双语·《刀锋》 第一章 七

CHAPTER ONE 7
第一章 七

I had been put up for the length of my stay at a club which possessed a good library, and next morning I went there to look at one or two of the university magazines that for the person who does not subscribe to them have always been rather hard to come by. It was early and there was only one other person there.He was seated in a big leather chair absorbed in a book.I was surprised to see it was Larry.He was the last person I should have expected to find in such a place.He looked up as I passed, recognized me and made as if to get up.
在芝加哥，为了消磨时光，我加入了一个俱乐部。俱乐部里有个挺不错的阅览室。赴宴的次日上午，我到阅览室想找一两本大学校刊看看——这种校刊一般只针对订阅者，平时难得一见。时间还早，阅览室里只有一个人，坐在大皮椅子上正出神地看书。我意外地发现那人竟是拉里。怎么也想不到会在这样的地方跟他不期而遇。我走近时，他抬起头来，认出是我，像是要站起来问候。

“Don't move，”I said, and then almost automatically：“What are you reading?”
“坐着别动。”我说了一声，随后脱口问道，“你在看什么？”

“A book，”he said, with a smile, but a smile so engaging that the rebuff of his answer was in no way offensive.
“一本书。”他边说边粲然一笑——那笑容十分迷人，令他生硬的回答就完全不显得无礼了。

He closed it and looking at me with his peculiarly opaque eyes held it so that I couldn't see the title.
他把书合上，让我看不见书名，用他那简直无任何光泽的眼睛望着我。

“Did you have a good time last night?”I asked.
“你昨晚玩得好吗？”我问。

“Wonderful. Didn't get home till five.”
“痛快极了，凌晨五点钟才回的家。”

“It's very strenuous of you to be here so bright and early.”
“你这么早来这儿读书，真够刻苦的了。”

“I come here a good deal. Generally I have the place to myself at this time.”
“我是这里的常客。平时的这个时候，屋子里只有我一个人。”

“I won't disturb you.”
“我就不打搅你了。”

“You're not disturbing me，”he said, smiling again, and now it occurred to me that he had a smile of great sweetness. It was not a brilliant, flashing smile, it was a smile that lit his face as with an inner light.He was sitting in an alcove made by jutting out shelves and there was a chair next to him.He put his hand on the arm.“Won't you sit down for a minute?”
“你没有打搅我。”他说着又是粲然一笑。这一笑让我觉得魅力百生，绝非那种耀眼的、电光一闪的微笑，而是内心光明的展现，令他满面生辉。他坐的地方是用书架围成的一个角落，旁边还有一把椅子。他把手放在那把椅子的扶手上说：“你坐一会儿好吗？”

“All right.”
“好的。”

He handed me the book he was holding.
他把手里拿的书递给了我。

“That's what I was reading.”
“我看的是这书。”

I looked at it and saw it was William James's Principles of Psychology. It is, of course, a standard work and important in the history of the science with which it deals；it is moreover exceedingly readable；but it is not the sort of book I should have expected to see in the hands of a very young man, an aviator, who had been dancing till five in the morning.
我看了看书名，原来是威廉·詹姆斯写的《心理学原理》。这当然是部名著，在心理学史上占有重要位置，写得深入浅出、通俗易懂。不过，一个年轻人，一个飞行员，一个跳舞跳到凌晨五点钟的人，竟然在这儿捧读这样的一本书，就叫人意想不到了。

“Why are you reading this?”I asked.
“为什么看这书？”我问。

“I'm very ignorant.”
“还不是因为学识太浅薄了呗。”

“You're also very young，”I smiled.
“你还十分年轻么。”我笑着说。

He did not speak for so long a time that I began to find the silence awkward and I was on the point of getting up and looking for the magazines I had come to find. But I had a feeling that he wanted to say something.He looked into vacancy, his face grave and intent, and seemed to meditate.I waited.I was curious to know what it was all about.When he began to speak it was as though he were continuing the conversation without awareness of that long silence.
接下来，他好一会儿没有说话，我觉得局面有些尴尬，正想起身离开去找自己要读的校刊，却有一种感觉——他有话要说。只见他目光空洞地望着前方，表情庄重、专注，像是在沉思。我在等待他开口，满腹的好奇，想知道他会说些什么。他重新开始说话时，显得很连贯，仿佛中间没有出现过长时间的沉默似的。

