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双语·月亮与六便士 第四十章

所属教程:译林版·月亮与六便士

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2022年04月25日

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For the next month, occupied with my own affairs, I saw no one connected with this lamentable business, and my mind ceased to be occupied with it. But one day, when I was walking along, bent on some errand, I passed Charles Strickland.The sight of him brought back to me all the horror which I was not unwilling to forget, and I felt in me a sudden repulsion for the cause of it.Nodding, for it would have been childish to cut him, I walked on quickly;but in a minute I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“You're in a great hurry,”he said cordially.

It was characteristic of him to display geniality with anyone who showed a disinclination to meet him, and the coolness of my greeting can have left him in little doubt of that.

“I am,”I answered briefy.

“I'll walk along with you,”he said.

“Why?”I asked.

“For the pleasure of your society.”

I did not answer, and he walked by my side silently. We continued thus for perhaps a quarter of a mile.I began to feel a little ridiculous.At last we passed a stationer's, and it occurred to me that I might as well buy some paper.It would be an excuse to be rid of him.

“I'm going in here,”I said.“Good-bye.”

“I'll wait for you.”

I shrugged my shoulders, and went into the shop. I refected that French paper was bad, and that, foiled of my purpose, I need not burden myself with a purchase I did not need.I asked for something I knew could not be provided, and in a minute came out into the street.

“Did you get what you wanted?”he asked.

“No.”

We walked on in silence, and then came to a place where several streets met. I stopped at the kerb.

“Which way do you go?”I inquired.

“Your way,”he smiled.

“I'm going home.”

“I'll come along with you and smoke a pipe.”

“You might wait for an invitation,”I retorted frigidly.

“I would if I thought there was any chance of getting one.”

“Do you see that wall in front of you?”I said, pointing.

“Yes.”

“In that case I should have thought you could see also that I don't want your company.”

“I vaguely suspected it, I confess.”

I could not help a chuckle. It is one of the defects of my character that I cannot altogether dislike anyone who makes me laugh.But I pulled myself together.

“I think you're detestable. You're the most loathsome beast that it's ever been my misfortune to meet.Why do you seek the society of someone who hates and despises you?”

“My dear fellow, what the hell do you suppose I care what you think of me?”

“Damn it all,”I said, more violently because I had an inkling my motive was none too creditable,“I don't want to know you.”

“Are you afraid I shall corrupt you?”

His tone made me feel not a little ridiculous. I knew that he was looking at me sideways, with a sardonic smile.

“I suppose you are hard up,”I remarked insolently.

“I should be a damned fool if I thought I had any chance of borrowing money from you.”

“You've come down in the world if you can bring yourself to fatter.”

He grinned.

“You'll never really dislike me so long as I give you the opportunity to get off a good thing now and then.”

I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from laughing. What he said had a hateful truth in it, and another defect of my character is that I enjoy the company of those, however depraved, who can give me a Roland for my Oliver.I began to feel that my abhorrence for Strickland could only be sustained by an effort on my part.I recognized my moral weakness, but saw that my disapprobation had in it already something of a pose;and I knew that if I felt it, his own keen instinct had discovered it too.He was certainly laughing at me up his sleeve.I left him the last word, and sought refuge in a shrug of the shoulders and taciturnity.

接下来的一个月,各种事情把我的时间都占满了,我也看不见任何一个和这件令人悲伤的事件有关系的人了,我的脑海里不再想着这个事件。但是有一天,当我正走在路上,低头专注地寻思某件事时,我跟斯特里克兰竟然打了个照面。看到他的面孔,使我回忆起了所有我希望忘记的可怕的事情,因此内心突然涌起了一阵厌恶。但假装看不见,又未免有点孩子气,所以我朝他点了点头,快步继续走我的路。然而,没过一会儿,我觉得有只手落在了我的肩膀上。

“你真的是行色匆匆呀。”他热忱地说道。

这是他典型的为人处世的方式,别人越不想搭理他,他越对人家客气友好。从我对他打招呼的冷漠态度,他清楚地知道我实在不愿意理他。

“我是很忙。”我简短地回答道。

“我和你一路走吧。”他说。

“为什么?”我问道。

“因为有你作陪我高兴呀。”

我没有回答,他一声不吭地走在我旁边,我们就这样一直走着,大约走了四分之一英里的路,我开始感到有点滑稽可笑了。最后我们路过一家文具店,我突然想起来也许我该买些纸了,这也正好是摆脱他的一个借口。

“我得进去一下,”我说,“再见。”

“我在这儿等你。”

我耸了耸肩,便走进了文具店。我一来想到法国纸不怎么好用,二来我的盘算也落空了,我没必要买一些我用不上的东西徒增负担,我随口询问了几件东西,明知这家店提供不了。然后,不一会儿就走出来,回到了街上。

“你买到你要买的东西了吗?”他问道。

“没有。”

我们继续沉默地走着,随后走到了几条街交叉的地方,我在路口停住了脚步。

“你走哪条路?”我问道。

“你走哪条我就走哪条。”他笑着说。

“我要回家了。”

“我跟你回家,抽上一袋烟。”

“那你总得等人家邀请你呀。”我生硬地顶道。

“要是我知道有被邀请的可能,我会等着的。”

“你看到前面的那堵墙了吗?”我指着前面的墙说道。

“看到了。”

“要是你能看到的话,我想你也应该看出我不想跟你一道了。”

“说实话,我猜到了这一点。”

我忍不住咯咯笑了起来。这是我性格上的一个缺点,我无法让自己讨厌一个让我发笑的人。但马上又收住笑,板起了脸。

“我觉得你这人特别可恶,简直就是最让人憎恶的野兽,倒了八辈子血霉让我碰上了你。你为什么愿意找一个不喜欢你和鄙视你的人做伴呢?”

“我亲爱的伙计,你还真以为我他妈那么在乎你是怎么看我的吗?”

“真是见鬼,”我说道,因为感觉到我的动机站不住脚,我更粗暴了,“我不想认识你。”

“你怕我会把你带坏了吗?”

他的口气让我觉得非常滑稽可笑,我知道他正从侧面看着我,带着一脸讽刺的坏笑。

“我想你手头又紧了吧?”我傲慢地说道。

“我要是还有运气从你这儿借到钱,我他妈的不是个傻瓜吗?”

“如果你不得不让自己奉承人的话,说明你已经落魄到家了。”

他咧开嘴笑了。

“只要我给你机会,时不时地让你得到好东西,你就不会不喜欢我的。”

我不得不咬紧嘴唇,才让自己没笑出声来。他说的话虽然可恨,但也有一定道理。我性格中另一个缺点,就是我喜欢跟棋逢对手的人[67]打交道,不管这人道德上多么堕落。我开始觉得我对斯特里克兰的厌恶只能够单靠我这方面的努力才能维持。我意识到自己道德上的弱点了,但是也看出我对他的非难有些故作姿态,而且我还知道,如果我自己都感觉到了这一点,斯特里克兰敏锐的天性同样也会发现它的,他肯定正在偷偷地笑我呢。我没有接他的话,耸了耸肩,没有再说什么,让他在这场斗嘴中占了上风。

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