听力课堂TED音频栏目主要包括TED演讲的音频MP3及中英双语文稿，供各位英语爱好者学习使用。本文主要内容为演讲MP3+双语文稿:患癌女教师：感恩如何治愈大脑？，希望你会喜欢！

【主讲人】
克里斯蒂娜·科斯塔(Christina Costa)对高等教育中的包容性学习充满热情。2020年，她被诊断出右脑脑瘤。作为一名神经分化学学者，她希望能激励其他人认识到神经多样性，并给其他脑癌和脑瘤患者带来希望。她非常喜欢河马，也是Beyoncé的头号粉丝，并且愿意为她的学生做任何事。

【演讲主题】How gratitude rewires your brain?
当一个研究幸福感的心理学家患上脑瘤，并将自己的研究付诸实践时，会发生什么呢？克里斯蒂娜·科斯塔(Christina Costa)讲述了她与癌症的斗争故事，还强调了培养韧性的一种好方法——感恩——以及其对大脑的好处。

【中英文稿】

When I was middle school science teacher, I would often ask my students to kiss their brain. I got this idea from visiting my friend's kindergarten classroom. She would ask her students to kiss their brain, and they would take their fingers, tap them to their mouth and then to the top of their head. And it truly was as cute as you can picture it to be. So I decided to bring it back to my middle school classroom, which could have gone one of two ways, but it ended up being a really fun ritual for us, too. And I would ask them to kiss their brain for all the work they did in class as a practice of gratitude.

我在中学当科学教师的时候， 我通常会叫我的学生 去亲吻他们的大脑。 我的这个点子来自于我去 造访我朋友的幼儿园教室。 她会叫她的学生去亲吻他们的大脑。 他们会用手指头轻碰他们的嘴巴， 接着轻碰头顶， 那画面真的就是各位 想象中的那么可爱。 所以我决定把它带回我的中学教室， 可能会有两种结果， 但最后我们也把它当成 很有趣的仪式。 我会要他们为了他们 在课堂上所做的一切 亲吻他们的大脑，以表示感激。

After teaching middle school, I came back to grad school to get my PhD in psychology. My research is within the area of positive psychology, which is the science that investigates the strengths and factors that allow individuals and communities to thrive. I also get to teach psychology to undergrad students and high school students. I love teaching psych, and my absolute favorite unit to teach In Intro Psych is the brain. But while I love teaching about the brain, I thought it would be pushing it to ask my undergrads, aka adults, to kiss their brains. So three years would go by before I would remember that fun phrase.

离开中学教职之后，我回到 研究所攻读心理学博士学位。 我的研究领域是正向心理学， 它是种科学，研究哪些长处和因素 能协助个人和小区成功。 我也可以教大学生和高中生心理学。 我热爱教心理学， 基础心理学当中我最喜欢 教的单元就是大脑。 但，虽然我喜欢教大脑的主题， 我仍然觉得要叫已经成人的大学生 去亲吻他们的大脑是有点踩线了。 所以，三年过去了， 我才想起了那有趣的句子。

One day after teaching last year, I had a terrible migraine that left half of my face numb and blurred my vision. The migraines kept happening. I saw multiple doctors, and then I started experiencing dizzy spells. The neurologist ordered an MRI, and I remember being so excited because then I would be able to use my own brain pictures when I taught brain imaging to my students. But as it turns out, my MRI wasn't too picture perfect. The doctor called me and asked me to go to the ER because there was a large mass in the right hemisphere of my brain, and that's where I saw the image for the first time.

去年某一天的课后， 我发生严重的偏头痛， 导致我左脸麻木，视线模糊。 偏头痛不断发生。 我看了好几个医生， 我开始会有晕眩发作。 神经科医生安排了 MRI， 我记得我当时好兴奋， 因为那样我就可以 用我自己的大脑影像来教我学生脑部显影。 但结果发现， 我的 MRI 影像并不完美。 医生打电话给我，要我去急诊室， 因为我的右半脑有个很大的肿块。 那是我第一次看见这张影像。

I have never been more scared in my life than I was that night, and with tears dripping down my face, in the hospital, I kissed my brain for the first time since I had left my middle school classroom. I made it my mantra, and I kissed my brain every single day, leading up to and after surgery. Then, two weeks later, after surgery, the pathology reports came back and I was diagnosed with an anaplastic astrocytoma.

