双语·《刀锋》 第三章 二
CHAPTER THREE 2
第三章 二
To give the reader a moment's rest I am starting here upon a new section, but I am doing it only for his convenience；the conversation was uninterrupted. I may take this opportunity to say that Larry spoke without haste, often choosing his words with care, and though of course I do not pretend to report them exactly, I have tried to reproduce not only the matter, but the manner of his discourse.His voice, rich in tone, had a musical quality that was grateful to the ear；and as he talked without gesticulation of any kind, puffing away at his pipe and stopping now and again to relight it, he looked you in the face with a pleasant, often whimsical expression in his dark eyes.
此处我另起一节，好让读者有片刻喘气的机会。这样做，完全是为了读者考虑。拉里的叙述并没有因此而中止。趁此机会，我想说，他叙述时不慌不忙，斟词酌句的。虽然不敢说我能把他的话原封不动再现给诸位，但我做出了努力，不仅努力复述出事情的经过，还努力再现他说话的方式。他的声音圆润，犹如天籁之音，十分悦耳。他说着，一口一口抽着烟斗，时不时会停下来把熄灭了的烟斗再点着，只是说，不加任何手势。他直直望着我，乌黑的眼睛里有一种令人愉快的，并且让人捉摸不透的表情。
“Then the spring came, late in that flat, dismal part of the country, cold and rainy still；but sometimes a fine warm day made it hard to leave the world above ground and go down hundreds of feet in a rickety elevator, crowded with miners in their grimy overalls, into the bowels of the earth. It was spring all right, but it seemed to come shyly in that grim and sordid landscape as though unsure of a welcome.It was like a flower, a daffodil or a lily, growing in a pot on the window-sill of a slum dwelling and you wondered what it did there.One Sunday morning we were lying in bed, we always slept late on Sunday morning, and I was reading, when Kosti said to me out of a blue sky：“‘I'm getting out of here. D'you want to come with me?'
后来，春天姗姗而至。在那片平坦而荒凉的乡间，春天来得晚，天气依然寒冷，细雨绵绵。不过，有时会出现一个晴暖天，惹得矿工们都不愿离开地面，坐着摇摇晃晃的电梯（电梯里会挤满身穿肮脏工作服的矿工），钻到数百英尺以下的地球深处去了。春天已经露面，但羞羞答答不敢跨入这片阴冷、肮脏的矿区，好像害怕不受欢迎似的。它宛若一朵鲜花（水仙或百合），开在贫民区住房窗台上的一个花盆里，叫你弄不懂它在那儿干什么。星期天的早晨，我们总是赖在床上不起来。在这样的一个早晨，我正躺在床上看书，考斯迪望着外面的蓝天，对我说道：‘我要离开这儿了。你愿意跟我一起走吗？’
“I knew a lot of the Poles went back to Poland in the summer to get the harvest in, but it was early for that, and besides, Kosti couldn't go back to Poland.
我知道有许多波兰人一到夏天就回他们国家割麦子，而现在还不到收割的季节。再说，考斯迪现在是有国不能回。
“‘Where are you going?'I asked.
‘你要到哪儿去？’我问道。
“‘Tramping. Across Belgium and into Germany and down the Rhine.We could get work on a farm that would see us through the summer.'
‘浪迹天涯——穿过比利时到德国，再沿莱茵河朝前走。夏天，就到农场去打打零工。’
“It didn't take a minute to make up my mind. “‘It sounds fine，'I said.
我听后，当下便做出了决定，于是说道：‘这主意挺不错的。’
“Next day we told the foreman we were through. I found a fellow who was willing to take my grip in exchange for a rucksack.I gave the clothes I didn't want or couldn't carry on my back to the younger of Madame Leclerc's sons who was about my size.Kosti left a bag, packed what he wanted in his rucksack and the day after, as soon as the old girl had given us our coffee, we started off.
次日，我们告诉工头，说我们不干了。我找到一个人愿意拿旅行背包换我的提包。我把不想要的，或者说不便路上带的衣服，全都给了勒克莱尔太太的小儿子——他跟我的身材差不多。到了第二天，老太婆供我们喝了咖啡，我们就出发了。
“We weren't in any hurry as we knew we couldn't get taken on at a farm at least until the hay was ready to cut, and so we dawdled along through France and Belgium by way of Namur and Liège and got into Germany through Aachen.We didn’t do more than ten or twelve miles a day.When we liked the look of a village we stopped there.There was always some kind of an inn where we could get beds and an alehouse where we could get something to eat and beer to drink.On the whole we had fine weather.It was grand to be out in the open air after all those months in the mine.I don’t think I’d ever realized before how good a green meadow is to look at and how lovely a tree is when the leaves aren’t out yet, but the branches are veiled in a faint green mist.Kosti started to teach me German and I believe he spoke it as well as he spoke French.As we trudged along he would tell me the German for the various objects we passed, a cow, a horse, a man and so on, and then repeat simple German sentences.It made the time pass and by the time we got into Germany I could at least ask for the things I wanted.
