双语·心是孤独的猎手 第二部分 7

The town had not known a winter as cold as this one for years. Frost formed on the windowpanes and whitened the roofs of houses.The winter afternoons glowed with a hazy lemon light and shadows were a delicate blue.A thin coat of ice crusted the puddles in the streets, and it was said on the day after Christmas that only ten miles to the north there was a light fall of snow.

A change came over Singer. Often he went out for the long walks that had occupied him during the months when Antonapoulos was first gone.These walks extended for miles in every direction and covered the whole of the town.He rambled through the dense neighborhoods along the river that were more squalid than ever since the mills had been slack this winter.In many eyes there was a look of somber loneliness.Now that people were forced to be idle, a certain restlessness could be felt.There was a fervid outbreak of new beliefs.A young man who had worked at the dye vats in a mill claimed suddenly that a great holy power had come in him.He said it was his duty to deliver a new set of commandments from the Lord.The young man set up a tabernacle and hundreds of people came each night to roll on the ground and shake each other, for they believed that they were in the presence of something more than human.There was murder, too.A woman who could not make enough to eat believed that a foreman had cheated on her work tokens and she stabbed him in the throat.A family of Negroes moved into the end house on one of the most dismal streets, and this caused so much indignation that the house was burned and the black man beaten by his neighbors.But these were incidents.Nothing had really changed.The strike that was talked about never came off because they could not get together.All was the same as before.Even on the coldest nights the Sunny Dixie Show was open.The people dreamed and fought and slept as much as ever.And by habit they shortened their thoughts so that they would not wander out into the darkness beyond tomorrow.

Singer walked through the scattered odorous parts of town where the Negroes crowded together. There was more gaiety and violence here.Often the fine, sharp smell of gin lingered in the alleys.Warm, sleepy firelight colored the windows.Meetings were held in the churches almost every night.Comfortable little houses set off in plots of brown grass—Singer walked in these parts also.Here the children were huskier and more friendly to strangers.He roamed through the neighborhoods of the rich.There were houses, very grand and old, with white columns and intricate fences of wrought iron.He walked past the big brick houses where automobiles honked in the driveways and where the plumes of smoke rolled lavishly from chimneys.And out to the very edges of the roads that led from the town to general stores where fanners came on Saturday nights and sat around the stove.He wandered often about the four main business blocks that were brightly lighted and then through the black, deserted alleys behind.There was no part of the town that Singer did not know.He watched the yellow squares of light reflect from a thousand windows.The winter nights were beautiful.The sky was a cold azure and the stars were very bright.

Often it happened now that he would be spoken to and stopped during these walks. All kinds of people became acquainted with him.If the person who spoke to him was a stranger, Singer presented his card so that his silence would be understood.He came to be known through all the town.He walked with his shoulders very straight and kept his hands always stuffed down into his pockets.His gray eyes seemed to take in everything around him, and in his face there was still the look of peace that is seen most often in those who are very wise or very sorrowful.He was always glad to stop with anyone who wished his company.For after all he was only walking and going nowhere.

Now it came about that various rumors started in the town concerning the mute. In the years before with Antonapoulos they had walked back and forth to work, but except for this they were always alone together in their rooms.No one had bothered about them then—and if they were observed it was the big Greek on whom attention was focused.The Singer of those years was forgotten.

So the rumors about the mute were rich and varied. The Jews said that he was a Jew.The merchants along the main street claimed he received a large legacy and was a very rich man.It was whispered in one browbeaten textile union that the mute was an organizer for the C.I.O.A lone Turk who had roamed into the town years ago and who languished with his family behind the little store where they sold linens claimed passionately to his wife that the mute was Turkish.He said that when he spoke his language the mute understood.And as he claimed this his voice grew warm and he forgot to squabble with his children and he was full of plans and activity.One old man from the country said that the mute had come from somewhere near his home and that the mute's father had the finest tobacco crop in all the country.All these things were said about him.

Antonapoulos！Within Singer there was always the memory of his friend. At night when he closed his eyes the Greek's face was there in the darkness—round and oily, with a wise and gentle smile.In his dreams they were always together.

It was more than a year now since his friend had gone away. This year seemed neither long nor short.Rather it was removed from the ordinary sense of time—as when one is drunk or half-asleep.Behind each hour there was always his friend.And this buried life with Antonapoulos changed and developed as did the happenings around him.During the first few months he had thought most of the terrible weeks before Antonapoulos was taken away—of the trouble that followed his illness, of the summons for arrest, and the misery in trying to control the whims of his friend.He thought of times in the past when he and Antonapoulos had been unhappy.There was one recollection, far in the past, that came back to him several times.