那晚是我人生中最害怕的一刻， 我泪流不止， 在医院里，我亲吻了我的大脑， 我离开中学教室之后 就没这么做过了。 我把它变成我的真言， 且每天亲吻我的大脑， 一直到手术日，之后也持续下去。 接着，两周后，手术后， 病理报告出来了， 我被诊断出分化不良星形细胞瘤。

The weeks following were very difficult. I tried to figure out what I was struggling with the most by looking back on all the things I had been writing about this experience. I wrote and posted this on Instagram about a week after I received that pathology report: "I will keep fighting. I will keep loving, I will keep living, I will keep loving. I will keep living." And then about a week after that, I wrote this: "Fighter. I tried it on to see how it felt because I kept hearing those words next to my name, like a job, like an identity, like a role. Fighter. I look at myself in the mirror. It felt OK at first, but soon it became exhausting, too heavy to lift, too much to carry, too burdensome to bear. I took it off and left it on the floor. War was not for me. A body is not a battlefield."

接下来的几周非常辛苦。 我试着弄清楚当时 让我最挣扎的是什么， 所以我回头看我过去所有 针对这次经历写下的文字。 收到病理报告的约一周后 我在 IG 上写下这段文字： 「我会继续奋战， 我会继续去爱，我会继续生活， 我会继续去爱，我会继续生活。」 大约再一周后，我写了这段文字： 「斗士。我试穿了这个身分， 想看看感觉如何， 因为我不断听到这个词 和我的名字一起出现， 好似一份工作、 一个身分、一个角色。 斗士。 我看着镜中的自己。 一开始感觉还好， 但很快就变得十分累人， 重到举不起，多到扛不了， 我承受不了这个担子。 我把它脱下来，留在地上。 我不适合打仗。 身体不是战场。

I realized that I had been introduced to the fight narrative. When people heard my diagnosis, I became a fighter. "You're a fighter," "Keep fighting," "Beat this tumor," were the top comments. And then there was the internet, the place I so desperately searched for people who were doing well with their diagnosis. But the top hashtags to search for were #braintumorssuck, #cancersucks and #cancerfighter. I understand completely why those hashtags exist, but I was so eager to find the hashtag #hiIhaveabraintumorthatmightnevergoaway andImstilllivingandthriving and I guess there just isn't a ring to that one. I hated the idea that I was going to be at war with my brain because I had spent months and years kissing it instead. I hated the suggestion of naming my tumor something awful because the reality is that it was going to be my neighbor for the rest of my life, and I hated the guided imagery training that asked me to picture chemo as an army coming to battle the cancer cells because I didn't want to spend over a year of my life at war with my own body.

我发现，我接触到了 这种战斗的说法。 当大家知道我的诊断之后， 我就成了斗士。 「你是个斗士。」「继续战斗。」 「击倒这肿瘤。」这些是最常见的。 然后还有网络，我在那里拼命地寻找 被诊断出来但仍然过得很好的人。 但最热门的搜寻井号标签 是 #脑瘤烂透了、#癌症烂透了， 以及 #癌症斗士。 我完全了解为什么 会有那些井号标签， 但我很迫切想要找到的井号标签是 #嗨我有可能永远不会消失的 脑瘤而我仍然好好地活着， 我猜，大概没有这种标签的圈子吧。 我讨厌「我必须要和我的 大脑开战」这种想法， 因为数个月、数年来 我反而都在亲吻它。 我讨厌「给我的肿瘤取个 可怕的名字」这种建议， 因为，现实是，在我的余生， 它都会一直是我的邻居。 我也讨厌导引式意象训练， 因为训练要我把化疗想象成 军队，要来大战癌症细胞， 因为我不想花我人生中一年多的时间 和我自己的身体打战。

I can see how these elements of the fight narrative can be empowering for people, but for me, I knew it wasn't going to work. So I started to reference well-being practices that I had learned from my own studies. Doctors always laugh with me when they find out that I'm a bio-psych and neuroscience major and psych PhD student. Then when they ask what I'm studying and I tell them I study resilience and well-being, they either laugh again, say something like, "Oh, that's irrelevant," or go, "Aw." The irony was never lost on me. I have read so many stories and studies of resilience, but I never pictured the day that I would have to personally experience it.

