《柯南脱口秀》第69期:最刻薄的话

Before you sit down,you pull up your trousers.You can't do it in these kinds of Jeans. 坐下之前 提一下裤子 但穿这种牛仔裤不能这么做

Are those jeggings by any chance?I don't know what jeggings are.Oh,man.It's like,they are very, 这是打底紧身裤吗 我不知道那是什么 天呐 这就像

I wore them once on the show and the audience,yeah,that's them,Jean leggings.that's jeggings.I see.No,these are Jeans. 我有次在节目上穿来着 观众们 就是这个 牛仔打底裤 懂了 不 这是真正的牛仔裤

I wouldn't be seen dead in,but you did it because you're a man and you can get away with it.exactly. 我死也不会穿那个 但是你能穿 因为你是个汉子 穿着没关系 完全正确

That's the meanest thing anyone ever said to me. 这是别人对我说过的最刻薄的话

Hey,I want to,first of all,congratulate you,since the last time I saw you,you became knighted.Congratulations. 首先 我想祝贺你 自从我上次见你以后 你被封爵了 恭喜

I now takes you as sir.which it's got to change your life.You can't fly coach. 我现在应该称你为爵士 这肯定会改变你的生活 你不能坐二等舱了

You can't use public restrooms,exactly.This is a big deal. 你不能上公厕了 没错 这是件大事

It's a big deal.It's a big deal for me because it was totally . 确实是件大事 对我来说是件大事 因为我完全没料到

And it almost didn't happen because it came the invitation to accept or not this 这事差点没成 因为接受或拒绝这份荣誉的信件

came in a brown envelope and it was put into a plastic shopping bag with a whole lot of other mail 寄来时装在棕色的信封中 放在了购物塑料袋里 里面有一大堆其他邮件

and when I arrived at my destination that weekend,I put it in the closet and found it 10 days later. 当我那周末到达目的地以后 我把它放在了壁橱里 十天后才发现的

Wait a minute.First of all,I can't believe that's how they you 等等 首先我不敢相信他们是这样通知你的

In England that you're going to be knighted,that it just goes out with junk mail,you know.and then you almost didn't open it. 在英国 如果你要被封爵 信件是和垃圾邮件一起寄来的 你知道吗 而且你差点没有拆开

Except it does not have written across it.Free,final offer. 但是那封信上没有写 免费 最后一次机会