演讲MP3+双语文稿:我们为什么会生气？生气有什么好处
听力课堂TED音频栏目主要包括TED演讲的音频MP3及中英双语文稿，供各位英语爱好者学习使用。本文主要内容为演讲MP3+双语文稿:我们为什么会生气？生气有什么好处，希望你会喜欢！
【演讲人】Ryan Martin
【演讲主题】《生气有什么好？答案真是千奇百怪》
【演讲文稿-中英文】
翻译者Yi Qin校对Jingdan Niu
00:13
Alright, so I want you to imagine that you get a text from a friend, and it reads ..."You will NOT believe what just happened. I'm SO MAD right now!"So you do the dutiful thing as a friend, and you ask for details.And they tell you a story about what happened to themat the gym or at work or on their date last night.And you listen and you try to understand why they're so mad.Maybe even secretly judge whether or not they should be so mad.
让我们一起想象一下， 如果你的朋友发给你一条短信说，“你不会相信刚刚发生了什么！ 我现在好生气！”所以你尽了作为一个朋友的义务， 询问具体的细节。然后他们告诉了你 他们在健身房，在工作场所或昨晚的约会上所发生的事情。你认真聆听，并试图搞清楚 是什么让他们这么生气。也许你也在偷偷地评判 他们应不应该这么生气。
00:38
(Laughter)
（笑声）
00:41
And maybe you even offer some suggestions.Now, in that moment, you are doing essentially what I get to do every day,because I'm an anger researcher,and as an anger researcher, I spend a good part of my professional life --who am I kidding, also my personal life --studying why people get mad.I study the types of thoughts they have when they get mad,and I even study what they do when they get mad,whether it's getting into fights or breaking things,or even yelling at people in all caps on the internet.
也许你甚至会提供一些建议。在那个时刻，你们在做的事情 基本是我每天都要做的，因为我是一个研究愤怒的人，作为一个愤怒研究者， 我花费了职业生涯大部分的时间——开什么玩笑， 也是我个人的大部分时间——来研究人们为什么生气。我研究了他们生气时的所有想法，我甚至还研究了当他们生气时的行为，不管是开始打架或者摔东西，或者是用全部大写的强调语气 对着网友大骂一通。
01:08
(Laughter)
（笑声）
01:09
And as you can imagine,when people hear I'm an anger researcher,they want to talk to me about their anger,they want to share with me their anger stories.And it's not because they need a therapist,though that does sometimes happen,it's really because anger is universal.It's something we all feel and it's something they can relate to.We've been feeling it since the first few months of life,when we didn't get what we wanted in our cries of protests,things like, "What do you mean you won't pick up the rattle, Dad,I want it!"
所以你可以想象当人们知道我是一个愤怒研究者时，他们想要跟我聊聊他们的愤怒，他们想要跟我分享他们的愤怒故事。这不是因为他们需要一个心理医师，虽然有时候的确是这样，但事实上是因为愤怒是普遍的。这是我们都能感觉到 而且都能理解的某种东西。我们从出生的前几个月 就开始感受到愤怒了，就比如当我们在无法得到我们 想要的东西时，我们抗议地哭泣，就像是说“你为啥不拿拨浪鼓啊老爸？我要它！”
01:36
(Laughter)
（笑声）
01:38
We feel it throughout our teenage years, as my mom can certainly attest to with me.Sorry, Mom.We feel it to the very end.In fact, anger has been with us at some of the worst moments of our lives.It's a natural and expected part of our grief.But it's also been with us in some of the best moments of our lives,with those special occasions like weddings and vacationsoften marred by these everyday frustrations --bad weather, travel delays --that feel horrible in the moment,but then are ultimately forgotten when things go OK.
我们在青少年岁月中一直 在感受它，老妈可以给我作证。对不住啦，老妈。我们一直到生命的尽头 都一直在感受它。事实上，愤怒在我们人生中 一些最糟糕的时刻都如影随形。这是在我们人生中一种 自然且可预见的部分。但是，它在我们人生中某些 最好的时刻也同样如影随形，比如在婚礼或者假期等特殊场合中通常会被一些时常发生的 意外坏了兴致——比如坏天气，旅途中的延误——在这些时候我们都感觉很糟糕，但是这些不愉快的事情 最终总会在事情好转后被忘记。
02:09
I have a lot of conversations with people about their angerand it's through those conversations that I've learned that many people,and I bet many people in this room right now,you see anger as a problem.You see the way it interferes in your life,the way it damages relationships, maybe even the ways it's scary.And while I get all of that, I see anger a little differently,and today, I want to tell you something really importantabout your anger, and it's this:anger is a powerful and healthy force in your life.It's good that you feel it.You need to feel it.
