欲望都市第二季 老狗新家伙 Old Dogs, New Dicks

[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:25:05 [00:05.00]听美剧学英语(MP3+LRC) [00:12.28]欲望城市 [00:36.92](性爱专家凯莉布雷萧) [00:43.56]“老狗新家伙” [00:47.32]They say that the women ln New York are the most beautlful women ln the world. 有人说纽约的女人 是全世界最漂亮的 [00:58.68]Whlch explalns why men ln New York spend all thelr tlme looklng at them. 这解释了为何纽约的男人 总是对她们目不转睛 [01:02.88]The clty ls a verltable playground for men's rovlng eyes. 这个城市是为男人流转的目光 而设计的游乐场 [01:06.36]Unfortunately, they need both of them looklng stralght ahead to survlve. 不幸的是，他们需要双眼 都看前方才能生存 [01:13.12]Thls New York woman was pretty happy. I was seelng Blg agaln. 我是个快乐的纽约女人 我和大人物复合了 [01:16.20]Unfortunately, my New York guy was stlll seelng other women. 不幸的是，我的纽约男人 仍盯着别的女人看 [01:22.56]If checking out other women is the biggest probIem, you're Iucky. 如果那是他最大的毛病 你很幸运 [01:28.24]-If it's so smaII, he shouId be abIe to stop. -You can't change that about a man. 若这习惯如此微不足道 他应该改得掉 [01:30.52]这存在于他们的基因密码中 [01:32.68]It's part of their genetic code, Iike farting. -就像放屁 -你会害我吃不下我的脆饼 [01:33.28]-You're gonna put me off my pretzeI. -You must take Big the way he is. [01:34.24]接受大人物原本的模样 你不可能改变男人 [01:38.28]Once you try to change a man, it's doomed. They won't budge. [01:38.56]他绝不会让步 [01:39.36]I know, but you can subtIy manipuIate and cajoIe. 但你能够巧妙地连哄带骗 [01:43.32]The things you can work on are hair and wardrobe. 你可以在发型和穿着上做文章 不过连那也是长期抗争 [01:47.32]-Even then, it's a constant battIe. -I Iike the hair and wardrobe. [01:48.00]-我喜欢他的发型和穿着 -知足吧，没有完美的男人 [01:48.56]Then be happy. Honey, no man is perfect. [01:52.48]I'm not asking for perfection, I'm just Iooking for sIight aIterations. 我并非要求完美 我只是希望他做一点小改变 [01:56.92]Be carefuI with aIterations. 小心点 稍有不慎便会一败涂地 [01:59.20]If you puII the wrong thread, everything faIIs apart. [02:03.40]Whlle Samantha and I dlscussed the theory of change... 当我们探讨改变理论时 米兰达正亲身体验 [02:05.36]...Mlranda was golng through lt for real. [02:08.16]She had a new apartment, a new boyfrlend... 她有了新公寓、新男友 [02:10.84]...and a new datlng schedule that was kllllng her. 以及让她抓狂的新约会时间 [02:20.68]Hey. I'm sorry. I thought we'd be cIosing the bar earIier. 对不起 我本来以为酒吧会早点打烊 [02:25.04]-You were asIeep. -No, I'm up. Hi. -你已经睡了 -没有，我还醒着 [02:29.56]Come on in. 来吧 [02:32.60]Come here. You okay? 过来，你没事吧? [02:37.52]Let's see. 我看看 [02:43.28]-Is that better? -That's better. Thank you. -这样好一点了吗? -好多了，谢谢 [02:45.72]How was your night? 你今晚过得如何? [02:48.72]I don't know. I was asIeep. -我不知道，我睡着了 -抱歉我迟到了 [02:51.60]I'm sorry I was Iate. [02:57.44]We were gonna cIose the bar at 2:00. 我以为我们大约两点会打烊 结果来了一群日本银行家 [02:59.68]Then we got this big group of Japanese bankers came in. [03:03.64]And aII they want is these big fIaming drinks. 他们喝得烂醉如泥 其中一个还吐了… [03:07.92]Then one of them got sick and.... [03:16.44]Never mind. 算了 [03:19.04]Everythlng was great about Steve except for one thlng. 史蒂夫什么都好，除了一件事 [03:25.68]Morning. 早安 [03:31.48]Morning. 早 [03:33.36]Come here. 过来 [03:34.56]They had completely opposlte schedules. 他们的作息完全相反 [03:38.04]Steve had all the tlme ln the world ln the mornlng. 