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> 影视听说 > 影视原声 > 老友记 > 老友记第一季 >  第11篇

老友记第一季The One With Mrs.Bing

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The One With Mrs.Bing

[Scene: A Street: Monica and Phoebe are walking to a newsstand.]

Phoebe: Do you think they have yesterday's daily news?

Monica: Why?

Phoebe: Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.

Monica: Oh my God. (Grabs Phoebe and turns her away) Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression.

Phoebe: Where? (Turns to face him) Ooh, come to Momma.

Monica: He's coming. Be cool, be cool, be cool.

(The guy walks past them)

Guy: Nice hat.

Monica and Phoebe: (in unison) Thanks.

(The guy walks on)

Phoebe: We should do something. Whistle.

Monica: We are not going to whistle.

Phoebe: Come on, do it.

Monica: No!

Phoebe: Do it!

Monica: No!

Phoebe: Do it do it do it!

Monica: (Shouts to the guy) Woo-woo!

(The guy turns round, startled. Monica points to Phoebe. The guy gets hit by a truck)

Phoebe: I can't believe you did that!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Hospital, the guy is in a coma and Mon and Pheebs are visiting.]

Monica: Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'?

Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!

Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing?

Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this.

Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.

Phoebe: Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.

Monica: Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance!

Phoebe: Oh! And, he's the kinda guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, y'know, and not saying 'Yeah, I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked.

Monica: I wish all guys could be like him.

Phoebe: I know.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]

Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?

Monica: He doesn't have anyone.

Phoebe: Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible.

Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.

Rachel: Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV)

Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.

(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)

Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.

Rachel: No way, forget it.

Joey: C'mon, she's your mom!

Chandler: Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?

Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!

Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'

Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.

Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.

Ross: Oh, please...

(Rachel opens the door to Paolo)

Paolo: Bona sera.

Rachel: Oh, hi sweetie. (They kiss)

Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?

Monica: Last night.

Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew.

Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!

Paolo: Ah! Nora Bing!

Jay Leno: (on TV) ...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?

Phoebe: Your mom was arrested?

Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride.

Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...

Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing?

All: Shhh.

Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.

Chandler: THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!

Jay Leno: (on TV) Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going?

Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...

All: Awww!

Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.

Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...

Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.

(The gang turn to look at Chandler)

Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames.

[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]

Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.

[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]

Phoebe: What about Glen? He could be a Glen.

Monica: Nah... not-not special enough.

Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon?

Monica: Waaay too special.

[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]

Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu)

Chandler: Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken.

Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?

Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.

Ross: (Entering) What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place.

Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.

Chandler: I know I am.

Mrs. Bing: Who's doing shots?

Monica: Yeah.

Phoebe: I'm in.

Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?

Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.

(Enter Rachel and Paolo. They are both somewhat flustered)

Rachel: Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time.

Ross: ...But a man can change. (Downs a shot)

[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]

Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything?

(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)

Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.

Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.

Chandler: Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen.

[Cut to Mrs. Bing on the telephone.]

Mrs. Bing: Yeah, any messages for room 226?

(Ross emerges from a toilet marked 'Chicas')

Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?

Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)

Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight?

Ross: Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.

Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.

Ross: No. It's the one he's licking.

Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.

Ross: You're good.

Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?

Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?

Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.

Ross: When?

Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.

Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?

Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!

Ross: Please.

Mrs. Bing: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy...

Ross: Right.

Mrs. Bing: You are gonna be fine, believe me.

(She kisses him on the cheek)

Ross: Uh-oh...

(...Then full on the mouth)

(Enter Joey)

Joey: Uhhhh.... I'll just pee in the street.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the next morning. Joey is getting the door in his dressing gown—it's Ross.]

Ross: Hey, is Chandler here?

Joey: Yeah.

(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)

Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?

Joey: Right. No big deal.

Ross: Okay.

Joey: In Bizarro World!! You broke the code!

Ross: What code?

Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom!

(Chandler opens the door and startles them. He picks up the paper)

Chandler: What are you guys doing out here?

Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.

Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.

Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.

Joey: Yeah, well you didn't call and leave your grip size.

Chandler: Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much time together. (Goes back inside and shuts the door)

Ross: Okay, I'm scum, I'm scum.

Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?

Ross: I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's...

Joey: You don't think my mom's sexy?

