2023年02月02日 Jinger Duggar 分享了丈夫 Jeremy Vuolo 如何帮助她不再是一个“讨人喜欢的妻子”

In an exclusive interview with E! News, Becoming Free Indeed author Jinger Duggar shared a rare look into her marriage to Jeremy Vuolo. Learn how the Counting On star grew in confidence.
在 E! 的独家专访中 新闻，《成为自由人》的作者 罕见地分享了她与 的婚姻。了解明星如何增强信心。
 
Jinger Duggar Vuolo finally feels free to be her most authentic self.
Jinger Duggar Vuolo终于可以自由地做最真实的自己。
 
While growing up on TLC's 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On, the 29-year-old was convinced that obeying her family's rules and traditions from the Institute in Basic Life Principles was the secret to a good life. But as she recounts in her new book Becoming Free Indeed, Jinger went on a "disentangling journey" from those practices that wouldn't have been possible without her husband Jeremy Vuolo.
这位 29 岁的女孩在 TLC 的19 个孩子和计数 和 计数中长大，她坚信遵守基本生活原则研究所的家庭规则和传统是美好生活的秘诀。但正如她在她的新书《成为真正的自由者》中所叙述的那样，金格从那些没有她丈夫杰里米·沃洛 (Jeremy Vuolo )的情况下不可能实现的做法开始了一段“解脱之旅” 。
 
"Jeremy has been so kind throughout this entire process," she told E! News in an exclusive interview. "He's been so patient with me because I know it must be so hard for him to see these wrestling's. There are long days where it's just emotionally taxing and hard and he has only been there to support me, to help me, to cheer me on."
“杰里米在整个过程中都非常友善，”她告诉 E！独家专访中的新闻。“他对我一直很耐心，因为我知道他看到这些摔跤比赛一定很难。有很长的日子，这只是情绪上的负担和艰难，他只是在那里支持我，帮助我，为我欢呼在。”
 
When she was first courted by Jeremy—who is also a Christian with a reformed-Baptist pastor father, but not a member of IBLP—in 2016, Jinger said she was always concerned about being agreeable with her boyfriend and not having her own opinion.
当她在 2016 年第一次被杰里米（他也是一名基督徒，父亲是改革宗浸信会牧师，但不是 IBLP 成员）向她求爱时，金格说她总是担心能否与男友相处并且没有自己的意见。
 
"I wouldn't really think for myself," she said. "I would just think, ‘What's the right answer?' or ‘What do I think I should say to him right now?'"
“我不会真的为自己考虑，”她说。“我只是想，'正确的答案是什么？' 或者‘我觉得我现在应该对他说什么？’”
 

 
But after spending more time with the former professional soccer player, Jinger learned she could be anything she wants.
但在与这位前职业足球运动员相处了更多时间后，静儿了解到她可以成为任何她想要的人。
 
"Jeremy just encouraged me to not be someone I'm not, but just to be myself and feel comfortable and share my own opinions and have opinions on life," she said. "I thought I had to be this agreeable wife. That way I would be safe."
“杰里米只是鼓励我不要成为我不是的人，而只是做我自己，感到自在，分享我自己的观点，对生活有自己的看法，”她说。“我想我必须做一个讨人喜欢的妻子。那样我就安全了。”
 
In November 2016, Jinger and Jeremy exchanged vows and the couple are now parents to daughters Felicity, 4, and Evangeline, 2.
2016 年 11 月，Jinger 和 Jeremy 交换了誓言，这对夫妇现在是 4 岁的女儿Felicity和2 岁的Evangeline的父母。
 
In another major life change, Jinger said goodbye to her parent's hometown in Arkansas—where she and her 18 siblings grew up—and now lives in Los Angeles where she is considering putting her kids in public school.
在另一个重大的生活变化中，Jinger 告别了她父母在阿肯色州的家乡——她和她的 18 个兄弟姐妹在那里长大——现在住在洛杉矶，她正在考虑让她的孩子上公立学校。
 

