百科知识视频之煎蛋小学堂37 关于摩根弗里曼大叔的真相

Morgan Freeman was born in 1937.He narrated his own birth.Saying:Leaving the warm comfort of his mother's womb.I,Morgan Freeman,enter the world.Soon I will make my first poop.One of many in the life of Morgan Freeman.The first time Morgan Freeman saw himself crying in the mirror,He became old,and remained that way his whole life.From then on every time that Morgan Freeman cried,it rained in heaven.

摩根弗里曼出生于1937年。他为自己降生做了旁白。念到：离开了母亲大人温暖的子宫小屋。我 摩根弗里曼 来到了这个世界。不久我将会拉人生第一泡粑粑。这是摩根弗里曼一生要拉的众多粑粑中的一坨。当摩根弗里曼第一次在镜子中窥见自己哭丧的脸庞时，他就变沧桑了 而且此后一生都保持那副面容。从那以后每当摩根弗里曼掉眼泪，天堂就要下雨。

When Morgan Freeman makes a documentary film,he narrates it first,and then nature makes it so,The only reason that the sun rises each day is because Morgan Freeman narrated that sunrise in his dreams the night before,The only reason that you're alive right now is because Morgan Freeman is narrating your life as he does for billion and billions of other each day.And when you have a bout of diarrhea,Morgan Freeman narrates it so that you appear noble,at the mercery of nature and a taco.

当摩根弗里曼拍纪录片时，他先做好旁白，然后大自然按照他的脚本去演。太阳每天能照常升起的唯一原因就是 摩根弗里曼在前一天的夜里做梦为日出做了旁白。你至今还能欢乐蹦跶的唯一原因就是 摩根弗里曼正在为成千上万和你一样的人默念命运的旁白。当你蹲在厕所一泻千里时，摩根弗里曼在为你做旁白 这样你的形象就变高尚了起来，在上苍的庇护下 还有煎饼果子。

Morgan Freeman goes through four or five microphones a day,because his voice turns them into bars of gold,which he uses to fund his quest to create a real Santa Clause.Morgan Freeman cannot be cloned because that would require unicorn tears.Morgan Freeman doesn't have sex.When he smiles,a baby simply appears in field fulll of kittens,Earthquakes are merely Mother Nature having an orgasm when she listen the March of the Penguins.Penguins didn't exist until Morgan Freeman made that movie.He's that good.

摩根弗里曼每天要经历4到5根麦克风 因为他的嗓音能将它们变成大金条，这样就能为他制造真圣诞老人的计划筹集资金。摩根弗里曼无法被复制 因为这需要独角兽的眼泪。摩根弗里曼从来不做爱 。他一微笑 一名婴儿就会从一片咪咪的汪洋中悄然诞生。地震只不过是大地娘亲 在听摩根弗里曼配音的《帝企鹅日记》听出高潮的表现。帝企鹅是直到摩根弗里曼拍了那部电影后才出现的。他就是这么棒。

If you're having a rough day,think about Morgan Freeman.Because he's certainly thinking about you,Morgan Freeman,Morgan Freeman.Morgan Freeman.Morgan Freeman,Morgan Freeman,Morgan Freeman,Morgan Freeman.

如果你经历了悲催的日子，想想摩根弗里曼吧。因为他一定在想着你。摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼 摩根弗里曼。