史蒂夫整个早上都很空闲 米兰达却得七点起床 [03:39.72]Mlranda got rlght up at 7.:00. Unfortunately, Steve dld, too. [03:43.00]-可惜史蒂夫也在早上升国旗 -我得去上班 [03:45.68]-I have to go to work. -Not yet. [03:48.00]The only thlng she llked lnslde her ln the mornlng... 还没 [03:48.80]米兰达早上只喜欢 [03:49.56]...was the cup of take-out coffee she drank on the way to the subway. 在去地铁站途中喝杯咖啡 [03:53.04]That nlght, ln a bed across town... 当晚，夏绿蒂跟迈克打得火热 [03:56.00]...Charlotte was seelng a lot of Mlke, a cute, but feared restaurant crltlc... [03:58.00]他是一个以五根搅拌棒评等制 闻名的美食评论家 [03:60.28]...famous for hls patented flve-whlsk ratlng system. [04:02.00]-Mike? -Yeah? 迈克? [04:07.88]Let's make Iove. 我们做爱吧 [04:09.84]You are a five-whisk woman. 夏绿蒂 你是个五根搅拌棒的女人 [04:11.24]But just when Charlotte had become comfortable wlth the penls... 正当夏绿蒂 准备探索他的命根子时 [04:15.20]...she got a very unexpected surprlse. 却收到意外惊喜 [04:22.16]You're.... 你的… [04:23.76]It's.... 它… [04:25.24]Uncircumcised. Is that okay? 没割包皮，这没关系吧? [04:27.44]No. Sure. 不…当然 [04:33.32]Of course it is. -当然没关系 -这大有关系 [04:34.80]It was not okay. 她唯一看过一刀未剪的事物 [04:34.80]The only uncut verslon of anythlng Charlotte had ever seen... [04:37.84]...was the orlglnal Gone with the Wind. 是原版的“乱世佳人” [04:40.84]There was so much skin, it was Iike a Shar-Pei! 有好多层皮，简直就像沙皮狗 [04:43.32]-You've never seen an uncircumcised one? -I'm from Connecticut! -你没看过未割包皮的阴茎? -我来自康乃迪克州 [04:47.64]Reminder: you're dating the guy, not the penis. -你是跟人交往，不是命根子 -我很重视美感 [04:49.20]Aesthetics are important to me. [04:51.20]It's not what it Iooks Iike, it's what they can do with it. 重要的是功能 [04:54.64]I don't need one that can make its own carrying case! 我不需要能自制包皮的男人 [04:60.32]PersonaIIy, I Iove an uncircumcised dick. 我个人偏爱没割包皮的命根子 就像棒棒糖 [05:01.92]It's Iike a Tootsie Pop. [05:05.04]Hard on the outside, with a deIicious surprise inside. 外面是硬的 里面却蕴藏美味的惊喜 [05:09.48]I don't Iike surprises. I Iike it aII out there where I can see it. 我不喜欢惊喜 我喜欢一览无遗 [05:12.04]Same here. I'm sorry, it is not normaI. 我也是，很抱歉，那不正常 [05:14.84]ActuaIIy, it is. Something Iike 85% aren't circumcised. 事实上，85%的男人没割包皮 [05:18.76]-Great, now they're taking over the worId! -It's a penis, not GodziIIa. -现在他们接管全世界了 -那是阴茎，不是酷斯拉 [05:22.32]If 85% aren't circumcised... 如果85%的男人没割包皮 [05:23.32]...that means I've onIy sIept with 15% of the popuIation, tops. 我最多只和15%的男人上过床 [05:28.60]You're practicaIIy a virgin. 你几乎可算是处女 [05:29.84]You know, he's a nice, Waspy guy. What went wrong? 他是个好人，怎么会这样? [05:31.76]Maybe his parents were hippies and didn't beIieve in it. -也许他父母不信这一套 -我一定会帮我儿子割包皮 [05:34.12]-I am so circumcising my kids. -I think you can pay peopIe to do that now. [05:36.80]现在可以付钱请别人帮你做 [05:41.60]I don't ever wanna know there's a woman out there caIIing my son a Shar-Pei. 我才不想让别的女人 在背后叫我儿子沙皮狗 [05:44.20]AII I'm saying is, uncut men are the best. They try harder. 我认为没割包皮的男人最棒 他们会更努力 [05:49.56]I shouId know. I've sIept with five of them. 我再清楚不过了 我跟其中五个人上过床 [05:53.24]-Out of how many? -Infinity. -总数是多少? -无限多 [05:56.20]That nlght, Blg and I went out to celebrate absolutely nothlng. 当晚，大人物和我 心血来潮外出用餐 [06:00.48]-More grappa? -No, thank ya. -再来一点格拉帕酒? -不，谢了 [06:06.92]Listen, my editor caIIed me today and she's.... 今天我的编辑打电话给我… [06:13.92]-You were saying? -Yes, I was. -你刚跟我说话? -没错 [06:17.96]Excuse me, you can't smoke that in here. 