英语美文朗读 第304期 Things you should never apologize for

Number 1 - Your Appearance

When you apologize for things like looking tired or having a bad hair day, it comes off as a lack of self-compassion. You are who you are. Why would an apology be necessary for what you look like? Assuming that you don't show up at the office in sweatpants and a t-shirt, you really don't need to apologize for how you look.

第一，你的外表。当你为自己看起来过于疲惫，或者为自己度过了很糟糕的一天而道歉时，这就是缺乏自我共情的表现。你就是你。为什么要为你自己看起来如何而道歉？只要你没有穿运动裤和T恤出现在办公室里，你就真的没有必要为自己的外表而道歉。

Number 2 - Expressing Your Emotions

In any relationship, it's important to express your feelings. This helps others better understand you, and it deepens the connection you have. On the flip side, when you suppress your emotions in one area, they tend to come up in another area. This can appear as depression, anger, or anxiety and it can even cause physical illness. There is nothing wrong with expressing your emotions. It's a healthy behavior and not something you should feel like you have to hide. In fact, expressing your emotions will make you happier because it can help you cope with life better.

第二，表达你自己的感受。在任何的人际关系里，表达你的感受都是很重要的。这帮助别人进一步了解你，并加深你们之间的关系。反过来，要是你在某一个方面压抑自己的情感，它们就会从另外一个方面表露出来。这可能表现为抑郁、愤怒、焦虑，它甚至可能引起生理上的病痛。表达自己的情感本来就没什么不对。这是一个健康的行为，而不是一件令你觉得你需要遮掩的事情。事实上，表达你的情感会使你更快乐，因为它让你更好地面对生活。

Number 3 - Asking For Help or Clarification

Becoming overwhelmed from time to time is normal and something that happens to everyone. When you reach out and ask for help, it doesn't mean you are weak. It's not a reflection of your ability to handle situations. When you find yourself asking for help or clarification, you don't need to apologize. In addition, when you don't know the answer to something, admitting that you don't know can actually be empowering. It shows the other person that you are open-minded and willing to learn. It also shows that you are humble. And, if someone has an issue with you questioning something, most likely it's their lack of security in their knowledge.

第三，寻求帮助或要求澄清。感到不知所措是很正常的，每个人都会遇到这样的情况。向他人寻求帮助并不意味着你无能，这并不能体现你处理事情的能力。当你寻求帮助或进一步解释说明的时候，你没有必要道歉。除此之外，当你答不上某个问题时，直接承认自己不知道答案即可，这会赋予你更多的力量。因为这让他人知道，你怀着开放的心态，你有学习的意愿。这也展现了你的谦逊。如果有人对你的困惑指指点点，很可能这是因为他们对自己的知识储备感到不自信。

Number 4 - Being Honest

People often ask for an honest opinion. But what happens when you tell them what you honestly think? Usually they just get upset, and tell you that you hurt their feelings. Right? Then, of course, the first thing you do is attempt to remedy the situation by trying to somehow retract your statement. You lie and apologize for what you've said. But here's the thing… You shouldn't have to do that. They asked you for an honest opinion, and you did just that - you gave them an honest opinion. Don't feel guilty about telling the truth, and don't apologize for it either! The truth can be harsh, but it's often important. And in most cases, once they calm down, they will appreciate your honesty.

第四，诚实。人们总是会向他人寻求一个坦诚的看法。但，当你告诉他们你真实的看法时，又会怎样呢？通常，人们会感到沮丧，并且告诉你，你让他们伤心，对吧？自然而然地，接下来，你尝试去做的第一件事，就是通过“收回”自己当时说的话来进行弥补。你撒谎了，你为自己所说的话道歉。但，我要告诉你，你不应该那样做。是他们自己要向你寻求坦诚的看法的，你照着做了，你告诉了他们你的真实想法。不要因为说真话而感到愧疚，也不要因此而道歉！真相可能很残忍，但它往往很重要。在大多数情况下，一旦人们冷静下来，他们就会感激你的坦诚。

Number 5 - Other People's Behavior

Each one of us is responsible for our own actions and behaviors. You should never feel apologetic for something someone else has done - even if you feel that what they have done somehow connects to you through association. How another person acts or behaves is out of your control. Even if you feel like you want to make things better, or you feel like you are to blame, there is no need to apologize for things that others do.