我和许多人进行了很多 关于他们的愤怒的谈话，在这些谈话之中我认识到， 在很多人心里，我可以打赌，就现在 这个房间中的很多人，愤怒被你们看做是一个问题。你们认为愤怒干扰了你们的生活，它破坏了人际关系， 甚至可能你们认为它很吓人。在我理解你们这些观点的同时， 我对愤怒的看法有一点不同，今天，我要告诉你们 一些真的很重要的关乎你们的愤怒的事情，是这样的：愤怒是我们生活中 一种强大而又健康的力量。你能感觉到它，这很好。你需要去感受它。
02:39
But to understand all that, we actually have to back upand talk about why we get mad in the first place.A lot of this goes back to the work of an anger researchernamed Dr. Jerry Deffenbacher, who wrote about this back in 1996in a book chapter on how to deal with problematic anger.Now, for most of us, and I bet most of you,it feels as simple as this:I get mad when I'm provoked.You hear it in the language people use.They say things like,"It makes me so mad when people drive this slow,"or, "I got mad because she left the milk out again."Or my favorite,"I don't have an anger problem -- people just need to stop messing with me."
但是，若想要完全理解它， 我们需要退一步，先来谈一谈为什么我们会生气。这个话题的很大一部分要 追溯到一位愤怒研究者的著作。Jerry Deffenbacher博士 在1996年写了这本关于愤怒这方面的书，在该书的一个章节里面他提到了 如何处理有问题的愤怒。对于我们中的大部分来说，， 我敢打赌你们中的大部分人对于愤怒的感觉是这样：当我被激怒时，我会变得很生气。你会在人们所用的语言中感受到它。他们会说这样的话，“那些人开车开得这么慢， 让我好生气！”或者说，“我这么生气 是因为她又忘了把牛奶放回冰箱！”我最爱这种说法，“我没有愤怒的问题——只希望其他人不要再干预我的事了。”
03:14
(Laughter)
（笑声）
03:16
Now, in the spirit of better understanding those types of provocations,I ask a lot of people, including my friends and colleagues and even family,"What are the things that really get to you?What makes you mad?"By the way, now is a good time to point out one of the advantagesof being an anger researcheris that I've spent more than a decade generating a comprehensive listof all the things that really irritate my colleagues.Just in case I need it.
回到现在，为了更好地理解 这些让人恼怒的类型，我问了很多人，包括 我的朋友，同事，甚至是家人，“什么事情能真的惹到你？什么能让你特别生气？”顺便说一下，现在是一个很好的时机来指出作为一名 愤怒研究人员的一个优势，那就是我花了十多年的时间，列出了所有真正让 我的同事感到愤怒的事情。以防万一我要用到。
03:40
(Laughter)
（笑声）
03:44
But their answers are fascinating,because they say things like,"when my sports team loses,""people who chew too loudly."That is surprisingly common, by the way."People who walk too slowly," that one's mine.And of course, "roundabouts."Roundabouts --
但他们所给出的答案十分有趣，因为他们给出的答案是：“当我喜欢的队伍输了我生气，”“那些人吃饭吧唧嘴让我生气。”顺带一提，这是十分普遍的答案。“那些人走路太慢让我生气”， 这是我的答案。还有，“说话拐弯抹角让我生气”。拐弯抹角——
04:03
(Laughter)
（笑声）
04:05
I can tell you honestly, there is no rage like roundabout rage.
我可以坦诚的说，世界上没有一种愤怒 比得上对说话拐弯抹角的怒气！
04:08
(Laughter)
（笑声）
04:11
Sometimes their answers aren't minor at all.Sometimes they talk about racism and sexism and bullyingand environmental destruction -- big, global problems we all face.But sometimes,their answers are very specific, maybe even oddly specific."That wet line you get across your shirtwhen you accidentally lean against the counter of a public bathroom."
有的时候他们的答案非常重要。有时候他们的答案涉及到 种族歧视，性别歧视和霸凌，还有环境破坏——这些都是我们 所要共同面对的全球性重要问题。但有时候，他们的答案十分详细， 甚至详细得不同寻常。“当你一不小心靠在了 公共浴室的柜台上 ，那条留在你衣服上的水渍 令人十分恼火。”
04:32
(Laughter)
（笑声）
04:33
Super gross, right?
超级恶心，对不对？
04:35
(Laughter)
（笑声）
04:37
Or "Flash drives: there's only two ways to plug them in,so why does it always take me three tries?"
