双语·面纱 第十三章

13

The fact was, of course, that he had no charm. That was why he was not popular, and she had not been long in Hong Kong before she discovered that he was not. She remained very vague about his work. It was enough for her to realize, and she did this quite distinctly, that to be the government bacteriologist was no great fry. He seemed to have no desire to discuss that part of his life with her. Because she was willing to be interested in anything at first she had asked him about it. He put her off with a jest.

“It's very dull and technical,” he said on another occasion. “And it's grossly underpaid.”

He was very reserved. All she knew about his antecedents, his birth, his education, and his life before he met her, she had elicited by direct questioning. It was odd, the only thing that seemed to annoy him was a question; and when, in her natural curiosity, she fired a string of them at him, his answers became at everyone more abrupt. She had the wit to see that he did not care to reply because he had anything to hide from her, but merely from a natural secretiveness. It bored him to talk about himself. It made him shy and uncomfortable. He did not know how to be open. He was fond of reading, but he read books which seemed to Kitty very dull. If he was not busy with some scientific treatise he would read books about China or historical works. He never relaxed. She did not think he could. He was fond of games: he played tennis and bridge.

She wondered why he had ever fallen in love with her. She could not imagine any one less suited than herself to this restrained, cold and self-possessed man. And yet it was quite certain that he loved her madly. He would do anything in the world to please her. He was like wax in her hands. When she thought of one side he showed her, a side which only she had seen, she despised him a little. She wondered whether his sarcastic manner, with its contemptuous tolerance for so many persons and things she admired, was merely a façade to conceal a profound weakness. She supposed he was clever, everyone seemed to think he was, but except very occasionally when he was with two or three people he liked and was in the mood, she had never found him entertaining. He did not precisely bore her, he left her indifferent.

第十三章

当然，实际上他没有魅力，这也是他不怎么受欢迎的原因。她到了香港不久就发现了这一点，而且对他工作的认识依然模糊，但她能充分认识到，而且毫无疑问地明白，一个政府部门的细菌学家并非什么了不起的人物。他似乎没有和她讨论一下工作——这可是生活的一部分——的愿望。在一开始她还愿意问他一些工作方面的事，也显得很感兴趣，而他打个哈哈就把她敷衍过去了。

“那太枯燥了，完全是技术性的东西。”他有一次说道，“而且报酬非常低。”

他非常内向。她所知道的有关他的经历、出生、教育背景，和在遇见她之前的生活，都是她直截了当向他提问才打听出来的。奇怪的是，似乎让他唯一不快的就是她冷不丁的一个问题。而那个时候，她天性好奇，会连珠炮似的提问，而他的回答，一个比一个唐突。凯蒂很聪明，知道他答非所问并不是想对她隐瞒什么，而仅仅是出于天性，愿意保留一块隐秘之地。谈论他自己也让他觉得厌烦，还让他羞怯和不舒服，他不知道如何向外人敞开心扉。他喜欢读书，但他读的书在凯蒂眼中似乎很乏味，他不忙着写科学论文的时候，会读一些有关中国或者历史方面的书。他没有放松的时候，她觉得他生性中就没有放松这根弦。但他也有喜欢的运动和游戏，就是打网球和桥牌。

她纳闷他怎么会爱上自己，也无法想象自己怎么会嫁给这样一个内向、冷漠而镇静的男人，简直没有谁比她更不适合他的了。但是，有一点可以肯定，那就是他疯狂地爱着她，会不顾一切地取悦她，他有如她手上的熔蜡，可以被她随心所欲地塑造，她想让他怎样他便会怎样，她都有点儿蔑视他了。她想知道，他冷嘲热讽的习惯，对她所崇拜的人和事所带有的某种鄙视的容忍，是否仅仅是一种假象，来掩盖他骨子里的软弱。她觉得他人很聪明，大家似乎也都这样认为。但是少有的几次他和两三个自己喜欢的人在一起时兴致高起来，除此以外，她从来没有发现他真正开心过。确切地说，他并不是厌烦她，而是对她心不在焉。