They never had no friends. Sometimes they would meet other mutes—there were three of them with whom they became acquainted during the ten years.But something always happened.One moved to another state the week after they met him.Another was married and had six children and did not talk with his hands.But it was their relation with the third of these acquaintances that Singer remembered when his friend was gone.

The mute's name was Carl. He was a sallow young man who worked in one of the mills.His eyes were pale yellow and his teeth so brittle and transparent that they seemed pale and yellow also.In his blue overalls that hung limp over his skinny little body he was like a blue-and-yellow rag doll.

They invited him to dinner and arranged to meet him beforehand at the store where Antonapoulos worked. The Greek was still busy when they arrived.He was finishing a batch of caramel fudge in the cooking room at the back of the store.The fudge lay golden and glossy over the long marble-topped table.The air was warm and rich with sweet smells.Antonapoulos seemed pleased to have Carl watch him as he glided the knife down the warm candy and cut it into squares.He offered their new friend a corner of the fudge on the edge of his greased knife, and showed him the trick that he always performed for anyone when he wished to be liked.He pointed to a vat of syrup boiling on the stove and fanned his face and squinted his eyes to show how hot it was.Then he wet his hand in a pot of cold water, plunged it into the boiling syrup, and swiftly put it back into the water again.His eyes bulged and he rolled out his tongue as though he were in great agony.He even wrung his hand and hopped on one foot so that the building shook.Then he smiled suddenly and held out his hand to show that it was a joke and hit Carl on the shoulder.

It was a pale winter evening, and their breath clouded in the cold air as they walked with their arms interlocked down the street. Singer was in the middle and he left them on the sidewalk twice while he went into stores to shop.Carl and Antonapoulos carried the sacks of groceries, and Singer held to their arms tightly and smiled all the way home.Their rooms were cozy and he moved happily about, making conversation with Carl.After the meal the two of them talked while Antonapoulous watched with a slow smile.Often the big Greek would lumber to the closet and pour out drinks of gin.Carl sat by the window, only drinking when Antonapoulos pushed the glass into his face, and then taking solemn little sips.Singer could not ever remember his friend so cordial to a stranger before, and he thought ahead with pleasure to the time when Carl would visit them often.

Midnight had passed when the thing happened that ruined the festive party. Antonapoulos returned from one of his trips to the closet and his face had a glowering look.He sat on his bed and began to stare repeatedly at their new friend with expressions of offense and great disgust.Singer tried to make eager conversation to hide this strange behavior, but the Greek was persistent.Carl huddled in a chair, nursing his bony knees, fascinated and bewildered by the grimaces of the big Greek.His face was flushed and he swallowed timidly.Singer could ignore the situation no longer, so at last he asked Antonapoulos if his stomach pained him or if he perhaps felt bad and wished to go to sleep.Antonapoulos shook his head.He pointed to Carl and began to make all the gestures of obscenity which he knew.The disgust on his face was terrible to see.Carl was small with fear.At last the big Greek ground his teeth and rose from his chair.Hurriedly Carl picked up his cap and left the room.Singer followed him down the stairs.He did not know how to explain his friend to this stranger.Carl stood hunched in the doorway downstairs, limp, with his peaked cap pulled down over his face.At last they shook hands and Carl went away.

Antonapoulos let him know that while they were not noticing, their guest had gone into the closet and drunk up all the gin. No amount of persuasion could convince Antonapoulos that it was he himself who had finished the bottle.The big Greek sat up in bed and his round face was dismal and reproachful.Large tears trickled slowly down to the neck of his undershirt and he could not be comforted.At last he went to sleep, but Singer was awake in the dark a long time.They never saw Carl again.

Then years later there was the time Antonapoulos took the rent money from the vase on the mantelpiece and spent it all on the slot machines. And the summer afternoon Antonapoulos went downstairs naked to get the paper.He suffered so from the summer heat.They bought an electric refrigerator on the installment plan, and Antonapoulos would suck the cubes of ice constantly and even let a few of them melt in bed with him as he slept.And the time Antonapoulos got drunk and threw a bowl of macaroni in his face.

Those ugly memories wove through his thoughts during the first months like bad threads through a carpet. And then they were gone.All the times that they had been unhappy were forgotten.For as the year went on his thoughts of his friend spiraled deeper until he dwelt only with the Antonapoulos whom he alone could know.

This was the friend to whom he told all that was in his heart. This was the Antonapoulos who no one knew was wise but him.As the year passed his friend seemed to grow larger in his mind, and his face looked out in a very grave and subtle way from the darkness at night.The memories of his friend changed in his mind so that he remembered nothing that was wrong or foolish—only the wise and good.

He saw Antonapoulos sitting in a large chair before him. He sat tranquil and unmoving.His round face was inscrutable.His mouth was wise and smiling.And his eyes were profound.He watched the things that were said to him.And in his wisdom he understood.