Ross: Well... not in the same way...

Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?

Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...

(Monica and Rachel's door opens and Rachel and Paolo emerge)

Rachel: Hey.

Ross: Hey.

Rachel: What're you guys doing out here?

Ross: Well, not playing raquetball!

Joey: He forgot to leave his grip size!

Ross: He didn't get the goggles!

Rachel: Well,sounds like you two have issues.

(She and Paolo walk a little way down the hall)

Rachel: Goodbye, baby.

Paolo: Ciao, bela.

(They kiss. Ross is watching them)

Ross: Do they wait for me to do this?

(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)

Joey: So are you gonna tell him?

Ross: Why would I tell him?

Joey: How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.

Ross: Oh...

Monica: (Entering) What are you guys doing here?

Joey: Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!

Monica: ...What did I ask?

[Scene: Hospital. Phoebe is there stroking Coma Guy's hair, when Monica enters with a bunch of balloons.]

Monica: Hi.

Phoebe: Hi.

Monica: What are you doing here?

Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?

Monica: I'm not really here. Just thought I'd drop these off...on the way.. my way... Do you come here a lot? Without me?

Phoebe: No. (Monica brushes Coma Guy's hair in the other direction) No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?

Monica: How would I know? I-I wasn't here.

Phoebe: Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! (Whips back the sheet to reveal him wearing new pajamas.)

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]

Chandler: Oh my God.

Ross: You're my friend. I-I had to tell you.

Chandler: I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?

Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.

Chandler: What?

Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-

Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?

Joey: Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing.

Chandler: I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?!

Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.

Ross: Thanks, man, big help.

Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?

Ross: I wasn't- I mean, I-

Chandler: Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.

Ross: I know-

Chandler: I can't believe you did this. (Walks toward the door)

Ross: Chandler-

Joey: Me neither, y'know what-

Chandler: I'm still mad at you for not telling me.

Joey: What are you mad at me for?!

Ross: Chandler-

Chandler: You gotta let me slam the door! (Leaves; slams the door)

Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?

Ross: Joey-

Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]

Monica: Hey.

Rachel: Hey.

Monica: (Reading) 'A Woman Undone, by Rachel Karen Green'.

Rachel: Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?

Monica: (Reads) Yeah, I'd say so. And there's no 'j' in 'engorged'.

Phoebe: (Walks up with her guitar) Hey Rach.

Rachel: Hey.

Phoebe: Hello.

Monica: Hello.

Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?

Monica: No, you?

Phoebe: No, you?

Monica: You just asked me.

Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?

Rachel: Okay. (Writes a little more) I am so hot!

Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.

Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.

Joey: C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all.

Rachel: (Into microphone) Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.

Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. (Monica gives her a look) 'Kay. (Sung:)

You don't have to be awake to be my man,
As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand.
Though we just met the other day,
There's something I have got to say...

(She sees Monica sneaking out) Okay, thank you very much, I'm gonna take a short break! (Runs out, knocking over the mike stand)

Rachel: (Into mike) Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo!

(Enter Chandler)

Chandler: What was that?

Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...

Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)

Joey: (Laughing) Mother-Kisser... (Sees Ross's look) I'll shut up.

Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.

Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.

Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?

Chandler: Because it's complicated, it's complex- Hey, you kissed my mom!

(People turn to look)

Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.

Chandler: That's very funny. We done now?

Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?

Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.

Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!

[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]

Phoebe: Alright, whadyou do with him?

(There is the sound of a flushing toilet and Coma Guy emerges from the bathroom)

Monica: Oh! You're awake!

Phoebe: Look at you! How, how do you feel?

Coma Guy: Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.

Monica: You look good!

Coma Guy: I feel good! ...Who are you?

Monica: Oh, sorry.

Phoebe: I'm Phoebe Buffay.

Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.

Phoebe: Well, we both have.

Coma Guy: So, the Etch-a-Sketch is from you guys?

Phoebe: Well, actually it's just from me.

Monica: I got you the foot massager.

Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.

Monica: I read to you.

Phoebe: I sang. (To Monica) Hah!

Coma Guy: Well,... thanks.

Monica: Oh, my pleasure.

Phoebe: You're welcome.

Coma Guy: So. I guess I'll see you around.

Phoebe: What, that's it?

