Ta表面伤人实则充满爱意的行为，你是不是误解过？

　　有的爱情表面无害，实则险象环生，使人很累。这可能是恋爱双方某一人的私欲造成的，也可能是过强的控制欲造成的。

　　有时我们认为自己的TA在干涉我们，破坏爱情，但事实并不总是这样。可能TA表达爱意的方式有误，但表面伤人的行为也许正是TA爱之深的表现。

6. Constant preaching

　　不停的说教

　　Yeah, that’s annoying. "You could do this. You could do that." But is that really your partner’s discontent with you? Take a closer look. Perhaps they are just sure that you are capable of more or think you were wrong to bury your talent. It’s true when they say that onlookers see more than players.

　　不停地对你说教确实挺烦的。“你可以做这个，你也可以做那个。”但是这些语言表达的只是不满吗?好好想一想，可能你的TA只是觉得你可以做得更好，埋没才能太可惜了。俗话说得好：旁观者清。
 

　　preach /priːtʃ/ v. 说教 [表不满]

　　
5. And nothing but the truth

　　只说实话

　　Be honest: when you ask a question, do you really want to hear the truthful answer, or do you just want confirmation that you are right? It’s very important to answer this question to yourself first so as not to seek ill intent in the overly direct answers of your loved one later.

　　诚实：你问问题的目的是什么?是真想听实话还是只是想证明自己的判断是正确的?先问问自己，免得过后从TA直接的答案里“挑刺”。
 

　　overly adv. 过度地

　　
4. Estrangement in reply to estrangement

　　以己之疏远还彼之疏远

　　Love is a roller coaster. It goes up when feelings flare up with renewed vigor and then down when everyday life and problems start to exert their pernicious influence. If your partner needs some time alone to deal with their problems, do not think of it as the end of your relationship. Just give it some time.

　　爱情就像过山车，激情燃烧时向上爬，被生活琐事烦扰时向下落。如果你的伴侣需要自己的时间去解决问题，不要把这当成你们爱情的结束。给这段感情一些时间，等等看。
 

　　estrangement /ɪˈstreɪndʒmənt/ n. 疏远(期) [正式]

　　flare up /fleə/ 燃烧起来

　　pernicious /pəˈnɪʃəs/ adj. 极为有害的 [正式]

　　
3. Dissatisfaction with your appearance

　　不满意你的外表

　　Deep inside, each of us desperately needs compliments to convince ourselves that appearance is not the criterion by which a good person is judged. But if you suddenly gained weight that rendered you short-winded, your partner’s remarks can be attributed to caring about your health rather than wanting to offend you.

　　其实我们每个人的内心都非常渴望赞美，这样我们就能说服自己外表并不是评定一个人好坏的标准。但要是自己突然长胖了，走个路都气喘吁吁的，你伴侣的话更多表达的是TA对你身体的关心，而不是有意冒犯你。
 

　　short-winded /'ʃɔ:t'windid/ adj. 易气急的，气短的;呼吸急促(或困难)的

　　
2. Spending leisure time apart

　　自由时间各玩各的

　　We all have different personalities, interests, and circles of contacts. If your partner is a fan of fishing and a nature enthusiast, while you like bowling and noisy get-togethers, don’t take offense that he doesn’t invite you to come along to the lake. He just remembers how bored you were last time.

　　我们都有不同的个性，不同的兴趣，不同的社交圈。如果你的伴侣是自然爱好者，喜爱垂钓，而你喜欢打保龄球，喜欢热闹的聚会，那就不要因为他不带你去河边而不开心有情绪。他只是知道你对垂钓这类活动没什么兴趣。

　　bowling /'bəuliŋ/ n. 保龄球戏，地滚球戏

　　
1. Distancing after quarrels

　　吵架后远离彼此

　　All people quarrel from time to time. It’s normal. But it is not normal to expect your partner to come running to reconcile immediately. We all need time to calm down and to consider our feelings and the words we blurted out.

　　所有人时不时都会争吵，这很正常。但是争吵完就要求你的伴侣马不停蹄地跑来道歉并恳求和好不太现实。我们都需要时间来平复自己的心情，想一想自己刚才争吵时说了哪些不该说的话，有没有失控发飙。

　　quarrel /'kwɒr(ə)l/ n. 吵架;反目;怨言

　　
话说这些情况我们总能碰到，但你有没有因为不了解TA的真实意图而闹出误会呢?　　

多一分理解，多一分宽容，我们就会少一些争吵~