“When I came back from France they all wanted me to go to college. I couldn't.After what I'd been through I felt I couldn't go back to school.I learnt nothing at my prep school anyway.I felt I couldn't enter into a fresh-man's life.They wouldn’t have liked me.I didn’t want to act a part I didn’t feel.And I didn’t think the instructors would teach me the sort of things I wanted to know.”
“我从法国回来时，人人都劝我进大学深造。这我是做不到的。有了那样的人生经历，我觉得自己无法再重返校园了。在预科学校时我就没学什么东西，现在叫我上大一的课程，便是赶着鸭子上架，早晚是讨人嫌。我也不愿勉强自己做自己不想做的事。而且我不相信那些教师能教给我自己所需要的知识。”

“Of course I know this is no business of mine，”I answered，“but I'm not convinced you were right. I think I understand what you mean and I can see that, after being in the war for two years, it would have been rather a nuisance to become the sort of glorified schoolboy an undergraduate is during his first and second years.I can't believe they wouldn't have liked you.I don't know much about American universities, but I don't believe American undergraduates are very different from English ones, perhaps a little more boisterous and a little more inclined to horseplay, but on the whole very decent, sensible boys, and I take it that if you don’t want to lead their lives they’re quite willing, if you exercise a little tact, to let you lead yours.I never went to Cambridge as my brothers did.I had the chance, but I refused it.I wanted to get out into the world.I’ve always regretted it.I think it would have saved me a lot of mistakes.You learn more quickly under the guidance of experienced teachers.You waste a lot of time going down blind alleys if you have no one to lead you.”
“当然，我知道此事与我不相干，”我开口说道，“但我觉得你的想法是不对的。你的意思我想自己是理解的，也知道你打了两年的仗，现在让一个荣誉加身的中学生进大学，当一名大一大二的学生，滋味是很不好受的。至于你说自己会讨人嫌，我就不相信了。虽然我对美国的大学了解不深，但我认为美国的大学生和英国的并没有多大区别，也许只是稍微更顽皮一些，更喜欢热闹一些。总体而言，他们是些正派、懂事的孩子。我敢说，假如你不想过他们那种生活，只要稍微讲究一点策略，他们不会难为你的。我的哥哥弟弟都读过剑桥，我却没有。有过一个机会，可是我放弃了，而是一个心眼儿要到社会上闯荡。对此我一直都很后悔。当初要是上了大学，恐怕能少栽许多跟头。在有经验的大学老师指导下，学习上进步是很快的。缺乏引路人，就会糟蹋掉许多时间，盲人瞎马般乱撞。”

“You may be right. I don't mind if I make mistakes.It may be that in one of the blind alleys I may find something to my purpose.”
“也许你说得在理。但栽跟头我是不在乎的。盲人瞎马般乱撞，或许还能有所发现，找到自己的人生目标呢。”

“What is your purpose?”
“你的人生目标是什么？”

He hesitated a moment.
他迟疑了一下，然后说道：

“That's just it. I don't quite know it yet.”
“人生目标嘛，我也说不清道不明。”

I was silent, for there didn't seem to be anything to say in answer to that. I, who from a very early age have always had before me a clear and definite purpose, was inclined to feel impatient, but I chid myself；I had what I can only call an intuition that there was in the soul of that boy some confused striving, whether of half-thought-out ideas or of dimly felt emotions I could not tell, which filled him with a restlessness that urged him he did not know whither.He strangely excited my sympathy.I had never before heard him speak much and it was only now that I became conscious of the melodiousness of his voice.It was very persuasive.It was like balm.When I considered that, his engaging smile, and the expressiveness of his very black eyes I could well understand that Isabel was in love with him.There was indeed something very lovable about him.He turned his head and looked at me without embarrassment, but with an expression in his eyes that was at once scrutinizing and amused.
我一时无语。对于这样的回答，你想评论似乎也是说不出什么来的。我本人少年时就有明确的人生目标，对缺乏志向的人当然会感到不耐烦的。不过，我喝止住了自己。我有个感觉，只能说是直觉：这孩子的魂魄里有一种杂乱的冲动，不知那是半明半昧的观念，还是一种隐隐约约的情绪，使得他永无宁日，刺激着他盲目地朝前冲。说来也怪，正是这样的一种东西令我顿时萌发了同情之心。此前听他说话只是只言片语，此刻始发现他的声音十分悦耳，如香膏般叫人陶醉。想想这些，再看看他那迷人的微笑和富于表情的黑眼珠，也就不难理解伊莎贝尔为什么那般爱他了。他身上的确有惹人怜爱的地方。他转过脸望着我，神态坦率，但眼睛里却有一种表情——既是挑剔，又有点玩世不恭。

