名校励志英语演讲 第69期:做真正的自己

[00:00.49]And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, 当时我住在地下室的公寓里，我没有钱，没有暖气，没有新鲜空气， [00:08.21]I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. 只是在地板上铺一个垫子，房间里到处都是跳骚。 [00:12.25]And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? 我感到困惑不已，我在想，“为什么她突然走了？为什么我住在满是跳骚的屋子里？” [00:17.57]I don't understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions. 我无法理解，但一定有理由的，要是能直接拿起电话问上帝不是太好了吗？ [00:25.38]And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, 于是我开始些东西，脑海中涌现出一段与上帝的对话， [00:30.54]which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, 那是只有我一个人的独白。写完之后，我看着我写的东西，对自己讲话。 [00:37.53]and I hadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. 那时，我还没有开始做单人脱口秀节目，因为当时纽奥良没有俱乐部。 [00:40.42]I said, "I'm gonna do this on the Tonight Show With Johnny Carson"—at the time he was the king— 我说，我将要在“今夜秀”上和约翰尼·卡森一起表演这一段。 [00:45.29]"and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." 他当时是主持界大王，我将成为该节目史上第一个被他访问的女性。 [00:49.59]And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, 数年之后，我成了该节目史上第一位， [00:53.52]and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote. 也是唯一一位和约翰尼一起坐下被访问的女性，全是因为我写的“与上帝打电话对话”的剧本。 [00:59.17]And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, 从此我开始做单人脱口秀节目，非常成功，非常棒，但也非常艰难， [01:08.06]because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. 因为我想取悦每一个人，我守着自己是同志的秘密， [01:13.11]And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me. 我想每个人要是发现我是同性恋，就不会喜欢我了，还会嘲笑我。 [01:16.47]Then my career turned into—I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success. 接着，我有了自己的喜剧，也很成功，更进一步的成功。 [01:23.51]And I thought, what if they find out I'm gay, then they'll never watch, and this was a long time ago, 我又在想，要是人们发现我是同性恋了，该怎么办？他们再也不会看我的节目了。 [01:29.14]this was when we just had white presidents—this was back, many years ago— 这是很早以前事情，你们可能不知道，这是我们的总统还是白人的时候，那是多年前的事了。 [01:38.03]and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, 我最后决定，我一直都是带着羞耻和恐惧而活， [01:45.54]that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative. 我不能再这么活着了。我最终决定将这个秘密公之于众，要有创造性。

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