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老友记第六季The One Where Ross Got High

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The One Where Ross Got High

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is mixing some Thanksgiving treat (I’m assuming mashed potatoes) in a bowl.]

Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess who’s coming to Thanksgiving dinner?

Chandler: Sydney Portier? Hehheh.

[Chandler throws his coat on the couch]

Monica: (not amused by Chandler’s joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.

Chandler: Oh! That’s great, they haven’t seen the place since I moved in!

[Monica goes to fiddle with something on the table.]

Monica: Yeah, and y’know, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.

[Monica goes to the stove.]

Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why can’t I tell them that we live together?

Monica: Because they don’t know we’re dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)

Chandler: Why haven’t you told them?!

Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didn’t.

Chandler: Why haven’t you told them?! Wouldn’t they be happy?!

Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! I’ll see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)

Chandler: Why wouldn’t they be happy?

Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they don’t like you. I’m sorry.

Chandler: What? What? Why?!

Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you’re really sarcastic, or that, y’know, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.

Chandler: Is this why they don’t like me or why you don’t like me?

Monica: Look, I know that I should’ve told them. I know I shouldn’t care what they think. I’m sorry.

Chandler: Y’know, it’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then we’ll tell ‘em.

Monica: You really think that’ll work?

Chandler: Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didn’t I?

Monica: (hugging Chandler) I don’t think you’ll ever get my parents that drunk!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Joey and Janine’s, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]

Chandler: Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! You’re parents like me, right?

[Chandler goes to stand to the side of the TV.]

Ross: (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!

Chandler: Well Monica just told me that they don’t.

Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they don’t like you.

Chandler: (annoyed) Do you know why?

Ross: I dunno, maybe it’s because you’re really sarcastic. Or maybe it’s cause you uh-

Chandler: (angry) Well if people don’t know they shouldn’t just guess!

[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]

Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.

Joey: Maybe I could give thanks for you shuttin’ up, eh?

Chandler: Maybe I could give thanks by taking my Playstation over to my new apartment.

Joey: Well maybe I love ya’.

Chandler: [mocks that last comment].

[Chandler starts to leave as Janine enters]

Janine [to Chandler]: Hey.

Chandler: Hey.

[Chandler exits]

Janine: Hey guys!

[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]

Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I don’t want to play video games, Joey!

Janine: Are you guys going to Chandler’s for Thanksgiving?

Joey: Yeah! Yeah, why? What’s up?

Janine: Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving uptown. I thought you guys might like to come.

Ross: For real?

Janine: No, but you should go to Chandler’s. Because none of us knows how to cook, we’ll probably just end up drinking all day.

Joey: Ye-ye, we go to yours!

Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because it’s my sister. But, uh, uh y’know actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.

Janine: (not sure of what to make of that) Okay.

[Janine leaves]

[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]

Joey: How you got three women to marry you, I’ll never know.

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]

Phoebe: Hey!

All: Hey!

Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!

Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachel’s dessert is...[about to say “bad”] so good that I eat all of it. There’s none left for anybody else!

[Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh]

Monica: Nothing.

Rachel: (worried) Nothing?

Monica: No, sweetie, I-I trust you.

Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, there’s nothing else for dessert?

Monica: You’re not gonna mess it up.

Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butter’s done?

Monica: Well, it’s done about two minutes before it looks like that.

[Joey and Ross enter.]

Joey and Ross: Hey!

All: Hey!

Joey: Oh, ooh the food smells great, Mon!

Ross: And the place looks so nice!

Joey: Yeah, hey hey, Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Ross: Happy Thanksgiving!

The Girls: Happy Thanksgiving!

Joey: Well, this has been great!

Ross: See ya!

[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]

Monica: Whoa whoa whoa! Where’re you goin’?

Ross: Oh, oh, we did say we’d stop by this little thing Joey’s roommate is having.

Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?

Ross: Some would say she’s attractive, yes.

Phoebe: And who else is going to be there?

Joey: Uh, some of her friends, yeah.

Rachel: Her dancer friends?