抱歉，这里不能抽烟 [06:19.28]ReaIIy? You're absoIuteIy, positiveIy sure about that? 真的吗?你百分之百肯定? [06:23.56]Because I checked the zoning on this particuIar tabIe... 因为我查过这张桌子的位置 [06:28.60]...and I'm pretty sure this tabIe is in a cigar-friendIy zone. 我确信它是在雪茄友善区内 [06:32.68]I don't mind, but it's for the other patrons. 我并不介意 但这是为了其他顾客 [06:36.24]You mean if those five patrons don't mind, it's okay with you? 如果那五位顾客不介意 就没问题了? [06:39.32]-Sir, I'm gonna have to-- -Just one second. -先生，我必须… -等一下 [06:44.00]Excuse me, this is my Iast day on earth. 不好意思 今天是我在世的最后一日 [06:47.52]I'm being executed tomorrow morning. That's my paroIe officer there. 明天早上我就要被处死了 [06:50.96]那位是我的假释官 你们介意我抽雪茄吗? [06:51.48]WouId you mind terribIy if I smoked this, Iadies? [06:55.24]Thank you. [06:58.04]Excuse me, I'm sorry. WouId it be okay if I smoked this? 抱歉，我可以抽雪茄吗? [07:00.20]PIease, Iet me preface this by saying: I'd Iike to buy everybody a round of drinks. 让我先说一句 [07:04.92]我乐意请各位再喝一杯酒 [07:10.44]ApparentIy, the other patrons aren't bothered at aII. 显然其他顾客 一点也不觉得困扰 [07:14.84]I dldn't have the guts to tell Blg that he was actually klnd of botherlng me. 我没有勇气告诉大人物 其实他的行为让我很反感 [07:18.32]They won't teII you the truth. 没有人会当着你的面说 他们讨厌你抽雪茄 [07:18.88]No one is gonna say to your face they hate your cigar. [07:21.48]Good. -那才好 -你真的很傲慢 [07:22.80]You are very arrogant. [07:27.44]I thought that's what you Iiked about me. 我以为你正喜欢我这一点 [07:31.24]Maybe Blg was rlght. 或许大人物说得对 [07:32.60]Maybe we were at that lnevltable polnt ln the relatlonshlp... 或许我们在这段感情中正处于 [07:35.72]...when the llttle thlngs you loved about the person become huge llabllltles. 对方吸引你的地方 [07:37.48]全变成了难以忍受的缺点 [07:42.68]And just then, a huge llablllty walked by. 就在此时，他的毛病又犯了 [07:50.80]What? -怎么了? -我… [07:53.32]I hate that cigar. 我…讨厌那雪茄 [08:00.68]And you toId me right to my face. 而你当着我的面说了 [08:08.04]New York Clty ls all about change. 纽约无时无刻不在改变 [08:11.68]New Yorkers change thelr halrcuts, thelr polltlcs... 一眨眼，纽约人便改变了发型 政治立场和朋友 [08:13.08]...even thelr frlends ln the bllnk of an eye. [08:16.44]If change was so easy, why was lt so hard for Blg? 若改变如此容易 为何对大人物而言这么难? [08:18.92]Was I banglng my head agalnst the wall, thlnklng he'd stop and notlce me? 难道我要用头撞墙 [08:21.32]好让他注意我? [08:25.60]Dld I have to change my expectatlons or was lt posslble.... 我必须改变我的期望吗? 或者是否可能… [08:29.56]Can you change a man? 你可以改变一个男人吗? [08:31.68]My husband used to be obsessed with watching sports 24 hours a day. 我丈夫以前很迷运动节目 [08:34.04]Then I started fooIing around with his best friend. 后来我开始 跟他最好的朋友乱搞 [08:39.24]And now he's obsessed with watching me. 现在他一心只想守着我 [08:39.32]Every girIfriend I've had wants me to change something. 每个女友都希望我有所改变 工作、朋友、态度等等 [08:44.40]Change your job, change your friends, change your attitude. [08:47.96]The onIy thing I ever change is girIfriends. 结果我唯一的改变就是换女友 [08:53.24]Meanwhlle, Charlotte was about to dlscover that some men can change. 不可能 [08:53.52]夏绿蒂即将发现 有些男人的确可以改变 [08:58.12]Thanks for dinner. It was great. 谢谢你的晚餐，棒极了 [09:05.88]那么…我能跟你一起上楼吗? [09:06.56]Can I come upstairs with you? 明天我得早起 而且我家乱七八糟 [09:08.96]I have to get up reaIIy earIy, and my pIace is just a mess. [09:12.40]Look, I understand. -没关系，我明白 -真的? [09:15.20]-You do? -Yeah, what happened the other night. 