This was the Antonapoulos who now was always in his thoughts. This was the friend to whom he wanted to tell things that had come about.For something had happened in this year.He had been left in an alien land.Alone.He had opened his eyes and around him there was much he could not understand.He was bewildered.

He watched the words shape on their lips.

We Negroes want a chance to be free at last. And freedom is only the right to contribute.We want to serve and to share, to labor and in turn consume that which is due to us.But you are the only white man I have ever encountered who realizes this terrible need of my people.

You see, Mister Singer?I got this music in me all the time. I got to be a real musician.Maybe I don't know anything now, but I will when I'm twenty.See, Mister Singer?And then I mean to travel in a foreign country where there's snow.

Let's finish up the bottle. I want a small one.For we were thinking of freedom.That's the word like a worm in my brain.Yes?No?How much?How little?The word is a signal for piracy and theft and cunning.We'll be free and the smartest will then be able to enslave the others.But！But there is another meaning to the word.Of all words this one is the most dangerous.We who know must be wary.The word makes us feel good—in fact the word is a great ideal.But it's with this ideal that the spiders spin their ugliest webs for us.

The last one rubbed his nose. He did not come often and he did not say much.He asked questions.

The four people had been coming to his rooms now for more than seven months. They never came together—always alone.And invariably he met them at the door with a cordial smile.The want for Antonapoulos was always with him—just as it had been the first months after his friend had gone—and it was better to be with any person than to be too long alone.It was like the time years ago when he had made a pledge to Antonapoulos（and even written it on a paper and tacked it on the wall above his bed）—a pledge that he would give up cigarettes, beer, and meat for one month.The first days had been very bad.He could not rest or be still.He visited Antonapoulos so much at the fruit store that Charles Parker was unpleasant to him.When he had finished all the engraving on hand he would dawdle around the front of the store with the watchmaker and the salesgirl or wander out to some soda fountain to drink a Coca-Cola.In those days being near any stranger was better than thinking alone about the cigarettes and beer and meat that he wanted.

At first he had not understood the four people at all. They talked and they talked—and as the months went on they talked more and more.He became so used to their lips that he understood each word they said.And then after a while he knew what each one of them would say before he began, because the meaning was always the same.

His hands were a torment to him. They would not rest.They twitched in his sleep, and sometimes he awoke to find them shaping the words in his dreams before his face.He did not like to look at his hands or to think about them.They were slender and brown and very strong.In the years before he had always tended them with care.In the winter he used oil to prevent chapping, and he kept the cuticles pushed down and his nails always filed to the shape of his finger-tips.He had loved to wash and tend his hands.But now he only scrubbed them roughly with a brush two times a day and stuffed them back into his pockets.

When he walked up and down the floor of his room he would crack the joints of his fingers and jerk at them until they ached. Or he would strike the palm of one hand with the fist of the other.And then sometimes when he was alone and his thoughts were with his friend his hands would begin to shape the words before he knew about it.Then when he realized he was like a man caught talking aloud to himself.It was almost as though he had done some moral wrong.The shame and the sorrow mixed together and he doubled his hands and put them behind him.But they would not let him rest.

Singer stood in the street before the house where he and Antonapoulos had lived. The late afternoon was smoky and gray.In the west there were streaks of cold yellow and rose.A ragged winter sparrow flew in patterns against the smoky sky and at last came to light on a gable of the house.The street was deserted.

His eyes were fixed on a window on the right side of the second story. This was their front room, and behind was the big kitchen where Antonapoulos had cooked all their meals.Through the lighted window he watched a woman move back and forth across the room.She was large and vague against the light and she wore an apron.A man sat with the evening newspaper in his hand.A child with a slice of bread came to the window and pressed his nose against the pane.Singer saw the room just as he had left it—with the large bed for Antonapoulos and the iron cot for himself, the big overstuffed sofa and the camp chair.The broken sugar bowl used for an ash tray, the damp spot on the ceiling where the roof leaked, the laundry box in the corner.On late afternoons like this there would be no light in the kitchen except the glow from the oil-burners of the big stove.Antonapoulos always turned the wicks so that only a ragged fringe of gold and blue could be seen inside each burner.The room was warm and full of the good smells from the supper.Antonapoulos tasted the dishes with his wooden spoon and they drank glasses of red wine.On the linoleum rug before the stove the flames from the burners made luminous reflections—five little golden lanterns.As the milky twilight grew darker these little lanterns were more intense, so that when at last the night had come they burned with vivid purity.Supper was always ready by that time and they would turn on the light and draw their chairs to the table.

Singer looked down at the dark front door. He thought of them going out together in the morning and coming home at night.There was the broken place in the pavement where Antonapoulos had stumbled once and hurt his elbow.There was the mailbox where their bill from the light company came each month.He could feel the warm touch of his friend's arm against his fingers.

