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双语·老屋子 第十五章

所属教程:译林版·老屋子

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2022年06月10日

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Chapter 15

Fru Adelheid stood in her wraps at the window and looked out. The horses were stamping in the porch below; the footman stood by the carriage-door and waited.

They were going to the station to fetch Finn.

He had been abroad the whole summer.

This was the frst time he had been away alone and he had not enjoyed himself abroad. From Florence, Spain and Paris he had written to ask if he might not come home. But Cordt was resolved that he should remain abroad for the time agreed upon.

He wrote oftenest to Fru Adelheid…and stupidly and awkwardly, because he knew that his father would read the letters. Cordt noticed this, but said nothing. He hurried through the letters as though he were looking for something positive and put them down with a face as though he had not found it.

He always gave Fru Adelheid the letters he received, although she never asked for them.

Fru Adelheid looked impatiently at her watch. She sat down, closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against the pane.

She thought how empty the house had been during the summer.

Cordt had not said a word about the old room, but, from the day when Finn had moved up there, things had altered between him and her. Something had happened…something indefnite and nameless, but none the less fateful on that account.

And, while Finn was abroad, this had grown between them…without their doing anything to further or prevent it. Neither of them thought about it. Both led their own lives and drifted farther apart in their yearning for their quiet child. The day was long for them, their rooms were cold.

But inside her was a growing anxiety for Cordt, who became ever more silent and wore such a melancholy look in his eyes.

A door opened and she sprang up:

“We shall be late, Cordt.”

“Not at all,”he said, calmly.“You ordered the carriage too early.”

“Let us go, Cordt. We may just as well wait there as here.”

Cordt sat down with his hat on his knee and looked at her. She stood with bent head and buttoned her gloves.

“Sit down for a moment,”he said and pushed a chair towards her.

“Do you want to talk to me?”

“Sit down, Adelheid,”he said, impatiently.“Sit down for a moment.”

Fru Adelheid leant against the chair and remained standing.

“It is long since we talked together, Adelheid…many, many years. Do you know that?”

She shrugged her shoulders:

“Very likely,”she said and made her voice as frm as she could.“We have peace now, you see.”

Cordt nodded. He drummed with his fingers on his hat andlooked out of the window:

“Yes…yes, no doubt. We are old, Adelheid. As old as can be.”

“Is that what you wanted to say to me?”

“I am afraid for Finn,”said Cordt.“He will come home as pale as when he went away, a poor dreamer by the grace of God. To-morrow, he will be sitting up there and staring out at the life he dare not live.”

“Yes…why should he be up in the old room?”

“It was he who asked me,”said Cordt, calmly.“I could not deny him his inheritance. He has the right to know the ground he sprang from.”

“And what then? Do you think you can bring the dead days to life again?”

“No,”he said.“I don't think that. I don't want that.”

He was silent for a little. She did not take her eyes from his face. Then he said:

“Finn can build himself a new house, if he likes. Or he can refurnish his ancestral halls. And put in plate-glass windows and wide staircases and anything that suits him and his period. But he must know and be thankful that the walls are strong and the towers tall.”

Fru Adelheid pushed back the chair she was leaning against:

“There does not appear to be room for a mother in your arrangement,”she said.

Her voice trembled, her eyes were large and angry. But Cordt rose and looked as calm as before:

“You went out of it, Adelheid. You did not wish to be there.”

She made no reply. She understood that he did not mean toconsult her, to ask her for her help…did not even want it.

“Adelheid…now that Finn is coming…”

“Yes?…”

“I am afraid for him, Adelheid. And I would ask you to be on your guard and do him no harm. I believe that sometimes you smother his poor, dejected spirit. The peace which you have gained may be good in itself and good for you…but he is young, you must remember. He is only at the start of life, he has no need for peace and resignation. What is a boon to you is death to him, perhaps…”

She took a step forward and raised her face close up to his:

“Now it has come to this, Cordt, that you think I am your enemy for Finn's sake.”

“You may become so,”he said.

“You will drive me to it, Cordt.”

He took her hand and held it tight when she tried to draw it away:

“No,”he said.“No, Adelheid. I only want to warn you.”

