't even know why l said that. 我不知道为什么我要那么说

[13:46.36]l'm hurt, okay? 我很伤心,好吗?

[13:50.64]Sure. Break-ups are tough. 当然,分手会让人很难过

[13:53.32]Yes, under normal circumstances they are tough. 在正常的情况下的确是那样 但这次我不只是难过

[13:58.04]And in this case, tougher.

[14:01.08]Look, l don't wanna drag you into this... 我不想把你扯进这件事来 但是…

[14:05.68]but Berger broke up with me on a Post-it. 柏格用便利贴跟我分手

[14:11.44]l know as Berger's friend you can't have a normal reaction... 我知道身为柏格的朋友 你不能表现得太愤怒

[14:17.12]but just so you know, the normal reaction has been.... 但正常的反应应该是这样的

[14:22.48]Not that l'm going around telling everyone, just some girlfriends. 我不是个广播电台 只跟一些朋友提起这件事

[14:26.36]You know, l'm trying to understand why someone would do that. 我想知道为什么会有人这么做

[14:32.44]-Well, maybe he was afraid. -lnteresting. How so? 或许他是害怕

[14:35.40]Women can get really angry. -真有趣,怎么会呢? -女人都会大发脾气

[14:36.80]l assure you, l would have been very understanding. 我跟你保证 我会表现出谅解的样子

[14:41.56]-Right. -Excuse me? -是啊 -你是什么意思?

[14:45.56]You all say that, but then you just freak and get all psycho-bitch. 女人都会那么说 但她们会抓狂变成疯婆子

[14:48.20]Really? 真的吗?所以那是我们的错

[14:50.08]So now it's our fault?

[14:54.00]All we're saying is there really is no good way... 我们认为 情人是无法好聚好散的

[14:55.44]to break up with someone, is there?

[14:59.44]lt's funny you should mention that, Billy, because actually, there is. 你会那么说真的太有趣了 比利,但你错了

[15:02.04]You can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman to her face... 你们应该勇敢而礼貌地

[15:04.24]当面告诉女人你不想再见到她

[15:06.80]that you no longer wanna see her.

[15:08.80]Call me crazy... 你可以说我疯了 但你们可以好好地说出分手

[15:10.48]but l think that you can make a point of ending your relationship...

[15:14.36]in a manner that does not include... 不必透过电子邮件、门房 或是无缘无故地失踪

[15:16.12]an e-mail, a doorman, or a missing persons report.

[15:18.20]l think you could all get over your fear of looking like the bad guy... 你们不该害怕当坏人

[15:23.80]and actually have the uncomfortable break-up conversation... 勇敢地跟另一半谈分手

[15:27.36]because here's what: 因为越想逃避 越会让女人觉得你是坏人

[15:30.76]Avoiding that is what makes you the bad guy.

[15:33.64]-And just so you know, Alan-- -Andrew. -你知道吗?亚伦 -是安德鲁

[15:35.00]Most women aren't angry, irrational psychos. 大部分的女人 不是愤怒不讲理的疯婆子

[15:39.52]We just want an ending to a relationship... 我们只想结束一段情

[15:41.60]that is thoughtful and decent... 那应该是体贴高雅的 还得尊重我们拥有过的一切

[15:46.68]and honors what we had together.

[15:49.76]So my point, Billy, is this: 比利,我认为情人间 的确可以好聚好散

[15:52.36]There is a good way to break up with someone...

[15:52.100]and it doesn't include a Post-it! 用便利贴分手太卑鄙了

[15:60.36]Okay. 好吧

[16:10.44]Much better. -那样子好多了 -真的吗?我们得离开这里

[16:10.04]You think? We have to get out of here immediately.

[16:17.68]So, what, you have a boyfriend? 怎么样?你有男朋友吗?

[16:21.24]-Me, no. -Right. -我吗?不 -是啊

[16:22.96]-l don't. -Come on, how's that possible? -我真的没有 -少来了,怎么可能?

[16:32.08]l have no idea. -我不知道 -我也不知道,你很性感

[16:32.20]Well, neither do l. You're hot.