The street was dark now. He looked up at the window once more and he saw the strange woman and the man and the child in a group together.The emptiness spread in him.All was gone.Antonapoulos was away；he was not here to remember.The thoughts of his friend were somewhere else.Singer shut his eyes and tried to think of the asylum and the room that Antonapoulos was in tonight.He remembered the narrow white beds and the old men playing slapjack in the corner.He held his eyes shut tight, but that room would not become clear in his mind.The emptiness was very deep inside him, and after a while he glanced up at the window once more and started down the dark sidewalk where they had walked together so many times.

It was Saturday night. The main street was thick with people.Shivering Negroes in overalls loitered before the windows of the ten-cent store.Families stood in line before the ticket box of the movie and young boys and girls stared at the posters on display outside.The traffic from the automobiles was so dangerous that he had to wait a long time before crossing the street.

He passed the fruit store. The fruits were beautiful inside the windows—bananas, oranges, alligator pears, bright little cumquats, and even a few pineapples.But Charles Parker waited on a customer inside.The face of Charles Parker was very ugly to him.Several times when Charles Parker was away he had entered the store and stood around a long while.He had even gone to the kitchen in the back where Antonapoulos made the candies.But he never went into the store while Charles Parker was inside.They had both taken care to avoid each other since that day when Antonapoulos left on the bus.When they met in the street they always turned away without nodding.Once when he had wanted to send his friend a jar of his favorite tupelo honey he had ordered it from Charles Parker by mail so as not to be obliged to meet him.

Singer stood before the window and watched the cousin of his friend wait on a group of customers. Business was always good on Saturday night.Antonapoulos sometimes had to work as late as ten o'clock.The big automatic popcorn popper was near the door.A clerk shoved in a measure of kernels and the corn whirled inside the case like giant flakes of snow.The smell from the store was warm and familiar.Peanut hulls were trampled on the floor.

Singer passed on down the street. He had to weave his way carefully in the crowds to keep from being jostled.The streets were strung with red and green electric lights because of the holidays.People stood in laughing groups with their arms about each other.Young fathers nursed cold and crying babies on their shoulders.A Salvation Army girl in her red-and-blue bonnet tinkled a bell on the corner, and when she looked at Singer he felt obliged to drop a coin into the pot beside her.There were beggars, both Negro and white, who held out caps or crusty hands.The neon advertisements cast an orange glow on the faces of the crowd.

He reached the corner where he and Antonapoulos had once seen a mad dog on an August afternoon. Then he passed the room above the Army and Navy Store where Antonapoulos had had his picture taken every pay-day.He carried many of the photographs in his pocket now.He turned west toward the river.Once they had taken a picnic lunch and crossed the bridge and eaten in a field on his other side.

Singer walked along the main street for about an hour. In all the crowd he seemed the only one alone.At last he took out his watch and turned toward the house where he lived.Perhaps one of the people would come this evening to his room.He hoped so.

He mailed Antonapoulos a large box of presents for Christmas. Also he presented gifts to each of the four people and to Mrs.Kelly.For all of them together he had bought a radio and put it on the table by the window.Doctor Copeland did not notice the radio.Biff Brannon noticed it immediately and raised his eyebrows.Jake Blount kept it turned on all the time he was there, at the same station, and as he talked he seemed to be shouting above the music, for the veins stood out on his forehead.Mick Kelly did not understand when she saw the radio.Her face was very red and she asked him over and over if it was really his and whether she could listen.She worked with a dial for several minutes before she got it to the place that suited her.She sat leaning forward in her chair with her hands on her knees, her mouth open and a pulse beating very fast in her temple.She seemed to listen all over to whatever it was she heard.She sat there the whole afternoon, and when she grinned at him once her eyes were wet and she rubbed them with her fists.She asked him if she could come in and listen sometimes when he was at work and he nodded yes.So for the next few days whenever he opened the door he found her by the radio.Her hand raked through her short rumpled hair and there was a look in her face he had never seen before.

One night soon after Christmas all four of the people chanced to visit him at the same time. This had never happened before.Singer moved about the room with smiles and refreshments and did his best in the way of politeness to make his guests comfortable.But something was wrong.

Doctor Copeland would not sit down. He stood in the doorway, hat in hand, and only bowed coldly to the others.They looked at him as though they wondered why he was there.Jake Blount opened the beers he had brought with him and the foam spilled down on his shirtfront.Mick Kelly listened to the music from the radio.Biff Brannon sat on the bed, his knees crossed, his eyes scanning the group before him and then becoming narrow and fixed.

Singer was bewildered. Always each of them had so much to say.Yet now that they were together they were silent.When they came in he had expected an outburst of some kind.In a vague way he had expected this to be the end of something.But in the room there was only a feeling of strain.His hands worked nervously as though they were pulling things unseen from the air and binding them together.

