全美第一段子手——奥巴马，这才叫“谈笑风生”啊

然而你确定自己不是猴子派来的逗逼吗？

每次演讲听众都要爆笑N次，

当之无愧的全美第一段子手——奥巴马。

2015年白宫演讲段子

2015年的白宫晚宴开场先开始了自黑.....
 

又吐槽了总统很辛苦哇....

然后又提到了拜登......尤其是卖披萨，笑死了~~

 

 

 

2016模拟面试段子

 

Stephen:

I do not see any promotions for the last eight years. That’s not always good. Can you explain that?
我发现你过去八年没有任何职位提升，这样可不好，你能解释一下么？

Obama:

Honestly, there wasn't a lot of room for advancement in my last job.

坦白说，我的上一份工作没什么升职空间。

The only one with a more powerful position was my wife.

唯一更高的职位是我老婆在做。

 

 

 

2016白宫演讲段子

1."I know I was a little late tonight. I was running on CPT, which stands for jokes that white people should not make."

我知道我来的有点晚了。没办法，我们用的是CPT时间。这可是白人不能讲的笑话哦。

His monologue then officially started. 好，开演了! CPT指的是Colored people time, 即有色人种时间。这里有对非裔美国人的stereotype，他们总是爱迟到。通过笑话直面种族歧视的现实，这也是巴马的可爱之处了。（脑补一下：这笑话只有我能讲，哼，因为我是小公举！）

2. You might have heard that someone jumped the White House fence last week, but I have to give the Secret Service credit. They found Michelle and brought her back. She's safe back at home now. It's only nine more months, baby. Settle down.

你们或许听说过，上周有人私闯白宫护栏。在这里我要严重感谢特勤局，他们把我老婆Michelle找回来了。她现在在家很安全。（对他老婆说）静下心来，宝贝！只不过还有九个月（我们就能离开这个鬼地方了）。

3. Next year at this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot and it’s anyone guess who she will be.

明年这个时候，就会有另一个人以总统的身份站在这里演讲。猜猜她是谁？

好了，你们猜猜她是谁吧。大家可以打个赌，明年十有八九就是她了。

4. "And there is one area where Donald's experience could be invaluable and that's closing Guantanamo because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.”

倒是有一个领域床破的经验一定能排上大用场，那就是把关塔那摩关了，因为毕竟他对房地产还是略知一二滴。

5.Helen Mirren is here tonight. I don't even have a joke here, I just think Helen Mirren is awesome. She's awesome.

海伦米伦今天也在，我都不想对她开玩笑。她很牛逼，很了不起。

你被这个逗逼逗乐了吗？