[16:36.48]Hi, sorry. We're leaving. 抱歉,我们要离开了 我刚明白千万别带着怒气上床

[16:40.72]l just learned you should never go to Bed angry.

[16:43.24]Well.... 好吧

[16:46.88]很高兴能认识你

[16:50.88]-lt was really great meeting you. -lt was good to meet you. l'll see you. 我也是,后会有期

[16:56.48]-And thanks. -For what? -谢谢 -为什么?

[17:04.48]Okay, so l'm angry. So those guys will tell Berger that l'm angry. 我很生气,他们会告诉柏格 但我已经不在乎了

[17:08.28]l can live with that. 来吧,让我吸一口

[17:07.60]Come on, bro, give me a hit.

[17:10.44]You wanna pass that back?

[17:12.56]Be good, ladies.

[17:16.16]-Do you smell that? -Pot. -你闻到了吗? -是大麻

[17:18.40]-Let's get high. -l'd get high. -我们去爽一下 -我想爽一下

[17:21.28]Wait, are you serious? -你是认真的吗? -当然

[17:23.16]Yes, that's exactly what my mind needs: cloudiness. 现在的我 需要让脑袋变得一片空白

[17:28.36]l'm still too lucid on the facts of the day and night. 我对生活太认真了 我们上次抽大麻是什么时候?

[17:30.96]When was the last time you smoked pot?

[17:33.40]l think l was wearing these jeans. -那时我还穿着这件牛仔裤 -我不抽大麻

[17:34.100]-l'm not smoking pot. -Post-it.

[17:38.00]-是啊 -我们要去哪里弄大麻?

[17:39.60]How do we even get any? 我可以打电话给我的中盘 但他去度假了

[17:42.16]l'd call my dealer, but he's at the Cape.

[17:44.76]Damn those dealers and their summer houses. 去他的中盘跟别墅

[17:46.16]l'll ask those guys. 我去问那些家伙

[17:50.92]Excuse me, fellas. 对不起

[17:51.68]对不起

[17:59.40]My friends and l were wondering.... 我朋友跟我想问你们…

[18:03.88]l like her in those jeans. -我喜欢她穿牛仔裤的样子 -跟陌生人买大麻安全吗?

[18:03.32]ls it safe to buy pot from strangers?

[18:06.40]They're not strangers. They're our new friends with pot. 他们不是陌生人 他们是我们新交的大麻朋友

[18:08.08]-Okay. -You're such an idiot, dude.

[18:14.88]They're going around the corner to Drown the Hound. 他们要到 街角的“淹死狗”酒吧

[18:18.84]There's a guy there who deals. 那里有个家伙卖大麻 我泡上那个眼镜仔

[18:20.32]And l get the one with the glasses.

[18:22.24]My, when she scores, she scores. All right. 天啊,没有她要不到的东西 太棒了

[18:28.12]-There you go. -Thanks a lot, Tommy.

[18:34.76]''Drown the Hound.'' And l thought they were being ironic. “淹死狗” 我还以为他们是在开玩笑

[18:42.24]-l see our guys. -Yeah! Go get 'em. -我看到他们了 -去拿我们的…

[18:45.60]lf that last place was called ''Bed,'' then this should be called ''Smell.'' 如果那个地方叫做“上床” 这里该叫做“臭死人”

[18:50.04]Hold your nose. l promised Smith l'd watch him on TRL... 你们自便吧,我答应史密斯 会看他上“现场点歌”

[18:54.96]and this dump has a TV. 这个鬼地方有电视

[18:59.80]-What have they got all over the floor? -Peanut shells. 地板上是什么东西?

[19:00.68]-花生壳 -为什么?

[19:03.80]-Why? -l don't know. 我不知道,花生壳出现在这里 也是有原因的吗?

[19:05.76]Do peanut shells have to happen for a reason?

[19:09.84]What can l get you? -有什么需要我效劳的? -这是20块

[19:09.56]Here's $20. l assume, in a place like this, that covers three drinks... 那应该够买三杯酒 我还想转台

[19:15.80]and a channel change.

[19:16.60]Does the bride need another Jell-O shot? 新娘要再来杯果冻甜酒吗?