一路上我们不慌不忙，因为我们知道起码得等到麦收季节才能在农场找到活干。我们就这样慢慢悠悠从那慕尔和列日穿过法国及比利时，再经由亚琛进入德国境内。我们每天顶多走十英里或十二英里路，遇见中意的村子便歇脚。车到山前必有路——总能找到住宿的客栈和吃肉喝酒的酒馆。总体而言，天气还是不错的。在矿上熬煎了那么多的日月，现在来到开阔的野外，感觉真好。以前真是没有想到绿茵地竟是那么美不胜收；树木尚未长出树叶，而树枝上蒙了一层薄雾般的新绿，竟会那么赏心悦目。后来，考斯迪开始教我学习德语——他的德语和法语讲得一样棒。走在路上，遇见形形色色的景物（或牛或马，或人及其他），他都会把相应的德语告诉我，还会叫我重复简单的德语句子。时间就这样悄然逝去。进入德国境内时，我至少可以用德语问路了。
“Cologne was a bit out of our way, but Kosti insisted on going there, on account of the Eleven Thousand Virgins, he said, and when we got there he went on a bat. I didn't see him for three days and when he turned up at the room we'd taken in a sort of workmen's rooming-house he was very surly.He'd got in a fight and he had a black eye and a cut on his lip.He wasn't a pretty object, I can tell you.He went to bed for twenty-four hours, and then we started to walk down the valley of the Rhine towards Darmstadt, where he said the country was good and we stood the best chance of getting work.
科隆稍微偏离了一点我们的路线，可是考斯迪硬要到那儿去一趟，说是为了那一万一千名殉道修女。等我们到了科隆时，他便恣意酗酒，一连三天不见人影。我们下榻的地方有点像工人宿舍。待他回到住处，一脸的愠色。原来，他跟人打了一架，眼睛都被打青了，嘴唇有一道血口子，可以说样子很惨。他倒头睡了两天两夜。然后，我们沿着莱茵河的河谷向达姆施塔特进发。他说那儿风光旖旎，而且我们极有可能找到工作。
“I never enjoyed anything more. The fine weather held and we wandered through towns and villages.When there were sights to see we stopped off and looked at them.We put up where we could and once or twice we slept in a loft on the hay.We ate at wayside inns, and when we got in the wine country we turned from beer to wine.We made friends with the people in the taverns we drank in.Kosti had a sort of rough joviality that inspired them with confidence and he'd play skat with them, that's a German card game, and skin them with such bluff good humour, with the earthy jokes they appreciated, that they hardly minded losing their pfennigs to him.I practised my German on them.I'd bought a little English-German conversation grammar at Cologne and I was getting on pretty well.And then at night, when he'd got a couple of litres of white wine inside him, Kosti would talk in a morbid way of the flight from the Alone to the Alone, of the Dark Night of the Soul and of the final ecstasy in which the creature becomes one with the Beloved.But when in the early morning, as we walked through the smiling country, with the dew still on the grass, I tried to get him to tell me more, he grew so angry that he could have hit me.
我从来都没有如此开心过。天气持续晴好。我们走过一个个小镇、一座座村庄。遇见美丽的景色，我们就驻足欣赏。找见住宿的地方，我们便停下来过夜，有一两次睡在稻草堆上。路边有客栈，我们就进去饱餐一顿。进入盛产葡萄酒的地区时，我们就不喝啤酒，以葡萄酒取而代之了。在酒馆里，我们结交了一些朋友。考斯迪粗犷而快活，赢得了酒友们的信任，于是大家一起打司卡特（一种德国的牌戏）。他谈笑风生，一团和气，暗中却抽老千。他满嘴粗俗的玩笑，很得酒友们的喜欢，所以也就不太在意输钱给他了。我则借机练习说德语。在科隆的时候，我买了一本袖珍英德会话手册，学习德语取得了很大的进步。一到晚上，两大盅白葡萄酒落肚，考斯迪便以一种病态的口吻大谈什么从孤独逃离，最后还是孤独，谈灵魂的暗夜，谈生灵与造物主合为一体的极乐境界。可是次日清早，走在明媚的乡野间，青草上露水滴滴，我想让他继续讲下去的时候，他却勃然大怒，差点没动手打我。
“‘Shut up, you fool，'he said.‘What do you want with all that stuff and nonsense?Come, let's get on with our German.'
‘住口，笨蛋！’他说道，‘乱七八糟的东西，讲那些有什么意思！好啦，还是学德语顶用。’
“You can't argue with a man who's got a fist like a steam hammer and wouldn't think twice about using it. I'd seen him in a rage.I knew he was capable of laying me out cold and leaving me in a ditch and I wouldn't have put it past him to empty my pockets while I was out.I couldn’t make head or tail of him.When wine had loosened his tongue and he spoke of the Ineffable, he shed the rough obscene language that he ordinarily used, like the grimy overalls he wore in the mine, and he was well-spoken and even eloquent.I couldn’t believe he wasn’t sincere.I don’t know how it occurred to me, but I got the idea somehow that he’d taken on that hard, brutal labour of the mine to mortify his flesh.I thought he hated that great, uncouth body of his and wanted to torture it, and that his cheating and his bitterness and his cruelty were the revolt of his will against-oh, I don’t know what you’d call it-against a deep-rooted instinct of holiness, against a desire for God that terrified and yet obsessed him.
