双语·面纱 第七十一章
When the boat docked at Hong Kong, Kitty, who had been standing on the deck to look at the colored, gay, and vivacious traffic of the river, went into her cabin to see that the amah had left nothing behind. She gave herself a look in the glass. She wore black, the nuns had dyed a dress for her, but not mourning; and the thought crossed her mind that the first thing she must do was to see to this. The habiliments of woe could not but serve as an effective disguise to her unexpected feelings. There was a knock on her cabin door. The amah opened it.
“Mrs. Fane.”
Kitty turned and saw a face which at the first moment she did not recognize. Then her heart gave a sudden quick beat and she flushed. It was Dorothy Townsend. Kitty so little expected to see her that she knew neither what to do nor what to say. But Mrs. Townsend came into the cabin and with an impulsive gesture took Kitty in her arms.
“Oh, my dear, my dear, I'm so dreadfully sorry for you.”
Kitty allowed herself to be kissed. She was a little surprised at this effusiveness in a woman whom she had always thought cold and distant.
“It's very kind of you,” murmured Kitty.
“Come on deck. The amah will look after your things and my boys are here.”
She took Kitty's hand and Kitty, allowing herself to be led, noticed that her good-natured, weather-beaten face bore an expression of real concern.
“Your boat's early, I very nearly didn't get down in time,” said Mrs. Townsend. “I couldn't have borne it if I'd missed you.”
“But you didn't come to meet me?” exclaimed Kitty.
“Of course I did.”
“But how did you know I was coming?”
“Mr. Waddington sent me a telegram.”
Kitty turned away. She had a lump in her throat. It was funny that a little unexpected kindness should so affect her. She did not want to cry; she wished Dorothy Townsend would go away. But Dorothy took the hand that was hanging by Kitty's side and pressed it. It embarrassed Kitty that this shy woman should be so demonstrative.
“I want you to do me a great favor. Charlie and I want you to come and stay with us while you're in Hong Kong.”
Kitty snatched her hand away.
“It's awfully kind of you. I couldn't possibly.”
“But you must. You can't go and live all by yourself in your own house. It would be dreadful for you. I've prepared everything. You shall have your own sitting-room. You can have your meals there if you don't care to have them with us. We both want you to come.”
“I wasn't thinking of going to the house. I was going to get myself a room at the Hong Kong Hotel. I couldn't possibly put you to so much trouble.”
The suggestion had taken her by surprise. She was confused and vexed. If Charlie had had any sense of decency he would never have allowed his wife to make the invitation. She did not wish to be under an obligation to either of them.
“Oh, but I couldn't bear the idea of your living at a hotel. And you'd hate the Hong Kong Hotel just now. With all those people about and the band playing jazz all the time. Please say you'll come to us. I promise you that Charlie and I won't bother you.”
“I don't know why you should be so kind to me.” Kitty was getting a little short of excuses; she could not bring herself to utter a blunt and definite no. “I'm afraid I'm not very good company among strangers just now.”
“But need we be strangers to you? Oh, I do so want not to be, I so want you to allow me to be your friend.” Dorothy clasped her hands and her voice, her cool, deliberate, and distinguished voice, was tremulous with tears. “I so awfully want you to come. You see, I want to make amends to you.”
Kitty did not understand. She did not know what amends Charlie's wife owed her.
“I'm afraid I didn't very much like you at first. I thought you rather fast. You see, I'm old-fashioned and I suppose I'm intolerant.”
Kitty gave her a passing glance. What she meant was that at first she had thought Kitty vulgar. Though Kitty allowed no shadow of it to show on her face in her heart she laughed. Much she cared for what any one thought of her now!
“And when I heard that you'd gone with your husband into the jaws of death, without a moment's hesitation, I felt such a frightful cad. I felt so humiliated. You've been so wonderful, you've been so brave, you make all the rest of us look so dreadfully cheap and second-rate.” Now the tears were pouring down her kind, homely face. “I can't tell you how much I admire you and what a respect I have for you. I know I can do nothing to make up for your terrible loss, but I want you to know how deeply, how sincerely I feel for you. And if you'll only allow me to do a little something for you it will be a privilege. Don't bear me a grudge because I misjudged you. You're heroic and I'm just a silly fool of a woman.”
Kitty looked down at the deck. She was very pale. She wished that Dorothy would not show such uncontrollable emotion. She was touched, it was true, but she could not help a slight feeling of impatience that this simple creature should believe such lies.
“If you really mean that you'd like to have me, of course I shall be glad to come,” she sighed.
