听力每日练习 listen 894 That's funny

1--Hello everyone, and welcome to open mic night! You’re in for a real treat as we’ve got a lot of great comics here with us tonight. First up, we have a very funny man coming straight from the state of Montana, Robert Hicks!
 
2--Thank you, everyone! Well, what a lovely crowd. You know, there’s nothing I love better than stand-up comedy! You know, I’ve been working on my routine for months now, and I’ve got some real zingers for you tonight. Let’s start out with some short jokes, how bout that? Where do you find a one legged dog?…… Where you left it.
 
2--Get it? Mmm Anyways... What do you call a sheep with no legs? …… A cloud !
 
2--Tough crowd... Alright, now you’re going to love this joke. It’s hilarious! What do cows do for entertainment? ……They rent moooovies ! moooovies
 
2--Okay, Okay, we’ve got a few hecklers in the audience, but this one is good! What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? ……DAM!
 
2--Okay, Last one! Why do gorillas have big nostrils? ……Because they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!
 
3--You suck! Get off the stage!
 
2--Thanks， everyone ！That was my time.
 
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注解：
 
1.comics漫画
2.comedy喜剧
3.entertainment娱乐
 
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译文：
 
1--大家好，欢迎来到现场自由演出。今晚你会大饱眼福，因为这里有很多很棒的喜剧演员。首先，有请来自蒙大拿州的Robert Hicks。
2--谢谢大家。多可爱的观众。我最喜欢站着为大家表演笑话。我一直表演自己的系列节目已经有几个月的时间了。今晚我为大家带来一些精致幽默的评说。先来些小笑话，这个如何？在什么地方你能找到一只腿的狗？……在你放狗的地方。
2--明白了。没有腿的羊叫什么？……云彩！
2--野蛮的观众。你们会喜欢这个笑话。它很逗乐。牛怎么娱乐？……他们出租电影。（牛的叫声和movie的发音很像）
2--好吧的，好的，观众中有些难缠的人，但是这个笑话很搞笑。当鱼撞上了墙，它会说什么？……它会说“该死的”。
2--好吧，最后一个。大猩猩为什么有大鼻孔？……因为他们的指头大。
3--太逊了，下去吧。
2--谢谢，大家。我表演完了。