五、他人的行为。我们每个人只能对自己的行为和举动负责。你从来没必要为别人做的事情感到有歉意——就算你觉得他们做的事情和你有一定关联。你无法控制别人做什么。就算你感觉你改善现有的事，或者你觉得你有一定责任，你都没有必要为他人所做的事情而道歉。

Number 6 - Taking Time To Make Decisions

These days, it seems that people have very little patience. Everyone wants everything now - right now. Nobody wants to wait for anything. People expect you to do things according to their timetable - they expect you to quickly answer questions, emails, etc. Then what happens is that you feel pressured. You end up making rash decisions because you didn't have the time to fully think things over. Do know that just because other people have these expectations, it does not mean that you have to be on standby like a bellhop. And you should never feel like you have to apologize for taking time to make a decision. You obviously want to think it over and make the right one - one that is responsible and informed.

第六，花时间做决定。如今，貌似人们几乎没有耐心。每个人都获得一切，现在，马上。没有人想为任何事情等待。人们期待你根据他们的日程来做事，他们期待你迅速地回答问题，回复邮件，等等。结果就是，你感到压力很大，你做出一些草率的决定，因为你没有足够的时间去充分考虑并做出一个正确的选择，一个在充分知情的情况下做出的、负责任的选择。

Number 7 - Taking Time Out For Yourself

To avoid burning out from the day-to-day grind of life, we all need some time for ourselves. Taking time out for yourself is an important part of self-care and it will help you in other areas of your life. Having said that, we are all different, and the amount of space we need for ourselves varies from person to person. In any case, you don't need to apologize for taking time to recharge. Take the time you need and don't allow yourself to be consumed with feelings of guilt over it.

第七，为自己留出时间。为了避免自己在日复一日的痛苦中透支，我们都需要给自己留出一些时间。为你自己腾出一些时间，是自我关爱的重要组成部分，它会在生活中的其他方面对你有帮助。也就是说，但我们每个人都是不一样的，所以我们所需的空间也因人而异。在任何情况下，你都不需要为留出时间给自己调节修整而道歉。根据自己的需要，为自己留足时间，且不要让你自己被愧疚的感觉折磨。

Number 8 - Your Past

Your past is just that, your past. While some of your past experiences may not reflect the best of you, it doesn't mean that is who you are today. We are all on a journey through life and we make mistakes as we go - hopefully learning from them! As long as you have grown as a person, your past mistakes shouldn't be things you apologize for today.

第八，你的过去。你的过去就是你的过去。虽然你过往的经历并所体现的并不是最好的你，但这并不意味着你如今还是那样。我们都处于人生的旅途中，在前进的路上，我们会犯一些错误，但愿我们也能从中获益！只要你是一个已经成长的人，你就不应该为你过往的错误道歉。

Number 9 - Ending Unhealthy Relationships

Any relationship that has gone south where all hope is lost will have an ill effect on your life.It will have a damaging impact on your mental health. If you are in a relationship where the other person is just poison in your life, you should end it - the sooner, the better. And yes, it will be painful for a while – remembering good times that you surely shared at some point - but you have to think of the now and see things for what they are, not what they were. Don't feel guilty about it or apologize for it. Instead, surround yourself with people who appreciate, respect and care about you – people who make you feel good.

第九，结束不健康的关系。任何走入歧途的、没有任何希望的关系都会对你的人生造成消极的影响。它会对你的心理健康产生破坏性的影响。如果你处于一段对方对你的生活造成毒害的关系中，你应该结束它，越早越好。确实，它会让你痛苦一阵子，因为你总在回忆曾经一起度过的美好时光，但你必须考虑当下，审视现状，而不是曾经。不要感到愧疚，不要道歉。与此相反，你应该让自己身处那些欣赏、尊重、在乎你的、让你感觉良好的人之中。

Number 10 - Making Positive Changes

Often, people have a hard time with change- sadly, even when it's you, changing for the better. In most cases, that's because (in a way) you are predictable - they know what to expect from you, and they know how to respond to you. But there is nothing wrong with you making positive changes - you should - and you have every right to do so. It's natural to want to evolve into a better person, and there's really no need to apologize for making changes that are right for you. Even if some people find it challenging to adjust to these changes, eventually they will.

第十，做出积极的改变。通常，人们很难接受改变，就算是你的积极改变也如此，这十分令人沮丧。大多数时候，这是因为，在某种程度上，对于他们而言，你是可预测的，也就是说，他们知道对你应有什么样的期待，并且知道如何应对你。但，你做出积极的改变，这并没有什么不对，因为你应该，并且你有权这样做。想变成更优秀的人，是自然而然的事，你没有必要为自己做出的正确改变而道歉。就算有些人很难适应这些改变，最终他们都会适应的。