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双语·摸彩:雪莉·杰克逊短篇小说选 珍妮丝

所属教程:译林版·摸彩:雪莉·杰克逊短篇小说选

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2022年05月05日

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Janice

First, to me on the phone, in a half-amused melancholy:“Guess I'm not going back to school...”

“Why not, Jan?”

“Oh, my mother. She says we can't afford it.” How can I reproduce the uncaring inflections of Janice's voice, saying conversationally that what she wanted she could not have? “So I guess I'm not going back.”

“I'm so sorry, Jan.”

But then, struck by another thought: “Y'know what?”

“What?”

“Darn near killed myself this afternoon.”

“Jan! How?”

Almost whimsical, indifferent: “Locked myself in the garage and turned on the car motor.”

“But why?”

“I dunno. 'Cause I couldn't go back, I suppose.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, the fellow that was cutting our lawn heard the motor and came and got me. I was pretty near out.”

“But that's terrible, Jan. What ever possessed—”

“Oh, well. Say—” changing again, “—going to Sally's tonight?”

And, later, that night at Sally's where Janice was not the center of the group, but sat talking to me and to Bob: “Nearly killed myself this afternoon, Bob.”

“What!”

Lightly: “Nearly killed myself. Locked myself in the garage with the car motor running.”

“But why, Jan?”

“I guess because they wouldn't let me go back to school.”

“Oh, I'm sorry about that, Jan. But what about this afternoon? What did you do?”

“Man cutting the grass got me out.”

Sally coming over: “What's this, Jan?”

“Oh, I'm not going back to school.”

Myself, cutting in: “How did it feel to be dying, Jan?”

Laughing “Gee, funny. All black.” Then, to Sally's incredulous stare: “Nearly killed myself this afternoon, Sally...”

珍妮丝

第一次,她是在电话中,用一种半开玩笑半忧伤的口吻对我说:“我觉得再也上不了学了……”

“为什么呀,珍?”

“呃,是因为我妈妈,她说我们家负担不起了。”我简直无法描述说这话时珍妮丝声音中那种满不在乎的腔调。实际上她是在用一种很平淡的语气说着一个可望而不可即的东西。“所以我觉得我不会再上学了。”

“我真的很遗憾,珍。”

但是过了一会儿,她好像又突然想起了什么。“你知道吗?”

“什么?”

“今天下午我差点儿要了自己的命。”

“珍!怎么回事?”

她用古怪、冷漠的口吻说道:“我把自己锁在车库里,然后发动了汽车。”

“可是为什么呀?”

“我不知道。可能是因为我不能回去上学的原因吧,我想。”

“后来呢?”

“呃,有个家伙正在修剪我们的草坪,他听见了马达声,跑过来发现了我,那个时候我都快要一命归西了。”

“真是太可怕了,珍。你究竟被什么迷住了心窍……”

“呃,好了,还是……”她改变了话题,“今晚还去萨利家吗?”

后来,在萨利家的那天晚上,大家都没怎么注意珍妮丝,但是她坐在那儿,一会儿对着我,一会儿又对着鲍勃说:“今天下午我差点儿自杀了,鲍勃。”

“什么!”

她轻声地说:“我差点儿杀了自己。我把自己反锁在车库里,让汽车的马达一直转着。”

“到底为什么呀,珍?”

“我想是因为他们不想让我上学了。”

“哦,我很遗憾听你这么说,珍。但是今天下午是怎么回事?瞧你都干了些什么?”

“正在割草的工人救了我。”

萨利走了过来,问:“怎么啦,珍?”

“呃,我上不了学了。”

我这时忍不住插了话:“快死的时候是什么感觉,珍?”

她哈哈大笑起来,“哇,好玩,四周一片漆黑。”然后,她对着瞠目结舌而又半信半疑的萨利说道:“今天下午,我差点儿自杀,萨利……”

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