Joey: (frustrated) Yes, all right? All of her hot dancer friends are gonna be there and they’re gonna be, be drinkin’ and dancin, and we really wanna go!

Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!

Monica: You’re not gonna go anywhere, you said you were gonna eat here, and you’re gonna eat here!

Phoebe: Yeah, and-and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls is not very Thanksgivingy.

Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, it’s just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.

Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!

[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]

Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!

Mr. Geller: Hi!

All: Hi!

[Kisses and hugs are exchanged.]

Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is it’s Chandler!

Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.

Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!

[Chandler goes to take off Jack’s coat. He then notices little white flakes on Jack’s shoulders. He begins to wipe them off.]

Chandler: Whoa, snowing out there?

Mr. Geller: (angry) No.

[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]

Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.

[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]

Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. There’s no need to laugh and point.

[Monica rushes over to Chandler’s side.]

Monica: Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke.

Mr. Geller: My joke wasn’t funny.

[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]

Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.

Rachel: Really?!

Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And it’s making me look at him totally differently. Y’know, I mean he used to be just, y’know “Jack Geller Monica and Ross’s dad” and now he’s he’s “Jack Geller, dream hunk."

[We see a shot of Jack stuffing his face with food. Some dream hunk!]

Rachel: I dunno. Y’know to me he’ll always be “Jack Geller, walks in while you’re changing.”

[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]

Monica: Y’know dad, Chandler is one of Ross’s very best friends!

Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, y’know I’ve always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.

Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?

[Chandler and Monica exchange worried looks.]

Chandler: (worried) He’s the headliner of a gay burlesque show.

[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janine’s party, are egging her on to hurry up.]

Joey: Rach, you’re killin’ us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting!

Rachel: (looking at her truffle) Look at it, isn’t it beautiful?

Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?

Rachel: It’s a truffle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like something’s wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!

[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]

Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?

Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, y’know, I thought “well, there’s mincemeat pie,” I mean that’s an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, y’know. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?

Joey: Y-sure!

Rachel: (teasingly) And while I’m gone don’t you boys sneak a taste.

Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.

[Rachel leaves]

Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!

[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]

Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?

[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]

Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!

Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!

Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperd’s Pie!

Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now she’s gonna start all over! We’re never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!

Ross: No, no, we will. We just won’t tell her she messed up.

Joey: Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?

Ross: Yeah, it’ll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!

Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...

[Rachel enters]

Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!

Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?

Rachel: No!

Joey: (frustrated) Still not hot enough!

[Joey leaves]

[Phoebe walks over to talk to Rachel.]

Phoebe: Rachel?

Rachel: Yeah?

Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldn’t give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.

[We see a shot of Jack drinking condensed milk on the couch.]

[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]

Monica: Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.

Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.

Chandler: Oh, yes. Well it’s very beautiful. It’s cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I don’t mean tight, I mean it’s not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]

Mr. Geller: What’s the matter with him?

Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think he’s stoned again.

Chandler: (shocked) What?

Monica: (shocked) What?

Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.

[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachel’s old room.]

[Scene: Rachel’s old room. It’s pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]

Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents don’t like you.

Chandler: You do? Why?

Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.

Chandler: What?! Why did you do that?

Ross: I don’t know, aheh, your’s was the first name that-that popped into my head, I’m I’m sorry. I-I didn’t think it would matter.

Chandler: How could it not matter?!

Ross: How was I supposed to know we’d end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?

Chandler: What about all that “friends forever” stuff?

Ross: I don’t know, I-I was all high.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Rachel’s Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]

Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!

Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!

Monica: Ross, I can’t believe you’d do that!

Chandler: The reason we haven’t told them we’re together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?

Ross: Okay, okay, I’ll tell ‘em it wasn’t Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?

Monica: You! It’s not like it’s a big deal! You-you don’t still do it or anything!

Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachel’s trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]

Monica: Dad, please don’t pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if you’re gonna put your feet up, why don’t you sit on the-

Phoebe: Monica, leave him alone!

[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]

Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janine’s friends are dancers?! And that they’re going to be drinking alot!?

Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because it’s so romantic.

