GRE作文范文 Argument-16

"Typically, as people age, their bone mass decreases, making them more vulnerable to bone fractures. A recent study concludes that the most effective way to reduce the risk of fractures in later life is to take twice the recommended dose of vitamin D and calcium daily. The three-year study followed a group of French women in their eighties who were nursing-home residents. The women were given daily supplements of twice the recommended dose of vitamin D and calcium. In addition, the women participated in a light weightlifting program. After three years, these women showed a much lower rate of hip fractures than is average for their age."

嘉文博译Sample Essay

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the most effective way of reducing the risk of bone fractures in later life is to take twice the recommended dose of vitamin D and calcium daily. To support this conclusion, the arguer cites a three-year study of French nursing home resident women in their eighties who were given daily supplements of twice the recommended dose of vitamin D and calcium. In this study, the women also participated in a light weightlifting program and showed a much lower than average rate of hip fractures for their age. Looking closely at the argument reveals that it is based on faulty reasoning and fails to deliver on its premise.

The most obvious and glaring defect in the reasoning behind this argument is the fact that this study was based on French women who were already residents of a nursing home. Nursing homes are very well protected environments, particularly when it comes to the problem of the elderly falling, as this is a well known and common problem. Strict safety precautions are in place to protect nursing home residents from falling, including the widespread use of walkers and wheelchairs, as well as generously and appropriately placed handrails to assist with moving about. The arguer attempts to attribute the much lower rate of hip fractures to the higher doses of vitamin D and calcium, but it is much more likely that the average rate is lower because the residents are better protected from falling and hurting themselves in the first place.

Additionally, the arguer fails to account for the obvious health benefits generated by the light weightlifting program. Weight training helps to strengthen both bone and muscle, leading to a more physically fit body with better balance and stamina. A more fit physique leads to fewer health problems by likely keeping the women from falling in the first place, and if they should fall, better muscle tone and mass could also better protect the underlying bones. It is highly likely that the weight-training program itself led to more health benefits than the double dose of vitamin D and calcium. By failing to address the likely contributions of the light weightlifting program, the arguer has failed to convey a convincing argument.

Furthermore, the study addresses only French people, only women and only those in their eighties. The arguer's conclusion states that "the most effective way to reduce the risk of fractures in later life" is by doubling the daily dose of calcium and vitamin D, meaning all people in later life, including men. The study did not have any male participants, nor did it have anyone under or over the ages of eighty to eighty-nine or from any other countries. Even assuming the validity of the study, there is no direct evidence of the fracture reducing benefits of increasing the dosage of vitamin D and calcium in anyone other than French women in their eighties in nursing homes. Additionally, the study only mentions hip fractures - it does not address any other types of bone fractures. Without such cause and effect evidence for other people and other bones in the body, the argument remains unconvincing.

In summary, the argument fails to convince by offering weak evidence that does not support the arguer's conclusion that the most effective way to reduce the risk of fractures in later life is to take two times the regular dose of vitamin D and calcium everyday. Even assuming that the study does demonstrate that it helps, there is nothing in the argument or the study that shows that it is the most effective way of doing so. Without such direct causal evidence, the study itself does not support the arguer's premise.

(622 words)

参考译文

普遍而言，随着人们日趋衰老，他们的骨质会减少，使其更易于招致骨折。一项近期的研究结论是，晚年生活中减少骨折风险的最有效方法是每日服用两倍于大夫建议的维生素D和钙。此项为期三年的研究追踪了一组年届八旬的法国妇女，她们均为私人疗养院居民。这些妇女每天均被给予两倍于大夫建议的维生素D和钙剂量的补充药物。此外，这些妇女还参加了一项轻微的举重计划。三年之后，这些妇女显示出了比其年龄段平均发病率远低得多的臀部骨折

在本项论述中，论述者的结论是，晚年生活中减少骨折的最有效方法是每日服用两倍于大夫所建议的维生素D和钙剂量。为了支持其结论，论述者援引了一项为期三年的对法国某私人疗养院年届八旬的女性居民所作的研究。在该项研究中，这些妇女每日被给予两倍于大夫建议的维生素D和钙剂量。这些妇女也参加一项轻微的举重计划，并显示出比其年龄段平均发病率低得多的臀部骨折。对这一论述细加推敲便会表明，它所依据的完全是错误的推理，无法为其命题提供充分的依据。

在该论点所隐含的推理中，最明显和最引人注目的谬误莫进于这样一个事实，即这一研究是基于早已成为某一私人疗养所居民的法国妇女。私人疗养所是一些有着非常完善保护设施的环境，尤其是在涉及到老年人摔倒这方面，因为这是一个众所周知和甚为普遍的问题。严格的安全防范措施十分到位，用以保护私人疗养院居民免遭摔跌之苦，包括广泛使用步行辅助器以及轮椅，以及在各处慷慨而又恰当地设置扶手来帮助行走。该论述者试图将较低水平的臀部骨折归诸于这些居民服用高剂量的维生素D和钙。但是情况很有可能是，疗养院中之所以平均骨折发生率较低，首先是因为这里的居民针对摔倒和受伤已获得了较为完善的防护。

此外，该论述者也没能说清楚轻微的举重计划所产生的明显健康作用。举重训练有助于增强人们的骨骼和肌肉，导致锻炼者身体状况得以改善，获得更好的平衡能力以及耐力。较佳的体质可导致较少的健康问题，因为首先这样的体质可使那些妇女不会随便摔倒，并且，即使她们真的摔倒的话，较好的肌肉张力及肌肉块也可以更好地保护位于下面的骨头。情况很有可能是举重训练计划本身，而不是两倍剂量的维生素D和钙，给女性居民们带来了更多的健康作用。由于没能探讨轻微的举重训练计划有可能带来的裨益，该论述者便没能传递出一个令人信服的论点。

再者，该项研究只涉及法国人，只涉及妇女，并且只涉及年已八旬的妇女。该论述者在结论中陈述道："在人们晚年生活中减少骨折风险的最有效方法"是每日服用两倍的钙与维生素D剂量。这里，论述者指的是进入晚年生活的所有的人，包括男性。该项研究并没有包括男性参与者，也没有包含任何80-89岁这一年龄段之上或之下的任何其他人，或来自任何其他国家的人。即使假定该项研究的有效性，也没有任何直接的论据来证明，除了私人疗养院中的八旬法国妇女外，任何人服用较大剂量的维生素D和钙会有利于减少骨折。此外，该项研究仅仅提及臀部骨折--它没能探讨任何其他类型的骨折。如果没有就其他人或就体内的其它骨头提供因果证据，该论点依然无法令人信服。

概而言之，该论点不能达到说服人的作用，因为所提出的甚为薄弱的证据根本就无法来支持论述者的结论，即人们晚年生活中减少骨折风险的最有效方法是每天服用两倍于正常剂量的维生素D和钙。即使我们假定该项研究确实能证明这一做法有益处，该项论述或研究中还是没有任何证据能证明这一做法是减少骨折的最有效的方法。没有这种直接的因果证据，该项研究无法来支持论述者的命题。