那天晚上发生的事… [09:17.72]You're not the first woman to react to it that way. I've gotten it most of my Iife. 你不是第一个 有那种反应的女人 [09:23.48]ReaIIy? -真的吗? -我决定一劳永逸 [09:24.76]Yeah, and I've decided to do something about it. [09:28.04]I've been uncomfortabIe for too Iong, so I'm getting circumcised. 我已经为此困扰太久了 所以… [09:30.92]我打算去割包皮 [09:35.68]Can you do that? -你肯这么做? -是的 [09:38.80]Yeah. I mean, it hurts. It takes a Iong time to heaI. 手术很痛，而且伤口要很久 才会愈合，但我愿意这么做 [09:41.64]But I'm wiIIing to do that. I want to feeI good about making Iove. [09:43.36]我希望能好好享受做爱的乐趣 [09:46.72]That is so sweet. 那真是太体贴了 [09:49.40]-Do you mind waiting? -No, not at aII. -你介意等待吗? -一点也不 [10:02.92]Apparently, Samantha was wrong. 显然莎曼珊错了 有些男人会让步 [10:07.32]Some men could budge an lnch. [10:07.28]In Mlke's case, lt may have been more llke an lnch and a half. 以迈克为例 他的牺牲还真不少 [10:14.84]The next mornlng, Mlranda was gettlng her usual wake-up call. 隔天早上 米兰达又被起床号吵醒了 [10:26.16]Where you going? -你上哪儿去? -我要起床 [10:30.08]-I'm getting up. -Come on, it's Saturday. 今天是星期六，躺着吧，过来 [10:33.32]Come on, Iay down, sIow down. Come here. [10:39.12]How Iong are we gonna do this? 我们要躺多久? [10:43.08]-You want a time frame for cuddIing? -Yeah. -拥抱也有时间限制? -是的，好比二十分钟? [10:46.48]Like 20 minutes? [10:48.64]Thirty? -还是三十分钟? -你在开玩笑吧 [10:49.44]You're kidding me. [10:53.80]It heIps if I have an end point in mind. I respond weII to Iimits. 让我知道何时结束比较好 我习惯有限制 [10:55.48]That's your probIem, you got too many Iimits. You gotta Iet go a IittIe. 这就是你的问题 你给自己太多限制了 [11:02.40]Look. Saturday is my free day, right? 听着，星期六是我的空闲日 我得洗衣服，再去拿干洗衣物 [11:05.68]I have spinning and then I get my dry cIeaning. [11:06.72]Then I get my naiIs done and I do my grocery shopping for the week. 修指甲 还得去采购一周的食物 [11:09.12]-Okay? -You're not sounding very free to me. 听起来不怎么空闲 [11:18.60]Do you want to come with me and get my dry cIeaning? 你要陪我去拿干洗的衣服吗? [11:21.48]No, I didn't think so. 我想也是 [11:27.60]An hour and a haIf, tops. 最多再躺一个半小时 [11:33.68]Twelve hours later, Steve went to work. 十二个小时后 史蒂夫去上班了 [11:36.68]About the same tlme, we went out to our favorlte bar... 我们齐聚在最爱的酒吧 [11:39.04]...whlch on Saturdays changes lnto drag queen blngo. 这里星期六会举行 变装皇后的宾果游戏 [11:42.24]Come on, N-23. 快点…N23 [11:45.08]I reaIIy Iike him, but this morning thing is kiIIing me. 我真的很喜欢他 但早上做爱这档事把我整惨了 [11:48.88]It's bad enough we've never done it at night. 不在晚上做已经够糟了 [11:51.96]After we do it in the morning, he wants to Iie there with me. 完事后他还要我陪他一起躺着 [11:55.24]Everyone wants a guy who wants to cuddIe. 每个人都想要可以拥抱的男人 [11:56.24]O-33, Iadies. -各位，O33 -该死 [11:59.04]Shit! 我很嫉妒你 大人物甚至不肯在我家过夜 [11:60.44]I'm jeaIous. Big won't even spend the night at my pIace. [12:02.32]-What you have is reaI intimacy. -It's bed arrest. -你拥有真实的亲密关系 -我是被软禁在床上 [12:06.68]I've been horizontaI aII day, and I had errands to do. I missed spinning. 我曾整天躺在床上 但我有事要做，我没洗衣服 [12:12.04]You don't have to spin if you're having sex. 能做爱就别洗衣服了 [12:13.56]B-12! -B12 -来个N23如何? [12:16.72]-How about N-23? -I don't know why I pIay this, I never win. [12:17.20]-我干嘛玩这个?我从没赢过 -为什么我得调整作息? [12:20.72]Why do I have to be the one to change my routine? [12:23.20]Maybe because you reaIIy Iike him. It wouIdn't kiII you to sIow down a IittIe. 