[19:18.40]-No, l can't! -Yes!

[19:24.68]-Great! -One more. -再来一杯 -看看她们,她们好快乐

[19:25.16]Look at them, so happy.

[19:32.40]Hey, sweetie, what's wrong? -甜心,怎么了? -真希望我没有结过婚

[19:34.12]l just.... l wish l'd never been married before.

[19:37.00]But if you hadn't married Trey, you wouldn't have met Harry. 但那样你就不会认识哈利…

[19:42.64]l know. lt's just... l hate that this is my second ring. 我知道 但我不喜欢这是我第二枚婚戒

[19:44.96]And that this is my second marriage. 这是我第二次结婚

[19:48.32]l hate that l finally found the love of my life... 我找到真爱却不能大肆庆祝

[19:49.60]and l can't celebrate it in a big, big way.

[19:52.100]You can do whatever you want. 你想做什么都可以

[19:56.24]No, l can't. lt's inappropriate. 不行,那么做太不合礼仪了

[20:01.56]Excuse me, hi. Would you take a picture of me and my girlfriends? 对不起,你能帮我们拍照吗? 我朋友要结婚了

[20:05.44]She's getting married. -没问题 -谢谢

[20:07.52]-Sure. -Thank you.

[20:12.76]You know, she got engaged last night. 她昨晚订婚了

[20:16.16]-Congratulations. -No, it's my second. -恭喜 -不,这是我第二次结婚

[20:19.84]She's getting married to a wonderful man. And look at this rock. 她要嫁给一个好男人 看看她的戒指

[20:23.28]Oh, wow!

[20:25.28]-lt's beautiful. -Thank you. -好漂亮 -谢谢

[20:26.76]-You have to be in the picture. -That's okay. 你得跟我们一起拍照

[20:29.48]Come on. 来吧

[20:33.04]Got the camera. 把照相机给我

[20:36.12]-All right, everyone say ''bride.'' -Bride! -好了,大家说“新娘” -新娘

[20:45.28]-When are you getting married? -What's the dress like? 你什么时候结婚?

[20:46.28]Where's the reception? 夏绿蒂终于释怀了

[20:49.16]FinaIIy, CharIotte's inner judge was siIenced by some very Ioud bacheIorettes.

[20:50.72]那些呱呱叫的女孩安慰了她

[20:55.04]Sorry, l guess he's not here tonight. 抱歉,今晚他没有来

[20:58.28]Well, you can't cry over spilt pot. 你们可以把大麻分给我们

[21:02.60]-l can buy you a drink. -l said l was buying her a drink, dude. -我能请你喝一杯 -我说过要请她喝酒

[21:05.12]-You have a girlfriend. -Gentlemen, please. -你有女朋友了 -拜托

[21:09.92]That's the secret of the skinny jeans. 那是紧身牛仔裤的功劳 屁股跟脑袋一样重要

[21:12.44]It's not so much a state of behind as a state of mind.

[21:15.52]What do l gotta do to get a beer around here?

[21:17.20]Hey, what's up! I'm La La, and now...

[21:18.96]you've seen him naked on a biIIboard right here in Times Square. 你们看过他在广告上一丝不挂

[21:22.64]And now he's on TRL wearing cIothes. Damn, but it's stiII aII good. 现在他穿着衣服 上“现场点歌”,该死

[21:27.00]He is the absoIute hottest, the absoIute awesome... 但他是最帅最性感的

[21:30.80]the AbsoIut Hunk! Give it up for Smith Jerrod! 绝对猛男,欢迎史密斯杰洛德

[21:36.80]Man, we have a Iot of fans in the house. Let's get right to some questions. 很多影迷来到现场 现在开始发问吧

[21:41.04]-Hi, I'm Amber. -Hey, what's up, Amber? -你好,我是安柏 -你好吗?安柏

[21:44.92]Nice, relaxed, sexy, and modest. 温柔,轻松,性感,有礼貌

[21:46.68]One.: What is it Iike to be the AbsoIut Hunk? 能当上绝对猛男 你有什么感觉?