第十五章

阿德尔海德裹着披肩站在窗户旁望向外面。马在下面的门廊处跺着脚,车夫站在马车门旁边等候着。

他们准备去车站接芬。

整个夏天,芬都在国外。

这是芬第一次独自离家,他并不喜欢独自在外的日子。从佛罗伦萨,西班牙,到巴黎,他一直都在写信问可不可以回家。但科特决意芬应该在国外待够原定的时间。

芬经常写信给阿德尔海德,语气尴尬无比,因为他知道父亲会首先读到这些信。科特注意到了这一点,但什么都没说。他快速浏览信件,似乎想要找到一些积极向上的东西,但当他放下信件时,脸上总是露出一副失望的表情。

科特会把他收到的信递给阿德尔海德,虽然阿德尔海德从未要求过。

阿德尔海德急躁地看了看自己的手表,然后坐了下来,闭上眼睛,头抵着窗格。

她心里想,整个夏天家里是多么空虚无聊。

关于老屋子,科特没有说过一言半语,但从芬搬到老屋子那一刻起,他俩之间的关系发生了改变。一些不确定的、无法言说的事情发生了,但这些事情也是注定要发生的。

当芬在国外时,这些微妙之处在他们之间不断扩大……而两人也没有做任何事情加以阻止或助长。两人都过着各自的生活,在各自对芬的期盼中渐行渐远。白天对于他们来讲显得尤为漫长,他们的房间非常冰冷。

然而,阿德尔海德内心里对科特的焦虑与日俱增,科特变得更加沉默,眼神中充满忧伤。

门开了,她猛站起来,“我们要迟到了,科特。”

“完全不会,”科特平静地说,“你叫的马车来得太早了。”

“我们走吧,科特。可以去了那里等。”

科特坐下来,帽子放在膝盖上,看着阿德尔海德。阿德尔海德低头站在那里,扣着手套的纽扣。

“坐下等一会儿。”科特说道,推了推旁边的椅子,示意阿德尔海德坐下。

“你想跟我聊天?”

“坐下,阿德尔海德,”科特不耐烦地讲道,“等一会儿。”

阿德尔海德倚着椅子仍旧站着。

“我们很久都没有聊天了,阿德尔海德,很多很多年了。你知道吗?”

阿德尔海德耸了耸肩。

“是的,”她说道,声音坚定无比,“但我们现在能平静相处。”

科特点点头,指头不断地拍打帽子,看向窗外,“是的,是的,毫无疑问。我们老了,阿德尔海德。老得不行了。”

“这就是你想对我说的吗?”

“我担心芬,”科特说,“他回家时跟当初他离开时不会有什么变化,一样地脸色苍白,一个可怜的上帝缔造的幻想家。明天,他又会坐在那里,看着外面的生活而自己却不敢参与其中。”

“是的,他为什么会去老屋子里?”

“是他问的我,”科特平静地说,“我不能拒绝本来就属于他的遗产。他有权力了解他出生的地方。”

“那然后呢?你觉得你能够追回已流逝的时光吗?”

“不,”科特说,“我不那么认为。我也不想那样做。”

科特沉默了一会儿。阿德尔海德没有把眼神从科特身上挪开。然后科特说道:

“如果他喜欢,芬可以给自己盖一座新房子。或者,他可以重新装饰他老祖宗的房子,装上平板玻璃窗和宽大的楼梯,以及任何适合他,还有他的时代的东西。但他得知道,墙壁很坚固,塔楼很高耸,他得为此而感恩。”

阿德尔海德把她靠着的椅子往后推了推,说道:

“在你的安排里,似乎没有给母亲留下任何空间。”

她的声音颤抖不已,怒目圆睁。科特站了起来,像以往一样平静地说道:

“是你离开了,阿德尔海德。你不希望在那里生活。”

阿德尔海德没有回答。她知道,科特并没有要问她意见的意思,也未曾想要她帮忙。

“阿德尔海德,现在,芬快回来了。”

“然后呢?”

“我很担心他,阿德尔海德。我请你自己注意自己的言行,不要给他带来伤害。我觉得有的时候,你扑灭了他原本就可怜的精神气。你所得到的平静,可能这本身是件好事,对你的作用也不错,但他还年轻,你得记住这一点。他才刚刚开始他的人生,他不需要平静或顺从。对你是恩赐的事物对他可能意味着死亡。”

阿德尔海德向科特走了一步,抬起头说道:

“已经到了这样的地步,科特,为了芬,你把我当作敌人。”

“可能确实会这样。”科特说。

“你会把我逼成这样,科特。”

科特抓起阿德尔海德的手,紧紧地抓着不让她抽走。

“不,不,阿德尔海德。我仅仅是想警告你。”

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