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双语·王子与贫儿 第五章 汤姆当了王子

所属教程:译林版·王子与贫儿

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2022年05月16日

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Chapter V.Tom as a Patrician

Tom Canty, left alone in the prince's cabinet, made good use of his opportunity.He turned himself this way and that before the great mirror, admiring his finery;then walked away, imitating the prince's high-bred carriage, and still observing results in the glass.Next he drew the beautiful sword, and bowed, kissing the blade, and laying it across his breast, as he had seen a noble knight do, by way of salute to the lieutenant of the Tower, five or six weeks before, when delivering the great lords of Norfolk and Surrey into his hands for captivity.Tom played with the jewelled dagger that hung upon his thigh;he examined the costly and exquisite ornaments of the room;he tried each of the sumptuous chairs, and thought how proud he would be if the Offal Court herd could only peep in and see him in his grandeur.He wondered if they would believe the marvellous tale he should tell when he got home, or if they would shake their heads, and say his overtaxed imagination had at last upset his reason.

At the end of half an hour it suddenly occurred to him that the prince was gone a long time;then right away he began to feel lonely;very soon he fell to listening and longing, and ceased to toy with the pretty things about him;he grew uneasy, then restless, then distressed.Suppose some one should come, and catch him in the prince's clothes, and the prince not there to explain.Might they not hang him at once, and inquire into his case afterward?He had heard that the great were prompt about small matters.His fear rose higher and higher;and trembling he softly opened the door to the antechamber, resolved to fly and seek the prince, and, through him, protection and release.Six gorgeous gentlemen-servants and two young pages of high degree, clothed like butterflies, sprung to their feet, and bowed low before him.He stepped quickly back and shut the door.He said:

“Oh, they mock at me!They will go and tell.Oh!why came I here to cast away my life?”

He walked up and down the floor, filled with nameless fears, listening, starting at every trifling sound.Presently the door swung open, and a silken page said:

“The Lady Jane Grey.”

The door closed and a sweet young girl, richly clad, bounded toward him.But she stopped suddenly, and said in a distressed voice:

“Oh, what aileth thee, my lord?”

Tom's breath was nearly failing him;but he made shift to stammer out:

“Ah, be merciful, thou!In sooth I am no lord, but only poor Tom Canty of Offal Court in the city.Prithee let me see the prince, and he will of his grace restore to me my rags, and let me hence unhurt.Oh, be thou merciful, and save me!”

By this time the boy was on his knees, and supplicating with his eyes and uplifted hands as well as with his tongue.The young girl seemed horror-stricken.She cried out:

“Oh, my lord, on thy knees?—and to me!”

Then she fled away in fright;and Tom, smitten with despair, sank down, murmuring:

“There is no help, there is no hope.Now will they come and take me.”

Whilst he lay there benumbed with terror, dreadful tidings were speeding through the palace.The whisper, for it was whispered always,flew from menial to menial, from lord to lady, down all the long corridors, from story to story, from saloon to saloon,“The prince hath gone mad, the prince hath gone mad!”Soon every saloon, every marble hall, had its groups of glittering lords and ladies, and other groups of dazzling lesser folk, talking earnestly together in whispers, and every face had in it dismay.Presently a splendid official came marching by these groups, making solemn proclamation:

“IN THE NAME OF THE KING!

Let none list to this false and foolish matter, upon pain of death, nor discuss the same, nor carry it abroad.In the name of the King!”

The whisperings ceased as suddenly as if the whisperers had been stricken dumb.

Soon there was a general buzz along the corridors, of “The prince!See, the prince comes!”

Poor Tom came slowly walking past the low-bowing groups, trying to bow in return, and meekly gazing upon his strange surroundings with bewildered and pathetic eyes.Great nobles walked upon each side of him, making him lean upon them, and so steady his steps.Behind him followed the court physicians and some servants.

Presently Tom found himself in a noble apartment of the palace, and heard the door close behind him.Around him stood those who had come with him.

Before him, at a little distance, reclined a very large and very fat man, with a wide, pulpy face, and a stern expression.His large head was very grey;and his whiskers, which he wore only around his face, like a frame, were grey also.His clothing was of rich stuff, but old, and slightly frayed in places.One of his swollen legs had a pillow under it, and was wrapped in bandages.There was silence now;and there was no head there but was bent in reverence, except this man's.This stern-countenanced invalid was the dread Henry VIII.He said—and his face grew gentle as he began to speak:

“How now, my lord Edward, my prince?Hast been minded to cozen me, the good king thy father, who loveth thee, and kindly useth thee, with a sorry jest?”