你是不能跟他犟嘴的——他那汽锤一般的拳头可不是吃素的，说打你就会打你。他发火的样子我可是领教过。他可以一拳把我打昏，将我丢在臭水沟里。趁着我昏迷不醒，他会掏光我的口袋。他这个人真是叫人捉摸不透。当葡萄酒打开他的话匣子，他谈到至高无上的主宰时，他会避开平时讲的那些粗野下流话，就像脱掉下井穿的肮脏的工作服一样，换上一种很文雅的语言，滔滔不绝，口若悬河。要说他缺乏虔诚之意，我是不相信的。可不知怎么我突发奇想，认为他下井干那种艰辛、非人的活儿，只是想折磨自己的肉体。他仿佛憎恨自己那个丑陋、庞大的身躯，渴望叫它受点罪。他抽老千也罢，发脾气也罢，抑或行为残暴，都是他的意志（噢，不知怎么命名这种概念才好）对根深蒂固的神之本性的反抗，是对自己内心欲望的反抗——他渴望见到既让自己害怕又让自己迷茫的上帝。
“We'd taken our time, the spring was pretty well over and the trees were in full leaf. The grapes in the vineyards were beginning to fill out.We kept to the dirt roads as much as we could and they were getting dusty.We were in the neighbourhood of Darmstadt, and Kosti said we'd better start looking for a job.Our money was getting short.I had half a dozen travellers'cheques in my pocket, but I'd made up my mind not to use them if I could possibly help it.When we saw a farmhouse that looked promising we stopped and asked if they wanted a couple of hands, I dare say we didn't look very inviting.We were dusty and sweaty and dirty.Kosti looked a terrible ruffian and I don’t suppose I looked much better either.We were turned down time after time.At one place the farmer said he’d take Kosti but couldn’t do with me and Kosti said we were buddies and wouldn’t separate.I told him to go ahead, but he wouldn’t.I was surprised.I knew Kosti had taken a fancy to me, though I couldn’t imagine why, as I didn’t begin to be the kind of guy he had any use for, but I would never have thought he liked me well enough to refuse a job on my account.I felt rather conscience-stricken as we walked on, because I didn’t really like him, in fact I found him rather repulsive, but when I tried to say something to show I was pleased with what he’d done, he bit my head off.
我们徐徐而行。已到了春末，树上长满了绿叶。葡萄园里的果实越来越丰满。我们一直走的都是土路，路上尘土飞扬。进入达姆施塔特一带时，考斯迪建议找个活儿干，因为身上带的钱都快花光了。我口袋里倒还有六七张旅行支票，但我拿定主意不到万不得已时不取出来使用。后来，我们看见一所农舍样子挺气派，便停下来问他们要不要帮手。当时，敢说我们看上去不太讨人喜欢——风尘仆仆，汗和尘土把我们都弄成了大花脸。考斯迪样子像个土匪，我的样子恐怕也强不到哪儿去。于是，我们屡屡吃闭门羹。有一户农家愿意雇用考斯迪，却不愿用我。考斯迪说我们是好朋友，是不能分开的。我叫他留下干，可他硬是不肯。这叫我感到有点意外。他喜欢我，我是清楚的，其中的原因我想象不来，因为我并不是对他有用处的那种人。可是，至于说因为喜欢我，为了我而放弃一个工作，就是我始料未及的了。离开那户农家后，我感到良心大受谴责，因为实际上我并不喜欢他，甚至很讨厌他。但是，当我想要说几句话，表示我对他这样做感到高兴时，他把我臭骂了一顿。
“But at last our luck turned. We'd just gone through a village in a hollow and we came to a rambling farmhouse that didn't look so bad.We knocked at the door and a woman opened it.We offered ourselves as usual.We said we didn't want any wages, but were willing to work for our board and lodging, and to my surprise instead of slamming the door in our face, she told us to wait.She called to someone inside the house and presently a man came out.He had a good stare at us and asked us where we came from.He asked to see our papers.He gave me another stare when he saw I was American.He didn't seem to like it very much, but anyhow he asked us to come in and have a glass of wine.He took us into the kitchen and we sat down.The woman brought a flagon and some glasses.He told us that his hired man had been gored by a bull and was in hospital and wouldn't be fit for anything till after the harvest was in.With so many men killed, and others going into the factories that were springing up along the Rhine, it was the devil’s own job to get labour.We knew that and had been counting on it.Well, to make a long story short he said he’d take us.There was plenty of room in the house, but I suppose he didn’t fancy having us there；anyway he told us there were two beds in the hayloft and that was where we were to sleep.
最后，我们终于时来运转了。话说我们刚刚走出一个山谷里的村庄，便瞧见了一所独门独户的农舍，外表看上去还不错。敲了敲门，开门的是个女人。我们照例介绍了来意，声称不要工钱，只管吃住就行了。想不到的是，她没有当着我们的面砰的一声把门关上，而是叫我们稍候。她冲屋里叫人，很快有一个男子走了出来。此人把我们细细打量一番，问我们从何处来，叫我们出示证件。他发现我是个美国人，便把我多看了一眼，似乎不太乐意用我。不过，他还是请我们进屋先喝杯酒再说。他领我们进了厨房，大家一起坐下。那女人端来一壶酒和几个杯子。男子告诉我们，说他家的雇工被公牛抵伤了，现在医院里，要等到庄稼收割之后才能康复。当地人有许多都战死于疆场，活着的却进了那些在莱茵河畔拔地而起的工厂里做工，于是便使得找个雇工十分艰难。这种情况我们是知道的，并且对此加以利用。长话短说，他最终决定雇用我们。他家的房间倒是不少，但他可能不愿让我们住在他家，于是告诉我们说干草棚里有两张床，我们可以宿在那里。
“The work wasn't hard. There were the cows to look after and the hogs；the machinery was in a bad way, and we had to do something about that；but I had some leisure.I loved the sweet-smelling meadows and in the evenings I used to wander about and dream.It was a good life.