Joey: Well you’re whippin’ so slow! Can’t you do it any faster?

Rachel: Joey! Come on! I don’t wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like “Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?”

[Joey gives her an understanding look.]

Rachel: So why don’t you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?

Joey: Oh I am!

[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]

Monica: Ross, if you don’t tell them, then I will!

Ross: Okay, fine!

[Ross gets up to go tell his parents.]

[Joey rushes over.]

Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?

Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it can’t? Okay.

[Monica and Chandler make “What was that?” gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachel’s old room.]

[Scene: Rachel’s old room, Ross and Joey enter.]

Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.

Ross: What?! What is with everybody? It’s Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!

Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, they’re all gonna’ make fun of her, do you want that?

Ross: Okay, okay, we’ll just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)

Joey: (scolding) Dude, they’re not objects.

[Ross makes a sorry face.]

Joey: Just kiddin,’ I’ll talk to them, you distract Rach.

[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]

Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?

Rachel: Okay...

[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]

Rachel: What’s up, Ross?

Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?

Rachel: Yeah!

Ross: And um...You look nice today.

Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, don’t do this.

Ross: What?

Rachel: I just- I don’t think us getting back together is a good idea.

Ross: (shocked) Eh?

Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Y’know? And it’s probably really hard for you to be alone right now.

Ross: (cutting her off) You’re alone.

Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean you’re [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-it’s just not the time for us. I’m sorry.

Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, can’t blame a guy for trying!

[Inside Monica and Chandler’s. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]

Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that he’s not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying “mmm” and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?

Chandler: Yeah, I’m not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.

[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]

Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, let’s serve that dessert already!

Rachel: Joey, you’re gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You don’t get any dessert.

Joey: (happily) Really?

Rachel: No, I’m just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, it’s trifle time!

Phoebe: So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isn’t it?

Rachel: It sure is.

Phoebe: Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant?

Rachel: Beef.

Phoebe: I can’t have any. You know I don’t eat meat. (Faking dissapointment.) Ohhh no.

[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachel’s old room, a smile on her face.]

Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.

Monica: Really?

[Rachel hands Monica a plate. Monica takes a spoonful of the whipped cream portion.]

Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!

Monica: Okay.

[Monica takes a bigger spoonful and a pea falls off]

Rachel: Op! Wait, you dropped a pea.

[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]

Rachel: Well?

Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! It’s good!

Rachel: Really? How good?

Monica: It’s so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one who’s eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.

[Ross glares at Monica.]

[Everyone takes a bite of their trifle.]

All: (faking enjoyment) Mmm.

Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that I’m gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.

[Chandler exits to the balcony.]

Mrs. Geller: (lying) I’ve gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monica’s room.

Mr. Geller: (also lying) I’ll help you dial.

[Jack and Judy exit to Monica’s room.]

Monica: (again, lying) I’m gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.

[Monica exits to the bathroom.]

Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.

[Rachel reaches for Ross’s plate]

Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like he’s going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.

[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]

Ross: It tastes like feet!

Joey: I like it.

Ross: Are you kidding?

Joey: What’s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.

[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]

Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?

[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldn’t believe it either" gesture.]

Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if it’s any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.

[Phoebe comes back from Rachel’s old room.]

Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.

Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?

Phoebe: I dunno, let’s see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.

Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!

Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.

[Jack and Judy come out of Monica’s room and sit down on the couch.]

Mr. Geller: Boy, I’m glad I wore the big belt today.

Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that would’ve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.

[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]

Monica: Ross? Let’s go.

Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.

Monica: Alright, you know what? That’s it. You’ve had your chance.

Ross: Wha-what?

Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!

Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!

Ross: (in a 5 year old’s tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?

Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)

Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. I’m sorry.

Mrs. Geller: It was you?

Monica: And Dad, y’know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboys! Ross did!

[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]

Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing, Monica did!

[The Gellers glare at Monica.]

[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like they’re weirdos.]

Monica: Ross hasn’t worked at the museum for a year!

[The Gellers glare at Ross.]

Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!

[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]

[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a “take that!” look.]

Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!