Poor Tom was listening, as well as his dazed faculties would let him, to the beginning of this speech;but when the words “me the good king”fell upon his ear, his face blanched, and he dropped as instantly upon his knees as if a shot had brought him there.Lifting up his hands, he exclaimed:

“Thou the king?Then am I undone indeed!”

This speech seemed to stun the king.His eyes wandered from face to face aimlessly, then rested, bewildered, upon the boy before him.Then he said in a tone of deep disappointment:

“Alack, I had believed the rumour disproportioned to the truth;but I fear me 'tis not so.”He breathed a heavy sigh, and said in a gentle voice,“Come to thy father, child:thou art not well.”

Tom was assisted to his feet, and approached the Majesty of England, humble and trembling.The king took the frightened face between his hands, and gazed earnestly and lovingly into it awhile, as if seeking some grateful sign of returning reason there, then pressed the curly head against his breast, and patted it tenderly.Presently he said:

“Dost not know thy father, child?Break not mine old heart;say thou know'st me.Thou dost know me, dost thou not?”

“Yea;thou art my dread lord the king, whom God preserve!”

“True, true—that is well—be comforted, tremble not so;there is none here would hurt thee;there is none here but loves thee.Thou art better now;thy ill dream passeth—is't not so?And thou knowest thyself now also—is't not so?Thou wilt not miscall thyself again, as they say thou didst a little while agone?”

“I pray thee of thy grace believe me, I did but speak the truth, most dread lord;for I am the meanest among thy subjects, being a pauper born, and 'tis by a sore mischance and accident I am here, albeit I was therein nothing blameful;I am but young to die, and thou canst save me with one little word.Oh speak it, sir!”

“Die?Talk not so, sweet prince—peace, peace, to thy troubled heart—thou shalt not die!”

Tom dropped upon his knees with a glad cry:

“God requite thy mercy, oh my king, and save thee long to bless thy land!”Then springing up, he turned a joyful face toward the two lords in waiting, and exclaimed,“Thou heard'st it!I am not to die:the king hath said it!”There was no movement, save that all bowed with grave respect;but no one spoke.He hesitated, a little confused, then turned timidly toward the king, saying,“I may go now?”

“Go?Surely, if thou desirest.But why not tarry yet a little?Whither wouldst go?”

Tom dropped his eyes, and answered humbly:

“Peradventure I mistook;but I did think me free, and so was I moved to seek again the kennel where I was born and bred to misery, yet which harboureth my mother and my sisters, and so is home to me;whereas these pomps and splendours where unto I am not used—oh, please you, sir, to let me go!”

The king was silent and thoughtful awhile, and his face betrayed a growing distress and uneasiness.Presently he said, with something of hope in his voice:

“Perchance he is but mad upon this one strain, and hath his with unmarred as toucheth other matter.God send it may be so!We will make trial.”

Then he asked Tom a question in Latin, and Tom answered him lamely in the same tongue.The king was delighted, and showed it.The lords and doctors manifested their gratification also.The king said:

“'Twas not according to his schooling and ability, but showeth that his mind is but diseased, not stricken fatally.How say you, sir?”

The physician addressed bowed low, and replied:

“It jumpeth with mine own conviction, sire, that thou hast divined aright.”

The king looked pleased with this encouragement, coming as it did from so excellent authority, and continued with good heart:

“Now mark ye all:we will try him further.”

He put a question to Tom in French.Tom stood silent a moment, embarrassed by having so many eyes centered upon him, then said diffidently:

“I have no knowledge of this tongue, so please your majesty.”