农场上的活不重，无非就是放牛牧猪什么的。机械坏了，就帮着修修。空闲时间还是有的。我喜欢那些芳香的草地，傍晚时分经常四处游荡，做一做空梦。那是一种十分惬意的生活。
“The household consisted of old Becker, his wife, his widowed daughter-in-law and her children. Becker was a heavy, grey-haired man in his late forties；he'd been through the war and still limped from a wound in the leg.It hurt him a lot and he drank to kill the pain.He was generally high by the time he got to bed.Kosti got on with him fine and they used to go down to the inn together after supper to play skat and swill wine.Frau Becker had been a hired girl.They'd got her out of an orphanage and Becker had married her soon after his wife's death.She was a good many years younger than he was, rather handsome in a way, full-blown, with red cheeks and fair hair and a hungry sensual look.It didn't take Kosti long to come to the conclusion that there was something doing there.I told him not to be a fool.Wehad a good job and we didn't want to lose it.He only jeered at me；he said Becker wasn’t satisfying her and she was asking for it.I knew it was useless to appeal to his sense of decency, but I told him to be careful；it might be that Becker wouldn’t see what he was after, but there was his daughter-in-law, and she wasn’t missing anything.
这户人家的家庭成员有贝克尔老夫妇，以及他们那带着几个孩子守寡的儿媳。贝克尔年近五旬，五大三粗，头发花白。他打过仗，腿上负过伤，至今走路仍一瘸一拐的。腿伤叫他疼痛难忍，只好以酒消痛，常在睡觉前喝得酩酊大醉。考斯迪和他相处得很好，晚饭后时常一起去酒馆，打打司卡特牌戏，灌灌黄汤。贝克尔太太原来是家里的女佣，是他们从孤儿院里领来的，贝克尔在妻子死后不久便续娶了她。她比贝克尔小好多岁，也还有点姿色，丰胸肥臀，红红的脸蛋，一头金发，妖妖娆娆的。考斯迪不久便断言那女人是有些风情的。我警告他不要做傻事，说我们有份好工作，不能因此而丢掉。他仅仅只是嘲笑了我几句，说贝克尔满足不了她，是她自己想来一手的。我情知劝他守规矩也是白费口舌，但我还是告诫他三思而后行。贝克尔也许看不出他心怀鬼胎，可是他的儿媳却是个明眼人，任什么都逃不过她的眼睛。
“Ellie, that was her name, was a thickset, big young woman, well under thirty, with black eyes and black hair, a sallow square face and a sullen look. She still wore mourning for her husband killed at Verdun.She was very devout and on Sunday mornings trudged down to the village to early Mass and again in the afternoon to vespers.She had three children, one of whom had been born after her husband's death, and she never spoke at meals except to scold them.She did little work on the farm, but spent most of her time looking after the kids, and in the evening sat by herself in the sitting-room, with the door open so that she could hear if one of them was crying, and read novels.The two women hated one another.Ellie despised Frau Becker because she was a foundling and had been a servant, and bitterly resented her being the mistress of the house and in a position to give orders.
他的儿媳名叫埃莉，是个又高又壮的少妇，年龄不足三十岁，黑眼睛，黑头发，一张蜡黄的方脸老是郁郁不乐的。丈夫阵亡于凡尔登战役，她仍在服丧期。她是个虔诚的教徒，每逢星期天早晨，都要到村子里去做早弥撒，下午又会跑去做晚祷。她有三个孩子，其中一个是遗腹子，是丈夫死后出生的。一家人吃饭时，她除了骂孩子，否则从不开口说话。她很少下地干农活，大部分时间都用来看孩子。一到晚上，她就独自一人坐在客厅里看小说，让客厅的门敞开着，便于听到孩子的哭声。两个女人势同水火。埃莉瞧不起贝克尔太太，嫌她是个弃儿，做过用人。而今，贝克尔太太是一家之主妇，有权发号施令，这叫她气不打一处来。
“Ellie was the daughter of a prosperous farmer and had brought a good dowry with her. She hadn't gone to the village school, but to Zwingenberg, the nearest town, where there was a girl's gymnasium, and she'd got quite a good education.Poor Frau Becker had come to the farm when she was fourteen and if she could read and write that's about all she could do.That was another cause of discord between the two women.Ellie lost no opportunity of showing off her knowledge, and Frau Becker, red in the face with anger, would ask what use it was to a farmer's wife.Then Ellie would look at her husband’s identification disc which she wore on a steel chain round her wrist and with a bitter look on her sullen face say：“‘Not a farmer's wife. Only a farmer's widow.Only the widow of a hero who gave his life for his country.'