Monica: "See you around?"

Coma Guy: Well, what do you want me to say?

Monica: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?" Admit something to me? "I'll call you?"

Coma Guy: Alright, I'll call you.

Phoebe: I don't think you mean that.

Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe.

Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]

Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?

Chandler: No, just knowing you're gonna be there is enough.

Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)

Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.

Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.

Chandler: Really stupid.

Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?

Chandler: Yeah. No. No...

[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]

Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.

Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.

Ross: You're kidding.

Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"

Ross: Wow!

Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"

Ross: 'Kay, wait a minute, are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna grow up and realise I am your mom?"

Joey: That makes more sense.

Ross: So, what's going on now?

Joey: I dunno, I've been standing here spelling it out for you! (Goes back to the door) I don't hear anything. Oh, wait, wait, wait. (Looks through the spyhole)

Ross: Whaddya see?

Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!

(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)

Mrs. Bing: You okay, kiddo?

Chandler: Yeah, okay.

Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)

Chandler: Nice save.

(She walks down the hall)

Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.

Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.

(She leaves)

(Ross knocks on Monica and Rachel's door)

Chandler: Hey.

Ross: You mean that?

Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.

Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?

Chandler: Awful. Awful. Couldn'ta gone worse.

Ross: Well, howdya feel?

Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.

Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.

Closing Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]

Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.

Monica: What's a 'niffle'?

Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.

Rachel: Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist...

Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!

Rachel: Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it!

All: Nooo!

End

 

你想他们有昨天的报纸吗?

干嘛?

我只是想看我的星运准不准

天啊,菲比,别看

你背后有个将会令我们

伤心欲绝的帅哥

在哪儿?

朝妈妈这来呀.

他来了,酷一点…

好帽子

谢谢

我们应该有所行动,吹口哨

我不吹

快吹/不/吹,吹,吹

我无法相信你会这样

我为何会学狼叫?

我期望会发生什么?

他回头说”我喜欢那声音

我现在就要你”?

我只希望我们能帮上一点忙

昏迷中的帅哥

起来!起来!起来!

Phebe,你在干什么?

或许没人试过这一招

希望至少能知道他的名字

瞧他这张脸

即使他在昏迷中仍一副聪明样

我猜他是个律师

但是,你看见他手关节上的凹凸么?

那说明他是个艺术家

他是个兼职教雕塑的律师

而且他会跳舞

他是那种静静听你讲话的人

不是说”我了解”

而猜想着你裸体的样子

我希望男生都像他这样

我知道

纽约难道没有适合你们的清醒男生?

他身旁没人照顾

对,我们觉得应该负起责任

我不敢相信你会吹口哨

连我都不吹口哨

她出现了

各位,稍后我们将谈论她的新书

”豪放女”

永远引人人胜的诺拉泰勒宾

你得叫你的孩子上床睡觉了

我们别看这个

电影台有许多好电影

不行,没门

拜托,作者是你妈妈!

柏尼斯之周末夜

死人的腹股沟被打二,三十次

钱德勒,我得告诉你

我爱你妈的书

飞机上没她的书陪伴

我会度日如年

她的书简直是酷毙了

如果你小时候朋友争相传阅

”情妇婊子”的79页,你就不会认为酷了

拜托,我爱你妈

她是第一流的

你当然能这样说

因为她不是你妈

拜托

亲爱的

那个意大利人何时从罗马回来?

昨晚

他的飞机没在空中炸成火球?

只是我做过的一个梦?

但是。。。

她出现了

啊,诺拉宾

等会儿再谈你的书吧

听说你在伦敦被逮捕?

你妈被逮捕?

安静,我正感到无比的骄傲

说来有点难为情

不经意和一个男人亲热后

她怎会说难为情?

只因我很想吃宫保鸡丁

透露太多了!

现在你正为新书做宣传

情况如何?

还不错,明天我将前往纽约

其实我不喜欢纽约

我的儿子住那儿,我爱他.

母亲只会透过电话这么说

别会错意

只是我看不出你已为人母

我绝对没有恶意

不,我是个很前卫的母亲

我儿子的第一个保险套

是我买给他的

然后他就欲火焚身

国会正讨论新削算赤字法案

市长想再度提高地铁票价

今天最高气温是45度

还有各球队正在比赛

格伦如何?