Jake Blount stood beside Doctor Copeland.“I know your face. We run into each other once before—on the steps outside.”

Doctor Copeland moved his tongue precisely as though he clipped out his words with scissors.“I was not aware that we were acquainted，”he said. Then his stiff body seemed to shrink.He stepped back until he was just outside the threshold of the room.

Biff Brannon smoked his cigarette composedly. The smoke lay in thin layers across the room.He turned to Mick and when he looked at her a blush reddened his face.He half-closed his eyes and in a moment his face was bloodless once more.“And how are you getting on with your business now?”

“What business?”Mick asked suspiciously.

“Just the business of living，”he said.“School—and so forth.”

“O. K.，I reckon，”she said.

Each one of them looked at Singer as though in expectation. He was puzzled.He offered refreshments and smiled.

Jake rubbed his lips with the palm of his hand. He left off trying to make conversation with Doctor Copeland and sat down on the bed beside Biff.“You know who it is that used to write those bloody warnings in red chalk on the fences and walls around the mills?”

“No，”Biff said.“What bloody warnings?”

“Mostly from the Old Testament. I been wondering about that for a long time.”

Each person addressed his words mainly to the mute. Their thoughts seemed to converge in him as the spokes of a wheel lead to the center hub.

“The cold has been very unusual，”Biff said finally.“The other day I was looking through some old records and I found that in the year　1919　the thermometer got down to ten degrees Fahrenheit. It was only sixteen degrees this morning, and that's the coldest since the big freeze that year.”

“There were icicles hanging off the roof of the coal house this morning，”Mick said.

“We didn't take in enough money last week to meet the payroll，”Jake said.

They discussed the weather some more. Each one seemed to be waiting for the others to go.Then on an impulse they all rose to leave at the same time.Doctor Copeland went first and the others followed him immediately.When they were gone Singer stood alone in the room, and as he did not understand the situation he wanted to forget it.He decided to write to Antonapoulos that night.

The fact that Antonapoulos could not read did not prevent Singer from writing to him. He had always known that his friend was unable to make out the meaning of words on paper, but as the months went by he began to imagine that perhaps he had been mistaken, that perhaps Antonapoulos only kept his knowledge of letters a secret from everyone.Also, it was possible there might be a deaf-mute at the asylum who could read his letters and then explain them to his friend.He thought of several justifications for his letters, for he always felt a great need to write to his friend when he was bewildered or sad.Once written, however, these letters were never mailed.He cut out the comic strips from the morning and evening papers and sent them to his friend each Sunday.And every month he mailed a postal money order.But the long letters he wrote to Antonapoulos accumulated in his pockets until he would destroy them.

When the four people had gone, Singer slipped on his warm gray overcoat and his gray felt hat and left his room. He always wrote his letters at the store.Also, he had promised to deliver a certain piece of work the next morning, and he wanted to finish it now so that there would be no question of delay.The night was sharp and frosty.The moon was full and rimmed with a golden light.The rooftops were black against the starlit sky.As he walked he thought of ways to begin his letter, but he had already reached the store before the first sentence was clear in his mind.He let himself into the dark store with his key and switched on the front lights.

He worked at the very end of the store. A cloth curtain separated his place from the rest of the shop so that it was like a small private room.Besides his workbench and chair there was a heavy safe in the corner, a lavatory with a greenish mirror, and shelves full of boxes and worn-out clocks.Singer rolled up the top of his bench and removed from its felt case the silver platter he had promised to have ready.Although the store was cold he took off his coat and turned up the blue-striped cuffs of his shirt so that they would not get in his way.

For a long time he worked at the monogram in the center of the platter. With delicate, concentrated strokes he guided the scriver on the silver.As he worked his eyes had a curiously penetrating look of hunger.He was thinking of his letter to his friend Antonapoulos.Midnight had passed before the work was finished.When he put the platter away his forehead was damp with excitement.He cleared his bench and began to write.He loved to shape words with a pen on paper and he formed the letters with as much care as if the paper had been a plate of silver.

My Only Friend：

I see from our magazine that the Society meets this year at a convention in Macon.They will have speakers and a four-

course banquet.I imagine it.Remember we always planned to attend one of the conventions but we never did.I wish now that we had.I wish we were going to this one and I have imagined how it would be.But of course I could never go without you.They will come from many states and they will all be full of words and long dreams from the heart.There is also to be a special service at one of the churches and some kind of a contest with a gold medal for the prize.I write that I imagine all this.I both do and do not.My hands have been still so long that it is difficult to remember how it is.And when I imagine the convention I think of all the guests being like you, my Friend.

