GRE写作满分范文二十二

The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.

"Five years ago, we residents of Morganton voted to keep the publicly owned piece of land known as Scott Woods in a natural, undeveloped state. Our thinking was that, if no shopping centers or houses were built there, Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as a natural parkland. But now that our town planning committee wants to purchase the land and build a school there, we should reconsider this issue. If the land becomes a school site, no shopping centers or houses can be built there, and substantial acreage would probably be devoted to athletic fields. There would be no better use of land in our community than this, since a large majority of our children participate in sports, and Scott Woods would continue to benefit our community as natural parkland."

A school should serve all students living nearby so that they can commute in a short distance. That will provide the better basic-human-needs. It is questioned that whether it is appropriate to establish a school in the area without locating houses. On the other hand, wouldn't it be good if the land is left untouch?

These are the facts of argument that readers might have after reading the message. The information is too opinionate therefore develop many questions. The writing given in the first part does not support the rest.

Comments:

The first paragraph of this fundamentally deficient response is apparently attempting to summarize the issues and terms of the argument. The attempt, though, is almost completely obscured by errors and the disorganized presentation of ideas. Paragraph 2 offers only the assessment that "the information is too opinionate therefore develop many questions."

The response warrants a score of 1 because it exhibits three of the scoring guide characteristics for a 1:

-- provides little evidence of the ability to understand and analyze

the argument

-- has severe and persistent errors in language and sentence structure

-- contains a pervasive pattern of errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics that results in incoherence