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双语·邦斯舅舅 十二、男女门房的标本

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2022年05月28日

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XII

Any one passing along the Rue de Normandie might be pardoned for thinking that he was in some small provincial town. Grass runs to seed in the street, everybody knows everybody else, and the sight of a stranger is an event. The houses date back to the reign of Henry IV, when there was a scheme afoot for a quarter in which every street was to be named after a French province, and all should converge in a handsome square to which La France should stand godmother. The Quartier de l'Europe was a revival of the same idea; history repeats itself everywhere in the world, and even in the world of speculation. The house in which the two musicians used to live is an old mansion with a courtyard in front and a garden at the back; but the front part of the house which gives upon the street is comparatively modern, built during the eighteenth century when the Marais was a fashionable quarter. The friends lived at the back, on the second floor of the old part of the house. The whole building belongs to M. Pillerault, an old man of eighty, who left matters very much in the hands of M. and Mme. Cibot, his porters for the past twenty-six years. Now, as a porter cannot live by his lodge alone, the aforesaid Cibot had other means of gaining a livelihood; and supplemented his five per cent on the rental and his faggot from every cartload of wood by his own earnings as a tailor. In time Cibot ceased to work for the master tailors; he made a connection among the little trades-people of the quarter, and enjoyed a monopoly of the repairs, renovations, and fine drawing of all the coats and trousers in three adjacent streets. The lodge was spacious and wholesome, and boasted a second room; wherefore the Cibot couple were looked upon as among the luckiest porters in the arrondissement.

Cibot, small and stunted, with a complexion almost olive-colored by reason of sitting day in day out in Turk-fashion on a table level with the barred window, made about twelve or fourteen francs a week. He worked still, though he was fifty-eight years old, but fifty-eight is the porter's golden age; he is used to his lodge, he and his room fit each other like the shell and the oyster, and "he is known in the neighborhood."

Mme. Cibot, sometime opener of oysters at the Cadran Bleu, after all the adventures which come unsought to the belle of an oyster-bar, left her post for love of Cibot at the age of twenty-eight. The beauty of a woman of the people is short-lived, especially if she is planted espalier fashion at a restaurant door. Her features are hardened by puffs of hot air from the kitchen; the color of the heeltaps of customers' bottles, finished in the company of the waiters, gradually filters into her complexion—no beauty is full blown so soon as the beauty of an oyster-opener. Luckily for Mme. Cibot, lawful wedlock and a portress' life were offered to her just in time; while she still preserved a comeliness of a masculine order slandered by rivals of the Rue de Normandie, who called her "a great blowsy thing," Mme. Cibot might have sat as a model to Rubens. Those flesh tints reminded you of the appetizing sheen on a pat of Isigny butter; but plump as she was, no woman went about her work with more agility. Mme. Cibot had attained the time of life when women of her stamp are obliged to shave—which is as much as to say that she had reached the age of forty-eight. A porter's wife with a moustache is one of the best possible guarantees of respectability and security that a landlord can have. If Delacroix could have seen Mme. Cibot leaning proudly on her broom handle, he would assuredly have painted her as Bellona.

Strange as it may seem, the circumstances of the Cibots, man and wife (in the style of an indictment), were one day to affect the lives of the two friends; wherefore the chronicler, as in duty bound, must give some particulars as to the Cibots' lodge. The house brought in about eight thousand francs for there were three complete sets of apartments—back and front, on the side nearest the Rue de Normandie, as well as the three floors in the older mansion between the courtyard and the garden, and a shop kept by a marine store-dealer named Remonencq, which fronted on the street. During the past few months this Remonencq had begun to deal in old curiosities, and knew the value of Pons' collection so well that he took off his hat whenever the musician came in or went out. A sou in the livre on eight thousand francs therefore brought in about four hundred francs to the Cibots. They had no rent to pay and no expenses for firing; Cibot's earnings amounted on an average to seven or eight hundred francs, add tips at New Year, and the pair had altogether in income of sixteen hundred francs, every penny of which they spent, for the Cibots lived and fared better than working people usually do. "One can only live once," La Cibot used to say. She was born during the Revolution, you see, and had never learned her Catechism.