 
"We have an awesome community around us, really good, solid friends that we love to hang out with," she explained. "I think it's crazy how many amazing schools there are here. We haven't decided yet what we're going to do for Felicity. I don't think I want to homeschool her through."
“我们周围有一个很棒的社区，非常好的、可靠的朋友，我们喜欢和他们一起出去玩，”她解释道。“我觉得这里有这么多很棒的学校，真是太疯狂了。我们还没有决定要为 Felicity 做什么。我不认为我想让她在家上学。”
 
And while Jinger's childhood may have been documented for millions of viewers to see, she has decided to take a different approach with her own daughters.
虽然静儿的童年可能已被记录下来供数百万观众观看，但她决定对自己的女儿采取不同的方式。
 
"We felt really strongly about giving our kids privacy and allowing them to choose if they wanted to be in the public eye or not," she shared. "We'll see what they choose. For now, we're just protecting their privacy until they can choose what they want to do."
她分享道：“我们非常强烈地希望给予我们的孩子隐私，并允许他们选择是否愿意出现在公众视线中。” “我们会看看他们的选择。目前，我们只是保护他们的隐私，直到他们可以选择他们想做的事情。”
 
For more candid confessions from Jinger and her new book Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear, keep scrolling.
如需 Jinger 和她的新书《确实变得自由：我摆脱恐惧的信仰的故事》的更多坦白，请继续滚动。
 
We independently selected these deals and products because we love them, and we think you might like them at these prices. E! has affiliate relationships, so we may get a commission if you purchase something through our links. Items are sold by the retailer, not E!. Prices are accurate as of publish time.
我们独立选择了这些交易和产品，因为我们喜欢它们，并且我们认为您可能会以这些价格喜欢它们。电子！有关联关系，因此如果您通过我们的链接购买商品，我们可能会获得佣金。商品由零售商而非 E! 出售。价格在发布时是准确的。

 
 


Cue the Sun
提示太阳
 
Jinger Duggar Vuolo writes that she and husband Jeremy Vuolo not only didn't go on any movie dates while they were courting in 2016—they never watched a movie together until their honeymoon.
Jinger Duggar Vuolo 写道，她和丈夫Jeremy Vuolo 在 2016 年求爱期间不仅没有参加任何电影约会——他们在度蜜月之前从未一起看过一部电影。
 
And that film was The Truman Show, which Jinger—who had been on TV in one reality show or another since she was 10—promptly compared to her own life, "except for the spouse-picking part."
那部电影就是《杜鲁门秀》，金格——她从 10 岁起就在一个或另一个真人秀节目中上过电视——立即将其与她自己的生活进行了比较，“除了择偶部分。”
 
"Five of my siblings took their first breath on television," the 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On star notes. "That makes them, like Truman Burbank, reality stars at birth."
“我的五个兄弟姐妹在电视上第一次呼吸，” 19 Kids 和 Counting  and  Counting On 明星笔记。“这让他们像杜鲁门·伯班克一样，一出生就成为真人秀明星。”

 

 
#FreeJinger? Thanks, But No
#FreeJinger？谢谢，但是没有
 
Just because she was a little insulated growing up doesn't mean Jinger wasn't online—and she saw when Television Without Pity's frequent Duggar musings spun off into the "Free Jinger" discussion board. Mainly, as far as she could tell, because she particularly enjoyed as-seen-on-TV family trips to New York, Chicago, London and other big cities.
仅仅因为她在成长过程中有点与世隔绝，并不意味着 Jinger 不在线——当 Television Without Pity 频繁的 Duggar 沉思进入“释放 Jinger”讨论版时，她看到了。据她所知，主要是因为她特别喜欢在电视上看到的纽约、芝加哥、伦敦和其他大城市的家庭旅行。
 
