女孩的“自信代码”:3种方法来培养我们的女儿

If there's one quality I want my girls to have more than any other, it is confidence.

如果有一种品质是我最想让我的女儿拥有的，那就是自信。

I've seen how important it is in the workplace and in life: Confident people get what they want. They take risks. They are not afraid of failure.

我看到了自信在工作和生活中的重要性:自信的人得到他们想要的。他们冒险。他们不怕失败。

Growing up as a perfectionist, somewhat fearful of both failure and success, I wish I had the confidence in my teens and early 20s that I have now.

作为一个完美主义者长大，我有点害怕失败和成功，我希望我在十几岁和二十出头的时候有现在这样的信心。

For all these reasons, I was thrilled when one of my daughters, during the first grade, had to name five words to describe herself. Confident was on her list. I thought then and still think now, "What can I do to make sure she feels that way when she is a teenager?"

由于所有这些原因，当我的一个女儿在一年级时不得不说出五个词来描述她自己时，我非常激动。自信在她的清单上。我当时在想，现在也在想，“我能做些什么来确保她在十几岁的时候也有这种感觉?”

Journalist, author and speaker Claire Shipman has some answers. In 2014, she and her co-author, Katty Kay, anchor of BBC World News America, published "The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance -- What Women Should Know." The book resonated deeply with women and quickly became a bestseller.

记者、作家兼演说家克莱尔·希普曼给出了一些答案。2014年，她和她的合著者、BBC世界新闻美国频道(BBC World News America)主播凯蒂·凯(Katty Kay)出版了《自信密码:自信的科学与艺术——女性应该知道的东西》(The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance——What Women Should Know)。这本书引起了女性的共鸣，很快成为畅销书。

I asked Shipman, a mom of two, for some advice -- advice she said she's using with her 13-year-old daughter, with good results.

我向希普曼请教，她是两个孩子的母亲，她说她正在给她13岁的女儿提一些建议，效果很好。

1. Help her get outside her comfort zone and take risks.

1. 帮助她走出舒适区，去冒险。

One of the most important things we can do as parents of daughters, Shipman said, is to help them get "comfortable being uncomfortable." Shipman said she and Kay feel that if they do nothing else in this book but get girls to walk away and understand that it's cool to take risks, they will have succeeded.

希普曼说，作为女儿的父母，我们能做的最重要的事情之一，就是帮助她们“适应不自在”。希普曼说，她和凯觉得，如果他们在这本书里什么都不做，只是让女孩们走开，让她们明白冒险很酷，她们就会成功。

2. Have her keep a list of risks.

2. 让她列一个风险清单。

Having your daughter keep a list of the risks she has taken and how she worked through them can be a reminder of what she is capable of, Shipman said. The same holds true for failures: Listing their failures and how they tackled them can be incredibly empowering.

希普曼说，让你的女儿把她所冒过的风险以及她是如何克服这些风险的记录下来，可以提醒她自己能够做到什么。同样的道理也适用于失败:列出他们的失败，以及他们是如何处理的，这些都能极大地增强你的能力。

Also, have them keep a list of some stock phrases that they can tell themselves when they are in a bit of a frightening situation, such as "I've done something like this before. I can do it. I've got it."

同时，让他们列出一些常用的短语，当他们处于某种可怕的情况时，他们可以告诉自己，比如“我以前做过类似的事情。”我能做到。我懂了。”

3. Remind her of 'failure fixes.'

3.提醒她“纠正错误”。

Our girls need to know that failure will undoubtedly happen and that it's not something they can avoid. But knowing how to deal with it can help. "We all need a cheat sheet to failure," Shipman and Kay write.

我们的女孩需要知道，失败肯定会发生，这是她们无法避免的。但知道如何处理它会有所帮助。“我们都需要失败的小抄，”希普曼和凯写道。