The husband of this portress with the unblenching tawny eyes was an object of envy to the whole fraternity, for La Cibot had not forgotten the knowledge of cookery picked up at the Cadran Bleu. So it had come to pass that the Cibots had passed the prime of life, and saw themselves on the threshold of old age without a hundred francs put by for the future. Well clad and well fed, they enjoyed among the neighbors, it is true, the respect due to twenty-six years of strict honesty; for if they had nothing of their own, they "hadn't nothing belonging to nobody else," according to La Cibot, who was a prodigal of negatives. "There wasn't never such a love of a man," she would say to her husband. Do you ask why? You might as well ask the reason of her indifference in matters of religion. Both of them were proud of a life lived in open day, of the esteem in which they were held for six or seven streets round about, and of the autocratic rule permitted to them by the proprietor ("perprietor," they called him); but in private they groaned because they had no money lying at interest. Cibot complained of pains in his hands and legs, and his wife would lament that her poor, dear Cibot should be forced to work at his age; and, indeed, the day is not far distant when a porter after thirty years of such a life will cry shame upon the injustice of the Government and clamor for the ribbon of the Legion of Honor. Every time that the gossip of the quarter brought news of such and such a servant-maid, left an annuity of three or four hundred francs after eight or ten years of service, the porters' lodges would resound with complaints, which may give some idea of the consuming jealousies in the lowest walks of life in Paris.

Oh, indeed! It will never happen to the like of us to have our names mentioned in a will! We have no luck, but we do more than servants, for all that. We fill a place of trust; we give receipts, we are on the lookout for squalls, and yet we are treated like dogs, neither more nor less, and that's the truth!

Some find fortune and some miss fortune, said Cibot, coming in with a coat.

If I had left Cibot here in his lodge and taken a place as cook, we should have our thirty thousand francs out at interest, cried Mme. Cibot, standing chatting with a neighbor, her hands on her prominent hips. "But I didn't understand how to get on in life; housed inside of a snug lodge and firing found and want for nothing, but that is all."

十二、男女门房的标本

巴黎颇有些诺曼底街那样的街道,教你一进去就像到了内地:在那儿野草会开花,有个过路人就会引起注意,四邻八舍都彼此认识。房屋全要追溯到亨利四世的朝代,当时特意开辟这个区域,要把每条街题上一个州省的名字,中心造一个规模宏丽的广场题献给国家[1]。以后的欧罗巴区等等,便是这个计划的重演。世界上的一切,连人的思想计划在内,都得到处重演。两位音乐家在一所前有院子后有花园的老屋子内,住着三楼全部;临街的一幢,却是在上一世纪玛莱区最走红的时代盖的[2]。前后两幢都是一个八十老人叫作比勒洛的产业,代管的是他用了二十六年的门房,西卜先生和西卜太太。但因进项不多,使一个在玛莱区当看门的人没法生活,所以西卜除了在房租上拿百分之五的回扣,在每车木柴上抽一定数量的燃料之外,还靠他的手艺挣点儿钱:跟好多门房一样,他是个成衣匠。一来二去,西卜在街坊上有了信用,不再替成衣铺老板做活,而专门给周围三条街上的人缝补,翻新;这些活儿,他在本区里是没人竞争的。门房很宽敞,空气很好,附带还有间卧房,因此西卜夫妇被认为一区的同业中最幸福的一对。

西卜生得单薄,矮小,整天坐着不动的生活,把他的皮肤差不多变成了橄榄色。伏在跟临街那个装有铁栅的窗洞一般高低的工作台上,平均挣二法郎一天。虽然到了五十八岁,他还在做活;可是五十八岁正是看门人的黄金时代,他们待在门房里正是得其所哉,仿佛牡蛎守着它的壳一样;而且到了这个年纪,他们在一区里是妇孺皆知的人物了。