"They assumed that if I wanted to live in a big city"—which was true—"that also meant I wanted to break away from the values of my childhood, since most cities are overwhelmingly secular," Jinger writes. She also suspects the critics singled her out because they thought her name was "funny."
“他们认为，如果我想住在大城市”——这是真的——“那也意味着我想摆脱童年的价值观，因为大多数城市都非常世俗，”静格写道。她还怀疑评论家挑出她是因为他们认为她的名字“很有趣”。
 
She found the "Free Jinger" sentiment "caring" but misguided, as she didn't see being able to do whatever she wanted without considering how it went against her or her family's religion to be her idea of "free."
她发现“自由静儿”的情绪是“关怀”的，但却被误导了，因为她认为在不考虑她或她家人的宗教信仰如何违背她的“自由”观念的情况下，她无法做任何她想做的事。
 

 
Jinger Wasn't Even Honest With Her Diary
静儿甚至对她的日记都不诚实
 
With Duggarmania in full swing, 14-year-old Jinger's stolen diary wound up listed on eBay for $100,000 in 2008.
随着 Duggarmania 的全面展开，2008 年 14 岁的 Jinger 被盗的日记以 100,000 美元的价格在 eBay 上挂牌。
 
However, she writes, the girl who tried to sell it—after taking it from Jinger's room during a visit to the Duggar home—ended up returning it a few weeks later, perhaps having realized "there was hardly anything shocking for the thief to turn into a profit.
然而，她写道，试图出售它的女孩——在拜访 Duggar 家时从 Jinger 的房间里拿走它——最终在几周后归还了它，也许是意识到“小偷几乎没有什么令人震惊的东西转向变成利润。
 
And Jinger still has it to this day, the journal serving as a time capsule of the person she wasn't.
直到今天，静儿还保留着它，这本日记充当了她不是那个人的时间胶囊。
 
"When I read it today, I'm struck by what is missing," she writes. "I was afraid to say the wrong thing; to confess my inner desires even in a diary. I didn't express any of the feelings and fears that were a constant part of my childhood. Rather than serving as a true chronicle of Jinger Duggar's inner life, my diary was yet another place of performance: a tool where I practiced projecting the version of myself that I wanted everyone—parents, siblings, friends, or fans of the show—to see."
“当我今天读到它时，我对缺失的内容感到震惊，”她写道。“我害怕说错话；即使在日记中也不敢坦白我内心的渴望。我没有表达任何童年时常有的感受和恐惧。而不是作为 Jinger Duggar 的真实编年史内心生活，我的日记是另一个表演场所：我练习投射自己的工具，我希望每个人——父母、兄弟姐妹、朋友或节目的粉丝——都能看到。”
 
Jinger was afraid of a lot as a kid—thunder, tornadoes, terminal illnesses striking her family, car crashes, snakes—"but," she writes, "by the time I was fourteen, my worst, most all-consuming fear was the fear of what others thought of me."
静儿小时候害怕很多东西——雷声、龙卷风、袭击她家人的绝症、车祸、蛇——“但是，”她写道，“到我十四岁的时候，我最害怕、最彻底的恐惧是害怕别人对我的看法。”
 

 
Battling an Eating Disorder in Her Early Teens
在她十几岁的时候就与饮食失调作斗争
 
"Convinced my body was an embarrassment, I ate very little," Jinger writes. "I'd go days hardly consuming any calories. My weight dropped, but my body image didn't improve. It almost never does in those situations because the weight isn't the problem. No matter how thin I was, I wasn't satisfied with the way I looked. This obsession with body image was terrible for my physical health and it certainly wasn't good for me spiritually."
“确信我的身体是一种尴尬，我吃得很少，”静格写道。“我会好几天几乎不消耗任何卡路里。我的体重下降了，但我的身体形象没有改善。在那些情况下它几乎从来没有改善，因为体重不是问题。无论我有多瘦，我都不是'对我的外表不满意。这种对身体形象的痴迷对我的身体健康很糟糕，而且在精神上肯定对我不利。”
 
