如何应付难缠的老板

Dear Annie: Your column about staying in one's current job (for now) struck a chord with me, because I too am stuck working for a boss who drives me crazy. I've had a couple of other job offers, but I'm only 18 months away from being vested in this company's defined-benefit pension plan, and -- partly because I never stayed anywhere long enough to get vested before -- I think it would be smart to stick around at least until then.

亲爱的安妮：您关于(目前)《坚守岗位不跳槽的4个理由》 的文章引起了我的共鸣，因为我现在的老板快把我逼疯了。我也收到过其他的工作邀请，可再有18个月，我就能被纳入这家公司的固定收益退休金计划，所以我认为至少在此之前，我应该留下来。当然，这在一定程度上是因为，我在其他地方从未等到能享受这种福利就离开了。

The problem is, I report to someone who is a classic example of the Peter Principle -- he's been promoted beyond his ability -- and he's making mistakes that are costing the company money and starting to damage our whole team's reputation with higher-ups and customers. He also has no sense of boundaries and emails or texts me at all hours of the day and night, and on weekends, over and over again, to ask about things that are not urgent at all. Do you have any suggestions for me? --Counting the Hours

可问题在于，我的上司是“彼得原则”的典型代表——他的地位与他的能力完全不符——他犯过的错误不仅让公司蒙受了损失，也破坏了整个团队在高层和客户当中的信誉。而且，他没有一丝一毫的界线感，不分昼夜的给我发邮件或者短信，连周末也不放过，一遍遍地问一些并不紧急的事情。您能给我一些建议吗?——度日如年的人

Dear Counting: You probably won't be surprised to hear that about 75% of people who quit their jobs do so because they can't stand their bosses, according to a recent Gallup poll of more than a million U.S. employees.

亲爱的C：盖洛普民意调查(Gallup)最近对一百万美国员工进行了调查，结果显示，辞掉工作的人中，有75%是因为忍受不了顶头上司。听到这些，你应该不会感到惊讶了吧?

That's unfortunate, says Jayne Mattson, a senior vice president and executive coach at Boston-based career development firm Keystone Associates, because a little honest communication might go a long way toward fixing at least some of what bugs you. "So many people don't ever have a candid conversation with their boss about what's wrong," she notes. "Instead of trying to make the relationship better, they just leave -- and, too often, repeat the same mistake in their next job."

波士顿职业发展公司凯斯通联合公司(Keystone Associates)高级副总裁兼高管导师杰恩•马特森称，这种情况非常可惜，因为只要一点真诚的沟通，就能解决你的一些烦恼。她说：“对于上司所犯的错误，许多人从来不会进行坦诚的交流。他们不会努力改善与上司的关系，而是选择离开——而通常情况下，他们在下一份工作当中也会重复同样的错误。”

In short, maybe you need to learn to manage your boss. "There are lots of things you can do to make yourself happier," says Mattson. "If you manage your boss well, he or she won't even realize you're doing it. You'll just get points for being really helpful." The key, she explains, is to get what you want by emphasizing how it would benefit him.

简而言之，你或许需要学会如何管理你的上司。马特森说：“要让自己更快乐，你可以做很多事情。如果你管理上司的方法得当，他或她甚至都不会有任何感觉。而你也会因为对上司有所帮助而获得加分。”她解释道，关键是通过强调他能获得哪些好处来得到你自己想要的东西。

First, let's talk about those incessant texts and emails. About one-third (36%) of employees in a poll last month by consultants Right Management said they work for people who bombard them with emails after regular work hours, and another 15% complained of the same thing on weekends and vacations.

首先，来说一下不停发来的短信和邮件。睿仕管理咨询公司(Right Management)上个月进行的调查显示，约有三分之一(36%)的员工表示，上司在正常工作时间之外，依然用电子邮件对他们狂轰滥炸，另外有15%抱怨在周末和假期也有同样的遭遇。

It's easy to blame technology, and your boss's lack of boundaries, since both play a part, for sure -- but are you unwittingly encouraging these intrusions by answering them right away? "If you respond to every message as soon as you receive it, you're indicating that you're available," says Mattson. "Don't do that."