[21:50.28]I have to say it's been a reaI trip. I've met some reaIIy awesome peopIe. 我得说这趟旅行真的很棒 我认识了一些很棒的人

[21:57.12]-You're hot enough to be on TV. -Take that to the dartboard. -你在电视上一定也很性感 -你去死吧

[21:59.52]And two.: Do you have a girIfriend?

[22:02.92]-你有女朋友吗? -不,我还在找我的梦中情人

[22:04.00]No, I'm stiII Iooking.

[22:04.60]For reaI? You're not dating anyone? -你没有跟任何人约会吗? -我正在跟某人约会

[22:09.40]I am dating, but I'm not seeing anyone speciaI.

[22:10.36]但她不是我的意中人

[22:14.84]And even though Samantha had designed it herseIf... 虽然这是莎曼珊的公关策略

[22:17.32]she reaIized ''no one speciaI'' was another IabeI she didn't care for. 听到他那么说 她还是若有所失

[22:22.08]l changed my mind. 我改变心意了,吻我

[22:25.08]Kiss me.

[22:27.04]And to prove that Smith was no one speciaI to her... 为了证明她不爱史密斯 她吻了一个混蛋

[22:29.24]she kissed someone even Iess speciaI.

[22:32.56]UnfortunateIy, he was someone speciaI to a somewhat drunk person. 不幸地某个喝醉的女人 觉得他是天上掉下来的礼物

[22:36.20]What the fuck do you think you're doing? -你在做什么? -发生了什么事?

[22:39.12]-What happened? -She kissed Frankie. -她吻了法兰基 -你以为你是什么东西?

[22:40.80]Who the fuck do you think you are?

[22:42.68]Fucking city girls, you think you're such hot shit... 你以为你可以乱吻 别人的男朋友吗?

[22:46.56]that you can go around kissing other girls' boyfriends?

[22:48.52]-l'm gonna kick your ass. -l'm gonna slap the shit out of you. -我要痛扁你 -我要打得你满地找牙

[22:53.72]-Oh, my God! -Relax. -我的天啊 -别激动

[22:55.52]You fucking relax. 你才别激动

[23:02.24]lf l ever fucking see you again... 如果再让我看到你

[23:03.56]l'm gonna put my shoes so far up your ass, you're gonna taste leather! 我会狠狠地踹你一脚 让你受点教训

[23:09.60]Okay, l get it. Angry women can be scary. 我懂了 抓狂的女人真的很可怕

[23:14.76]Very few women can pull off anger in a tube top. 很少穿无肩带上衣的女人 会这般生气

[23:19.76]This night is turning into a total bust. -今晚真的是太悲惨了 -才怪

[23:21.52]Not total....

[23:25.40]Oh, my God, l love you! Where did you get that? 天啊,我爱你 你从哪里弄来的?

[23:30.28]Apparently, $20 will buy you three drinks... 很明显地20块能买三杯酒

[23:34.56]-a channel change and a joint. -All right. -转台的权利和一根大麻 -太棒了

[23:44.100]Fucking men. 男人去死吧

[23:51.48]Men are bullshit. 男人都是混蛋

[23:54.52]That's what l'm talking about. 一点都没错

[23:57.20]Being someone's girlfriend.... 当某人的女朋友

[24:04.88]-No good can come of it. -That's what l'm saying. -根本一点都不好玩 -一点都没错

[24:11.52]Wow!

[24:12.92]This is strong weed. 这根大麻真烈

[24:20.100]lt's Smith. 是史密斯打来的

[24:25.84]-Hello. -Hi. Did you see me? -你看到我上节目了吗? -当然

[24:27.04]-Yes, we saw it. -How'd I do? -我表现得如何? -太完美了,跟计划中一样

[24:29.56]Perfect, just like we planned.

[24:29.80]-We're aII going to the.... -Can you hear me? 你听到了吗?这里收讯不好 让我…

[24:33.60]-HeIIo? -l'm not getting any reception here.

[24:36.68]Let me.... -喂 -你还在吗?

[24:38.96]Are you there? 我思索着 我的感情世界简直是一团糟

[24:40.36]As I contempIated the fact...