The king fell back upon his couch.The attendants flew to his assistance;but he put them aside, and said:

“Trouble me not—it is nothing but a scurvy faintness.Raise me!There,'tis sufficient.Come hither, child;there, rest thy poor troubled head upon thy father's heart, and be at peace.Thou'lt soon be well:'tis but a passing fantasy.Fear thou not;thou'lt soon be well.”Then he turned toward the company:his gentle manner changed, and baleful lightnings began to play from his eyes.He said:

“List ye all!This my son is mad;but it is not permanent.Over-study hath done this, and somewhat too much of confinement.Away with his books and teachers!see ye to it.Pleasure him with sports, beguile him in wholesome ways, so that his health come again.”He raised himself higher still, and went on with energy,“He is mad;but he is my son, and England's heir;and, mad or sane, still shall he reign!And hear ye further, and proclaim it:whose speaketh of this his distemper worketh against the peace and order of these realms, and shall to the gallows!…Give me to drink—I burn:this sorrow sappeth my strength.…There, take away the cup.…Support me.There, that is well.Mad, is he?Were he a thousand times mad, yet is he Prince of Wales, and I the king will confirm it.This very morrow shall he be installed in his princely dignity in due and ancient form.Take instant order for it, my Lord Hertford.”

One of the nobles knelt at the royal couch, and said:

“The king's majesty knoweth that the Hereditary Great Marshal of England lieth attainted in the Tower.It were not meet that one attainted—”

“Peace!Insult not mine ears with his hated name.Is this man to live forever?Am I to be balked of my will?Is the prince to tarry uninstalled, because, forsooth, the realm lacketh an earl marshal free of treasonable taint to invest him with his honours?No, by the splendour of God!Warn my Parliament to bring me Norfolk's doom before the sun rise again, else shall they answer for it grievously!”

Lord Hertford said:

“The king's will is law;”and, rising, returned to his former place.

Gradually the wrath faded out of the old king's face, and he said:

“Kiss me, my prince.There.…what fearest thou?Am I not thy loving father?”

“Thou art good to me that am unworthy, Omighty and gracious lord:that in truth I know.But—but—it grieveth me to think of him that is to die, and—”

“Ah,'tis like thee,'tis like thee!I know thy heart is still the same, even though thy mind hath suffered hurt, for thou wert ever of a gentle spirit.But this duke standeth between thee and thine honours:I will have another in his stead that shall bring no taint to his great office.Comfort thee, my prince:trouble not thy poor head with this matter.”

“But is it not I that speed him hence, my liege?How long might he not live, but for me?”

“Take no thought of him, my prince:he is not worthy.Kiss me once again, and go to thy trifles and amusements;for my malady distresseth me.I am aweary, and would rest.Go with thine uncle Hertford and thy people, and come again when my body is refreshed.”

Tom, heavy-hearted, was conducted from the presence, for this last sentence was a death-blow to the hope he had cherished that now he would be set free.Once more he heard the buzz of low voices exclaiming,“The prince, the prince comes!”

His spirits sank lower and lower as he moved between the glittering files of bowing courtiers;for he recognised that he was indeed a captive now, and might remain forever shut up in this gilded cage, a forlorn and friendless prince, except God in his mercy take pity on him and set him free.

And, turn where he would, he seemed to see floating in the air the severed head and the remembered face of the great Duke of Norfolk, the eyes fixed on him reproachfully.

His old dreams had been so pleasant;but this reality was so dreary!

第五章 汤姆当了王子

汤姆·康第独自留在王子的私室里,充分利用这个机会,欣赏了一番。他站在大镜子前面,把身子左右转动,欣赏他那一身华贵的衣裳;然后又走开,一面模仿王子那种出身高贵的风度,一面在镜子里观察着效果。然后他就抽出那把漂亮的剑来,鞠一个躬,吻一吻剑,再把它横放在胸前,这些姿势是他五六个星期前,从所看见的一位高贵的爵士那儿学来的。那时候这位爵士押解着诺阜克和索利那两个大勋爵,把他们移交给伦敦塔的副官看管时,就是这样给他敬礼的。汤姆还抚弄着大腿旁边挂着的那把镶着宝石的短刀,又仔细察看屋子里那些贵重和精致的装饰品;他试坐每一把豪华的椅子,心里想着,假如垃圾大院那一群野孩子也能往里面偷看一下,瞧见他这副威风十足的样子,他该会多么得意。他怀疑他回家之后给他们叙述这段经过,他们会不会相信他这个神奇的故事,是不是会摇摇头,说他那想入非非的脑子幻想过度,终于使他丧失理智了。