可以叫他格伦

不,还不够特别

阿格曼侬如何?

太特别了

我饿死了,我想吃什么呢?

拜托,别又是宫保鸡丁

你看了那节目,感觉如何?

我觉得你可以更开放一些…

为何选在这种二流餐厅?

只有你才会选这种地方

闭嘴,这样满不错的

来,抱一个

我想我们可以喝点龙舌酒了

我知道我可以

谁要来点儿

我也要

我也要

给你。罗斯?

我不喝酒

抱歉,我们迟到了

我们有点忘了时间

男人可以改变

有人要我评价任何事物吗?

宾太太,我得告诉你

我拜读过你所有的大作

我是说真的

我读”浪漫夜”后

就一心想成为作家

别这么说

我能办到大家都能办到

你只需先描述几个欧洲城市

以委婉语形容男性生殖器

这样就能写成一本书了

各位,我母亲

226房有留言吗?

你还好吧,猛男?

我还好

你今晚怎么了?

没什么

谢谢

是因为那个意大利舔手男?

不,是因为被他舔的人

她应该和你在一起

你真行

罗斯,我卖出上亿本的书

知道为什么吗?

因为封面上的辣妹露两点?

不,因为我知道怎样去描写

会被女人们爱上的男人

相信我,保罗没有卖点

没人有兴趣翻325页

看保罗的罗曼史

他不过是个二等货

不过是最后被你终结的纠葛

什么时候?

他不女人心中的英雄

知道我们心中的英雄

是什么样的么?

封面上露两点的猛男?

是你啊

不,我是说真的

你既聪明又性感

是呀

你会走出阴霾的,相信我

我到街上尿就好了

钱德勒在吗?

昨晚的事你没告诉钱德勒吧?

好极了,因为我想不需告诉他

只是个吻,没什么大不了的

对,没什么大不了的

在疯狂世界中才叫没什么

你违反规定

什么规定?

不能亲朋友母亲的规定

姐妹还可以

火辣的姑妈,或许

母亲不行,绝对不行

你们在外面干什么?

乔伊和我说过

要早起去打回力球

显然有人睡过头

对,你没带球拍?

不,我的拍子拿去换线了

有人应该帮我准备一支拍子

是吗?你没说握把的尺寸

你们俩真会浪费时间

好吧,我是个人渣

罗斯,你怎能让这种事发生?

我也不知道

她不像是一般的妈妈

她很性感

你认为我妈不性感?

不一样的性感

我妈当年也是很美丽的

你认为生7个小孩是件容易的事?

我们愈谈愈离谱了

你们在这儿干什么?

不是打回力球

他忘了告诉我握把尺寸

他没带护目镜

看起来好像你们两个

关系暧昧

再见,宝贝.

他们在等我做这件事?

你到底要不要告诉他?

我不会告诉他的我

为何要告诉他?

如果你不说他妈或许会

你们在这儿干什么?

他没穿护裆

我刚问什么?

你在这儿干什么?

没事,我只是顺路…

你来这儿干什么?

我不是专程来此

只是顺路拿这些过来

你常自己一个人来?

没有

你认为他早上好点没?

我怎会知道?我又没来

真的?

也没替他换睡衣?

我的天.

你是我朋友,我得告诉你

我简直不敢相信

保罗亲了我妈?

对,我不知道你是否注意到

他喝了很多酒

他酒醉的模样你也见识过

我办不到…

是我

抱歉,是我亲了你妈

什么?

瑞秋和保罗的事令我很沮丧

我想我是喝太多龙舌酒

诺拉,妈太太

你的宾对我很体贴

没发生什么事

问乔伊

乔伊刚好走进来

你知道这件事?

知识是很奇怪的

我整天都和你在一起

你为何没告诉我?

他们被我逮到算你幸运

不然后果可不堪设想

谢了,老兄,大忙一个

我简直无法相信

你到底在想什么?

我没有…我不知道

我和我妈之间的鸟事

朋友中属你最清楚了

我知道

我无法相信你会做这种事

钱德勒知道吗?我也一样

我仍在气

你没告诉我为何气我?

