偶像励志英语演讲 81:做真正的自己(3)

[00:00.02]Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, 总之，当时我不知道自己这一辈子要干什么， [00:03.06]and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event. 最后因为一件十分悲惨的事情，我找到了自己的人生目标。 [00:08.06]I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. 大约是在19岁时，我的女朋友在一次车祸中身亡。 [00:15.31]And I passed the accident, and I didn't know it was her and I kept going, 我路过事故现场时不知道是她，就继续走。 [00:19.45]and I found out shortly after that, it was her. 但不久我发现，那就是她。 [00:24.11]And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, 当时我住在地下室的公寓里，我没有钱，没有暖气，没有新鲜空气， [00:31.19]I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. 只是在地板上铺一个垫子，房间里到处都是跳蚤。 [00:35.24]And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? 我感到困惑不已。我在想，“为什么她突然走了?为什么我住在满是跳蚤的房子里?” [00:40.55]I don't understand, there must be a purpose, 我无法理解，但一定有理由的， [00:43.03]and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions. 要是能直接拿起电话问上帝的话不是太好了吗? [00:48.36]And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, 于是我开始写东西，脑海中涌现出一段与上帝的对话，那是只有我一个人的独白。 [00:55.44]and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, 写完之后，我看着我写的东西，对自己讲话。 [01:00.51]and I hadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. 那时，我还没有开始做单人脱口秀节目，因为当时新奥尔良没有俱乐部。 [01:03.41]I said, "I'm gonna do this on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" at the time he was the king- 我说，我将要在“今夜秀”上和约翰尼·卡森一起表演这一段。他当时是主持界天王， [01:08.27]"and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." 我将成为该节目史上第一个和他一起坐下被访问的女性。 [01:12.57]And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, 数年之后，我成了该节目史上第一位、也是唯一一位和约翰尼一起坐下被访问的女性， [01:19.37]because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote. 完全是因为我写的“与上帝打电话对话”的剧本。 [01:22.15]And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, 从此我开始做单人脱口秀节目，并且非常成功。 [01:30.18]but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody 但也非常艰难，因为我想取悦每一个人。 [01:33.59]and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. 我守着一个秘密，那就是我是一个同性恋， [01:36.09]And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they would laugh at me. 我想人们要是发现了，就不会喜欢我了，还会嘲笑我。

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