我能了解为什么战斗说法的这些元素 能给人力量， 但对我是行不通的。 我开始参考我从我自己的研究中 所学到的幸福实做法。 医生总是和我一起开怀大笑， 因为他们发现我主修 生物心理学和神经科学， 且是心理学博士生。 当他们问我，我在研究什么， 我告诉他们我研究的是 恢复力和幸福，他们又会 笑起来并说类似这样的话： 「喔，那不重要。」 或者说「啊。」 我总是会注意到这当中的讽刺。 我读过这么多关于 恢复力的故事和研究， 但我从来没有料到 有一天我得亲身体验它。

I read and taught about gratitude practices, specifically as a well-being strategy, and even though I knew the positive effects, I had never seriously practiced them myself. I started to incorporate some of these exercises into my life. I tried to stop focusing on what my body had done "wrong" and focus on the gratitude I had for my body instead. And really, I realized this is something I had been doing when I was kissing my brain those days leading up to and after surgery. Gratitude became the tool that helped me restructure my vision of illness and disability when the world was telling me I should fight it instead. Instead of thinking about if I would be able to have kids one day, I thought of how amazing it was that my brain, despite its trauma, was able to deliver the perfect amount of hormones to my body to produce enough eggs to save for a later date. Every time I went to radiation and was put in my mask, I kissed my brain and I focused on the resident telling me how the healthy cells would be able to repair over time and the cancer cells could not. And when the operative notes came back for my surgery, a day that I remember very well and had been scared to think about, I read the note out loud, sobbing, happy and grateful tears, thinking about what my neurosurgeon's team did. I started to feel such an immense sense of gratitude for science, medicine and my medical team, that those thoughts started to drown out the "What is my life going to be like?" thoughts.

我读过也教过用感激实做法 来当作幸福的策略， 虽然我知道它有正面的效果， 我自己从来没有认真做过。 我开始把这类练习 整合到我的生活中。 我试着不要把焦点放在 我的身体做「错」了什么， 改放在我对我的身体有多感激。 我发现，手术前后那段时间 当我在亲吻我的大脑时 其实就是在做这件事。 感激变成了一种工具， 它协助我重新建构关于 疾病和失去能力的看法， 而全世界却在叫我要去对抗它。 我不再去想我将来是否能生孩子， 我想的是我的大脑多么了不起， 尽管有这样的创伤， 还能够将完美份量的荷尔蒙 递送给我的身体， 让我产生足够的卵子， 保存到将来使用。 每当我去接受放射线 治疗，戴上面罩， 我会亲吻我的大脑， 然后专注听住院医生告诉我 健康的细胞会随着时间而修复， 癌细胞则不会。 当我的手术记录报告出来时， 我忘不了这一天，且很害怕去想它， 我把记录大声念出来， 声音哽咽，流着快乐和感恩的眼泪， 想着我的神经外科团队所做的一切。 我开始感受到极大的感激， 感谢科学、医学，和我的医疗团队， 那些想法开始压过那种 「我的人生会变怎样」的想法。

The more I practiced gratitude, the more peace I felt in my situation, and this got me interested in what could be happening with the science of gratitude at a neurological level. There are several positive psychological and social outcomes of gratitude, like increases in happiness, decreases in depression, having stronger relationships and experiencing positive emotion. And fMRI studies show us that several parts of our brain and pathways are activated when we experience and express gratitude. One of these parts is the medial prefrontal cortex, an area associated with the management of negative emotions. Together, these changes in neurotransmitters and hormones combined with activated neural pathways, help us cognitively restructure potentially harmful thoughts to better manage our circumstances. And the cool thing is that we can intentionally activate these gratitude circuits in our brain. In general, the more we do something, the easier it becomes, and our brains work the same way. The more we activate these gratitude circuits, the less effort it takes to stimulate those pathways the next time, and the stronger those pathways become. Neuroplasticity is a term I teach my students that refers to our brain's ability to form new neural connections throughout life. Which means this is something that anyone can practice and get better at over time.