埃莉是一户富裕农家的千金，嫁过来时带了一笔不菲的嫁妆。她没有在村里上学，而是去邻近的茨温根贝格城，上的是女子高级学校，受过良好的教育。可怜的贝克尔太太十四岁就来到了农场当用人，能够看得懂书、写得了字，对她而言就很不错了。两个女人之间有裂痕，这也是其中的一个原因。埃莉一有机会就卖弄她的学问，会把贝克尔太太气得满脸通红，就问要学问对于一个农夫的妻子有什么用。这时，埃莉会看看自己用钢链套在手腕上的亡夫的身份牌，阴沉的脸上浮现出凶狠的表情，说道：‘不是农夫的妻子，而是农夫的寡妇——只不过，这个农夫是个为国捐躯的英雄。’
“Poor old Becker had his work cut out to keep the peace between them.”
“可怜的贝克尔老头放着农活干不成，在她们之间当起了和事佬。”
“But what did they make of you?”I interrupted Larry.
“插一句，他们是怎么看你的呢？”我打断拉里的话问道。
“Oh, they thought I'd deserted from the American Army and couldn't go back to America or I'd be put in jail. That's how they explained that I didn't care to go down to the inn and drink with Becker and Kosti.They thought I didn’t want to attract attention to myself and have the village constable asking questions.When Ellie found out I was trying to learn German she brought out her old schoolbooks and said she’d teach me.So after supper she and I would go into the sitting-room, leaving Frau Becker in the kitchen, and I’d read aloud to her while she corrected my accent and tried to make me understand words I couldn’t get the sense of.I guessed she was doing it not so much to help me as to put something over on Frau Becker.
哦，他们把我当成了美军的逃兵，不敢回到美国去，一回去就要被关进大牢。我不愿意跟贝克尔和考斯迪去酒馆喝酒，他们认为就是因为这个缘故。他们觉得我是不想引起人们注意，不想招来村警盘问我。当埃莉得知我在学德语，便把她用过的旧课本拿了来，说要教我。于是，吃过晚饭后我们俩就会到客厅里去学习，把贝克尔太太一个人丢在厨房里。我大声朗读，埃莉为我纠音。遇到不懂的词，她就给我解释。我猜想她这样做与其说是帮助我，还不如说是在向贝克尔太太传达某种隐晦的意思。
“All this time Kosti was trying to make Frau Becker and wasn't getting anywhere. She was a jolly, merry woman and quite prepared to joke and laugh with him, and he had a way with him with women.I guess she knew what he was after and I dare say she was flattered, but when he started pinching her she told him to keep his hands to himself and smacked his face.And I bet it was a good hard smack.”
“考斯迪一直都在挖空心思勾引贝克尔太太，但是没有进展。贝克尔太太高高兴兴、乐乐呵呵，跟他插科打诨、谈笑风生，而他是个风月老手，自有一套手段。我猜她知道考斯迪的用心，敢说她为此而感到得意。可是，当考斯迪对她动手动脚时，她呵斥他放规矩些，还扇了他一记耳光。我敢说，那一耳光打得可真是不轻。”
Larry hesitated a little and smiled rather shyly.
说到这里，拉里犹豫了一下，难为情地笑了笑。
“I've never been the sort who thinks women are after me, but it occurred to me that-well, that Frau Becker had fallen for me. It made me rather uncomfortable.For one thing she was a lot older than me, and then old Becker had been very decent to us.She dished out the food at table and I couldn't help noticing that she helped me more liberally than the others, and she seemed to me to look for opportunities of being alone with me.She'd smile at me in what I suppose you'd call a provocative manner.She'd ask me if I had a girl, and say that a young fellow like me must suffer for the want of it in a place like that.You know the sort of thing.I only had three shirts and they were pretty well worn.Once she said it was a disgrace that I should wear such rags and if I’d bring them along she’d mend them.Ellie heard her and next time we were alone said that if I had anything to mend she’d do it.I said it didn’t matter.But a day or two later I found that my socks had been darned and my shirts patched and put back on the bench in the loft on which we kept our things；but which of them had done it I don’t know.Of course I didn’t take Frau Becker seriously；she was a good-natured old soul and I thought it might be just motherliness on her part；but then one day Kosti said to me：
我从来不觉得自己是个有女人缘的人。可是我依稀感到……感到贝克尔太太看上了我。这叫我很不舒服。一是因为她比我大得多，二是由于贝克尔老先生对我们一直都很不错。吃饭时，贝克尔太太管分菜，我暗中注意到她给我的菜总会比别人的多。她好像在找机会同我单独在一起。她冲着我微笑——那种笑容可以说是具有挑逗性的。她问我有没有女朋友，说我这样的小伙子到这种地方来，身边没个女人一定会很痛苦的。她话里边的含意你应该是清楚的。我只带了三件衬衫，而且都穿得很破了。有一次，她说我破衣烂衫的怪丢人，叫我把衬衫交给她补一补。这话让埃莉听去了。一次，她趁旁边没人的时候说，如果我有缝缝补补的活儿，可以交给她做。我胡乱支吾了几句。可是，一两天后，我发觉自己袜子上的洞全补好了，衬衫也打了补丁，放回到了干草棚里的长凳上（我们的物件都摆放在这条凳子上）。这是她们俩哪一个的善举，我不得而知。当然喽，我并没有将贝克尔太太当回事。她心眼好，可我觉得她的情感仅是母性的一种表现。可是有一天考斯迪对我说：
“‘Listen, it's not me she wants；it's you. I haven't got a chance.'