[The Gellers glare at Ross.]

Phoebe: (joining in) I love Jacques Cousteau!

Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle!

Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!

Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) That’s alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren’t supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I’m sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.

Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.

Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?

Mr. Geller: What happened son?

Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!

Mrs. Geller: Chandler! You’ve been Ross’s best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now you’ve taken on Monica as well. Well, I don’t know what to say. You’re a wonderful human being.

[Chandler is mega shocked!]

Chandler: Thank you!

Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I don’t know what I’m gonna do about the two of you!

Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) I’ll talk to them!

Closing Credits

[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, Everyone is helping clean the table.]

Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldn’t feel bad!

Monica: Well actually, I-I didn’t eat mine. It’s still in the bathroom.

Joey: No it isn’t, I ate that.

Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monica’s bedroom.

Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.

End


OK,太好了,再见。
猜一下谁会来参加感恩节晚餐?
西尼.波迪尔?嘿嘿。
我想念瑞秋。
不,是我父母。
噢!那太好了,我搬来以后他们还没来过呢。
是的,你知道,如果你能不提到我们住在一起,那才好呢。我在想我们要在四点钟左右吃饭。
为什么我不能告诉他们我们住在一起?
因为他们不知道我们在约会。你觉得我们应该在厨房吃饭吗?
你为什么还没有告诉他们?
嗯,那么,我本打算, 我真的...但是,这个,那个,我没有。
为什么你还没告诉他们?他们会不高兴吗?
那么,四点钟在厨房吃饭,呆会儿见。
他们为什么会不高兴?
嗯,主要是因为,嗯
他们不喜欢你,对不起。
什么?什么?为什么。
可能是因为你以前冷淡,或者是喜欢挖苦人,或者,你知道,你总是开玩笑。
或者是,你脱下衣服把它们扔在躺椅上。
这是他们不喜欢我的原因,还是你不喜欢我的原因?
你瞧,我知道我应该告诉他们,我知道我不该管他们怎么想,对不起。
你知道,这没关系,这没关系。因为他们来的时候,我会非常迷人。
我会让他们爱上我,然后我们告诉他们。
你真的认为这么做管用吗?
嘿,我会非常迷人,宝贝,我已经得到了你,不是吗?
我想你不会让我父母醉成那样。
嘿,噢,太好了,罗斯!你父母喜欢我,对吗?
是的,他们当然喜欢你。
可莫尼卡刚告诉我他们不喜欢我。
是的,他们不喜欢你。
你知道为什么吗?
我不知道,也许是因为你太喜欢挖苦人,或者,是因为你,啊。
如果不知道,就不应该瞎猜。
这太好了,又一个不知道该感谢什么的感恩节。
也许我该谢谢你闭上嘴,嗯?
也许我该把游戏机搬到我的新公寓去以示感谢。
也许我爱你。
-嘿-嘿
嘿,伙计们。