She credits her mom, Michelle Duggar—who, Jinger writes, told her that she, too, had struggled with eating issues when she was her daughter's age—for helping her get out of that toxic headspace and make sure she was eating balanced meals and not exercising excessively. (Michelle spoke in 2014 about battling bulimia as a teen, having given her blessing to her daughters to share her story in their 2014 book Growing Up Duggar.)
她认为她的妈妈Michelle Duggar ——Jinger 写道，她告诉她，在她女儿这个年纪时，她也曾与饮食问题作斗争——帮助她摆脱了有毒的顶空，并确保她饮食均衡，不要过度运动。（米歇尔在 2014 年谈到了作为青少年与贪食症作斗争，并祝福她的女儿们在她们 2014 年的书 Growing Up Duggar中分享她的故事。）
 
"I felt no judgment from her, just love and care," Jinger recalls. "I knew I was going to be okay because she had been through it."
“我没有感受到她的评判，只有爱和关怀，”静儿回忆道。“我知道我会没事的，因为她已经经历过了。”
 
 

 
The Pressures of Courtship
求爱的压力
 
Jinger recalls that "from the moment" she and Jeremy started talking on the phone, "there was an expectation of marriage."
Jinger 回忆说，“从那一刻起”她和 Jeremy 开始通电话，“就有了结婚的期待。”
 
But such was the nature of courtship, which was one of the social rituals mandated by the Institute in Basic Life Principles, whose teachings Jinger grew up with and touted alongside sisters Jana, Jill and Jessa in their 2014 book Growing Up Duggar.
但这就是求爱的本质，这是基本生活原则研究所规定的社会仪式之一，Jinger 的教义与 Jana、Jill 和 Jessa 姐妹一起长大，并在她们 2014 年的书 Growing Up Duggar 中受到吹捧。
 
She and Jeremy, also a Christian with a reformed-Baptist pastor father but not a member of IBLP, were not set up by her parents—and the Duggars initially didn't approve of him, so it took five months before their courtship commenced. (Jeremy told Us Weekly in 2021 that Jim Bob Duggar sent him sent him a 50-page questionnaire that included some "intensely personal questions" to get a read on the young man.)
她和杰里米也是基督徒，父亲是改革宗浸信会牧师，但不是 IBLP 的成员，他们不是由她的父母建立的——达格夫妇最初不赞成他，所以他们花了五个月才开始求爱。 （杰里米在 2021 年告诉《美国周刊》，吉姆·鲍勃·杜加 (Jim Bob Duggar) 给他发了一份 50 页的问卷，其中包括一些“非常私人的问题”，以了解这个年轻人。）
 
Afraid of having a "dating spirit" that would lead to impure thoughts or otherwise astray from her righteous path, Jinger recalls not even telling her sisters she liked Jeremy—so when he asked Jessa if Jinger had talked about him...she hadn't.
害怕有一种“约会精神”会导致思想不纯或偏离正道，Jinger 回忆说甚至没有告诉她的姐妹她喜欢 Jeremy——所以当他问 Jessa Jessa 是否 Jinger 谈过他时……她没有。吨。

 
Quite the Catch
相当不错
 
Before Jinger met Jeremy, she writes, "at least 20" and maybe as many as 26 guys asked her dad for permission to court her—including five in one week. But she didn't think all that much of it.
在 Jinger 遇见 Jeremy 之前，她写道，“至少有 20 个”，也许多达 26 个男人向她父亲请求允许向她求爱——包括一周内有 5 个。但她并没有想那么多。
 
"I hadn't shared more than a passing hello with any of them," she recalls. "I'm guessing a few confused me with one of my sisters. Several had seen the show and decided they wanted to court a Duggar girl. A similar number of guys were interested in each of my sisters."
“我只和他们中的任何一个打过招呼，”她回忆道。“我猜有些人把我和我的一个姐妹弄混了。有几个人看过这个节目，并决定要追求一个 Duggar 女孩。同样数量的人对我的每个姐妹都感兴趣。”
 
