环球英语 — 565：Five Love Languages: Receiving Gifts
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Thank you for joining us for today's Spotlight program. I'm Marina Santee.
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And I'm Adam Navis. Spotlight uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.
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Dr. Gary Chapman likes to study different cultures. He has met people from all over the world. And he has seen one very important similarity. People in most cultures like to give and receive gifts. Gift giving is an important part of almost all cultures.
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In today's program, we continue our series on love languages. In an earlier program, we talked about the first two love languages. Today's Spotlight is on the third love language: gifts.
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Gift giving is especially important in Caribbean cultures. At one time, Dr. Chapman lived in the Dominica. There he met a man named Fred. Fred had lost a hand in a fishing accident. He could no longer fish for his job. Fred had a lot of time to sit and talk with Dr. Chapman. The two men became good friends.
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During one visit, Fred gave Dr. Chapman a gift. He gave him some fruit juice to drink. The juice came from a coconut. Coconuts produce sweet milk. Dr. Chapman described this experience.
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"Fred gave me the coconut and said 'This juice is for you.' The juice looked green, but I drank it. I drank all of it. I knew it was a gift of love. I was Fred's friend and to friends you give juice."
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At the end of Dr. Chapman's time in the Dominica Fred gave him another gift. It was a smooth stick found by the sea. Fred told Dr. Chapman that the stick had lived by the sea for a long time. Fred wanted Dr. Chapman to have it. Fred told Dr. Chapman that the smooth stick would help him remember Dominica. Years later, Dr. Chapman still has the stick. He said,
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"Even today when I look at that stick, I can almost hear the sound of the Caribbean waves. But it is not as much a reminder of Dominica as it is a reminder of love."
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In his book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman identifies five different ways to show love. These are the five love languages, according to Dr. Chapman.
Kind words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch
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Through many years of research Dr. Chapman has found that not all people feel and receive love in the same way. He believes that to really express love to others, you must know their love language. It is important to know how they most feel love.
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So far we have described the first two love languages: kind words of affirmation and quality time. Today we will describe the third: receiving gifts. Everyone likes to receive a gift from time to time. But some people like to receive gifts more than other people. Receiving gifts makes them feel the most loved.
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Dr. Chapman describes a gift as something that you can hold in your hand. It is something visual, something that you can always see. A gift is a visual symbol of love. Giving a gift can represent the love you feel for someone.
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Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to other people. Someone who enjoys receiving gifts can look at a gift every day. She can say, "Look, he was thinking about me when he chose this gift for me. He must really love me."
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Dr Chapman says that gifts can come in all sizes, colours and shapes. He says that you can purchase gifts, find gifts, or make the gifts yourself. It is true that some gifts may cost money. But, some gifts may cost no money at all. Dr. Chapman says,
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"To the individual whose main love language is receiving gifts, the cost of the gift will matter little."
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You may not feel right about giving gifts to express your love. You may not have received a lot of gifts yourself. Maybe you do not need gifts to feel loved by others. Maybe you do not know how to choose the perfect gift for someone else. But, that is because receiving gifts is not your love language.
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If you do not like the idea of expressing your love with gifts, Dr. Chapman says that you should learn to like it! That is because sometimes expressing love means doing things that you normally do not like to do. Dr Chapman says,
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"If you know someone whose main love language is receiving gifts, you can become a good gift giver. In fact, it is one of the easiest love languages to learn."
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Dr. Chapman suggests making a list. If you know someone who likes to receive gifts, make a list of the gifts she would like. This involves listening closely. You must listen to people to know the kinds of gifts they would like. Talking and listening to people will give you an idea about what they like.
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To people who like to receive gifts, Dr. Chapman suggests giving them gifts often. He says not to wait for a special time to give gifts. Many people receive gifts on holidays or on their birthday. These are special days for giving gifts. But, expressing love to someone who likes to receive gifts means giving them gifts on normal days too. That is, give gifts all the time!
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Remember, gifts do not have to cost money. You could pick a flower from the ground and give that. You may read something special in a magazine. You may think of a friend who might like to read it too. Cut it out, and give it to your friend as a gift. Gifts can be very simple. Dr. Chapman says that if a person's main love language is receiving gifts then,
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"...almost anything you give will be received as an expression of love."
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Dr. Chapman would like all people to remember that giving gifts to some people is very important. Giving gifts to them makes them feel loved. Dr. Chapman says that gifts need not cost money. For some individuals the worth of a gift has nothing to do with money. But it has everything to do with love!
