演讲MP3+双语文稿:一名陪审员对死刑的思考
听力课堂TED音频栏目主要包括TED演讲的音频MP3及中英双语文稿，供各位英语爱好者学习使用。本文主要内容为演讲MP3+双语文稿:一名陪审员对死刑的思考，希望你会喜欢！
【演讲者及介绍】Lindy Lou Isonhood
1994年，林迪·卢·伊索胡德(Lindy LouIsonhood)在一起谋杀案的审判中担任陪审员2号，这段经历改变了她的一生
【演讲主题】陪审员对死刑的思考
【中英文字幕】
翻译者 Nancy Cai 校对者 Max Liu
00:13
It was a Thursday, June the 23rd, 1994.
那是1994 年，6 月 23 日，一个周四。
00:23
(Sighs)
（叹息）
00:24
"Collect your belongings. You are freeto go. When escorted outside, go directly to your car. Do not talk toreporters."
“收拾好你的东西，你可以离开了。被护送出去之后，直接上车，不要和记者说话。”
00:36
My head is spinning, my heart is racing, Ican't get a breath. I just want out of there. When I get to my car, I throweverything on the back, and I just collapse into the driver's seat. "Ican't do this. I can't go home to my family that I haven't seen in a week andpretend to be happy." Not even their love and support could help me atthis particular time.
我的头有点眩晕，我的心跳很快，我快要不能呼吸了，我只想离开那里。上车后，我把所有东西都扔到后座，直接瘫倒在驾驶座上。“我不能这么做，我有一周没见到我的家人了，我不能回家对他们强颜欢笑。”即使是他们的爱和支持，此时此刻也不能帮我解脱。
01:19
We had just sentenced a man to death. Nowwhat? Just go home and wash dishes?
我们刚刚对一个人判了死刑，现在呢？回家继续若无其事地生活吗？
01:32
You see, in Mississippi, the death penaltyis like a part of our unspoken culture. The basic logic is, if you murdersomeone, then you're going to receive the death penalty. So when the juryselection process took place, they asked me, "Could you, if the evidencepresented justified the death penalty, could you deliver, rationally andwithout reservations, a penalty of death?" My answer was an astounding"yes," and I was selected as Juror Number 2.
要知道，在密西西比，死刑就像是我们的文化中不能谈论的一部分。基本逻辑就是，如果你谋杀了别人，那你就要被处以死刑。于是，在选择陪审团的过程中，他们问我，“当呈现的证据支持死刑时，你能够理性地、没有疑虑地支持死刑吗？”我斩钉截铁地回答，“是的”，于是我被选作 2 号陪审员。
02:26
The trial started. From the evidence beingpresented and from the pictures of the victim, my first response was, "Yes,this man is a monster, and he deserves the death penalty." For days, I satand looked at his hands, the ones that yielded the knife, and against his pastywhite skin, his eyes ... Well, he spent endless days in his cell, no sunlight,so his eyes were as black as his hair and his mustache. He was veryintimidating, and there was absolutely no doubt in his guilt.
审判开始了，从呈现的证据中，还有被害者的照片中，我的第一反应就是，“是的，这个人是个怪物，他理应被判处死刑。”在很多天里，我曾经坐在那儿看着他的双手，就是那双持刀的手。在他苍白的皮肤的映衬下，他的眼睛……他在牢房里呆了无数天，没有阳光，所以他的眼睛就像他的头发和胡子那么黑。他很吓人，他的罪行也毋庸置疑。
03:21
But regardless of his guilt, as the dayspassed, I began to see this monster as a human being. Something inside of mewas changing that I just didn't understand. I was beginning to question myselfas to whether or not I wanted to give this man the death penalty.
但是无论他是否有罪，随着日子一天天过去，我开始把他当作一个人来看待，而不再是一个怪物。我内心发生了一些我自己都不理解的变化。我开始问我自己，我到底想不想对这个人判处死刑。
03:47
Jury deliberations began, and the judgegave us jury instructions and it was to be used as a tool in how to reach averdict. Well, using this tool only led to one decision, and that was the deathpenalty. I felt backed into a corner. My head and my heart were in conflictwith each other, and the thought of the death penalty made me sick. However,following the judge's instructions, being a law-abiding person, I gave up. Igave up and voted along with the other 11 jurors. And there it was: our brokenjudicial system at work.