Jim Bob would ask Jinger and her sisters what they thought and, if they said no, he'd duly relay the message. "I'm not going to lie; it was kind of nice to tell my dad, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' and not have to tell the suitors themselves," she writes.
吉姆鲍勃会问静儿和她的姐妹们他们的想法，如果他们说不，他会及时传达信息。“我不会撒谎；很高兴告诉我父亲，‘谢谢，但不用了’，而不必自己告诉求婚者，”她写道。
 
Jeremy—a college-educated former professional soccer player from Pennsylvania ("He was unlike the previous guys in every way," she writes)—was the last guy to ever ask Jim Bob about courting Jinger. (And Jeremy finally got the answer he was hoping for "after five months of almost weekly conversations with my dad.")
杰里米——一位来自宾夕法尼亚州的受过大学教育的前职业足球运动员（“他在各方面都不像以前的人，”她写道）——是最后一个问吉姆鲍勃关于追求金格的人。（杰里米终于得到了他希望的答案，“在与我父亲进行了五个月几乎每周一次的谈话之后。”）

 
Jessa and Ben Came Through in a Big Way for Jinger and Jeremy
Jessa 和 Ben 对 Jinger 和 Jeremy 的帮助很大
 
Jinger writes of how much she admired the relationship older sister Jessa had with her eventual husband Ben Seewald, whom she married in 2014. In fact, Jinger met her future spouse at an IBLP conference in Big Sandy, Texas, in 2015 not because Jeremy was a member, but because he was there to visit Ben and Jessa.
Jinger 写道，她非常钦佩姐姐 Jessa 与她最终的丈夫Ben Seewald的关系，她于 2014 年结婚。事实上，  Jinger 在 2015 年德克萨斯州大桑迪的 IBLP 会议上遇到了她未来的配偶，并不是因为 Jeremy一个成员，但因为他是来拜访本和杰萨的。
 
Once the younger couple were courting, per the book, Ben and Jessa "pulled some strings" to get Jeremy on Jinger's mission trip to Honduras and El Salvador so they could spend serious time together and see if they really had chemistry.
根据书中的说法，一旦这对年轻夫妇开始求爱，Ben 和 Jessa“牵线搭桥”让 Jeremy 参加 Jinger 前往洪都拉斯和萨尔瓦多的宣教之旅，这样他们就可以认真地在一起，看看他们是否真的有化学反应。
 
Ben and Jessa also facilitated Jeremy's surprise visit to Arkansas when they took Jinger out to a Mexican restaurant and, lo and behold, Jeremy showed up with their tray of food. "I'll never forget the shock," Jinger writes, recalling "the sweet visit and at least a few days where we could talk in person rather than over the phone."
Ben 和 Jessa 带 Jinger 去一家墨西哥餐馆时，杰里米出人意料地访问了阿肯色州，这也促成了杰里米的意外之行，你瞧，杰里米端着他们的食物托盘出现了。“我永远不会忘记那种震惊，”静格写道，回忆起“甜蜜的拜访，至少有几天我们可以面对面交谈，而不是通过电话交谈。”
 
Ultimately they courted for three months and were engaged for another three before marrying on Nov. 5, 2016. They're now parents to daughters Felicity, 4, and Evangeline Jo, 2.  
最终，他们追求了三个月，并在 2016 年 11 月 5 日结婚前又订婚了三个月。他们现在是 4 岁的女儿 Felicity和2 岁的Evangeline Jo的父母。  
 

 
Disentangling From IBLP
脱离 IBLP
 
Jinger calls IBLP founder Bill Gothard "one of those dangerous teachers" who purports to be preaching the truth about Christianity but is actually teaching "a religion of their own creation."
Jinger 称 IBLP 创始人Bill Gothard为“那些危险的教师之一”，他们声称宣扬基督教的真理，但实际上是在教导“他们自己创造的宗教”。
 