I stood before our home the other day.Other people live in it now.Do you remember the big oak tree in front?The branches were cut back so as not to interfere with the telephone wires and the tree died.The limbs are rotten and there is a hollow place in the trunk.Also, the cat here at the store（the one you used to stroke and fondle）ate something poisonous and died.It was very sad.

Singer held the pen poised above the paper. He sat for a long while, erect and tense, without continuing the letter.Then he stood up and lighted himself a cigarette.The room was cold and the air had a sour stale odor—the mixed smells of kerosene and silver polish and tobacco.He put on his overcoat and muffler and began writing again with slow determination.

You remember the four people I told you about when I was there.I drew their pictures for you, the black man, the young girl, the one with the mustache, and the man who owns the New York Café.There are some things I should like to tell you about them but how to put them in words I am not sure.

They are all very busy people.In fact they are so busy that it will be hard for you to picture them.I do not mean that they work at their jobs all day and night but that they have much business in their minds always that does not let them rest.They come up to my room and talk to me until I do not understand how a person can open and shut his or her mouth so much without being weary.（However, the New York Café　owner is different—he is not just like the others.He has a very black beard so that he has to shave twice daily, and he owns one of these electric razors.He watches.The others all have something they hate.And they all have something they love more than eating or sleeping or wine or friendly company.That is why they are always so busy.）

The one with the mustache I think is crazy.Sometimes he speaks his words very clear like my teacher long ago at the school.Other times he speaks such a language that I cannot follow.Sometimes he is dressed in a plain suit, and the next time he will be black with dirt and smelling bad and in the overalls he wears to work.He will shake his fist and say ugly drunken words that I would not wish you to know about.He thinks he and I have a secret together but I do not know what it is.And let me write you something hard to believe.He can drink three pints of Happy Days whiskey and still talk and walk on his feet and not wish for the bed.You will not believe this but it is true.

I rent my room from the girl’s mother for$16　per month.The girl used to dress in short trousers like a boy but now she wears a blue skirt and a blouse.She is not yet a young lady.I like her to come and see me.She comes all the time now that I have a radio for them.She likes music.I wish I knew what it is she hears.She knows I am deaf but she thinks I know about music.

The black man is sick with consumption but there is not

a good hospital for him to go to here because he is black.He is a doctor and he works more than anyone I have ever seen.He does not talk like a black man at all.Other Negroes I find it hard to understand because their tongues do not move enough for the words.This black man frightens me sometimes.His eyes are hot and bright.He asked me to a party and I went.He has many books.However, he does not own any mystery books.He does not drink or eat meat or attend the movies.

Yah Freedom and pirates.Yah Capital and Democrats, says the ugly one with the mustache.Then he contradicts himself and says, Freedom is the greatest of all ideals.I just got to get a chance to write this music in me and be a musician.I got to have a chance says the girl.We are not allowed to serve, says the black Doctor.That is the Godlike need for my people.Aha, says the owner of the New York Café.He is a thoughtful one.

That is the way they talk when they come to my room.Those words in their heart do not let them rest, so they are always very busy.Then you would think when they are together they would be like those of the Society who meet at the convention in Macon this week.But that is not so.They all came to my room at the same time today.They sat like they were from different cities.They were even rude, and you know how I have always said that to be rude and not attend to the feelings of others is wrong.So it was like that.I do not understand, so I write it to you because I think you will understand.I have queer feelings.But I have written of this matter enough and I know you axe weary of it.I am also.

It has been five months and twenty-one days now.All of that time I have been alone without you.The only thing I can imagine is when I will be with you again.If I cannot come to you soon I do not know what.

Singer put his head down on the bench and rested. The smell and the feel of the slick wood against his cheek reminded him of his schooldays.His eyes closed and he felt sick.There was only the face of Antonapoulos in his mind, and his longing for his friend was so sharp that he held his breath.After some time Singer sat up and reached for his pen.

The gift I ordered for you did not come in time for the Christmas box.I expect it shortly.I believe you will like it and be amused.I think of us always and remember everything.I long for the food you used to make.At the New York Café　it is much worse than it used to be.I found a cooked fly in my soup not long ago.It was mixed with the vegetables and the noodles like letters.But that is nothing.The way I need you is a loneliness I cannot bear.Soon I will come again.My vacation is not due for six months more but I think I can arrange it before then.I think I will have to.I am not meant to be alone and without you who understand.

Always，

JOHN SINGER

It was two o'clock in the morning before he was home again. The big, crowded house was in darkness, but he felt his way carefully up three flights of stairs and did not stumble.He took from his pockets the cards he carried about with him, his watch, and his fountain pen.Then he folded his clothes neatly over the back of his chair.His gray-flannel pajamas were warm and soft.Almost as soon as he pulled the blankets to his chin he was asleep.