西卜太太从前是个牡蛎美人[3],凡是牡蛎美人不用追求而自然能遇到的风流艳事,她都经历过来;然后到二十八岁,因为爱上西卜,向蓝钟饭店辞了工。小家碧玉的姿色是保持不久的,尤其是排列成行,坐在菜馆门口做活的女人。炉灶的热气射在她们脸上,使线条变硬;和跑堂的一块儿喝的剩酒,渗进她们的皮肤;因此牡蛎美人的花容玉貌是衰老得最快的。西卜太太还算运气,正式的婚姻和门房的生活,刚好在紧要关头把她的美貌保住了。凭着那种男性美,她很可以做鲁本斯的模特儿[4],诺曼底街上忌妒她的同业却胡说乱道,叫她大阿福。皮肤闪闪发光,跟整堆的伊西尼牛油一样教人开胃。虽是胖子,她楼上楼下做起活来,那股快当劲儿却是谁也不能比。她已经到了那一流的女人需要剃胡子的年纪。这不是说她四十八了吗?看门女人的胡子,对业主是整齐与安全的保障。倘若特拉克洛阿瞧见西卜太太大模大样地扶着她的长扫帚,准会把她画做一个罗马时代的女战神的。

古怪的是,西卜夫妇(照法院公诉书的口吻,应当说男人西卜,妻某氏)的地位,竟会有一天影响到两位朋友的生活!所以写历史的人不得不把门房的内情叙述得详细一点,以求忠实。临街的屋子一共有三个公寓,院子和花园之间的老屋也有三个公寓,全部房租共计八千法郎左右。此外有个卖旧铜铁器的商人叫作雷蒙诺克的,占着一个靠街的铺面。这雷蒙诺克近几月来改做了古董生意,很知道邦斯藏品的价值,看见音乐家进进出出,总得在铺子里向他打个招呼。所以西卜夫妇除了住房跟柴火不花钱之外,房租上的回扣大概有四百法郎;西卜做活的收入每年统扯有七八百;加上年赏什么的,进款的总数约有一千六,都不折不扣地给夫妻俩吃掉了。他们日子过得比一般的平民都好,西卜女人老说:“人生一世,只此一遭!”由此可见她这个大革命时期出生的人,干脆不知道什么叫作《教理问答》。

眼睛橘黄色而目光傲慢的看门女人,凭着蓝钟饭店的经历,懂得点儿烹调,使她丈夫受到所有的同业羡慕。因此,到了中年而快要踏进老年的时候,西卜夫妇连一百法郎的积蓄都没有。穿得好,吃得好,他们还靠着二十六年的清白在街坊上受人尊重。他们固然家无恒产,可也没有(用他们的说法)拿过人家唔个小钱;因为西卜太太讲话特别多用N音,她对丈夫说:“你唔是个唔宝贝!”这种怪腔怪调,是跟她的不理会宗教一样的无理可说。两口儿对于这种毫无亏心事的生活,六七条街上的人的敬重,业主让他们管理屋子的大权,非常得意;可是有了这些而不能同时也有储蓄,不免使他们暗中发急。西卜常常抱怨手脚酸痛,而西卜太太也嘀嘀咕咕的,说她可怜的西卜到这个年纪还得做活。早晚会有那么一天,一个看门的过了三十年这种生活之后,要怨政府不公平,没有给他荣誉团勋章!只要有人在闲话中间提到某个老妈子只干了近十年,东家便在遗嘱上给了她三四百法郎终身年金,马上会一传十,十传百,到处在门房里引起许多唠叨,证明巴黎那些干下等行业的存着多少忌妒的心:

“唉!咱们哪,就轮不到在遗嘱上有个名字!咱们没有这福气!可是哼,那些仆人能跟我们比吗?我们是人家的心腹,经手房租,替他们看着这个,守着那个;可是人家只拿我们当狗看待,不多不少,就跟狗一样,你瞧!”

“一切都是运道!”西卜从外边拿着件衣服回来,说。

西卜太太双手叉在粗大的腰里和邻居聊天的时候,直着嗓子叫道:“要是我把西卜丢在门房里,自个儿去当厨娘,现在也能有三万法郎存起来了。我不会做人,只晓得守着舒服的屋子,暖暖和和的,既不省穿又不省吃的。”

注解:

[1] 玛莱区中的广场,原名王家广场(今名伏越广场),故作者言“题献给国家”。

[2] 玛莱区即今巴黎第三第四区的一部分,兴建于十七世纪初亨利四世与路易十三两朝,至十八世纪为止,素为巴黎勋贵旧家的住宅区。

[3] 巴黎的大酒店雇有专剖牡蛎的女工。牡蛎美人有如我们所谓的豆腐西施。

[4] 佛兰德大画家鲁本斯(1577—1640)所作裸体女子,素以丰硕壮健著称。

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