不,我不想玩游戏机,乔伊。
你们要到钱德那里去过感恩节吗?
是的,是的,为什么?出什么事了?
我和我的跳舞朋友打算到城里过感恩节,你们也许愿意一起来。
真的吗?
不,你应该到钱德家去,因为我们没人会做饭。
我们可能会喝一整天的酒。
不不,我们来你这边。
我们实在不应该过来, 因为,那毕竟是我妹妹,
可是,呃,你知道实际上,有个妹妹一起长大也不错, 因为对我理解女人很有帮助.
是的,你该告诉你朋友这些.
OK
我从来不懂怎么会有三个女人愿意嫁给你.
嘿,嘿.
嘿,嘿,菲比,看一下.我的甜点, 我选做了一道传统的英式松露.
噢,听起来不错.
莫尼卡你在做什么,万一瑞秋的点心弄... 得好,我把它全吃了,
没给别人留一点.
我没做.
没做?
没做,亲爱的,我信任你.
那么,我把这搞糟了,还有其它点心吗?
你不会搞糟的.
噢,莫尼卡,我喜欢这个. 你对我真有信心,谢谢你.
技术问题,你知道黄油什么时候做好吗?
看起来两分钟前就好了.
嘿,嘿
噢,菜闻起来不错.
地方看起来也不错.
- 是的,嘿,大家感恩节愉快. - 感恩节愉快.
感恩节愉快.
那,太好了, 再见.
哇,哇,你们到哪里去.
噢, 是因为有件小事, 和乔伊住一起的朋友要...
噢,简妮,性感跳舞女孩?
有人会说她很吸引人,是的.
还有谁还会去那里?
她的一些朋友.
她的跳舞朋友?
是的,好吧? 她所有的性感跳舞朋友都要去,她们要去
喝酒,跳舞,我们真的想去.
哥们,我们是好人.
你们哪里也不能去,你们说过在这儿吃饭的,就要在这儿吃饭.
是的,把我们留在这里、自己去看性感跳舞女孩就不太像“感恩”了
噢,可是,这就像第一个感恩节,当印第安人和朝圣者,嗯
坐下吃饭.
对,对,印第安人教会了朝圣者在新世界什么是热辣的.
你们好.
你好.
爸爸,妈妈
瞧,瞧,这是谁,这是钱德.
噢,当然是的,你好,钱德.
盖勒先生,盖勒太太,你们气色真好. 你们能来真是太好了,请脱下外套吧.
哇,外面在下雪?
没有.
莫尼卡,这些菜看起来真棒, 你该考虑一下以此为生.
OK,我有头皮屑,但没必要指着我笑.
爸爸,钱德只是在笑您讲的笑话
我的笑话一点都不好笑.
瑞秋,瑞秋,我刚想起来,昨晚我梦到盖勒先生了.
真的?
是的,我梦到他把我从着火的房子里救了出来, 他真强壮,真勇敢.
这使我对他刮目相看.
你知道,他本来只是"杰克·盖勒,莫尼卡、罗斯的爸爸"
现在却成了"杰克·盖勒, 我梦想的大块头"
我不觉得,对我来说他永远是 "杰克·盖勒,你一换衣服他就进来。"
爸爸,钱德是罗斯最好的朋友之一.
是的,罗斯是个好人, 我一直觉得从年轻人身上
能看到他父亲的影子.
我也一直这么想.告诉我,你父亲是干什么的.
他是个给同性恋滑稽剧写文章的记者.
瑞秋,你要在这儿杀了我们, 你现在就上点心好吗? 那些喝醉的跳舞女孩在等我们.
看这个,漂亮吗?
是的,是的,这是什么?
这是松露,有这么多层.
先是一层松脆饼,再一层果浆,然后是奶油冻.
这是我刮下来的
然后是红莓,更多的松脆饼, 然后是煎嫩牛肉加豌豆和洋葱.
然后是一些奶油冻,再是香蕉, 然后我在顶上放了些生奶油.
香蕉前面是什么?
牛肉?
是的,我也觉得很怪异.
可是,你知道有一种甜馅饼,那也是英国式的点心.
你知道,这些人把许多奇怪的东西放在食物里.
- 噢,顺便问一下,我能从你那儿借点朗姆酒吗? - 当然
我走了你们不会偷吃吧?
OK
甜点心里放牛肉?我
不,不,不,这不行.
我知道,只有一层果浆?
到底是怎么回事?
噢,我的天,这两页粘在一起了.
钱德
噢,我的天,她做了一半英国松露, 一半...土豆泥肉饼
噢,现在她得重新再做一个了. 我们没机会把性感女孩介绍给新世界了.
不,不,我们会的,我们只是不告诉她把这搞糟了.
就让她上这些牛肉-奶油冻?
是的,这会成一个感恩节的有趣故事.
散发出呕吐物气味的故事是有趣...
乔伊,天哪,你的房间有100度.
有没有使你穿内衣走来走去?
没有.
那还不够热.
- 瑞秋?- 什么事?
OK,瞧他.
看这些强壮的手.
噢,我多想变成那听...炼乳。
妈妈,钱德刚才说你的毛衣真漂亮.
噢,谢谢你,钱德,我刚买的.
噢,是的,真漂亮,是奶黄色的又紧身.
我的意思不是紧身,我是说不太紧,我不是在看
他是怎么回事?
我想他又吸多了.
-什么?-什么?
老兄,我需要和你谈一下.
OK,我想我知道为什么我父母不喜欢你了.
你知道?为什么?
好的,还记得吗,我们年轻的时候.
- 嘿 - 大学二年级放春假时,我有一次在房间里吸大麻,父母走进来闻到了.
所以我告诉他们你刚抽了大麻,跳到了窗外.
什么?你为什么这么说?
我不知道.
你的名字是第一个蹦进我脑袋的. 对不起,我以为这没关系的
怎么会没关系?
我怎么知道我们毕业后还会是朋友!
更没想到你会搭上我妹妹!
那么那些“永远的朋友”什么的怎么说?
我不知道,我太兴奋了。
爸爸妈妈让我来这儿看看你是不是想让罗斯吸大麻!
你父母抓到罗斯在大学里抽大麻,他诬赖我。
罗斯,我不相信你能这么干。
我们没告诉他们我们在一起的原因是因为他们讨厌我。
好吧,那你怎么弥补?
好,好,我会告诉他们不是钱德大麻抽多了。
现在我该说是谁呢?

