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散文佳作108篇 第14期:哀互生 Mourning for Husheng

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哀互生

Mourning for Husheng

朱自清

Zhu Ziqing

三月里刘熏宇君来信,说互生病了,而且是没有希望的病,医生说只好等日子了。四月底在《时事新报》上见到立达学会的通告,想不到这么快互生就殁了!后来听说他病中的光景,那实在太惨;为他想,早点去,少吃些苦头,也未尝不好的。但丢下立达这个学校,这班朋友,这班学生,他一定不甘心,不瞑目!

In March I heard from Mr. Liu Xunyu that Husheng was sick and hopelessly sick at that. Thedoctor said there was nothing he could do but to trait for the day to arrive. Toward the end ofApril, I came across an obituary issued by Lida Association in the newspaper Current Affairs.How quickly the day had arrived! Later, when I learned how he had suffered during his illness, Ithought it was too miserable. From his point of view, however, his passing away was not a badthing after all, because he suffered less by going earlier. But it must have been very hard forhim to close his eyes and resign himself to the fact that he was leaving his Lida School, hisfriends and his students behind.

互生最叫我们纪念的是他做人的态度。他本来是一副铜筋铁骨,黑皮肤衬着那一套大布之衣,看去像个乡下人。他什么苦都吃得,从不晓得享用,也像乡下人。他心里那一团火,也像乡下人。那一团火是热,是力,是光。由他不爱多说话,但常常微笑;那微笑是自然的,温暖的。在他看,人是可以互相爱着的,除了一些成见已深,不愿打开窗户说亮话。的。他对这些人却有些憎恶,不肯假借一点颜色。世界上只有能憎的人才能爱;爱憎没有定见,只是毫无作为的脚色。公互生觉得青年成见还少,希望最多;所以愿意将自己的生命一滴不剩而献给他们,让爱的宗教在他们中间发荣滋长,让他们都走向新世界去。互生不好发议论,只埋着头干干干,是儒家的真正精神。我和他并没有深谈过,但从他的行事看来,相信我是认识他的。

What wag most memorable about Husheng was his attitude toward life. He was as strong asa man of steel, his dark complexion set off by clothes of coarse cloth, looking like someonefrom the countryside. He could withstand any hardship and never sought ease and comfort.In this respect he was like a countryman, too. Again like a countryman, he had a heart as warnsas fire radiating warmth, power and light. He was a man of few words, but of all smiles. His smilewas natural and friendly. In his view, people could love each other, except those with deepprejudices and those who could not bring themselves out in the open. He hated these people,and to them he wouldn't show anything like gentleness. In this world, only those who couldhate could love. Those who did not know what to love and what to hate were useless people.Hussheng thought that young people had little prejudice but lots of future promise, so he waswilling to devote his life to them without reservation, letting the religion of love grow andflourish among them so that they could all go to a new world. Husheng was not fond of talkingtoo much, instead, he put his mind on work, and work, and nothing but work--an embodimentof the Confucian spirit. Though I never had a chance to talk with him very closely, I wasconvinced that I understood him from the way he carried himself and conducted matters.

互生办事的专心,少有人及得他。他办立达便饮食坐卧只惦着立达,再不想别的。立达好像他的情人,他的独子。他性情本有些猖介,但为了立达,也常去看一班大人先生,更常去看那些有钱可借的老板之类。他东补西凑地为立达筹款子,还要跑北京,跑南京。有一回他本可以留学去,但丢不下立达,到底没有去。他将生命献给立达,立达也便是他的生命。他办立达这么多年,并没有让多少人知道他个人的名字,他早忘记了自己。现在他那样壮键的身子到底为立达牺牲了。他殉了自己的理想,是有意义的。只是这理想刚在萌芽;我们都该想想,立达怎样才可不死呢?立达不死,互生其实也便不死了。

Few people 1 knew of were as devoted as Husheng. When he was running Lida School, all histhoughts were on the school, whatever he did. Lida was like his sweetheart, his only son. Hewas by nature an honest man, but for the sake of Lida, he had to go and see important people,bosses and others from whom he hoped to borrow money. To raise funds, he had to run manyplaces, even as far as Beijing and Nanjing. Once he could have gone to study abroad, but he didnot go in the end because he could not tear himself away from the school. He had sacrificed hislife for Lida and Iida had become his life too. Though he was head of the school for so manyyears, he never tried to make his name known to the public. He had forgotten about himselfaltogether. Now he had worked himself to death for Lida despite his robust constitution. Hehad died for his ideal-a meaningful death. His ideal was merely beginning to bud. Now weshould all think about one question: what must we do to keep Lida alive? If Lida is kept alive,Husheng lives on.


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