陪审团审议开始了，法官给了我们陪审团指南，它是一个工具，用来帮我们达成判决。于是，根据它，我们只做了一个判决，就是死刑。我感觉自己被困在了一个角落里，我的思想和内心在打架，一想到死刑我就觉得反感。但是，我是个遵纪守法的人，我遵循了法官的指示，我放弃了自己的立场。我和其他的 11 个陪审员投了一样的票，这就是，我们破碎的司法系统的真实场景。
04:50
So here I am in my car, and I'm wondering:How is my life ever going to be the same? My life was kids, work, church, ballgames -- just your average, normal, everyday life. Now everything felt trivial.I was going down this rabbit hole. The anger, the anxiety, the guilt, thedepression ... it just clung to me. I knew that my life had to resume, so Isought counseling. The counselor diagnosed me with PTSD and told me that thebest way to overcome the PTSD was to talk about the trauma. However, if Italked or tried to talk about the trauma outside her office, I was shut down.No one wanted to hear about it. He was just a murderer. Get over it. It wasthen that I decided to become a silent survivor.
于是我坐在车里，痛苦地想，我的生活还怎么能再像以前一样？曾经我的生活就是围绕着孩子，工作，教堂，球赛——就是再普通不过的日常生活。现在所有事都变得微不足道了。我掉进了一个兔子洞，我感到愤怒，焦虑，愧疚，抑郁……它紧紧地抓着我。我知道我必须让我的生活重新步入正轨，所以我寻求了心理咨询。心理咨询师将我诊断为 PTSD （创伤后应激障碍），并告诉我，克服 PTSD 最好的办法就是与人讨论那次创伤。但是，出了她的办公室，一旦我试图谈论那次创伤，我就会被制止。没人愿意听，他就是个杀人犯，忘了这件事吧。于是从那时起，我决定做一个沉默的幸存者。
06:06
Twelve years later, 2006, I learned thatBobby Wilcher had dropped all of his appeals, and his execution date wasapproaching. That was like a punch in the stomach. All of those buried feelingsjust started coming back. To try and find peace, I called Bobby's attorney, andI said, "Can I see Bobby before he's executed?"
12 年后的 2006 年，我了解到 BobbyWilcher 放弃了所有的上诉，他的处决日期已经临近了。这就像是当头一棒，所有那些被压抑下去的感觉一下子又回来了，为了寻求内心的平和，我给 Bobby 的律师打了电话，说“在处决之前，我能见 Bobby 一面吗？”
06:36
Driving to the penitentiary on the day ofhis execution, in my mind, Bobby was going to be manic. But, surprisingly, hewas very calm. And for two hours, he and I sat there and talked about life, andI got to ask him to forgive me for my hand in his death. His words to me were:"You don't have to apologize. You didn't put me here. I did this myself. Butif it'll make you feel better, I forgive you."
在他被处决的当天，我在去往看守所的路上不禁想象，Bobby 一定像一个疯子。但是，令我惊讶的是，他十分平静。两个小时里，他和我坐在那里谈论生活，我得以寻求他的原谅，因为我对他的死负有责任。他对我说的是，“你不必抱歉，不是你让我变成这样的，是我自己。但是我原谅你，如果这能让你感觉好一点。”
07:19
On my way home, I stopped by a restaurantand bought a margarita.
回家的路上，我在一个餐馆停下来，买了一杯玛格丽塔（鸡尾酒），
07:24
(Laughter)
（笑）
07:29
I don't think I could get one big enough --
我觉得一杯还不够——
07:31
(Laughter)
（笑）
07:32
to try and calm down. My phone rang. It wasBobby's attorney. Within two minutes of his execution, they had given him astay. This stay gave me time to reach out to Bobby. And as crazy as it maysound, we became friends. Three months later, he was executed by the State ofMississippi.
让我平静下来。我的电话响了，是 Bobby 的律师，在他处决前的两分钟里，他们给了他一个缓刑。这个缓刑让我有时间联系到了 Bobby。听起来似乎很疯狂，但我们成为了朋友。三个月后，他在密西西比州被处决。
08:07
I'm here to tell you my story, because itwas precisely 22 years later that I even wanted to open up enough to talk aboutit, when a friend encouraged me. "Hey, perhaps you need to talk to theother jurors. You've been through the same experience."