这不是什么大事,你现在不这样做了
好吧,好吧,我该说是谁骗我做的呢?
爸爸,请不要在这儿剔牙。
好吧,如果你能把脚抬开,你干嘛不坐在那儿。
莫尼卡,别烦他!
你能快点吗?
你没听见我说简妮的朋友都是跳舞的吗?
他们要喝许多酒?
不,我听见了,可是你再告诉我一遍吧,因为那多浪漫。
你搅得真慢。你不能快点?
乔伊,拜托,我不想犯任何错误,行吗?
这是唯一的点心,如果我弄砸了,大家都会...
"噢,记得那个感恩节吗,瑞秋把松露做糟了”
所以,你干嘛不让我来担心做松露,你来担心怎么吃它,好吗?
我在担心。
罗斯,如果你不告诉他门,我就
好吧,好吧。
罗斯,我能和你说两句吗?
噢,乔伊你能等一下吗?我得告诉父母一些事情。不行?好吧。
好吧,瞧,我想我们得告诉瑞秋她把点心弄糟了。
什么?大伙都怎么了?这是感恩节,不是说真话节。
瞧,每个人都得吃那个,那个香蕉-肉的玩意。
他们都会笑话她,这是你想看到的吗?
好吧,我们让大家都装作喜欢吃的样子。
那么没人会笑话她,我们也能再去“甜土豆馅饼”那里。
老兄,她们不是物品
只是开玩笑,我去和他们说,你引开瑞秋注意力。
嘿,瑞秋,我能和你到外面说几句吗?
好吧
什么事,罗斯?

感恩节。
我们在过节,是吧?
是的。
嗯,你今天真好看。
噢,不,罗斯,别这样。
什么?
我只是不认为我们再回到一起是个好主意。
嗯?
我料到今天可能会这样,罗斯,我知道这节日可能有点难熬。
你知道?这对你单身一人来说太难熬了
你也是单身.
不,我和菲比住在一起
我的意思是你独自一人,一个人。
现在对我们来说不是好时机,对不起。
好吧,你不能责怪一个想尝试一下的家伙。
好吧,如果有人不太会假装喜欢吃,我在表演课上学过点,试着
按摩一下你的肚子,或
嘴里说“嗯嗯”
噢噢,然后微笑,好了吗?
我不会给这样的表演课付钱。
瑞秋,你来,快,让我们上点心。
乔伊,你别催我。
你知道吗?你没有点心吃。
真的?
不,我在开玩笑,我不会对你这么干的。
好啦,大家注意,现在吃松露了。
瑞秋,这是传统的英式松露,是吗?
当然是。
哇,那你是用牛肉还是茄子做的?
牛肉
我不能吃了,你知道我不吃肉,噢噢
好吧,莫尼卡,我想让你第一个尝尝。
真得?
噢,噢,等一下。你只吃了炼乳,你得所有的层都咬一口。
好的
噢,等一下,你掉了豌豆。
怎么样?
嗯~~~~~
不错
真的?有多好吃?
太好吃了,我觉得太自私了
只有我一个人在吃。
我想我们该让每个人都尝尝这有多么好吃
尤其是罗斯