Out of the blackness of sleep a dream formed. There were dull yellow lanterns lighting up a dark flight of stone steps.Antonapoulos kneeled at the top of these steps.He was naked and he fumbled with something that he held above his head and gazed at it as though in prayer.He himself knelt half-way down the steps.He was naked and cold and he could not take his eyes from Antonapoulos and the thing he held above him.Behind him on the ground he felt the one with the mustache and the girl and the black man and the last one.They knelt naked and he felt their eyes on him.And behind them there were uncounted crowds of kneeling people in the darkness.His own hands were huge windmills and he stared fascinated at the unknown thing that Antonapoulos held.The yellow lanterns swayed to and fro in the darkness and all else was motionless.Then suddenly there was a ferment.In the upheaval the steps collapsed and he felt himself falling downward.He awoke with a jerk.The early light whitened the window.He felt afraid.

Such a long time had passed that something might have happened to his friend. Because Antonapoulos did not write to him he would not know.Perhaps his friend had fallen and hurt himself.He felt such an urge to be with him once more that he would arrange it at any cost—and immediately.

In the post-office that morning he found a notice in his box that a package had come for him. It was the gift he had ordered for Christmas that did not arrive in time.The gift was a very fine one.He had bought it on the installment plan to be paid for over a period of two years.The gift was a moving-picture machine for private use, with a half-dozen of the Mickey Mouse and Popeye comedies that Antonapoulos enjoyed.

Singer was the last to reach the store that morning. He handed the jeweler for whom he worked a formal written request for leave on Friday and Saturday.And although there were four weddings on hand that week, the jeweler nodded that he could go.

He did not let anyone know of the trip beforehand, but on leaving he tacked a note to his door saying that he would be absent for several days because of business. He traveled at night, and the train reached the place of his destination just as the red winter dawn was breaking.

In the afternoon, a little before time for the visiting hour, he went out to the asylum. His arms were loaded with the parts of the moving-picture machine and the basket of fruit he carried his friend.He went immediately to the ward where he had visited Antonapoulos before.

The corridor, the door, the rows of beds were just as he remembered them. He stood at the threshold and looked eagerly for his friend.But he saw at once that though all the chairs were occupied, Antonapoulos was not there.

Singer put down his packages and wrote at the bottom of one of his cards，“Where is Spiros Antonapoulos?”A nurse came into the room and he handed her the card. She did not understand.She shook her head and raised her shoulders.He went out into the corridor and handed the card to everyone he met.Nobody knew.There was such a panic in him that he began motioning with his hands.At last he met an interne in a white coat.He plucked at the interne's elbow and gave him the card.The interne read it carefully and then guided him through several halls.They came to a small room where a young woman sat at a desk before some papers.She read the card and then looked through some files in a drawer.

Tears of nervousness and fear swam in Singer's eyes. The young woman began deliberately to write on a pad of paper, and he could not restrain himself from twisting around to see immediately what was being written about his friend.

Mr.Antonapoulos has been transferred to the infirmary.He is ill with nephritis.I will have someone show you the way.

On the way through the corridors he stopped to pick up the packages he had left at the door of the ward. The basket of fruit had been stolen, but the other boxes were intact.He followed the interne out of the building and across a plot of grass to the infirmary.

Antonapoulos！When they reached the proper ward he saw him at the first glance. His bed was placed in the middle of the room and he was sitting propped with pillows.He wore a scarlet dressing-gown and green silk pajamas and a turquoise ring.His skin was a pale yellow color, his eyes very dreamy and dark.His black hair was touched at the temples with silver.He was knitting.His fat fingers worked with the long ivory needles very slowly.At first he did not see his friend.Then when Singer stood before him he smiled serenely, without surprise, and held out his jeweled hand.

A feeling of shyness and restraint such as he had never known before came over Singer. He sat down by the bed and folded his hands on the edge of the counterpane.His eyes did not leave the face of his friend and he was deathly pale.The splendor of his friend's raiment startled him.On various occasions he had sent him each article of the outfit, but he had not imagined how they would look when all combined.Antonapoulos was more enormous than he had remembered.The great pulpy folds of his abdomen showed beneath his silk pajamas.His head was immense against the white pillow.The placid composure of his face was so profound that he seemed hardly to be aware that Singer was with him.

Singer raised his hands timidly and began to speak. His strong, skilled fingers shaped the signs with loving precision.He spoke of the cold and of the long months alone.He mentioned old memories, the cat that had died, the store, the place where he lived.At each pause Antonapoulos nodded graciously.He spoke of the four people and the long visits to his room.The eyes of his friend were moist and dark, and in them he saw the little rectangled pictures of himself that he had watched a thousand times.The warm blood flowed back to his face and his hands quickened.He spoke at length of the black man and the one with the jerking mustache and the girl.The designs of his hands shaped faster and faster.Antonapoulos nodded with slow gravity.Eagerly Singer leaned closer and he breathed with long, deep breaths and in his eyes there were bright tears.

