双语·面纱 第二十章

20

She got out of her rickshaw in the Victoria Road and walked up the steep, narrow lane till she came to the shop. She lingered outside a moment as though her attention were attracted by the bric-à-brac which was displayed. But a boy who was standing there on the watch for customers, recognising her at once, gave her a broad smile of connivance. He said something in Chinese to some one within and the master, a little, fat-faced man in a black gown, came out and greeted her. She walked in quickly.

“Mr. Townsend no come yet. You go top-side, yes?”

She went to the back of the shop and walked up the rickety, dark stairs. The Chinese followed her and unlocked the door that led into the bedroom. It was stuffy and there was an acrid smell of opium. She sat down on a sandalwood chest.

In a moment she heard a heavy step on the creaking stairs. Townsend came in and shut the door behind him. His face bore a sullen look, as he saw her it vanished, and he smiled in that charming way of his. He took her quickly in his arms and kissed her lips.

“Now what's the trouble?”

“It makes me feel better just to see you,” she smiled.

He sat down on the bed and lit a cigarette.

“You look rather washed out this morning.”

“I don't wonder,” she answered. “I don't think I closed my eyes all night.”

He gave her a look. He was smiling still, but his smile was a little set and unnatural. She thought there was a shade of anxiety in his eyes.

“He knows,” she said.

There was an instant's pause before he answered.

“What did he say?”

“He hasn't said anything.”

“What!” He looked at her sharply. “What makes you think he knows?”

“Everything. His look. The way he talked at dinner.”

“Was he disagreeable?”

“No, on the contrary, he was scrupulously polite. For the first time since we married he didn't kiss me goodnight.”

She dropped her eyes. She was not sure if Charlie understood. As a rule Walter took her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers and would not let them go. His whole body grew tender and passionate with his kiss.

“Why do you imagine he didn't say anything?”

“I don't know.”

There was a pause. Kitty sat very still on the sandal wood box and looked with anxious attention at Townsend. His face once more was sullen and there was a frown between his brows. His mouth dropped a little at the corners. But all at once he looked up and a gleam of malicious amusement came into his eyes.

“I wonder if he is going to say anything.”

She did not answer. She did not know what he meant.

“After all, he wouldn't be the first man who's shut his eyes in a case of this sort. What has he to gain by making a row? If he'd wanted to make a row he would have insisted on coming into your room.” His eyes twinkled and his lips broke into a broad smile. “We should have looked a pair of damned fools.”

“I wish you could have seen his face last night.”

“I expect he was upset. It was naturally a shock. It's a damned humiliating position for any man. He always looks a fool. Walter doesn't give me the impression of a fellow who'd care to wash a lot of dirty linen in public.”

“I don't think he would,” she answered reflectively. “He's very sensitive, I've discovered that.”

“That's all to the good as far as we're concerned. You know, it's a very good plan to put yourself in somebody else's shoes and ask yourself how you would act in his place. There's only one way in which a man can save his face when he's in that sort of position and that is to pretend he knows nothing. I bet you anything you like that that is exactly what he's going to do.”

The more Townsend talked the more buoyant he became. His blue eyes sparkled and he was once more his gay and jovial self. He irradiated an encouraging confidence.

“Heavens knows, I don't want to say anything disagreeable about him, but when you come down to brass tacks a bacteriologist is no great shakes. The chances are that I shall be Colonial Secretary when Simmons goes home, and it's to Walter's interest to keep on the right side of me. He's got his bread and butter to think of, like the rest of us: do you think the Colonial Office are going to do much for a fellow who makes a scandal? Believe me, he's got everything to gain by holding his tongue and everything to lose by kicking up a row.”

Kitty moved uneasily. She knew how shy Walter was and she could believe that the fear of a scene, and the dread of public attention, might have influence upon him; but she could not believe that he would be affected by the thought of a material advantage. Perhaps she didn't know him very well, but Charlie didn't know him at all.

“Has it occurred to you that he's madly in love with me?”

He did not answer, but he smiled at her with roguish eyes. She knew and loved that charming look of his.

“Well, what is it? I know you're going to say something awful.”

“Well, you know, women are often under the impression that men are much more madly in love with them than they really are.”

For the first time she laughed. His confidence was catching.

“What a monstrous thing to say.”

“I put it to you that you haven't been bothering much about your husband lately. Perhaps he isn't quite so much in love with you as he was.”

“At all events I shall never delude myself that you are madly in love with me,” she retorted.

“That's where you're wong.”

Ah, how good it was to hear him say that! She knew it and her belief in his passion warmed her heart. As he spoke he rose from the bed and came and sat down beside her on the sandalwood box. He put his arm round her waist.