或者说“ U盘这东西， 只有两种方式插进去，为什么它老是要我试三次 才能插进去呢？”
04:42
(Laughter)
（笑声）
04:47
Now whether it's minor or major, whether it's general or specific,we can look at these examplesand we can tease out some common themes.We get angry in situations that are unpleasant,that feel unfair, where our goals are blocked,that could have been avoided, and that leave us feeling powerless.This is a recipe for anger.But you can also tellthat anger is probably not the only thing we're feeling in these situations.Anger doesn't happen in a vacuum.We can feel angry at the same time that we're scared or sad,or feeling a host of other emotions.
无论这些问题重要与否， 不管它详细与否，我们都可以通过研究这些样本挖掘出一些共同的主题。我们在令人不愉快的情况下会生气，在感到不公时，在无法 达到目标的情况下会生气，尤其是当这些都可以避免， 让我们感觉到无力时我们会生气。这就是愤怒的组成。但是你也可以分辨出愤怒也许不是我们在这些场景中 所感受到的唯一东西。愤怒不会凭空而来。我们在感到害怕或者 伤心的同时会感到愤怒，或者当感受到一大堆其他情绪的同时。
05:19
But here's the thing:these provocations -- they aren't making us mad.At least not on their own,and we know that, because if they were,we'd all get angry over the same things, and we don't.The reasons I get angry are different than the reasons you get angry,so there's got to be something else going on.What is that something else?Well, we know what we're doing and feeling at the moment of that provocation matters.We call this the pre-anger state -- are you hungry, are you tired,are you anxious about something else, are you running late for something?When you're feeling those things,those provocations feel that much worse.But what matters most is not the provocation,it's not the pre-anger state, it's this:it's how we interpret that provocation,it's how we make sense of it in our lives.
但是要注意一点：这些刺激其实并不会让我们生气。至少不是唯一的原因，因为我们知道， 如果它们是生气的原因，我们会一直因为同一件 事情而生气，但是我们并没有。我生气的理由和你的不同，所以一定有其它因素在起作用。这些因素是什么呢？在受到刺激的时候， 我们知道自己的行为和想法。我们将这种状态称作“预生气状态”——你饿吗？你累吗？你对其他事物感到焦虑吗？ 你快要迟到了吗？当你感受到了这些事情的时候，你会对这些刺激因素感觉更糟糕。但是最重要的不是这些挑因素，也不是“预生气状态”，而是这个：是我们如何去理解这些挑衅，是我们在生活中如何去理解它。
06:04
When something happens to us,we first decide, is this good or bad?Is it fair or unfair, is it blameworthy, is it punishable?That's primary appraisal, it's when you evaluate the event itself.We decide what it means in the context of our livesand once we've done that, we decide how bad it is.That's secondary appraisal.We say, "Is this the worst thing that's ever happened,or can I cope with this?
当我们遭遇了一些事情的时候，我们首先会思考，这是好事还是坏事？这是公平的吗？ 是应该受到谴责和惩罚的吗？当你对这件事本身进行评估时， 这就是最原始的评估。我们基于人生的经历 去理解这件事情的意义，并且只要我们完成这个过程， 就可以定义这件事情糟糕的程度。这是第二级的评估。我们在考虑，“这是 有史以来最糟糕的事情吗？我可以应付得了吗？”
06:28
Now, to illustrate that, I want you to imagine you are driving somewhere.And before I go any further, I should tell you,if I were an evil geniusand I wanted to create a situation that was going to make you mad,that situation would look a lot like driving.
为了说明这一点，我想让大家 想象一下你正在开车去某个地方。我要先提醒你，如果我是一个邪恶的天才，而且我想创造一个 能让你恼怒的情境，这个情境看起来会和开车很像。
06:43
(Laughter)
（笑声）
06:44
It's true.You are, by definition, on your way somewhere,so everything that happens -- traffic, other drivers, road construction --it feels like it's blocking your goals.There are all these written and unwritten rules of the road,and those rules are routinely violated right in front of you,usually without consequence.And who's violating those rules?Anonymous others, people you will never see again,making them a very easy target for your wrath.
这是真的。按照假设，你在去某个地方的路上，所以在途中所发生的一切——堵车，其他司机，道路施工——都像是在阻碍你去往目的地。在路上也有很多明文规定的 或者约定俗成的规矩，但这些规则都经常 在你面前被其他人违反，违规后通常是没有后果的。谁在违反规则呢？不知名的其他人， 你永远不会再见第二次的人，很容易就让他们变成了 你怒气发泄的目标。
07:10
(Laughter)
（笑声）
07:11
So you're driving somewhere, thus teed up to be angry,and the person in front of you is driving well below the speed limit.And it's frustratingbecause you can't really see why they're driving so slow.That's primary appraisal.You've looked at this and you've said it's bad and it's blameworthy.But maybe you also decide it's not that big a deal.You're not in a hurry, doesn't matter.That's secondary appraisal -- you don't get angry.