‘告诉你吧，她想要的不是我，而是你。我算是没有戏了。’
“‘Don't talk such nonsense，'I said to him.‘She's old enough to be my mother.'
‘别胡扯！’我正色道，‘她年龄大得都可以当我的妈妈。’
“‘What of it?You go ahead, my boy, I won't stand in your way. She's not so young as she might be, but she's a fine figure of a woman.'
‘这有什么关系？你只管追她就是了，老弟，我不会碍你事的。她也许不那么年轻了，但身体还是挺有女人味的。’
“‘Oh, shut up.'
‘天呀，请你别说了。’
“‘Why d'you hesitate?Not on my account, I hope. I'm a philosopher and I know there are as good fish in the sea as ever came out.I don't blame her.You're young.I've been young too.Jeunesse ne dure qu’un moment.’
“为什么要优柔寡断呢？但愿不是为了我。我可是个达观者，懂得”天涯何处无芳草的道理。我不怪她，因为你年轻么。我年轻时也风光过。应该趁年轻及时行乐。
“I wasn't too pleased that Kosti was so sure of what I didn't want to believe. I didn't quite know how to deal with the situation, and then I recalled various things that hadn't struck me at the time.Things said by Ellie that I hadn't paid much attention to.But now I understood them and I was pretty sure that she too knew what was happening.She’d turn up suddenly in the kitchen when Frau Becker and I happened to be alone.I got the impression that she was watching us.I didn’t like it.I thought she was out to catch us.I knew she hated Frau Becker, and if she had half a chance she’d make trouble.Of course I knew she couldn’t catch us, but she was a malevolent creature and I didn’t know what lies she mightn’t invent and pour into old Becker’s ears.I didn’t know what to do except to pretend I was such a fool I didn’t see what the old girl was up to.I was happy at the farm and enjoying the work and I didn’t want to go till after we’d got the harvest in.”
“考斯迪那样捕风捉影，样子那般深信不疑，叫我心中有点不悦。出现这种情况，我真不知该怎么对付才好。此时，我想起了一些以前没有重视过的现象，想起了以前从未往心上放的埃莉的一些言语。我大有恍然大悟之感，坚信埃莉是知情的。贝克尔太太和我单独在厨房里时，她会突然闯进来。我觉得她好像在监视我们，这叫我很不高兴。她可能是想捉奸哩。我知道她恨贝克尔太太，有点机会就恨不得生出些事端来。当然，若说捉奸，那是不可能的。可是，这个女人可不是个善茬，谁知道会编出什么谎话来灌进贝克尔老先生的耳朵里呢。我没有脱身良策，只好装痴装傻，假装不知道她们在演什么戏。在这个农场，我日子过得开心，也喜欢这儿的农活，绝不愿意在收麦之前就离开。”
I couldn't help smiling. I could imagine what Larry had looked like then, in his patched shirt and shorts, his face and neck burnt brown by the hot sun of the Rhine valley, with his lithe slim body, and his black eyes in their deep sockets.I could well believe that the sight of him set the matronly Frau Becker, so blonde, so full-breasted, all of a flutter with desire.
听着听着，我不禁哑然失笑。可以想象得来拉里当时的模样——身穿缀着补丁的衬衣、短裤，脸和脖子被莱茵河的太阳晒得发紫，身体敏捷、苗条，黑黑的眼深嵌在眼窝里。我坚信，这种模样一定会让贝克尔太太这样丰胸肥乳的金发主妇欲火中烧。
“Well, what happened?”I asked.
“后来怎么样呢？”我问道。
“Well, the summer wore on. We worked like demons there.We cut and stacked the hay.Then the cherries were ripe, Kosti and I got up on ladders and picked them, and the two women put them in great baskets and old Becker took them into Zwingenberg and sold them.Then we cut the rye.And of course there were always the animals to look after.We were up before dawn and we didn't stop work till nightfall.I supposed Frau Becker had given me up as a bad job；as far as I could without offending her, I kept her at arm's length.I was too sleepy to read much German in the evenings and soon after supper I'd take myself off to our loft and fall into bed.Most evenings Becker and Kosti went to the inn down in the village, but I was fast asleep by the time Kosti came back.It was hot in the loft and I slept naked.
夏日的时光在流淌。我们像牛马般干着活，收割完小麦，将麦秆堆成干草垛。后来樱桃熟了。我和考斯迪就爬上梯子摘樱桃，由两个女人把摘下来的樱桃装进大箩筐，再由贝克尔老先生送到茨温根贝格城里去卖掉。再接下来就是收割黑麦了。这期间，我们始终没忘了放牛牧猪。我们天不亮就起来干活，天黑时才收工。我心想贝克尔太太可能觉得我是个不开窍的榆木疙瘩，不再理会我了。在尽量不得罪她的情况下，我跟她保持着一定的距离。一到晚上，我便困得不行，看不了几眼德文书了，吃完晚饭就回到我们住的干草棚里，倒头便睡。贝克尔和考斯迪晚上一般都要去村里泡酒馆。等到考斯迪从酒馆回来，我早已进入了梦乡。干草棚里很热，我睡觉时脱得精光。
“One night I was awakened. At the first moment I couldn't make out what it was；I was only half awake.I felt a hot hand on my mouth and I realized somebody was in bed with me, I tore the hand away and then a mouth was pressed to mine, two arms were thrown round me, and I felt Frau Becker's great breasts against my body.