“Don't worry your silly little head a moment longer,” he said.“I promise you there's nothing to fear. I'm as certain as I am of anything that he's going to pretend he knows nothing. You know, this sort of thing is awfully difficult to prove. You say he's in love with you; perhaps he doesn't want to lose you altogether. I swear I'd accept anything rather than that if you were my wife.”

She leaned towards him. Her body became limp and yielding against his arm. The love she felt for him was almost torture. His last words had struck her: perhaps Walter loved her so passionately that he was prepared to accept any humiliation if sometimes she would let him love her. She could understand that; for that was how she felt towards Charlie. A thrill of pride passed through her, and at the same time a faint sensation of contempt for a man who could love so slavishly.

She put her arm lovingly round Charlie's neck.

“You're simply wonderful. I was shaking like a leaf when I came here and you've made everything all right.”

He took her face in his hand and kissed her lips.

“Darling.”

“You're such a comfort to me,” she sighed.

“I'm sure you need not be nervous. And you know I'll stand by you. I won't let you down.”

She put away her fears, but for an instant unreasonably she regretted that her plans for the future were shattered. Now that all danger was past she almost wished that Walter were going to insist on a divorce.

“I knew I could count on you,” she said.

“So I should hope.”

“Oughtn't you to go and have your tiffin?”

“Oh, damn my tiffin.”

He drew her more closely to him and now she was held tight in his arms. His mouth sought hers.

“Oh, Charlie, you must let me go.”

“Never.”

She gave a little laugh, a laugh of happy love and of triumph; his eyes were heavy with desire. He lifted her to her feet and not letting her go but holding her close to his breast he locked the door.

第二十章

她在维多利亚路就下了黄包车，沿着陡峭、狭窄的小巷向坡上走去，直到来到了古董店的门前。她在店外逡巡了一会儿，好像被橱窗内展示的小古玩摆件所吸引。但站在门口招呼顾客的一位伙计很快就认出了她，毫不吝啬地给了她一个灿烂的笑容。他用中文冲着店里说了些什么，店主马上迎了出来，他是个个头矮小、长着一张肥嘟嘟的脸、穿着黑色马褂的男人。她快速走进了店里。

“汤森先生还没到，您楼上请，可以吗？”

她走到了店铺的后面，爬上了摇摇晃晃的漆黑楼梯。中国店主跟着她，然后锁上了通向卧室的门。里面空气污浊，还有股刺鼻的鸦片烟的味道。她在一个檀香木的箱子上坐了下来。

不一会儿工夫，她听到从吱呀作响的楼梯上传来一阵沉重的脚步声。查理进来了，随手关上了身后的房门。他阴沉着脸，但当看见她时，他脸上的阴霾马上消失了。他用他那独有的迷人方式微笑了起来，很快把她揽入怀中，开始亲吻她的双唇。

“现在告诉我，你遇到什么麻烦了？”

“只有见到你，才会让我觉得好受些。”她的脸上也露出了笑容。

他坐到了床边，点上了一支香烟。

“今天上午你听上去好像心力交瘁。”

“我也不知道为什么。”她回答道，“我觉得我一晚上都没合眼。”

他看了她一眼，微笑虽然还挂在脸上，但笑容有点儿僵硬和不自然。她也看出他的眼里闪烁着焦虑。

“他发现了。”她说道。

在他回答之前，又有一阵子的沉默。

“他说了什么吗？”

“他什么也没说。”

“什么！”他恶狠狠地看着她，“那你凭什么说他发现了？”

“一切迹象都表明他发现了我们俩的事儿，他的表情，他在晚餐时说话的口气。”

“他跟你找碴儿吗？”

“不，恰恰相反，他处处显得彬彬有礼，自从我们结婚以来，他头一回没有吻我、跟我道晚安。”

她垂下眼帘，无法确定查理是否能够理解她所说的话。通常情况下，沃尔特会紧紧地抱着她，把他的双唇压在她的唇上，久久不放开，这时他的整个身体由于亲吻变得温柔和充满激情。

“那你觉得为什么他什么都不说？”

“我不知道。”

两人又沉默了片刻。凯蒂直愣愣地坐在檀香木箱子上，充满焦虑地看着查理。他的脸色再一次变得阴沉下来，眉头紧皱，嘴角向下耷拉着。但是，不一会儿，他又目视上方，恶作剧般的目光在闪烁。

“我真想知道他会说些什么。”

她没有答话，不知道他什么意思。

“不管怎么说，他不会是第一个对这种事睁一只眼闭一只眼的男人。大吵一架对他有什么好处呢？如果他想闹，当初就一定会坚持要进你的房间。”他眨着双眼，咧嘴又笑了起来，“那样就会有一对该死的傻瓜让人笑话了。”

“我真希望你能见到他昨天晚上的脸色。”