She once thought he was a "modern-day prophet," she writes, recalling how in one of many thank you notes she wrote him after a visit to IBLP headquarters or a conference, she thanked him for her very existence because he had taught his flock to procreate until they physically couldn't anymore. "If my parents had decided to stop having children when
她曾经认为他是一位“现代先知”，她写道，回忆起她在访问 IBLP 总部或会议后写给他的许多感谢信中的一封，她感谢他的存在，因为他教会了他成群结队地生育，直到他们身体不能再生育为止。“如果我的父母像大多数美国人那样决定停止生育
 
most Americans did, I wouldn't exist," Jinger reasoned at the time.
，我就不会存在了，”金格当时推理道。
 
IBLP and Gothard did not respond to E! News' requests for comment.
IBLP 和 Gothard 没有回应 E！新闻的评论请求。
 
 
Severe Social Anxiety
严重的社交焦虑
 
When Jinger first moved to Texas to be with Jeremy, she started feeling anxious everywhere she went, including church. Determined to meet people, she asked a fellow parishioner to brunch and "cried right up until I left for the restaurant," she writes. Jinger made it through the meal but recalls feeling as if she could have burst into tears at any moment.
当 Jinger 第一次搬到得克萨斯州与 Jeremy 在一起时，她到处都感到焦虑，包括教堂。决心与人会面，她请一位教区居民吃早午餐，然后“一直哭到我离开去餐厅，”她写道。静儿熬过了这顿饭，但回忆起自己的感觉，好像随时都会掉下眼泪。
 
And she did start crying another time when a woman at church just started asking some friendly questions in an effort to get to know her.
还有一次，当教堂里的一位女士开始问一些友好的问题以努力了解她时 ，她 确实 开始哭了。
 
"The pressure of figuring out what to say, combined with the fear of saying the wrong thing, became overwhelming," she writes. "I couldn't keep back the tears...Moments like that almost didn't feel real. They were more like out-of-body experiences. They weren't who I thought I was."
“弄清楚该说什么的压力，再加上害怕说错话，变得势不可挡，”她写道。“我忍不住流下了眼泪……这样的时刻几乎感觉不到真实。它们更像是灵魂出窍的体验。它们不是我想的那样。”
 
Jinger realized that she'd done almost everything in her life either as part of a familial unit, with at least one parent or sibling around her at all times, or with her husband, and was "rarely in isolated social settings," she writes. When she was with a person she'd just met, "I didn't know who I was, either, so I'd try to adapt to the other person's personality—or I'd freeze."
Jinger 意识到她在生活中所做的几乎所有事情都是作为家庭单位的一部分，至少有一个父母或兄弟姐妹始终在她身边，或者与她的丈夫一起，并且“很少在孤立的社交环境中，”她写道. 当她和一个她刚认识的人在一起时，“我也不知道自己是谁，所以我会努力适应对方的性格——否则我会僵住。”
 
She ties it to the impression she got from Gothard's seminars, that it was a woman's "job to be agreeable and encouraging. Many of the women I interacted with seemed to make a point to avoid any topic that might lead to conflict. They didn't want to express their opinions. They didn't want to talk about their own likes and dislikes; interests and hobbies."
她将这与她从 Gothard 的研讨会上得到的印象联系起来，即女性的“工作是令人愉快和鼓舞人心。与我互动的许多女性似乎都强调要避免任何可能导致冲突的话题。她们没有”不想表达他们的意见。他们不想谈论自己的好恶；兴趣和爱好。
 
On one occasion, she remembers, she found a piece of glass in her food at a restaurant and didn't even tell the staff. "I smiled and said it was no big deal," Jinger writes. "That's a small example of an attitude I carried with me and struggle with to this day. I assume that I must be happy and see everything in a positive light, even if there's glass in my food."
她记得有一次，她在一家餐馆的食物中发现了一块玻璃，甚至没有告诉工作人员。“我笑着说这没什么大不了的，”静儿写道。“这是我一直坚持并为之奋斗至今的态度的一个小例子。我认为我必须快乐并且以积极的眼光看待一切，即使我的食物中有玻璃。”
 