我来这里向你们讲述我的故事是因为，整整 22 年后，我才有足够的勇气去谈论这件事。一个朋友鼓励我说，“也许你应该和其他的陪审员聊聊，你们都经历了同一件事。”
08:33
Uncertain of what I was after, I did needto talk to them. So I set out on my quest, and I actually found most of them.The first juror I met thought that Bobby got what he deserved. Another juror --well, they just kind of regretted that it took so long to carry the sentenceout. Then one juror, and I don't know what was wrong with him, but he didn'tremember anything about the trial.
我不确定结果怎样，但我确实需要和他们谈谈。于是我开始实行我的计划，我确实找到了他们中的大部分人。我见到的第一个陪审员，觉得 Bobby 罪有应得，另一位陪审员——他们觉得遗憾的是处决被拖得太久了。有一位陪审员，我不知道他出了什么毛病，他完全不记得那场审判了。
09:04
(Laughter)
（笑）
09:06
Well, I'm thinking in my mind, "Jeez,is this the response I'm gonna get from everybody else?"
于是我心里想，“老天，难道我从所有人那里听到的都将是这样的回答吗？”
09:15
Well, thank God for Allen. Allen was agentle soul. And when I talked to him, he was genuinely upset about ourdecision. And he told me about the day that the devastation really set in onhim and hit him. He was listening to the radio, and the radio had a list ofnames of men to be executed at Parchman Penitentiary. He heard Bobby's name,and he then truly realized what he had done. And he said, "You know, I hada responsibility in that man's death." Now here it is, 20-something yearslater, and Allen is still dealing with that issue. And he's never told anyoneabout it, not even his wife. He also told me that if the State of Mississippiwanted to keep the death penalty, then hey, they needed to provide counselingfor the jurors.
感谢上帝，我找到了 Allen，Allen 是一个感性的人。他告诉我，他对我们的决定感到难过，他说，那天对他来说是一个沉重的打击。他听广播时，听到了在 Parchman 看守所即将被处决的犯人名单。他听到了 Bobby 的名字，然后他才真正意识到他做了什么，他对我说，“我对那个人的死负有责任。”现在，20 多年后，Allen 仍然被这件事困扰，他从来没和任何人谈论过，哪怕是他的妻子。他还告诉我，如果密西西比州要继续保留死刑，他们得为陪审员提供心理咨询。
10:24
Then the next juror I met was Jane. Jane isnow totally against the death penalty, And there was Bill. Bill said he hadthis crushing depression for weeks, and when he went back to work, hiscolleagues would say things to him like, "Hey, did you fry him?" Tothem, it was just a joke. Then there was Jon. Jon said his decision weighed onhim, and it burdened him daily.
我接下来见到的陪审员是 Jane，Jane 现在坚决反对死刑。还有 Bill, Bill 说他连续抑郁了好几周，当他回去工作时，他的同事会对他说，“你有没有把他煎了？”对他们来说，这只是一个玩笑。还有 Jon, Jon 说，那个决定对他的影响很大，每天都让他有负担。
10:58
The final juror that I spoke to was Ken.Ken was the foreman of the jury. When we sat down to talk, it was apparent thathe was deeply saddened by what we were required to do. He relived the day thathe left the courthouse and he drove home and he went to put his key in his doorand unlock it, and he said he literally broke down. He said he knew that Bobbywas guilty, but the decision he made, he did not know if it was the rightdecision. And he said that he played it over and over in his head. Did we dothe right thing? Did we do the right thing? Did we do the right thing?
我找到的最后一位陪审员是 Ken，Ken 是陪审团的领队。当我们坐下来讨论时，很明显他对于我们不得不做的决定感到十分难过，他又重新讲述了一遍那天的情景，他离开法庭，开车回到家，把钥插进门孔，打开门，他说，他真的崩溃了。他说他知道 Bobby 是有罪的，但是他做出的那个决定，他不知道是不是正确的。他说他在脑子里一遍遍地回想，我们做的是正确的吗？我们做的是正确的吗？我们做的是正确的吗？
11:55
(Sighs)
（叹息）
11:58
All those years, and I finally realizedthat I was not the only disillusioned juror. And we talked about sharing ourexperience with potential jurors to give them some insight into what to expect,and to tell them do not be complacent; to know what you believe; to know whereyou stand and be prepared, because you don't want to walk in one morning as ajuror and leave at the end of the trial feeling like a murderer.