钱德勒

让我用力关门吧

钱德勒,我没亲她,亲的人是他

违反规定就是这种下场

乔伊

瑞秋

”丢脸的女人”瑞秋 凯瑞 格林

对,我想尝试一下

我仍在写第一章

你认为他”粗棉布监牢”中的”爱棒”

能获得解放吗?

我想可以吧,我也这么认为

另外你拼错词了

瑞秋

你今晚要去医院吗?

没有,你呢?

没有,你呢?

你刚问过了

好吧,或许这是个圈套

瑞秋,我们现在能开始了吗?

我好兴奋

这是我爸妈在婚礼时照的

你告诉我

她不是旷世美人

没想到我们会谈论这个

就试着想像她没挺着大肚子

Central Perk很荣幸为各位介绍

菲比布菲小姐

谢谢

这首歌是有关个我刚认识的男生

他已成为我生命中重要的男人

你无须醒来当我的男人

只要你一息尚存

我就会在一旁守候

虽然我们相遇不久

我想说...

谢谢各位,我得暂停下

我们感谢菲比布菲小姐.

她在搞什么东西?

菲比刚…

我是和乔伊讲话,亲我妈妈的人

亲我妈妈的人

我闭嘴

钱德勒,我能说几句话吗?

我知道你仍在生我的气

我只想说那一夜有两个人

两双嘴唇

是哦,我预料到她会如此

她一直都是个佛洛依德梦魇

如果她都是如此

你为何不找她谈谈?

因为太复杂了,这是个情结

你亲了我妈

我们正在排练希腊剧

真幽默,排练完没?

还没,你不找她谈?

不说出你的感受?

我依然不会找她谈

别因为你亲过她

就自以为了解她

相信我,不能找她谈

到底是能还是不能?

我的手指

我的膝盖

还在排练

你对他怎么了?

你醒了

你瞧你,感觉如何?

头有点晕,基本上还行

你的气色好极了

我感觉好极了

你们是谁?

我叫菲比

莫妮卡

我一直在照顾你

我们一直在照顾你

蚀刻艺术是你们送的?

其实只有我一个

我替你做脚底按摩

知道是谁帮你刮胡子的吗?是我

我念书给你听

我唱歌给你听

谢了

我的荣幸

再见了

什么?就这样?

再见?

不然要我说什么?

我不知道

或许该说你们真好

我很感激

我会打电话给你们的

好吧,我会打的

一点诚意都没有

男生都这样

我们不断付出

没有任何回报

有一天他醒来却只说再见

走吧菲比

知道吗?我们以为你与众不同

我想这只是昏迷的缘故

楼下的车已发动

我只想拿几本我的书给你朋友

需要我在里斯本帮你买什么吗?

不需要,知道你要去就够了

好吧,要乖哦,我爱你

你亲了我最好的罗斯

好像说错了,反正差不多

好吧,我做了蠢事

愚蠢至极愚蠢至极

我也不知道是怎么发生的

抱歉,孩子

我保证不会再发生这种事

你没事了吧?

是的

男人与门之间禁忌的爱

他说了,他在责备她

不只是亲吻的事

一切都说出来了

你在开玩笑吧?不是

他说你何时才能成熟

开始当个妈?

等等,她回答说

你何时才能长大了解

我是个性感女郎?

等等,你确定她不是说

你何时才能长大了解

我是你妈?

这样比较合理

你也这样认为?

现在情况为何?

我不知道

我一直在这儿说给你听

我什么都听不到,等等…

你看见什么?

很难说,他们好小而且上下颠倒

他们走过来,他们走过去

不,他们没有

他们走过来了,快逃

你还好吧,孩子?

还好

希望都好

注意安全

你好,宾太太

你好,罗斯先生.

你当真?

对,有何不可?

我告诉她了

怎样?

简直是可笑到了极点

感觉怎样

不错

我告诉她了

瞧,或许我亲你妈不是个馊主意…

我们继续往下说了

这只是第一章

我要大家坦白的意见

在第二页中

他的手没伸向她那灰尖挺的双峰

什么是”如头”?

通常在双峰上可以找到

好吧…算我不会打字

直到你伸人他那颤动的”笔”

他用那支笔时你不会想在场的

够了,还我…

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