环球英语 — 473：Body Image: Running on Empty
Voice 1
Hello, I’m Ruby Jones.
Voice 2
And I’m Adam Navis. Welcome to Spotlight. This programme uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.
Voice 1
Allie Outram sat looking at the television. She was watching the greatest sports competition in the world – the Olympic Games in Beijing, China. Allie shouted her support for the runners on the television. But in her heart, she felt some regret. Allie could have been one of those runners. When she was at school, she was a great runner. She had even represented her country – the United Kingdom! And she had been a member of the national athletics team. So what had happened? What stopped Allie from competing at the very highest level?
Voice 2
From a young age, Allie showed a great natural gift for sport. And she showed great promise for the future. Sport was one area of her life where Allie felt in control. But at home, Allie struggled to feel a sense of belonging. Her father worked in a private boys’ school. He was responsible for taking care of sixty [60] boys during the school term – as well as his own family. But Allie found this very difficult. She felt that her father did not understand how to behave towards her because she was a girl. She explains:
Voice 3
“I spent a lot of my early years wishing I was a boy. I envied my younger brother...he was very thin and I decided to become like him to try and win my parents’ love...I did not feel a sense of belonging.”
Voice 1
As a young girl, Allie suffered a terrible incident. A man attacked Allie. He forced her to have sex with him. This event left Allie physically and mentally wounded. She felt dirty and full of shame. At the time she did not understand that she was not to blame. She says:
Voice 3
“I believed that I deserved to be hurt. I directed my anger towards myself for being such a ‘bad’ person – someone who had done nothing to stop that man treating me badly.”
Voice 1
Allie could not deal with the intense feelings of self–hatred. She began to use control of food as a way to ease her mind. From this, she developed an eating disorder. She says:
Voice 3
“I could not stop thinking about food – what to eat, what not to eat. I formed a relationship with it ... it made me feel better. This gave me a greater chance of protecting myself from being hurt by other people.”
Voice 2
Allie soon became expert in controlling what kind of food she ate. She felt pleasure in denying her body the energy it needed. She set herself targets of how much weight she could lose – and she always managed to reach them. Allie pushed herself in everything that she did – schoolwork, sport.
Voice 1
Allie decided to concentrate on running. It was a sport for individuals, not teams. So she could control her training programme herself. Allie describes her progress as a runner:
Voice 3
“I experienced success very quickly. This was because I was pushing myself hard. I had a will of iron and complete self–control. I was able to push my body to the limit.”
Voice 1
And Allie had found the perfect environment to hide her eating disorder. She explains:
Voice 3
“The athletics environment urges people to have little or no body fat. And it approves of people who exercise much more than they need to. This made it easier for me to continue having an eating disorder. And it made it more difficult for people to see that I had this disorder – and for it to be treated.”
Voice 2
All the time, Allie was getting thinner and thinner. At her worst point she weighed only thirty kilogrammes. And her condition reached crisis point. Her body seemed little more than skin and bone. It was painful for her to sit on hard surfaces. As she walked, she felt her knee bones rub together. Her skin was dry and her hair split easily. She could not keep warm. In fact, Allie was close to death.
Voice 1
Doctors told Allie she had to choose: eat, or die. Allie did start to eat – and eat and eat. The severe self-control disappeared. And Allie developed an eating condition called bulimia nervosa. She ate huge amounts of food – then made herself sick to get rid of it. Allie remembers:
Voice 3
“Bulimia seemed an easy solution at first. If I ate a lot, I made myself sick. If I hated the way my body looked, I exercised. But those ‘solutions’ drove me deeper into hopelessness, self–hatred and dependence.”
Voice 2
Allie spent 2 years in hospital receiving treatment for her eating disorders. She received all kinds of help from different health experts. But she still felt that no one had dealt with the reasons behind her sickness.
Over time, Allie met some people who had experienced similar health problems. She learned how they had dealt with their issues. These particular people told Allie it was because God had freed them. Their changed lives encouraged Allie. And she started to ask more and more questions about God.
She attended a series of studies at her local church. These studies explored the Christian faith and what it meant to be a follower of Jesus Christ. And slowly, Allie understood more and more about herself. She says:
Voice 3
“Slowly, I understood that I needed to be satisfied in my spirit. I prayed for healing and freedom. But for me it was going to be a process – not the miracle of an immediate change... I had found a place of belonging and I started believing. But the change in behaviour took a lot longer.”
Voice 1
Allie discovered a programme run by Mercy Ministries. This aid group specializes in helping young women with problems like Allie’s. And the group deals with every area of a woman’s needs: physical, spiritual and emotional. Allie spent two years working through her problems. She discovered that God loved her as his daughter. She understood that her true worth came from knowing him. And she experienced peace when she permitted God, not her, to control her life.
Voice 2
Now, Allie’s physical condition has greatly improved. And her life has new meaning and purpose. She says:
Voice 3
“We were made by God and for God. And until we understand this, life will not make sense. It is only in God that we discover our origin, our character, our meaning, our purpose... Every other path leads to a dead end.”
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