因为你真的很喜欢他 而且放慢生活步调也无妨 [12:26.56]Miranda's right. 为什么改变的总是女人 永远不是男人? [12:28.48]Why is it the woman who aIways has to change and never the guy? [12:29.56]-Because we are more adaptabIe. -I Iove morning sex. -因为我们适应力比较强 -我喜欢在早上做爱 [12:33.12]I haven't done morning sex since coIIege when I didn't have cIass tiII 11:00. 我大学毕业以后 就没在早上做过爱了 [12:36.72]而且那还是因为11点才有课 [12:37.88]Maybe you shouId come up with a scheduIe. -你应该排一个时间表 -做爱时间表?那还真浪漫呢 [12:41.60]A sex scheduIe? Very romantic! [12:42.48]Surprise him at the bar wearing nothing but a trench coat and a smiIe. 给他一个惊喜 只穿着雨衣，带着微笑去找他 [12:48.04]That wouId be a happy hour. 那将是酒吧的快乐时光 [12:50.92]I think that if you reaIIy beIieve in the reIationship you shouId work at it. 如果你对这段感情认真 你应该想办法维持下去 [12:55.60]This from a woman who dumped a guy over foreskin. 为了包皮把男友甩了的女人 居然说这种话 [12:57.00]ActuaIIy, we're stiII dating. -事实上，我们还在交往 -那个沙皮狗? [12:59.28]-The Shar-Pei? -He's getting circumcised. 他要去割包皮 [13:05.52]PIease teII me that we're not invited to the Bris. 拜托告诉我，我们不必去观礼 [13:07.72]Can I get another board, pIease? 再给我一块板子好吗? [13:13.96]-Samantha? -Yes. -莎曼珊? -我就是 [13:14.56]It's me, Brad. 是我，布莱德 [13:19.84]Brad McCoIskey? 布莱德麦考斯基? [13:19.72]Brad was a seml-professlonal hockey player... 布莱德是莎曼珊几年前 交往过的曲棍球员 [13:23.44]...Samantha had dated a few years back. [13:25.84]The only thlng he was checklng these days were hls pants at the door. 最近他唯一阻挡的东西 在他的裤裆 [13:27.28]Look at you, Miss Thing. You Iook fabuIous. 看看你，大美女，你好漂亮 [13:32.96]So do you. 你也是，你从什么时候开始… [13:34.44]-When did you start doing.... -About five years ago, right after you. [13:38.36]大约五年前，跟你分手之后 [13:43.92]Maybe Samantha was wrong. Apparently, she could change a man. 也许莎曼珊错了 显然她可以改变一个男人 [13:46.36]-How are the kids? -Good. Jake is in second grade. -孩子们好吗 -很好，杰克上二年级了 [13:49.76]Jake has two mommies. 杰克有两个妈妈了 [13:51.08]There are other peopIe here who need boards, Samantha. 别的客人也需要板子，莎曼珊 [13:54.92]Take a chiII piII, Miss Saigon! -吃颗感冒药吧，西贡小姐 -莎曼珊? [13:57.44]Samantha? [13:60.32]Imitation is the sincerest form of fIattery. 模仿是最真诚的奉承 我要走了，玩得愉快 [14:03.76]Gotta go. Enjoy the game. [14:07.44]N-23. N23 [14:08.76]Bingo! -宾果 -我比他漂亮多了 [14:10.16]I am so much prettier than him. [14:16.64]Two hours later, I was supposed to meet Blg at hls place. 两个小时后 我和大人物约在他家见面 [14:21.68]Two and a half hours later, he showed up. 两个半小时后，他终于现身了 [14:28.56]Sorry. -对不起 -你迟到了半小时 [14:28.44]You're a haIf hour Iate. Your doorman thinks I'm a hooker. [14:30.84]门房以为我是妓女 [14:32.20]-Did you make any money? -Not funny. -有生意上门吗? -不好笑，我讨厌等人 [14:34.60]I hate waiting here for you. 在这里，等你 [14:38.76]There's a coffee shop around the corner you couId have waited in. 转角有一家咖啡厅 [14:41.68]-你可以进去等 -我要走了 [14:44.92]-You know what? I'm gonna go. -Don't be pissed. [14:46.20]I'm pissed. -别生气 -我快气死了 [14:47.60]Come upstairs. 上楼吧 [14:50.48]You know, if you gave me a key, I couId wait upstairs next time. 如果你给我一把钥匙 下次我就能在楼上等 [14:55.20]A key? 钥匙? [14:56.48]Or you can stay at my pIace sometimes. It's easy to pick my Iocks. 或者偶尔你可以在我家过夜 我的锁很容易撬开 [15:01.92]Yeah, but then I Iike my bed. 可是我喜欢我的床 [15:06.12]Look at that service. 还有电梯服务 [15:09.00]Come on. 