过了半小时,他忽然想起王子已经出去很大工夫了,于是他立刻就觉得寂寞起来;不久他就开始静听和盼望,再也不玩弄他身边那些漂亮东西了;他渐渐感到不安,然后又感到焦急,再往后就感到苦恼。万一有人进来,发现他穿着王子的衣服,而王子又不在这儿,那岂不糟糕!难道他们不先把他处以绞刑,然后再来调查这桩事情的真相吗?他曾经听说过大人物处理小事是说做就做的。他的恐惧越来越高涨,于是他战战兢兢地悄悄打开通往外面那个房间的门,决定跑出去寻找王子,希望从他那里获得保护和解脱。六个穿着华丽的御仆和两个穿得像蝴蝶似的高级小侍突然一齐站起,在他面前深深地鞠躬致敬。他连忙后退,把门关上。他说:

“啊,他们和我开玩笑!他们会去报告。啊!我为什么要上这儿来送死呢?”

他在屋里走来走去,心中充满了无名的恐惧,一面静听着,每逢有点儿小声音他就大吃一惊。随后那扇门忽然打开,一个穿绸衣服的小侍说:

“洁恩·格雷公主驾到。”

门又关上了,于是有一个穿得很阔气的可爱的年轻姑娘向他蹦蹦跳跳地走过来。可是她忽然站住,用焦急的声调说:“啊,您怎么了,不舒服吗,殿下?”

汤姆吓得几乎要断气了,可是他勉强撑持着吞吞吐吐地说:“哎呀,请您开恩!老实说我并不是什么殿下,不过是城里垃圾大院可怜的汤姆·康第罢了。请您让我见到王子,他就会开恩把我的破衣服还给我,并且还放我走,不叫我吃亏。啊,请您大发慈悲,救救我吧!”

这时候汤姆已经双膝跪下,同时用眼睛和举起的双手帮助着唇舌恳求。那年轻的姑娘似乎是被吓得魂不附体了。她大声喊道:

“啊,殿下,您怎么下跪?——怎么向我下跪呀!”

于是她惊惶地逃跑了;汤姆因绝望而痛苦不堪,他瘫倒在地上,喃喃地说:

“无可挽救了,无可挽救了。这下子他们准会来把我抓去呀。”

他在那儿躺着因恐惧而失去知觉的时候,可怕的消息在宫中飞快地传播开了。这个消息由大家用耳语传播着——因为宫廷里照例是用耳语传播消息的——这个奴仆告诉那个奴仆,官臣告诉贵妇,顺着所有的长廊一直传播过去,这层楼传到那层楼,这个花厅传到那个花厅,“王子发疯了,王子发疯了!”不久,每个花厅、每个大理石的大厅,都聚集了成群的光彩夺目的官臣和贵妇,还有成群的服饰耀眼的其他次要人物,大家都在一起关切地低声谈论着,各人脸上都露出惊慌的神色。随后,一位衣着华丽的官员迈着大步走过这些人身边,发布庄严的公告:

以国王的名义:不准轻信此项无稽谣言,亦不得议论此事,或向外传布;违者处死。以国王的名义!

耳语的交谈突然终止了,好像谈论的人都一下子变成了哑巴似的。

过了一会儿,各处走廊上到处又有一片叽叽喳喳的声音,大家都说:“王子!瞧,王子过来了!”

可怜的汤姆慢慢地走过来,经过那一群一群的深深鞠躬的人身边,想要鞠躬答礼而又不敢,同时他那双慌张的、可怜的眼睛畏畏缩缩地注视着周围那种稀奇的情景。大臣们在他两边走着,让他靠在他们身上,借此使他的脚步走得稳一些。他背后还跟着御医和几个仆人。

随后,汤姆发觉他自己到了宫里的一个豪华房间里,听见他背后有人把门关上了。他周围站着那些陪他一同来的人。

在他前面距离稍远的地方,有一个身材高大、长得很胖的人斜倚在床头,面孔宽大而多肉,脸色很庄严。他那头发是灰白的;他只在面孔周围留着络腮胡子,像一个镜框似的,胡子的颜色也是灰白的。他的衣服是用讲究的材料做的,可是有些地方已经旧了,而且稍有磨破的痕迹。他那一双发肿的腿有一条底下垫着一只枕头,上面捆着绷带。这时候没有人说话,除了这个人以外,所有的人都恭恭敬敬地低着头。这个表情严厉的病夫就是那威严的亨利八世。他说:

“我的爱德华王子,你好吗?你是不是故意调皮,和我开玩笑,叫我上当呢?我是你的父王,对你很疼爱、很体贴呀,你怎么这样淘气呢?”他开始说话的时候,脸上就显出温和的神色了。

汤姆有些迷乱,这些话的前半部分,他还极力镇定地倾听着,可是“你的父王”这几个字钻进他耳朵里的时候,他的脸色就发白了;他立刻就跪下来,好像腿上中了一枪似的。他举起双手,大声喊道:

“您就是国王陛下?那我的确是完蛋了!”