This Is Not Me and What You're Saying Isn't You
这不是我，你说的不是你
 
Gothard preached that if wives were too opinionated, their husbands would seek out other women "for support and submission," Jinger writes.
哥特哈德鼓吹说，如果妻子太固执己见，她们的丈夫就会寻求其他女性“支持和服从”，金格写道。
 
She couldn't help but have that and the rest of the IBLP leader's teachings on her mind as she embarked on marriage to Jeremy, and she admits that during their first year in Laredo as husband and wife she "acted like I was the one responsible for my husband's happiness and fidelity to me. For my entire life, I'd been taught that when I married, I needed to perform for my husband."
当她开始与 Jeremy 结婚时，她情不自禁地想到了这一点以及 IBLP 领导人的其他教导，她承认，在他们作为夫妻在拉雷多的第一年，她“表现得好像我是负责人为了我丈夫的幸福和对我的忠诚。在我的一生中，我一直被教导说，当我结婚时，我需要为我的丈夫表演。”

In turn, "I never expressed an opinion" that year, she writes, even though Jeremy obviously wanted to know what she was thinking, telling her more than once, "'Jing, you're not a Stepford wife.'"
反过来，那一年“我从未表达过意见”，她写道，尽管杰里米显然想知道她在想什么，不止一次告诉她，“‘静，你不是 Stepford 的妻子。’”
 
To which she replied the first time, "What's a Stepford wife?"
她第一次回答说：“什么是 Stepford 的妻子？”
 
 
Remembering "Gothard's Girls"
记住“哥达的女孩”
 
Jinger recalls laughing with her sisters at the mall while trying on a blonde wig as they joked about "being ready for headquarters."
静儿回忆起在购物中心和姐妹们试戴金色假发时一起笑，她们开玩笑说“准备好去总部了”。

Meaning, she writes, that the blonde hair made them look like "Gothard's Girls": Girls and young women, most with "long hair, big smiles and petite body types," many from single-parent homes "without a father or grandfather to guide and protect them," who worked at IBLP headquarters in Hillsdale, Ill.
她写道，意思是金发使她们看起来像“哥达女孩”：女孩和年轻女性，大多数“长发、灿烂的笑容和娇小的身材”，许多来自单亲家庭“没有父亲或祖父指导和保护他们，”他在伊利诺伊州希尔斯代尔的 IBLP 总部工作。
 
"For us, this wasn't more than an odd quirk of our little world," Jinger writes. "Now, after everything that's happened over the past 10 years, I realize the joke wasn't funny."
“对我们来说，这只不过是我们这个小世界的一个怪癖，”静格写道。“现在，在过去 10 年发生的一切之后，我意识到这个笑话并不好笑。”
 
Gothard would invite a girl to talk, she explains, and after awhile he'd "rub the women's feet and hold their hands, both of which were strictly forbidden between a man and woman who were not married. A lot of Gothard's girls have said that Gothard would touch them inappropriately or engage in explicitly sexual activity. Ten of those ladies filed a lawsuit against Gothard in 2016."
Gothard 会邀请一个女孩谈话，她解释说，过了一会儿，他会“搓女人的脚并握住她们的手，这两种行为在未婚男女之间都是严格禁止的。Gothard 的很多女孩都说Gothard 会不恰当地触摸她们或从事明显的性活动。其中 10 名女士在 2016 年对 Gothard 提起诉讼。”
 