来吧 [15:12.16]That nlght, somethlng else changed. Nelther of us wanted to make love. 当晚，气氛不太一样 我们两个都不想做爱 [15:17.56]If thls was all I was ever gonna get out of Blg, was lt enough for me? 如果大人物只能付出这么多 这对我来说够吗? [15:23.08]Then at 3.:00 a.m., somewhere between sleep and waklng... 然后，凌晨三点 [15:23.48]在半梦半醒之际 我得到了答案 [15:26.40]...I got my answer. [15:28.08]-Dammit! -What? -该死 -怎么了? [15:30.48]-凯莉，你没事吧? -才怪 [15:33.92]-Are you aII right? -No! [15:35.92]-What the fuck? -My God! -搞什么鬼? -我的天 [15:39.40]-What the heII was that? -You knocked me out of bed! 你干嘛? [15:39.00]你把我推下床 你根本不知道我在这里 [15:43.08]-You didn't even know I was here! -I do now. [15:45.56]Why don't you break my arm the next time? 我现在知道了 下次何不打断我的手臂? [15:46.96]-I'm sorry. -Jesus! -对不起 -老天 [15:51.56]AII right, Sugar Ray, the bed's aII yours. 好吧，整张床都让给你 [15:53.100]-Where you going? -To sIeep on the couch. -你要去哪里? -我去睡沙发 [15:57.48]-Wait, wouId you just Iet me expIain? -Don't taIk now. Bad to taIk now. -听我解释 -现在不要谈 [15:60.60]现在谈话的时机很坏 [16:02.88]But I couldn't sleep. 但我睡不着 [16:05.32]And at 4.:00 a.m., I declded he couldn't sleep elther. 凌晨四点，我知道他也睡不着 [16:17.56]It's ice for your face. 这是给你敷脸的冰块 [16:20.84]Yes, I can feeI that. 我感觉得到 [16:25.64]Okay, I know I've Iost a IittIe of my power. 我知道是我乱发脾气 [16:29.92]I'm pretty sure that most women's magazines... 我也肯定大部分的女性杂志 [16:30.72]...wouId say that what I just did was a very bad idea. 会说我不该那么做 [16:34.60]But the thing is, the other night wasn't just about the cigar. 但那晚我生气不只是因为雪茄 [16:42.04]It never is. 从来都不是 [16:45.60]I hate that you Iook at other women. 我讨厌你看别的女人 [16:47.60]I hate that I don't have a key to your pIace. You've never spent the night at my pIace. 我讨厌没有你家的钥匙 你从不在我家过夜 [16:49.96]You can't even make space for me in your bed. 你的床甚至容不下我 [16:53.44]And it's not your fauIt because I never say it. 这不是你的错 因为是我没跟你说 [16:59.36]So now I punched you. So now I have to say it. 而现在我揍了你一拳 所以我非说不可 [17:03.40]So now I'm gonna say it. 所以现在我要说了 [17:08.88]I feeI Iike I'm back in your Iife and nothing has reaIIy changed. 我觉得虽然我们复合了… [17:13.96]但却没什么改变 我知道你不可能改变一个男人 [17:16.64]I know you can't change a man, and you definiteIy can't change a man Iike you. [17:17.20]像你这样的男人更不可能改变 可是… [17:21.48]But... [17:24.88]...I stiII want... 我仍然希望有一点改变 [17:26.04]...something to change a IittIe bit... [17:30.84]...for me. 为了我 [17:32.96]PhysicaI vioIence is never the answer. 肢体暴力绝非解决之道 [17:38.28]I'm gonna go. 我走了 [17:43.68]-Does it hurt? -Yes. -会痛吗? -会 [17:48.16]Look, I'm sure there are things you don't Iike about me. 听着，我相信我一定有 让你不满意的地方 [17:52.40]I'm not faIIing for that one. 少来这套 [17:57.56]That was one thlng I llked about Blg. He deflnltely knew when to shut up. 这是我喜欢大人物的一点 他很清楚何时该闭嘴 [18:04.16]The next nlght, Charlotte took Mlke out for a post-operatlve scotch. 隔天晚上，夏绿蒂和迈克 出去喝一杯手术后的威士忌 [18:08.100]Did it hurt? 那会痛吗? [18:13.80]On a scaIe of one to five, I'd give it a 72. 以一到五的等级来说 我想是… [18:17.28]-You poor thing. -That's aII right. -好可怜 [18:18.84]The worst is over. Now I just accept sympathy and heaI. 没关系，最坏的已经过去了 现在我只接受同情，等待复原 [18:23.92]-For how Iong? -About another week or so. -需要多久? -再过一个礼拜左右 [18:25.44]-I can't wait. -Me either. -我等不及了 -我也是 [18:28.80]God, you reaIIy turn me on. 天啊，夏绿蒂 你真是让我性致勃勃 [18:41.40]You shouId go. 