我越是练习感激，在我的处境中就越能感到平静， 这让我开始好奇，在神经学层级上 感激的科学会是什么样子的？ 感激会造成数个 心理和社会的正面结果， 比如，快乐增加，忧郁降低， 关系更稳固，及感受到正面的情绪。 而 fMRI（功能性磁振造影） 研究指出 大脑有好几个部分和通路 会在我们感受和表达感激时被启动。 其中一部分是内侧前额叶皮质， 这个区域与负面情绪的管理相关。 加在一起， 神经传递质和荷尔蒙的改变 再加上启动的神经通路， 能协助我们在认知上 重新调整可能有害的想法， 把我们的情况处理得更好。 很酷的是， 我们可以刻意去启动 大脑中的这些感激回路。 一般来说，越常去做的事 就会变得越容易， 大脑也是这样运作的。 我们越常去启动这些感激回路， 下次刺激这些通路就会更不费力， 那些通路也会变得更强。 我会教学生神经可塑性这个词， 指的是一生中大脑产生 新神经连结的能力。 意思就是，每个人都能靠练习， 随时间就会做得更好。

So I kept practicing gratitude even when it seemed impossible. I continue to thank my brain for the amazing work it does as I prepare for 12 more rounds of chemo this year. I write down three things I'm grateful for and why I'm grateful for them, no matter what, every morning that I wake up. I write "thank you" notes to my heroes and health care, nurses who get the IV in the first time. The anesthesiology resident, who held my hand during the awake portions of my surgery, radiation therapist that play my playlist during treatment and administrative staff that makes me smile every time I walk into the hospital.

所以我持续练习感激， 包括在似乎不可能的情况下。 当我在为今年的 十二轮化疗做准备时， 我持续感谢我的大脑 做了这些了不起的事。 我会写下让我感激的三件事， 以及感激的原因， 不论如何，每天起床都一定会做。 我会写感谢条给 我的英雄和健康照护， 做第一次静脉注射的护理师， 麻醉科住院医师 在我手术苏醒时握着我的手， 放射线治疗师在治疗过程中 播放我的播放列表， 还有每回我走进医院时 都让我微笑的行政人员，

I do want to take a second here and practice what I teach to shout out my doctors and their teams from the Michigan Medicine Multidisciplinary Brain Tumor Clinic. I have never met such intelligent, kind and patient people. Thank you for making me feel brave when I sometimes felt the opposite.

在此我想花一点时间， 实做我教别人做的事， 感谢我在密歇根医疗多专科 脑瘤临床的医生及其团队， 我从来没有遇过这样聪明、 仁慈，且有耐心的人。 谢谢你们让我感到自己很勇敢， 因为我有时会有相反的感觉。

I think the universe might think it's funny that a psych instructor and researcher who studies well-being ended up with a brain tumor. The truth is that we need more awareness and more research regarding brain tumors and brain cancer. Doctors can't exactly predict how my tumor will behave, and really, none of us can predict what our lives are going to be like exactly. But what I hope I can show you is that we can also be grateful for the unexpected challenges.

我想，宇宙可能会觉得这样很好玩： 研究幸福的心理学讲师 和研究者最后得了脑瘤。 事实是，对于脑瘤和脑癌，我们需要 更多意识和研究。 医生无法确实预测我的肿瘤 会有什么行为，其实， 没有任何人能确实预测 我们的人生将来会如何。 但我希望我能让大家知道， 面对未预期的挑战， 我们可以抱持感恩的心。

I don't want to dismiss people who may find the fight narrative empowering. I also don't want to suggest that it's by any means easy to find ways to be grateful in dealing with adversity. This has been the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. But I do want to empower those that feel like me, that there's another way to go through whatever your journey may be, that loving your body doesn't have to be conditional. And that by practicing gratitude we can actually wire our brains to help us build resilience.

我并不想要忽视认为 战斗说法能带来力量的人。 我也绝非在暗示说在逆境中 想办法感恩是很容易的事。 这是我得做的事情当中最困难的。 但我希望能带给像我这样的人力量， 不论你走上怎样的旅程， 都可以换个方式渡过， 爱你的身体不需要有条件。 透过练习感激， 我们可以让大脑神经元连结， 协助我们建立恢复力。

And lastly, I hope everyone, no matter where you are or what you are doing, can take a second to kiss your own brain and thank it for all that it does for you.

最后， 我希望每个人，不论你身在何处 或在做什么事，可以 花点时间亲吻你的大脑。 感谢它为你做的一切。