轮船到了香港，停靠在了码头上。凯蒂刚才一直站在甲板上，看着江面上各种颜色、欢快活泼的大小船只来来往往。这时她走进客舱，看看女仆是否落下了什么东西，然后又自己照了照镜子。她穿着一身黑衣，修女们已经为她染黑了一身衣服，但不是孝衣。她想到的第一件事就是检查一下这身打扮。可以说这身衣服虽然不能掩盖住她突然的百感交集，但至少是一个很好的伪装。有人在敲客舱的房门，女仆打开了门。
“费恩太太。”
凯蒂转过身去，看到了一张脸。刚一开始她竟然没有认出来。随后，她的心跳突然加快，脸也红了。来人是多萝西·汤森。凯蒂根本没有想到会看到她，有点儿不知所措了。但是，汤森太太走进了客舱，用一个很冲动的姿势一下子抱住了凯蒂。
“哦，我亲爱的，我是多么为你感到难过呀。”
凯蒂让她亲吻了自己。她有点儿吃惊，原来她总觉得多萝西冷淡而拒人千里之外，可今天她竟然这么情真意切。
“你真是太好了。”凯蒂嘟囔道。
“来甲板上吧，你的女仆会照看好你的东西，我的仆人们也等在这儿了。”
她拉着凯蒂的手，而凯蒂也只好被她领着，但凯蒂注意到她那张温厚的、饱经风霜的脸上确实挂着由衷关心的表情。
“你的船到早了，我差点儿就没接上你。”多萝西说道，“如果我没接到你，我会受不了的。”
“你是特意来接我的？”凯蒂惊呼道。
“当然，我是特意来接你的。”
“但是你怎么知道我要回来？”
“威廷顿先生给我拍了封电报。”
凯蒂背过身去，感到喉咙中有点儿哽咽，一个出乎意料的小小善举竟然如此感动她，真是可笑。她不想哭，她希望多萝西能够走开，但多萝西拉住了凯蒂耷拉在身体一侧的手，并紧紧握住它。这让凯蒂有点儿尴尬，这个颇有城府的女人真够感情外露的。
“我想让你赏光，你在香港期间，查理和我想让你过来和我们住在一起。”
凯蒂把手抽了出来。
“你真的对我太好了，但我想不大可能。”
“你一定要听我的，你不能回去，独自一个人住在你自己的房子里。对你来说，这太可怕了。我已经准备好了一切。你有自己的客厅，如果你不介意和我们一起吃饭，就在我们家吃。我们两个人都希望你能来。”
“我没想回我自己家，我打算在香港宾馆租间房，我不可能去给你添那么多麻烦的。”
多萝西的这个建议起初让她吃惊，现在更多的是让她困惑和烦恼。如果查理还不是那么厚颜无耻的话，他就不应该让她的太太发出这样的邀请。她不想欠他们俩中任何一个人的人情。
“哦，但是想到你住旅馆，我就受不了。你会讨厌香港宾馆的，那儿整天人来人往，乐队一直演奏着爵士乐。请答应来我们家吧，我向你保证查理和我都不会打扰你的。”
“我不知道你为什么对我这么好。”凯蒂一时找不到很好的理由拒绝，又不能简单粗暴地一口回绝，“我恐怕目前在陌生人中间会觉得不太自在。”
“但是我们对你来说是陌生人吗？哦，我真没这样想过，我多么希望你把我当成朋友呀。”多萝西攥紧双手，她冷静、圆滑、特点鲜明的声音中竟然带有颤抖的哭音，“我真的盼着你来，你知道，我想补偿你。”
凯蒂有点儿糊涂了，她不知道查理的妻子欠她什么了，还需要补偿她。
“恐怕我得承认，一开始时，我不是很喜欢你，觉得你很不稳重，你知道，我是个保守的人，而且，我想我还有点儿心胸狭窄。”
凯蒂看了多萝西一眼，这个女人的意思是一开始她觉得凯蒂粗俗，虽然凯蒂脸上没有任何表情，但在心里却笑了。现在她根本不在乎别人对她的看法了！
“可是当我听说你毅然决然地陪着你丈夫远赴生死之地，没有片刻的犹豫，我就觉得自己是个可怕的下流坯，我羞愧极了。你是那么的高尚，那么的勇敢，你让我们所有的人看上去是那么的卑贱和渺小。”这时，泪水似泉水般流淌在她善良、平凡的脸上，“我不能告诉你我有多崇拜你，多敬佩你。我知道无论我做什么都不能弥补你的丧夫之痛，但是我想让你明白我对你深沉、真挚的感情，如果你能允许我为你做点儿微不足道的事的话，将是我莫大的荣幸。不要因为我以前误解了你而对我怀恨在心吧，你是英雄，而我只是个愚蠢的傻女人。”
凯蒂低头看着甲板，脸色苍白。她希望多萝西不要一发不可收拾地倾泻自己的感情。她被感动了，这是真的，但是她忍不住有种微微的不耐烦，这个简单的女人竟然相信了这些谎言。
“如果你实在想让我去的话，当然，我很乐意去。”她叹了口气，不得不让步了。