“Am I right in thinking that after we all went off to dance last night you talked about me?”
“昨天晚上我们去跳舞，我想你们在背后说我了吧？”

“Part of the time.”
“不错，是提到了你。”

“I thought that was why Uncle Bob had been pressed to come to dinner. He hates going out.”
“硬把鲍勃叔叔请来，恐怕就是因为这个理由了。他原本是很讨厌出门的。”

“It appears that you've got the offer of a very good job.”
“好像有人给你找了一个很好的工作。”

“A wonderful job.”
“工作的确是很棒。”

“Are you going to take it?”
“你打算干吗？”

“I don't think so.”
“恐难从命。”

“Why not?”
“为什么？”

“I don't want to.”
“他们有心，我无意。”

I was butting into an affair that was no concern of mine, but I had a notion that just because I was a stranger from a foreign country Larry was not disinclined to talk to me about it.
我真是咸吃萝卜淡操心。不过，我有一种感觉，正是因为我来自海外，与此事无关，他才无排斥之心，愿意跟我交流交流。

“Well, you know when people are no good at anything else they become writers，”I said, with a chuckle.
“哦，你知道，一个人什么都做不了时，他就当作家。”我说完，扑哧笑了一声。

“I have no talent.”
“我可没有当作家的天赋。”

“Then what do you want to do?”
“那你打算干什么呢？”

He gave me his radiant, fascinating smile.
他绽出一个灿烂、迷人的微笑。

“Loaf，”he said.
“逛大街。”他说。

I had to laugh.
我听了不由哈哈大笑。

“I shouldn't have thought Chicago the best place in the world to do that in，”I said.“Anyhow, I'll leave you to your reading. I want to have a look at the Yale Quarterly.”
“芝加哥恐怕不是个逛大街的好地方。”我说，“我就不打搅了。你看你的书吧，我去查阅《耶鲁季刊》。”

I got up. When I left the library Larry was still absorbed in William James's book.I lunched by myself at the club and since it was quiet in the library went back there to smoke my cigar and idle an hour or two away, reading and writing letters.I was surprised to see Larry still immersed in his book.He looked as if he hadn't moved since I left him.He was still there when about four I went away.I was struck by his evident power of concentration.He had neither noticed me go nor come.I had various things to do during the afternoon and did not go back to the Blackstone till it was time to change for the dinner party I was going to.On my way I was seized with an impulse of curiosity.I dropped into the club once more and went into the library.There were quite a number of people there then, reading the papers and what not.Larry was still sitting in the same chair, intent on the same book.Odd！
我起身走开了。等到我离开阅览室时，拉里还在专心致志地看威廉·詹姆斯的那本书。我独自在俱乐部里用了午餐，因为阅览室里安静，又回到那里去抽雪茄，在那儿消磨了一两个小时，看看书、写写信什么的。叫我感到诧异的是，拉里仍在聚精会神地看书，好像自打我走开后他一直就没有挪过窝。四点钟左右我走出阅览室，他还在老地方。显然，他有着很强的定力，叫我感到很是惊讶。我或来或走，他全然不加留意。下午，我因琐事缠身，直到应当换衣服去赴晚宴时，才回黑石旅馆。回旅馆的路上，我突发好奇之心，于是又去了一趟俱乐部，拐进了阅览室。此时，阅览室里已经有不少人在看报读书什么的。拉里竟然还坐在那张椅子上，还在全神贯注地看那本书！这不能不叫人称奇！