这么多年，我终于意识到，我不是唯一一个心灰意冷的陪审员。我们觉得应该和别的陪审员 分享我们的经历，以便让他们有一个预期，告诉他们不要自以为是，要知道你自己相信什么，知道你的立场，并做好准备。因为你不想早上作为一个陪审员来到法庭，到了审判结束时，感觉像是一个杀人犯。
12:42
Now, through this storm in my life, I didfind some inspiration, and it came in the form of my granddaughters. My14-year-old granddaughter, Maddie, was writing an essay on the death penaltyfor school, and she was asking me questions. Well, it dawned on me that thischild was being raised in the same eye-for-an-eye culture as I was, or hadbeen. And so I explained my experience to her this way: that I had sentencedsomeone to death as I served on a jury. And I asked her, "Did that make mea murderer?" She couldn't answer.
经历了生命中的这场风波，我也收获了一些感悟，是从我外孙女身上得出的。我的外孙女，Maddie，今年 14 岁，她要写一篇学校的作文，是关于死刑的，她问了我一些问题，我意识到，和我一样，她也是在这种“以牙还牙”的观念中长大的，曾经 我也是。于是我这样向她解释，作为一个陪审员，我给一个人判了死刑。然后我问她，“这样我是不是就变成了一个杀人犯？”她不知道怎么回答，
13:31
I knew then that this topic needed to beopen for discussion. And guess what happened? I got invited to speak, justrecently, in an abolitionist community. While I was there, I got a T-shirt. Itsays, "Stop Executions." Well, when I get home, my 16-year-oldgranddaughter was there, Anna, and she says, "Can I have that shirt?"Well, I looked at her dad -- her dad is my son -- and I knew that he is stilldealing with this death penalty issue. So I turned around and I looked at her,and I said, "Are you gonna wear this?" So she turned and she lookedat her dad, and she said, "Dad, I know how you feel, but I don't believein the death penalty." My son looked at me, shook his head, and said,"Thanks, Mom." And I knew it wasn't a nice "Thanks, Mom."
我意识到，这个话题需要被公开地探讨。猜猜然后发生了什么？最近我被邀请去给一个支持废除死刑的群体做演讲。在那儿，我收到了一件T恤，上面写着，“停止死刑”。我到家时，我 16 岁的孙女 Anna 看到了，她说，“能把这件衣服给我吗？”我看了看她爸爸，她爸爸就是我儿子，我知道他对于死刑的问题还有不同的看法，于是我转过身去，看着她说，“你会穿吗？”她转过身去，看着她爸爸说，“爸爸，我知道你的感受，但是我不支持死刑。”我儿子看着我，摇摇头，说，“谢了，妈。”我知道这不是真正感激的谢谢。
14:37
(Laughter)
（笑）
14:39
So I learned that life had taught me somelessons. It taught me, if I had not served on that jury, that I would still beof the same mindset. It also gave me confidence to be able to see through theeyes of my granddaughters, that this younger generation, they're capable andthey're willing to tackle these difficult social issues. And because of myexperience, my granddaughters, they're now more equipped to stand on their ownand to think for themselves than to rely on cultural beliefs.
所以，生活给了我一些启示，它教给我，如果我没有做陪审员，我的心态仍旧会是一样的。它也给了我信心，让我能通过我的孙辈的视角看到他们这年轻的一代有能力也有意愿，来解决这些棘手的社会问题。由于我的经历，我的孙女外孙女们，现在可以坚持她们自己的立场，独立思考，而不是依赖文化信仰。
15:32
So: being from a conservative, Christianfamily from a very conservative state in the United States, I am here to tellyou that the death penalty has new opponents.
所以，尽管我来自一个保守的基督教家庭，来自美国一个非常保守的州，我想告诉你们，死刑有新的对手了。
15:51
Thank you.
谢谢。
15:52
(Applause)
（鼓掌）