是的,太好了
我要到阳台上好好品尝
那样我就能边看风景边吃点心
我得到莫尼卡的房间里去给我的朋友玛丽打电话,告诉她这有多好吃
我去帮你拨号码。
我要到卫生间去,那样我能在吃的时候
照着镜子看看.
好吧,这到底是怎么回事?难道这不好吃吗?
-让我试一下。- 哇,不,啊。
吃完了。
真好吃
也许钱德还能剩点。
吃起来象脚一样。
我喜欢
你在开玩笑?
不喜欢什么?奶油冻?太好了
果酱?好吃。肉?好吃!
一只鸟刚把它抢走了
然后飞走了
然后把它扔在了街上?
是的,可是如果能算是安慰的话,在鸟把它扔掉以前,它看上去很喜欢吃.
瑞秋,过来
我刚才睡了个感恩节小觉,我又做了个关于杰克的梦。
噢,菲比,我一定要听吗?
我不知道,然后
我梦见我们要结婚了
他走了,因为他要去救火。
嗯,接着我去了个夜总会,我看见他在和一个姑娘鬼混
噢,我的天,他梦幻地欺骗你
是的,可是雅克·库斯特来了,他踢他屁股因为他骗了我
太棒了
然后,他带我去潜水,把我介绍给他的宠物海马,而且他还老是吃我豆腐。
帮帮忙吧,这不可能发生
小伙子,我很高兴我今天束了大皮带
5分钟前,一条那样的东西能让我躺下。
现在没事了。哦,还是有事,我终究还是个女人。
罗斯,我们去吧
噢,是的,告诉爸爸妈妈,我在考虑可能写封信
好的,给过你机会了
什么?
妈妈,爸爸
罗斯在大学里抽大麻
什么?
你这个告密者!
妈妈,爸爸,你还记得那次你们走进我房间,闻到大麻味道吗?
是的
我那时告诉你们是钱德在抽大麻,可是
是我抽的,对不起
是你?
爸爸,还记得那个被你炒掉的邮差吗?
他没偷你的《花花公子》,是罗斯干的
好吧,格罗丽亚飓风没弄坏门廊里的秋千,是莫尼卡弄坏的!
罗斯已经一整年没有博物馆工作了!
莫尼卡和钱德住在一起!
罗斯和瑞秋在拉斯维加斯结了婚,然后离婚了!又一次!!!
我爱雅克·库斯特!
我不该在松露里放牛肉的!
我想走了!!!!!
在30杪钟里得到了这么多信息
好吧,乔伊,如果想走,就走吧
瑞秋,你不应该在松露里放牛肉的,它一点也不好吃
菲比,很抱歉,可是我想雅克·库斯特已经死了
莫尼卡,你为什么觉得你必须对我隐瞒这么重要的事情?我无法理解。
我们早已大概猜出门廊里秋千的事了
罗斯,毒品?离婚?又离一次?
儿子你到底怎么了?
我,我,所有那些事情我都是受骗上当了
钱德,
这些年你是罗斯最好的朋友,
在毒品问题期间也忠于他,
现在你又接纳了莫尼卡。
好吧,我不知道该说什么
你是个大好人
谢谢你
不,谢谢你
莫尼卡,还有罗斯,我不知道该对你们两个怎么办
我会和他们讲的
你们这些家伙。那是香蕉,奶油,和牛肉
我不相信你们把这些全吃了,就为了不让我难过
实际上,我没有吃我的那份
它还在卫生间里
不,不在了,我吃了它
我们的留在莫尼卡的房间里了
没了,我把你们的也吃了

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