[24:40.76]that my reIationship had gone to pot, IiteraIIy...

[24:44.52]I reaIized no high or Iow wouId make this day... 我明白不论做什么

[24:48.88]any day other than the day I got broken up with by a Post-it. 都无法抹杀掉今天 我收到便利贴分手字条的事实

[24:56.08]Police. Stay right where you are. 警察,不要动

[24:60.84]That's the way it goes. We have to take her downtown. 我们得带她回局里

[25:04.40]Officer, please. l am a lawyer and a mother. 警官 我是个律师,也是个母亲

[25:07.88]This woman is my friend. She's an extremely law-abiding citizen. -我朋友是守法的市民 -她刚刚犯了法

[25:10.40]Who just broke the law. 对,但她会那么做 因为今天她真的很伤心

[25:12.16]Yes, but in her defense, she has had a very bad day.

[25:15.72]-Her boyfriend just broke up with her. -On a Post-it. -她男朋友跟她分手 -他用便利贴写分手字条

[25:18.44]Come on, that didn't happen. 少来了,你们骗人

[25:26.92]''l'm sorry. l can't. Don't hate me.'' “抱歉,我办不到,别恨我”

[25:31.44]Wow, brutal. 太残忍了

[25:32.64]Tell you what, l'll write you up for smoking in a bar. 我要开张 在酒吧抽大麻的罚单给你

[25:37.52]Come on, can't you just let her off? 别这样,你不能放了她吗?

[25:38.80]l'm sorry. l can't. Don't hate me. 抱歉,我办不到,别恨我

[25:45.96]Hear that? lt's midnight. 你们听到了吗?已经午夜了

[25:48.28]The official end to what will now be known as... 我因为来一管被逮捕的日子

[25:52.20]the day l got arrested for smoking a doobie. 正式结束了

[25:59.48]l said doobie. This is great! 我说了“来一管” 真的太酷了

[26:04.56]You didn't get arrested. 你没有被逮捕

[26:05.16]See, your Post-it was your get-out-of-jail-free card. 你的便利贴让你免于牢狱之灾 如果你没有认识柏格…

[26:10.04]lf you never met Berger, you wouldn't--

[26:11.80]Stop, you're killing my buzz. -别说了,你快把我搞疯了 -我开始同意夏绿蒂的说法

[26:13.52]l have to say, l'm starting to agree with Charlotte's way of thinking.

[26:17.56]lf l hadn't accidentally gotten pregnant by Steve... 要不是我意外怀孕 我不会生下布莱迪

[26:19.44]l never would have had Brady.

[26:23.16]l'm not finished. And had no time to eat. 我还没有说完 我就不会没空吃东西

[26:27.64]So l never would have fit into my skinny jeans... 很可能还是穿不下紧身牛仔裤 永远不知道帅哥那么多

[26:29.04]and realize this city is full of cute men.

[26:33.52]Now that's my kind of thinking. 我也那么认为

[26:34.36]Don't bogart the split. 凯莉,别糟蹋雪糕

[26:39.16]Okay, l know what l learned from my Berger relationship. 我知道我从柏格这件事里 学会了什么

[26:49.88]Wait a minute, l just had it. 等一下,我真的想到了

[26:55.36]What? -什么? -你们知道吗?

[26:54.96]You know what, l changed my mind. -我改变了心意 -凡事不是天注定?

[26:58.92]You don't think everything happens for a reason?

[27:01.60]No, not about that. About the wedding. l really want you guys to be my bridesmaids. 关于婚礼的事 我希望你们当我的伴娘

[27:09.16]You don't have to wear the matching dresses, l promise. 我发誓不逼你们穿花边礼服

[27:11.36]-l'll eat to that. -Can l get that in writing? -万岁 -你能白纸黑字写下来吗?

[27:15.00]l think l've had enough. My jeans just popped. 我想我吃太多了 我的牛仔裤都爆开来了

[27:25.44]I might never find a Iesson in why Berger and I spIit... 我可能永远都不会知道 为什么柏格要跟我分手

[27:29.92]but at Ieast, for the moment, there was a banana spIit. 但至少现在我能大吃香蕉船

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