恋爱物语4个方法教你对讨厌的人说"No"

 

【视频文本】

How To Be Assertive

Learn how to take control of your life by effectively communicating with others. Confrontation doesn't have to be unpleasant; it can be a vehicle in which you get to broadcast your feelings and thoughts to someone, if done properly.

Step 1: Confront The Issue（提出反对）
Start off with showing empathy for the other person's feelings. This shows them that you understand their point of view and you're not trying to pick a fight. Then describe your unhappiness. This tells them why you need something to change. Finally, state exactly what you would like to see change in the other person's behavior.

Step 2: Communication Dos And Don'ts（习惯用“行”或“不行”）
Don't lose your temper. Keep your voice calm and maintain a pleasant but serious facial expression. Don't accuse, judge or blame the other person; instead, focus on the problem you're having. Use your body to communicate, too; stand or sit up tall and maintain eye contact. Use "I" statements - for example, "I'd like to have some more time to get ready", instead of "You're always rushing me". Express ownership of your thoughts and feelings.

Step 3: Stay On Track（一直关注）
There are several ways the confrontation can get off track. Be sure to remain focused on the problem at hand. If you need to, keep repeating yourself until the other person gets what you're requesting. This is called the broken record technique. If the content of the argument shifts, slow down and re-evaluate. The real problem may be something bigger than the immediate topic.

Step 4: Just Say No（坚持说“no”）
Passive people commonly have trouble saying no. If you can't say no, you're not in charge of your life. Realize you do have a choice and if you say no, it doesn't make you a bad person and the other person will accept it as your answer. Decide on your position before you speak and if you need some time to think about it, it's OK to ask for more time. Finally, don't apologize for saying no, remember, it's your right to do so.

【词汇讲解】

1.Assertive adj. 断定的，过分自信的

如："This is a very courageous, assertive Speaker, who is not unwilling when be identifies something he wants to do to put his reputation on the line, " said Mr. [Jim] Wright's chief lieutenant, Thomas A. Foley, ... "He likes to go out and grab the nettles." 
赖特[议长]麾下主将福莱说，"这是一位非常勇敢、直言不讳的议长，要做的事，即令危及名声，也在所不辞。"... "他喜欢去做棘手的事。"

2.Confrontation n. 对审，面对面，面对

如：Even a limited confrontation can escalate into a major war. 
即使是局部的对抗也可能扩大成一场大战。

A confrontation between opposing groups in which each attempts to harm or gain power over the other, as with bodily force or weapons. 
战斗对立双方之间的针锋相对，每方都企图伤害或统治对方，如用暴力或武力

3.empathy n. 移情作用，共鸣，执着投入

如：There is a strange empathy between the old lady and her grandson. 
老妇人和她孙子间有种莫名其妙的心灵相通的感觉。

4.ownership n. 所有权

如：The family possessed documents that proved their right to ownership. 
这家人持有可以证明他们享有所有权的文件。

Socialist policy favours public ownership of the coal industry. 
社会主义的政策有利於在煤炭工业中推行公有制。

5.have trouble 在 ... 有困难

如：Students growing up from nursery school to college have trouble dealing with realities. 
从幼儿园到大学的大学生在如何应付现实生活上都存在困难。

If you leave your bicycle out at night, you'll soon have trouble with rust. 
如果你把自行车放在露天过夜，要不了多入它就会生锈，那你就苦了