这话似乎使国王大吃一惊。他那双眼睛不由自主地望望这个的脸,又望望那个的脸,然后他就张皇失措地盯住他面前那个孩子。于是他以深感失望的声调说道:

“哎呀,我本来还以为谣言与事实不符,可是恐怕并非如此。”他深深地叹了一口气,又用温和的语调说,“孩子,到你父亲面前来吧,你有点儿毛病哩。”

汤姆被人扶着站起来,心虚而发抖地走到大英国王陛下跟前。国王用双手捧着那惊骇的面孔,关切而慈爱地注视了一会儿,好像希望在那上面发现一些理智恢复过来的迹象,然后他把汤姆那满头卷发的脑袋按在自己胸前,温柔地拍着。随即他又说:

“孩子,你认识你的父亲吗?不要叫我伤透老年的心呀,你说你认识我吧。你的确认识我,是不是?”

“认识,您是万民敬畏的国王陛下,上帝保佑您!”

“对呀,对呀——这很好——定定心,不用这么哆嗦,这里没有人来伤害你,这里没有一个人不爱你哩。你现在好些了,你的噩梦过去了——是不是?现在你也知道你自己是谁了吧——是不是?他们说你刚才把自己的名字弄错了,现在不会再弄错吧?”

“禀告国王陛下,我刚才说的是真话,请您开恩相信我。我是您的百姓当中最下贱的,生来是个穷叫花子,我是偶然遭了个意外的不幸才到这儿来的,不过这事情并不能归咎于我。我现在就死,未免太年轻了,您只要说一句话就能救我的命。啊,请您说吧,陛下!”

“死?不要说这种话吧,可爱的王子——你心里受了刺激,快安静安静吧——不会叫你死的!”

汤姆马上跪倒下来欢呼道:

“国王啊,您这样慈悲,上帝会给您好报的,祝您万寿无疆,恩泽四方!”然后他一下跳起来,满脸喜色地转向那两个侍从喊道,“你们听见了吧!不叫我死,这是国王说的!”除了大家都毕恭毕敬地鞠了一躬而外,没有人动弹,谁也没有说话。他有点儿心慌,迟疑了一会儿之后,胆怯地转向国王说:“现在我可以走了吧?”

“走?要是你想走,当然可以。可是你为什么不再待一会儿呢?你打算到什么地方去?”

汤姆把眼睛往下看,谦恭地回答说:

“恐怕是我弄错了,可是我的确以为我恢复自由了,所以就想回到那狗窝似的家里去;我是在那儿生来就受罪的,不过毕竟有我的母亲和两个姐姐住在那儿,所以那总算是我的家。这里的豪华富贵我可是不大习惯——啊,陛下,我求您让我走吧!”

国王沉思了一会儿,没有作声,他脸上露出越来越多的愁容和不安。随即他又说:

“或许他只在这一方面神经错乱,谈到别的问题,他的理智大概就没有什么毛病了吧。但愿上帝保佑,是这样才好!我们来试一试吧。”国王的声调里含着几分希望。

然后他用拉丁文问了汤姆一个问题,汤姆也说着蹩脚的拉丁文回答了他。国王很高兴,而且露出了这种神色。大臣和御医们也表示了满意。国王说:

“这与他所受的教育和才能还是配不上,可是足见他的心不过是有点儿病态,并不是受了什么致命伤。你觉得怎样,大夫?”