一天夜里，我被弄醒了。开头，我搞不清是怎么回事。就在我半睡半醒之际，只感到一只热乎乎的手捂住了我的嘴，这才发觉有人和我睡在一起。我将捂在我嘴上的那只手推开，接着就有一张嘴贴在了我的嘴上，两条胳膊把我搂紧。我感觉到那是贝克尔太太——她那丰满的胸脯紧紧偎在我身上。
“‘Sei still，'she whispered.‘Be quiet.'
‘别出声！别出声！’她低声说。
“She pressed up against me and kissed my face with hot full lips and her hands travelled over my body and she twined her legs in mine.”
“她身体紧紧抵住我，用滚烫、丰满的嘴唇吻我，两只手抚摸我的全身，两条大腿夹在我的大腿中间。”
Larry stopped. I giggled.
拉里停了下来。我哧哧笑了几声。
“What did you do?”
“你是怎么反应的呢？”
He gave me a deprecating smile. He even flushed a little.
他冲我难为情地一笑，甚至脸都有点红了。
“What could I do?I could hear Kosti breathing heavily in his sleep in the bed next to mine. The situation of Joseph has always seemed to me faintly ridiculous.I was only just twenty-three.I couldn't make a scene and kick her out.I didn't want to hurt her feelings.I did what was expected of me.
“我有什么办法呢？旁边的床上睡着考斯迪，他沉重的呼吸声清晰可闻。约瑟夫的故事我一直都觉得有点可笑。我只有二十三岁呀。反正我觉得不便闹起来将她赶下床。我不愿意刺伤她的感情，于是就依顺了她。”
“Then she slipped out of bed and tiptoed out of the loft. I can tell you, I heaved a sigh of relief.You know, I'd been scared.‘Gosh，'I said，‘what a risk to take！'I thought it likely that Becker had come home drunk and fallen asleep in a stupor, but they slept in the same bed, and it might be that he'd woken up and seen his wife wasn't there.And there was Ellie.She always said she didn’t sleep well.If she’d been awake she’d have heard Frau Becker go downstairs and out of the house.And then, suddenly, something struck me.When Frau Becker was in bed with me I’d felt a piece of metal against my skin.I’d paid no attention, you know one doesn’t in those circumstances, and I’d never thought of askingmyself what the devil it was.And now it flashed across me.I was sitting on the side of my bed thinking and worrying about the consequences of all this and it was such a shock that I jumped up.The piece of metal was Ellie’s husband’s identification disc that she wore round her wrist and it wasn’t Frau Becker that had been in bed with me.It was Ellie.”
“完事后，她溜下床，蹑手蹑脚走掉了。可以说，我轻轻舒了口气。要知道，我都快吓死啦。‘老天呀，真是险啊！’我对自己说。我想着贝克尔很可能吃得大醉回来，昏昏沉沉睡着了。可是，两口子睡一张床，他一觉醒来不见了妻子，那该如何是好？另外，还有埃莉。她老说自己睡觉睡不踏实。万一她醒着，听见贝克尔太太下楼走出屋子，那该怎么办呢？就在这时，我突然想起了一个细节——贝克尔太太和我睡在一起时，我觉得有个金属片抵在了我身上。你也知道，在干那种事的时候，这种细节是注意不到的。我也一直没有细想过那究竟是何物。突然，我若有所悟。当时我坐在床沿上，正愁肠百结，担心此事会产生严重后果呢，一个念头闪过我的脑际，惊得我跳了起来。那个金属片其实是埃莉丈夫的身份牌，她历来都是套在手腕上的。原来，和我同眠共枕的不是贝克尔太太，而是埃莉！”
I roared with laughter. I couldn't stop.
我听了笑得肚子疼，想停也停不下来。
“It may seem funny to you，”said Larry.“It didn't seem funny to me.”
“你可能觉得好笑，”拉里说，“而我并不觉得。”
“Well, now you look back on it, don't you think there is just a faint element of the humorous about it?”
“你现在回想一下当时的情景，你不觉得其中有几分幽默吗？”
An unwilling smile played on his lips.
拉里嘴边勉强地露出了一丝微笑。
“Perhaps. But it was an awkward situation.I didn't know what it was going to lead to.I didn't like Ellie.I thought her a most unpleasant female.”
“也许吧。不过，当时的处境很是尴尬。真不知事情会怎么收场呢。我不喜欢埃莉，觉得她是个非常讨人嫌的女人。”
“But how could you mistake one for the other?”
“问题在于，你怎么会认错人呢？”
“It was pitch dark. She never said a word except to tell me to keep my trap shut.They were both big stout women.I thought Frau Becker had her eye on me.It never occurred to me for a moment that Ellie gave me a thought.She was always thinking of her husband.I lit a cigarette and thought the position over and the more I thought of it the less I liked it.It seemed to me that the best thing I could do was to get out.