He resigned from the IBLP board in March 2014 amid a review by outside legal counsel into allegations he had sexually harassed and molested women. In June 2014, IBLP stated the investigation determined Gothard "acted in an inappropriate manner" but didn't commit criminal acts. (Gothard said in a since-deleted statement, "My actions of holding of hands, hugs, and touching of feet or hair with young ladies crossed the boundaries of discretion and were wrong.")
2014 年 3 月，在外部法律顾问对他性骚扰和猥亵妇女的指控进行审查后，他从 IBLP 董事会辞职。2014 年 6 月，IBLP 表示，调查确定 Gothard“行为不当”，但并未实施犯罪行为。（Gothard 在一份后来被删除的声明中说，“我与年轻女士握手、拥抱、触碰脚或头发的行为超出了自由裁量权的界限，是错误的。”）
 
The 10 plaintiffs dropped their complaint in 2018, but said in a joint statement to Recovering Grace, "We want to make it abundantly clear that by dismissing our lawsuit at this time, we are not recanting our experiences or dismissing the incalculable damage that we believe Gothard has done by his actions and certain teachings. Nor are we disregarding that his organization chose to protect themselves instead of those under their care."
10 名原告在 2018 年放弃了他们的申诉，但在Recovering Grace 的一份联合声明中表示，“我们想非常清楚地表明，此时驳回我们的诉讼，我们并不是要放弃我们的经历，也不是要否认我们认为造成的无法估量的损失哥特哈德通过他的行为和某些教义做到了。我们也没有忽视他的组织选择保护自己而不是他们所照顾的人。
 
Gothard, now 88, has denied any wrongdoing, stating on his website that the same women who accused him of sexual misconduct "had written marvelous letters of gratefulness to me during those 20 years, thanking me for 'being their best friend,' 'bringing about the turning point" in their lives, and "giving them help and encouragement" that they will always remember. There was never a hint of harassment because there was none."
现年 88 岁的 Gothard 否认有任何不当行为，并在他的网站上 表示，那些指控他性行为不端的女性“在这 20 年里给我写了很多感谢信，感谢我‘成为她们最好的朋友’，‘带来关于他们人生的转折点”，以及他们永远铭记的“给他们帮助和鼓励”。从来没有骚扰的迹象，因为根本没有。”
 

 
Praying for Josh Duggar
为乔什·达格祈祷
 
Jim Bob and Michelle's eldest child, Josh Duggar, 34, is currently serving a 12-year prison sentence after being convicted in December 2021 of receiving child pornography.
吉姆·鲍勃 (Jim Bob) 和米歇尔 (Michelle) 的长子Josh Duggar，现年 34 岁，在 2021 年 12 月因接收儿童色情制品 而被定罪后，目前正在服刑12 年。
 
Josh was also found guilty of one count of possessing child porn, but that verdict was vacated before sentencing. The father of seven with wife Anna Duggar pleaded not guilty at trial and appealed his remaining conviction in December in hopes of getting a new trial. The 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals is scheduled to hear arguments Feb. 16.
乔什还被判一项持有儿童色情片罪名成立，但该判决在宣判前被撤销。七个孩子的父亲和妻子Anna Duggar在审判中 不认罪，并在 12 月对他剩余的定罪提出上诉，希望获得新的审判。第 8 届美国巡回上诉法院定于2 月 16 日听取辩论。
 
Jinger writes that she hasn't seen or spoken to her brother in almost two years but continues to pray for him.
静儿写道，她已经将近两年没有见过她的哥哥，也没有和她说过话，但她继续为他祈祷。
 
"One of the hardest realities in my life is that my brother Josh very publicly displayed some of the same hypocrisy as Gothard," she writes. "He used his platform, and even his job at the Family Research Council, to promote some of the same ideas Gothard taught. But while he looked the part in so many ways, the true Josh appears to be much different. He was living a lie."
“我生命中最艰难的现实之一是，我的兄弟乔希非常公开地表现出与哥达一样的虚伪，”她写道。“他利用自己的平台，甚至是他在家庭研究委员会的工作，来推广 Gothard 教授的一些相同想法。但是，尽管他从很多方面来看这个角色，但真正的乔希似乎大不相同。他过着说谎。”