“我料到他很难受，不用说，这是一种打击，对任何一个男人来说，这都把他置于了屈辱的境地。沃尔特总是那么傻里傻气的，他给我的印象好像一个大老爷们儿整天婆婆妈妈地惦记着当众去洗家里的床单、桌布什么的。”

“我不这么看。”她若有所思地回答道，“他很敏感，我已经发现了这一点。”

“就我们目前的情况来看，还算不错。你知道，要防患于未然，一个好的策略就是换位思考，如果你处在他的位置上，你会采取什么行动。一个男人想保留颜面的唯一方式就是假装什么都不知道，我敢保证他肯定会这么干。”

查理说得越多，就越变得亢奋起来。他的蓝眼睛闪着光，又恢复了他的活泼与快乐，散发着鼓舞士气的信心。

“上天作证，我不想说他的坏话，但是说正经的，你要屈尊对一个细菌学家下一个结论的话，他也没什么了不起的。如果西蒙斯先生退休回国，我很可能成为殖民地大臣，如果沃尔特不想受到什么损失的话，他就得站到我这一边，他要想保住赖以谋生的工作，就像我们所有人那样，说话办事就得好好掂量掂量了。你觉得殖民地当局会怎么对待一个整天惹是生非、制造丑闻的家伙？相信我，如果他闭嘴的话，他会得到想要的一切，如果他不长脑子大吵大闹的话，没有好果子吃。”

凯蒂不安地挪动了一下身子。她知道沃尔特很害羞，能够想象得到，他害怕出现吵架的场景，对引起公众注意的事情更是千方百计要躲避，这些情况都会影响到他。但是，她认为他不会受物质上小恩小惠的摆布，也许她确实对他还了解不深，但查理真的完全不明白他的为人。

“你可曾想过他疯狂地爱着我？”

他没有回答，但他眼睛里透着顽皮的神情，冲她微微笑着。她明白自己就是对他这种迷人的神色不能自拔。

“好吧，你直说吧！我知道你会说不中听的话。”

“嗯，你知道，女人们通常会自以为男人们会很疯狂地爱着她们，而实际上并非如此。”

她第一次笑了起来，他的自信感染了她。

“你真是危言耸听呢。”

“你也同样如此，最近你丈夫没有怎么来烦你吧，也许他不像以前那么爱你了。”

“在任何情况下，我也不会自欺欺人地认为你疯狂地爱着我。”她反击道。

“那你就大错特错了。”

啊，听到他那么说多美好呀！她明白这一点，她信任他对她的爱，这份爱融化了她的心。他边说边从床沿站起身来，走过来和她并肩坐在了檀香木箱子上，他伸出一只手臂揽过了她的腰身。

“你这个小傻瓜不要再为这事继续担惊受怕了。”他说道，“我向你保证没什么可害怕的。就凭我多年的经验判断，他肯定装作什么事也没发生一样。你知道，这种事往往死无对证。你说他爱你，也许正说明他不想失去你。我敢发誓，除了让你嫁给我外，他会接受任何事的。”

她斜靠着他，身体无力地紧紧贴着他的手臂。她对他的爱几乎是一种折磨。他最后几句话触动了她：也许沃尔特爱她很深，如果她能时不时地允许这份爱持续下去，他会忍气吞声的。她能理解这种感受，因为她对查理的爱就是这样的。一种骄傲之感涌上心头，与此同时，还夹杂着对男人隐隐约约的蔑视：一个男人怎么能爱得这样低三下四。

她充满爱意地用双手搂着查理的脖子。

“你真是太棒了，当我来这儿之前，完全不知所措，如同风中摇摆的叶子，听你这么一说，一切都万事大吉了。”

他用双手捧着她的脸，开始亲吻她的双唇。

“亲爱的宝贝。”

“你真是我的依靠和安慰呀。”她叹了口气。

“我向你保证你没必要紧张。而且你知道我始终站在你身边，我不会让你倒下的。”

她赶走了心中的恐惧，但瞬间心中有点儿感性地后悔她对未来的计划也全落空了。既然所有的危险已经过去，她差点儿希望沃尔特要是打算坚持和她离婚就好了。

“我就知道我能指望你。”她说道。

“我本来就希望如此。”

“你本来就该回去啦，到了午餐的时间了。”

“哦，该死的午餐。”

他把她一把搂过来，现在她已经紧紧地在他怀抱里了，他的嘴在寻找她的双唇。

“哦，查理，你得让我走了。”

“休想。”

她轻轻笑了一声，这是充满胜利感和幸福感的笑声。他的眸子里闪烁着强烈的欲望，他把她抱了起来，不让她离开，让她紧紧地贴着自己的胸膛，然后锁上了门。