Then suddenly Antonapoulos made a slow circle in the air with his plump forefinger. His finger circled toward Singer and at last he poked his friend in the stomach.The big Greek's smile grew very broad and he stuck out his fat, pink tongue.Singer laughed and his hands shaped the words with wild speed.His shoulders shook with laughter and his head hung backward.Why he laughed he did not know.Antonapoulos rolled his eyes.Singer continued to laugh riotously until his breath was gone and his fingers trembled.He grasped the arm of his friend and tried to steady himself.His laughs came slow and painfully like hiccoughs.

Antonapoulos was the first to compose himself. His fat little feet had untucked the cover at the bottom of the bed.His smile faded and he kicked contemptuously at the blanket.Singer hastened to put things right, but Antonapoulos frowned and held up his finger regally to a nurse who was passing through the ward.When she had straightened the bed to his liking the big Greek inclined his head so deliberately that the gesture seemed one of benediction rather than a simple nod of thanks.Then he turned gravely to his friend again.

As Singer talked he did not realize how the time had passed. Only when a nurse brought Antonapoulos his supper on a tray did he realize that it was late.The lights in the ward were turned on and outside the windows it was almost dark.The other patients had trays of supper before them also.They had put down their work（some of them wove baskets, others did leatherwork or knitted）and they were eating listlessly.Besides Antonapoulos they all seemed very sick and colorless.Most of them needed a haircut and they wore seedy gray nightshirts slit down the back.They stared at the two mutes with wonder.

Antonapoulos lifted the cover from his dish and inspected the food carefully. There was fish and some vegetables.He picked up the fish and held it to the light in the palm of his hand for a thorough examination.Then he ate with relish.During supper he began to point out the various people in the room.He pointed to one man in the corner and made faces of disgust.The man snarled at him.He pointed to a young boy and smiled and nodded and waved his plump hand.Singer was too happy to feel embarrassment.He picked up the packages from the floor and laid them on the bed to distract his friend.Antonapoulos took off the wrappings, but the machine did not interest him at all.He turned back to his supper.

Singer handed the nurse a note explaining about the movie. She called an interne and then they brought in a doctor.As the three of them consulted they looked curiously at Singer.The news reached the patients and they propped up on their elbows excitedly.Only Antonapoulos was not disturbed.

Singer had practiced with the movie beforehand. He set up the screen so that it could be watched by all the patients.Then he worked with the projector and the film.The nurse took out the supper trays and the lights in the ward were turned off.A Mickey Mouse comedy flashed on the screen.

Singer watched his friend. At first Antonapoulos was startled.He heaved himself up for a better view and would have risen from the bed if the nurse had not restrained him.Then he watched with a beaming smile.Singer could see the other patients calling out to each other and laughing.Nurses and orderlies came in from the hall and the whole ward was in commotion.When the Mickey Mouse was finished Singer put on a Popeye film.Then at the conclusion of this film he felt that the entertainment had lasted long enough for the first time.He switched on the light and the ward settled down again.As the interne put the machine under his friend's bed he saw Antonapoulos slyly cut his eyes across the ward to be certain that each person realized that the machine was his.

Singer began to talk with his hands again. He knew that he would soon be asked to leave, but the thoughts he had stored in his mind were too big to be said in a short time.He talked with frantic haste.In the ward there was an old man whose head shook with palsy and who picked feebly at his eyebrows.He envied the old man because he lived with Antonapoulos day after day.Singer would have exchanged places with him joyfully.

His friend fumbled for something in his bosom. It was the little brass cross that he had always worn.The dirty string had been replaced by a red ribbon.Singer thought of the dream and he told that, also, to his friend.In his haste the signs sometimes became blurred and he had to shake his hands and begin all over.Antonapoulos watched him with his dark, drowsy eyes.Sitting motionless in his bright, rich garments he seemed like some wise king from a legend.

The interne in charge of the ward allowed Singer to stay for an hour past the visiting time. Then at last he held out his thin, hairy wrist and showed him his watch.The patients were settled for sleep.Singer's hand faltered.He grasped his friend by the arm and looked intently into his eyes as he used to do each morning when they parted for work.Finally Singer backed himself out of the room.At the doorway his hands signed a broken farewell and then clenched into fists.

During the moonlit January nights Singer continued to walk about the streets of the town each evening when he was not engaged. The rumors about him grew bolder.An old Negro woman told hundreds of people that he knew the ways of spirits come back from the dead.A certain piece-worker claimed that he had worked with the mute at another mill somewhere else in the state—and the tales he told were unique.The rich thought that he was rich and the poor considered him a poor man like themselves.And as there was no way to disprove these rumors they grew marvelous and very real.Each man described the mute as he wished him to be.