当时屋子里黑得伸手不见五指。她除了叫我不要作声外，一句话也没说。她们两个身材都高大、壮实。我认为只是贝克尔太太看上了我，怎么也想不到埃莉也对我起了念头。她一贯心里只有亡夫的呀。我点起一根烟，边抽烟边权衡自己的处境，越想越觉得不妙。三十六计，走为上计！
“I'd often cursed Kosti because he was so hard to wake. When we were at the mine I used to have to shake the life out of him to get him up in time to go to work.But I was thankful now that he slept so heavily.I lit my lantern and dressed, bundled my things into my rucksack-I hadn't got much, so it didn't take a minute-and slipped my arms through the straps.I walked across the loft in my stocking feet and didn't put my shoes on till I got to the bottom of the ladder.I blew out the lantern.It was a dark night, with no moon, but I knew my way to the road and I turned in the direction of the village.I walked fast as I wanted to get through it before anyone was up and about.It was only twelve miles to Zwingenberg and I got there just as it was stirring.I shall never forget that walk.There wasn't a sound except my footsteps on the road and now and then the crowing of a cock in a farm.Then the first greyness when it wasn’t yet light and not quite dark, and the first hint of dawn, and the sunrise with the birds all starting to sing, and that lush green country, meadows and woods and the wheat in the fields silvery gold in the cool light of the beginning day.I got a cup of coffee at Zwingenberg and a roll, then I went to the post office and sent a wire to the American Express to have my clothes and my books sent to Bonn.”
“平时我老怪考斯迪睡觉太死，叫都叫不醒。下井的那段时间，我常常为了让他按时起床，上班不迟到，非得狠劲摇他不行。而此时他睡觉睡得死，我倒要感谢他了。点亮提灯，穿好衣服，我将自己的用品塞进背包里——东西不多，这一过程很快就完成了。然后，将背包背上肩，穿着袜子走过去，下了楼梯后才把鞋穿上，并吹熄了灯。夜晚漆黑一片，一点月光也没有。好在我认得路，上了大道后便向村子那个方向走去。我走得很快，想趁着人们还未起床赶紧穿过村子。此处距离茨温根贝格城只有十二英里的路程。抵达那儿时，街上刚开始有人走动。那段路程我终生难忘。路上，万籁俱寂，只能听得见脚下沙沙的脚步声，还能听见时不时传来农户人家的公鸡打鸣的声音。后来，天空半明半暗，出现了鱼肚白，再接下来就是曙光初露，太阳冉冉升起。只见百鸟啁啾，那绿油油的田野、草地和树林以及田间的小麦都沐浴在静谧的晨光里，像是披着金裹着银。到了茨温根贝格城里，我喝了杯咖啡，吃了块面包，然后去邮局给美国运通公司发电报，叫他们把我的衣服和书寄到波恩去。”
“Why Bonn?”I interrupted.
“为什么要到波恩去？”我打断他的话问。
“I'd taken a fancy to it when we stopped off there on our tramp down the Rhine. I liked the way the light shone on the roofs and the river, and its old narrow streets, and its villas and gardens and avenues of chestnut trees and the rococo buildings of the university.It struck me then it wouldn't be a bad place to stay in for a bit.But I thought I'd better present a respectable appearance when I got there, I looked like a tramp and I didn't think I'd inspire much confidence if I went to a pension and asked for a room, so I took a train to Frankfurt and bought myself a grip and a few clothes.I stayed in Bonn off and on for a year.”
“我们俩沿着莱茵河畔旅行时，曾在那儿歇过脚，我当时就喜欢上了那座城市。我喜欢看阳光照在千家万户的屋顶上以及河面上，喜欢那古老的窄街、别墅、花园和一排排的栗子树，喜欢高等学府那洛可可式建筑。我觉得那是个挺不错的地方，在那儿住上一段时间是很惬意的。不过，我认为到那儿去，最好先把自己收拾得像个样。我看上去像个流浪汉，到哪户人家找住处的时候，都可能得不到对方的信任。于是，我乘坐火车去了法兰克福，买了个皮包和几件衣服。在波恩，我断断续续住了有一年的光景。”
“And did you get anything out of your experience, at the mine, I mean, and on the farm?”
“你下井挖过煤，在农场干过农活，那样的人生经历你有收获吗？”
“Yes，”said Larry, nodding his head and smiling.
“有。”拉里点头笑着说。
But he didn't tell me what it was and I knew him well enough by then to know that when he felt like telling you something he did, but when he didn't he would turn off questions with a cool pleasantry that made it useless to insist. For I must remind the reader that he narrated all this to me ten years after it happened.Till then, when I once more came in contact with him, I had no notion where he was or how he was engaged.For all I knew he might be dead.Except for my friendship with Elliott, who kept me posted with the course of Isabel's life and so reminded me of Larry, I should doubtless have forgotten his existence.
不过，他没有说出究竟是什么样的收获。此时的我对他已非常了解，知道他愿意说，就一定会说的，如果不愿意说，那他会开个玩笑将话题引开，你再怎么问也是白搭。在此，我必须提醒读者，这一切都是在事情发生十年之后他才告诉我的。在这以前，也就是我和他重又碰面之前，我不知他身在何方，也不知他在干些什么，亦不知他是生是死。要不是跟艾略特有点交情，从他那儿了解到一些伊莎贝尔的情况，从而回忆起拉里，我肯定早已忘掉有这个人了。