国王所问的御医深深地鞠了一躬,回答道:

“陛下的看法与小臣的愚见不谋而合,陛下,您推测得完全正确。”

国王得到这番鼓励,显得很欢喜,因为说这句话的人是个了不起的名医。于是他又兴高采烈地继续说道:

“大家注意,我们再来试他一下。”

他又用法文问了汤姆一个问题。汤姆因为那么多眼睛盯着他,觉得很窘,所以他站在那儿停了一会儿没有作声,然后才胆怯地说道:

“禀告陛下,我没有学过这种文字。”

国王在床上往后一倒。仆役们连忙去扶他,可是他挥手叫他们走开,说道:

“不用麻烦——我这不过是一阵坏血病引起的发晕。把我撑起来!对,这就行了。过来吧,孩子,好,把你那可怜的、混乱的脑袋靠在你父亲的胸前,安下心去吧。你不久就会好的,这不过是一阵暂时的神经错乱罢了。你不要害怕,你不久就会好的。”然后他转过脸去向着在场的人,他那温和的态度改变了,眼睛里射出很凶的闪电似的光来。他说:

“你们都听着!我这儿子是疯了,可是并不是永久发疯。这是念书太用功,还有点儿管制得太严的缘故。丢开他的书,不要他的老师!你们赶快遵办。让他痛痛快快地玩儿,想些好办法给他解闷,好叫他恢复健康。”他再把身子支起了一些,抖擞精神继续说道,“他疯了,可他毕竟是我的儿子,毕竟是英国的太子;无论疯与不疯,反正是要叫他登位!你们还要听清楚,并且要宣布:谁要是把王子有毛病的消息说出去,那就是危害全国的治安和秩序,准叫他上绞架!——拿点儿水给我喝——我心里发烧,这桩伤心事使我心力交瘁——喂,把杯子拿走——扶着我吧。哈,就这样好了。他疯了,是不是?即令他再疯一千倍,他也还是太子,我当国王的一定承认他。就在明天,我要让他按正式的古礼就太子位。赫德福伯爵,立刻传令下去吧。”

贵族当中有一位在御榻前面跪下来说:

“陛下知道英国世袭大典礼官现在已被褫夺了公权,关在塔里。您似乎不应该叫一个被褫夺了公权的人……”

“住口!不许拿他那可恨的名字脏了我的耳朵。这个人难道能永远活下去吗?我的旨意难道要受到阻碍吗?难道太子还要因为英国缺少一个犯叛国罪的典礼大臣给他上尊号,而耽误他就位的大事吗?不,这是万万不行的!通知我的国会,叫他们在明天日出之前把诺阜克处死,否则他们就要受到严厉的惩罚!”

赫德福伯爵说:

“国王的意志就是法律。”他说罢就站起来,回到他的原位。

老国王脸上的怒气渐渐消失了,他说:

“亲亲我吧,我的王子。喂……你有什么可害怕的?难道我不是你的慈爱的父亲吗?”

“伟大仁慈的国王啊,您对我太好了,我实在不配,这个我很懂得。可是——可是——我想起那将死的人就难受,我……”

“哈,你就是这样,你就是这样!我知道你的神经虽然受了刺激,你的心肠始终还是一样,因为你的天性向来是很宽厚的。可是这位公爵对你的荣誉是有妨碍的。我要另外找个不会玷污他的伟大职位的人来代替他。你尽管安心吧,我的王子。你千万不要把这桩事情放在心上,使你的脑筋受到搅扰吧。”

“可是国王陛下,这岂不是我催他快死?要不是为了我,他不是还可以活得很长久吗?”

“不要为他操心吧,我的王子。他是不值得你这么关心的。再亲亲我,就去开玩笑、寻开心吧;我的病使我很痛苦哩。我疲倦了,需要休息休息。你跟赫德福舅舅和你的侍从们去吧,等我身体好一点儿,你再来吧。”

汤姆被人从国王面前引着走开了,他心里感到沉重,因为他本来存着恢复自由的希望,现在国王最后的圣旨对他的这种希望却成了一个致命的打击。他又一次听见一阵阵低微的声音像苍蝇叫似的喊道:“王子,王子来了!”

他在两旁排列着的那些服饰耀眼的躬着腰的侍臣当中走过的时候,心情越来越沉重了;因为他现在看出了自己的确成了一个俘虏,也许永远会被囚禁在这个金漆的笼子里,做一个孤零零的、举目无亲的王子,除非上帝对他开恩,给他恢复自由。

无论他走到什么地方,似乎总看见那诺阜克大公爵被砍掉的头和他那副令人难忘的面孔在空中飘动,那双眼睛含着责难的神情盯着他。

从前他的梦想原是非常愉快的,而眼前的现实却是多么可怕啊!

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