《柯南脱口秀》第35期:没有合适的车

Did you ever have any nonacting job for you had success? 你有没有过成功的非演戏工作

I did.I have had many nonacting jobs.and one of my favorites was delivering bananas for a fair trade company in New Zealand. 有过 我有过很多非演戏工作 我最喜欢的是为新西兰的一家贸易公司送香蕉

And I told them that I wanted this job.I had everything it took. 我跟他们说我想要这份工作 我有需要的一切条件

And they told me I needed a vehicle.and I said got that,sort of.I didn't.I had a scooter. 他们说我需要一辆车 我说我有 搞定了 我没有 我只有摩托车

And so I rode around Wellington,which is one of the windiest cities in the country. 我在惠灵顿市里骑着车 这是新西兰上最多风的城市之一

On a scooter with of bananas on the back.And I got blown off twice,unfortunately. 骑着摩托车 后座有很多箱香蕉 不幸的是我被吹下来两次

And so I had to go back to the boss and say look,I'm sorry,I kind of lied and I don't really have an appropriate vehicle. 我得去找老板说 抱歉 我撒了谎 我没有合适的车

So they said no problem.we also run an environmentally friendly business.And we have hearses available. 他们说 没问题 我们也运营环保的殡仪业务 我们有退役的灵车

So I ended up delivering bananas all around Wellington in a retired hearse. 所以我最后 开着退役的灵车满惠灵顿跑送香蕉

That is,who wants to have a banana you just pulled out of a hearse? 谁想要你 刚从灵车里拿出来的香蕉啊

Turns out it wasn't part of my opening big when I to the supermarket people. 我跟超市的人说话时 并没有开张大吉

You know what I love when you're on the scooter and they're flying off,you picked the most easily fruit that there is. 我喜欢的是 你骑着摩托车 香蕉飞了 你选择了最容易碰伤的水果

You can't sell a bruised banana.and it takes a year for a banana to grow. 你卖不掉碰伤的香蕉 香蕉要一年才能成熟

Did you know that?No,I never knew that. 你知道吗 我不知道

A year? see,that's the only piece of information that's valuable that's come out of this show in over five years. 一年吗 这是五年来这个节目里唯一有用的信息

Thank you,thank you.thank you. 谢谢你 谢谢你 谢谢你