你走吧 [18:49.40]Much later that nlght, bolstered by coffee... 当晚，藉着咖啡提神 [18:50.76]...Mlranda declded to perform a 2.:00 a.m. seductlon. 米兰达决定施展午夜诱惑 [19:02.88]HeIIo. 你看你，美极了 有什么大事? [19:01.56]Look at you! You Iook great. What's the occasion? [19:05.16]It's 2:00 a.m. and I am stiII awake. 现在两点了但我还不想睡 我想我们应该庆祝一下 [19:09.16]I thought we couId ceIebrate. I've had five cups of coffee. [19:09.84]-我已经喝了五杯咖啡 -那倒值得开个派对 [19:13.60]That's worth a party. [19:18.12]Meet me in the bedroom. I'II get the wine. 在房间等我，我去拿酒 [19:30.12]-Get up. -What? -起来 -怎么了? [19:33.60]I think you shouId spend the night at your pIace tonight. 今晚你该回家睡觉 [19:36.48]-Why? -Because I'd Iike to catch up on my sIeep. 为什么? [19:39.36]我想多睡一下，而且不必担心 [19:41.64]I reaIIy don't want to worry about having sex with you in the morning... [19:41.28]早上还得跟你做爱 之后躺着休息，导致上班迟到 [19:44.32]...and then just Iying there and being Iate. [19:47.20]-You don't Iike having sex with me. -No, I do. I Iove it. -你不喜欢跟我做爱? -我很喜欢 [19:51.40]But once I wouId Iike to do it at night, Iike other normaI Homo sapiens. 但我希望至少有一次在晚上做 像其他正常人一样 [19:54.36]-ReIax, we can have sex now. -We can't have sex now! -放轻松，我们可以现在做 -不行 [19:58.76]I had a window, and it happened haIf an hour ago! 本来有个很好的时机 但那是半小时前的事了 [20:02.20]-You had a window for sex? -I'm sorry, I'm a Iawyer. I get tired. -做爱还有时机? -抱歉，我是个律师，我会累 [20:05.40]I'm a bartender and I get awfuIIy tired of deaIing with other peopIe's neuroses. 我是个酒保，早已厌烦别人 情绪失控、大呼小叫 [20:12.36]When you get, you know... 当你… [20:15.16]时机对了或是门户大开… [20:16.64]...a picture window, or a whoIe doorway of time... [20:21.40]...caII me. 再打电话给我 [20:25.100]Mlranda had never felt less llke a successful lawyer ln her llfe. 米兰达从未觉得自己 是个如此失败的律师 [20:32.48]Even though she'd won her case, she'd also been left wlth all the damages. 即使她打赢了官司 却也受到伤害 [20:37.20]A week later, Charlotte flnally got her chance to break ln the new merchandlse. 一个星期后 夏绿蒂终于有机会 [20:39.28]一窥新货的真面目 [20:43.80]What do you think? -你认为怎么样? -太完美了 [20:47.84]It's perfect. 这感觉好像是 同时收到生日和圣诞礼物 [20:47.16]It was llke her blrthday and Chrlstmas rolled lnto one. [20:52.16]You reaIize this makes me a virgin. 你知道这将是我的初体验? [20:57.80]I'II be gentIe. 我会很温柔的 [21:05.12]That was reaIIy wonderfuI. -那真是太美妙了 -没错，是五根搅拌棒 [21:07.12]It was. A five. [21:14.20]So what do you want to do Saturday night? 你礼拜六晚上要做什么? [21:17.16]Saturday? Did we have pIans? 礼拜六?我们有计划了吗? [21:19.24]No, but I thought maybe we couId go to this drama Ieague benefit... 没有，但我想我们可以去参加 戏剧联展的义演 [21:23.12]...or we couId, you know, go Iow-key and stay in and rent videos. 或是低调一点 待在家里看录影带 [21:29.12]夏绿蒂，等等，听我说 [21:30.08]Hang on, Iisten. [21:31.32]I don't think I'm ready for this to be, you know, Iike a big thing. 我认为我还没准备好定下来 [21:38.04]A big thing? 定下来? [21:42.32]I just feeI Iike I can't be tied down right now. 我只是觉得我现在不能被绑住 [21:43.92]There's a whoIe new me happening. I shouId get out there and share it. 我已经焕然一新 我应该出去外面和大家分享 [21:49.80]You want to share your penis? 你想分享你的命根子? [21:54.08]WeII... 我…没错 [21:56.88]...yeah. [21:56.44]I feeI Iike I owe it to myseIf to take the doggie out for a waIk around the bIock... 我应该带它出去见识一下 [22:02.08]...you know? 夏绿蒂再也没见过迈克 [22:04.28]Charlotte never saw Mlke agaln. [22:07.36]She reallzed you can take the Shar-Pel out of the penls... 