人们很容易把原因推到科技身上，而且你上司缺乏界线感，这确实是两个方面的原因——但你是否总是立刻回复，进而不经意中助长了这种做法?马特森说：“如果你收到每一条信息后便马上回复，这其实是在暗示‘我有空。’所以，以后不要这样做。”

Instead, wait until five or six of them have piled up in your inbox and then respond with a brief message of your own: "I see you have lots of questions about the Ostrich account. Let's meet first thing tomorrow morning (or Monday morning), when I can give you all the details, and discuss it." Then stop answering.

相反，要等到收件箱里积攒了五六封之后，再回复一条简短的信息：“我看到你有许多关于某某账户的问题。我们明天上午(或者周一上午)一早就来解决这个问题吧。我可以告诉你所有细节，然后我们可以讨论一下。”之后就不要再进行任何回复。

"When you do meet, mention that you aren't always available to reply right away," Mattson suggests. "Your boss may not even expect you to. Rather than assuming that an immediate answer is required, clarify what it is he actually wants." There's always a chance you'll be pleasantly surprised. Even if not, by declining to answer every time he pings you, you'll have politely but firmly established the boundaries your boss seems to lack.

马特森建议：“会面的时候，可以告诉对方，你并不是总有空马上回复他或她的信息。你的上司或许根本没指望你会马上回复。所以，不要认为必须立即回复，而是要弄清他真正想要的东西。”总有一天，你会收到惊喜。即便没有惊喜，拒绝在他每次发信息的时候都进行回复，你便可以坚定而又不失礼貌地确定了上司一直缺乏的界限。

Do this now, before you get any more ticked off about it, Mattson adds: "So many people suffer in silence for too long and then blow their stack. But if you have these calm, tactful conversations about relatively minor things, it builds a foundation of trust for when you have to tackle the really tough issues."

马上就这么做，不要再为此而大动肝火。马特森补充道：“许多人都在默默忍受，然后有一天突然爆发。但如果你能就这些相对次要的事情进行冷静的、有策略的谈话，便能在你与上司之间建立信任基础，更有利于你以后解决真正棘手的问题。”

One such issue, clearly: Those costly and reputation-tarnishing errors your boss has been making. "Does he know he's making these mistakes?" Mattson wonders. "Start by giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming he's unaware of the problem."

另外一个问题：你上司所犯的那些损失资金、损害信誉的错误。马特森问道：“他知道自己犯错了吗?首先要对他进行‘无罪推定’，假设他并不知道问题所在。”

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to point out what's going on without blaming anyone in particular. "Describe the errors in terms of the department or the team, and ask whether there's anything you can do to help prevent any more mistakes," Mattson says. "Instead of accusing the boss, make it more about the effect on the whole group. Above all, express concern for his reputation, as the leader, if the errors continue, and offer to help develop

你的任务(如果你愿意接受的话)是指出问题所在，但不要专门批评任何人。马特森说：“从部门或团队的角度来描述这些错误，同时询问自己能做些什么来帮助避免出现更多错误。不要指责上司，而是要多讨论一下它对于整个团队的影响。当然，要表达一下对上司信誉的担忧，作为领导者，如果持续犯错误必将影响他的声誉。同时主动提出帮助制定一些可行的解决方案。”

If this discussion leads nowhere, well, you did what you could. It's possible, though, that your boss knows things aren't going well and will react as if you had thrown him a much-needed life preserver -- which could be very nice for your own career, too. "If you really make it a priority to build a good rapport with this boss, and help him save face with higher-ups, who knows, you might even decide to stay beyond the next 18 months," Mattson says. It's worth a try.

就算讨论没有任何效果，至少你已经尽力了。但也有可能，你的老板认识到问题所在，还把你当成了他潜在的“救命恩人”—— 这对你的职业发展非常有益。马特森表示：“如果你真的把与老板和谐相处作为首要任务，同时帮他在高层面前保全了面子，在18个月后，你或许会选择继续留在这里，谁知道呢?”这值得一试。

Talkback: Have you ever had a difficult or incompetent boss? How did you deal with him or her? Leave a comment below.

反馈：你是否遇到过难相处的或不合格的上司?你是如何应对的?欢迎评论。