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偶像励志英语演讲 81:做真正的自己(3)

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Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this pathwas from a very tragic event. I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a caraccident. And I passed the accident, and I didn't know it was her and I kept going, and I foundout shortly after that, it was her. And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, Ihad no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas.And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? Idon't understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pickup the phone and call God, and ask these questions.

总之,当时我不知道自己这一辈子要干什么,最后因为一件十分悲惨的事情,我找到了自己的人生目标。大约是在19岁时,我的女朋友在一次车祸中身亡。我路过事故现场时不知道是她,就继续走。但不久我发现,那就是她。当时我住在地下室的公寓里,我没有钱,没有暖气,没有新鲜空气,只是在地板上铺一个垫子,房间里到处都是跳蚤。我感到困惑不已。我在想,“为什么她突然走了?为什么我住在满是跳蚤的房子里?”我无法理解,但一定有理由的,要是能直接拿起电话问上帝的话不是太好了吗?

And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God,which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and Ihadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, "I'm gonna do this onthe Tonight Show with Johnny Carson"at the time he was the king-"and I'm gonna be the firstwoman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." And several years later, I wasthe first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sitdown, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote. And I started this path ofstand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying toplease everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. And I thought ifpeople found out they wouldn't like me, they would laugh at me.

于是我开始写东西,脑海中涌现出一段与上帝的对话,那是只有我一个人的独白。写完之后,我看着我写的东西,对自己讲话。那时,我还没有开始做单人脱口秀节目,因为当时新奥尔良没有俱乐部。我说,我将要在“今夜秀”上和约翰尼·卡森一起表演这一段。他当时是主持界天王,我将成为该节目史上第一个和他一起坐下被访问的女性。数年之后,我成了该节目史上第一位、也是唯一一位和约翰尼一起坐下被访问的女性,完全是因为我写的“与上帝打电话对话”的剧本。从此我开始做单人脱口秀节目,并且非常成功。但也非常艰难,因为我想取悦每一个人。我守着一个秘密,那就是我是一个同性恋,我想人们要是发现了,就不会喜欢我了,还会嘲笑我。

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