她明白你可以让命根子 脱离沙皮狗的模样 [22:10.64]...but you could never take the dog out of the man. 却永远无法去除男人的狗性 [22:14.52]A few days later, I reallzed you could change a man. 几天后 我发现你的确可以改变男人 [22:18.84]You could change hlm lnto not calllng you. 你可以让他不再打电话给你 [22:27.68]Hi. [22:29.36]Look at that. -瞧瞧那黑眼圈 -你才看清楚，我已经看过了 [22:31.24]No, you Iook at it. I've seen it aIready. [22:35.04]Sorry. 对不起 [22:38.48]Easy, no hands near the face. 别轻举妄动，手不能靠近脸部 [22:43.36]Come in. 进来吧 [22:44.88]I just came over to teII you something. 我只是来跟你说一件事 [22:49.72]You're suing me, right? 你要告我对不对? [22:56.72]Look, maybe you need a key to know that I'm crazy about you. 听着… [22:55.96]也许你需要一把钥匙 才能相信我为你疯狂 [22:60.24]But the thing is, I've given out, Iike, five keys... 但事实上我曾给过五把钥匙 [23:05.24]...and you never get 'em back. 却从没拿回来过 [23:07.04]And maybe I hog my bed. 也许我霸占了整张床 但那是我的床，而且… [23:11.88]But it's my bed and I Iike you in it. [23:13.08]我喜欢你躺在上面 [23:17.16]-I shouId hit you more often. -And the oranges. -我应该更常打你 -还有柳橙 [23:20.16]-What? -The oranges have to go. 床上不能吃柳橙 这是我不喜欢你的地方 [23:23.80]This is something I don't Iike about you. [23:25.20]-I hate that you eat oranges in my bed. -You do? 我讨厌你在我床上吃柳橙 [23:28.28]真的? [23:29.60]They're sticky and they make the sheets stink. 它们粘粘的 还会把我的床单弄臭 [23:33.60]-That's it? -I Iike my sheets. -就这样? -我喜欢我的床单 [23:37.24]What are you gonna give me for the oranges? 你拿什么跟我交换柳橙? [23:37.96]-A negotiation? -Yep. -你要讨价还价? -是的 [23:40.72]-This couId take a whiIe. -It couId. -这可能要一段时间 -有可能 [23:47.60]It Iooks Iike I may have to spend the night. 看来我得在这里过夜了 [23:52.64]That nlght, for the flrst tlme, Blg spent the nlght at my place. 当晚，大人物第一次 在我家过夜 [23:57.24]I reallzed that nelther of us would ever fundamentally change... 我明白我们两个 都无法彻底改变 [24:01.60]...but we were talklng about lt. 但我们愿意面对这件事 [24:02.68]And maybe that was the blggest change of all. 也许那就是最大的改变 [24:06.84]The next day my sheets stunk of clgars. I changed them lmmedlately. 隔天，我的床单都是雪茄味 [24:10.56]我马上把它们换掉 [24:12.60]Across town, lt was 2.:00 a.m. and Mlranda was no closer to sleeplng. 凌晨两点，在城的另一头 [24:15.24]米兰达却毫无睡意 [24:25.24]-HeIIo. -HeyI -喂? -嗨 [24:29.52]Hi. 嗨 [24:33.84]Sorry to wake you. -抱歉吵醒你了 -不要紧，我还没睡 [24:34.40]It's okay, I was awake. [24:37.76]Look, I don't wanna bug you. 我不想烦你 [24:40.36]Do me a favor. Go to the window. 帮我一个忙，到窗边来 [24:45.72]Okay. [24:49.92]Now look up. 抬头望 [24:52.92]My God. -我的天 -很美吧? [24:53.68]It's amazlng, lsn't lt? [24:57.84]It's a bIue moon. It's reaIIy rare. 蓝色的月亮，很少见的 [25:01.32]I just wanted you to see lt. 我只是想让你看看 [25:03.96]It was rlght then, that Mlranda flnally slowed down... 就在此刻，米兰达终于 放慢步调，向史蒂夫投降 [25:05.04]...and gave lnto Steve. [25:09.32]Come over when you're done, okay? 下班后过来，好吗? [25:11.60]Yeah. 好 [25:14.36]Night. 再见 [25:17.32]That nlght, Mlranda and Steve made love. 当晚，米兰达和史蒂夫做爱 [25:22.40]And they dld lt agaln ln the mornlng. 他们在早上又做了一次 [25:23.92]Mlranda was an hour late for work and dldn't even notlce. 米兰达迟到了一小时 她却完全没注意 [25:26.36]So maybe you can't change a man... 也许你无法改变男人 [25:29.44]...but once ln a blue moon, you can change a woman. 但在千载难逢的机会下 你可以改变一个女人

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