所以，如果你正在开车 去某个地方，你会准备变得生气，并且在你前面的那个人的 速度远远低于限速。这很让人不满，因为你真的不理解 他们为什么开得这么慢。这就是初始的评估。你关注到了这一件事，并且你已经 判断出了这是件坏事，值得被责备。但你也可能判断这不是那么严重。你不急，没关系。这是第二级的评估——你不会生气。
07:37
But now imagine you're on your way to a job interview.What that person is doing, it hasn't changed, right?So primary appraisal doesn't change; still bad, still blameworthy.But your ability to cope with it sure does.Because all of a sudden,you're going to be late to that job interview.All of a sudden,you are not going to get your dream job,the one that was going to give you piles and piles of money.
但现在想象一下你在 去一个工作面试的路上。那个人行为并没有发生变化，对吗？所以初级评估并没有变化， 还是坏的，还是值得责备的。但是你去应对它的能力一定发生了变化。因为突然之间，你就要在工作面试中迟到了。突然之间，你可能得不到自己梦想的工作了，那个能够给你一沓又一沓钱的工作啊。
08:00
(Laughter)
（笑声）
08:01
Somebody else is going to get your dream joband you're going to be broke.You're going to be destitute.Might as well stop now, turn around, move in with your parents.
其他人将要拿到这份工作了，然后你就要破产了。你就要成为穷苦人家了。也许要现在停下来，转身回去， 和你的爸妈一起住。
08:10
(Laughter)
（笑声）
08:12
Why?"Because of this person in front of me.This is not a person, this is a monster."
为什么呢？“因为这个在我前面慢慢开的人。他不是人啊，是个魔鬼啊！”
08:17
(Laughter)
（笑声）
08:18
And this monster is here just to ruin your life.
而且这个怪兽的出现 就是为了毁掉你的生活。
08:22
(Laughter)
（笑声）
08:23
Now that thought process,it's called catastrophizing, the one where we make the worst of things.And it's one of the primary types of thoughts that we knowis associated with chronic anger.But there's a couple of others.Misattributing causation.Angry people tend to put blame where it doesn't belong.Not just on people,but actually inanimate objects as well.And if you think that sound ridiculous,think about the last time you lost your car keys and you said,"Where did those car keys go?"Because you know they ran off on their own.
这个思考的过程叫做灾难化，它是我们把事情 做到最糟糕的情况。并且它是我们所知道的 与长期愤怒联系在一起的主要思考方式之一。但还有其他几种类型。比如，错误归因：愤怒的人们常常责备毫不相关的事情。不仅仅是针对人，也针对无生命的物体上。如果你觉得这听起来很可笑，想想上次你丢了 车钥匙的时候，你说“车钥匙滚哪去了？”因为你知道它们是自己走丢的。
08:53
(Laughter)
（笑声）
08:56
They tend to overgeneralize, they use words like "always,""never," "every," "this always happens to me,""I never get what I want"or "I hit every stoplight on the way here today."Demandingness: they put their own needs ahead of the needs of others:"I don't care why this person is driving so slow,they need to speed up or move over so I can get to this job interview."And finally, inflammatory labeling.They call people fools, idiots, monsters,or a whole bunch of things I've been told I'm not allowed to sayduring this TED Talk.
愤怒的人们倾向于过度归纳， 他们用一些像“经常”“从不”，“每一次都”，“这永远都发生在我身上”，“我从来得不到我要的”或者“我今天遇到了路上 所有的红灯！”之类的话。又比如，过度苛责：愤怒的人将他们 自己的需求放在他人需求之前：“我不关心这个人为什么开得这么慢，他需要加速或者挪开， 这样我就可以按时参加面试！”最后一个，给人贴使人激怒的标签。他们叫其他人傻子，蠢货，怪兽，或者一大堆今天在演讲中我不能公开说的东西。
09:26
(Laughter)
（笑声）
09:27
So for a long time,psychologists have referred to these as cognitive distortionsor even irrational beliefs.And yeah, sometimes they are irrational.Maybe even most of the time.But sometimes, these thoughts are totally rational.There is unfairness in the world.There are cruel, selfish people,and it's not only OK to be angry when we're treated poorly,it's right to be angry when we're treated poorly.
所以，在很长一段时间里，心理学家把这些称为认知扭曲，或者甚至是不合逻辑的信念。的确是啊，他们本身 有时候就是不合逻辑的。也许甚至是大多数时候。但是有时候，他们的想法 又是完全符合逻辑的。世界上的确有不公平。的确有残忍的，自私的人，当我们被恶劣地对待时， 变得生气不仅仅是可以接受的，更是正确的。
