生活英语听力文章：对不起,道歉的艺术
I’m Sorry! 对不起，道歉的艺术
Apologizing is not as simple as saying “I’m sorry.” Truly thoughtful apologies repair and rebuild relationships but thoughtless or insincere apologies may do more harm than good.
道歉不仅仅是简单的说句“对不起”。实际上考虑周到的道歉能有利于修复和重建关系然而轻率或是不真诚的道歉可能会利大于弊。
Think of the last time you apologized for something you said or did. What words did you speak? Were they heartfelt and honest? Did your voice tone and body language send the same or a different message than your words? Were excuses and justifications mixed in with your apology?
回想一下你最后一次为某事而道歉的时候你说了或做了些什么。你说了些什么话?那些话是真心实意的吗?你的语调和动作与你所说的话是传达了相同还是相反的信息呢?在你的道歉中总是否参杂着各种理由和借口呢?
The way in which we apologize says a lot about our character. Do we accept full responsibly for the things we say and do or do we feel the need to explain the reason for our actions by pointing fingers? Do the words coming out of our mouths have real meaning or are we just apologizing because it’s expected of us?
道歉的方式与我们的性格有着很大的关系。我们是会为自己的所说所做承担全部的责任呢还是会觉得有必要把理由点出来为自己的行为解释?我们道歉是因为说出来的话里有着真实的意义呢还是觉得去道歉仅仅是因为对方的需要?
We all make mistakes. No one’s perfect. But how we rebound from those mistakes and apologize for our behavior will play a critical role in the impressions we make and the respect we have from our friends, family and co-workers. If done correctly your apology will make a lasting impression and distinguish you as someone who accepts responsibility for your actions.
人人都犯过错，没有人是完美的。但是我们回应错误和为自己行为道歉的方式将会在我们能否在亲友、同事中获得尊重和取得良好印象中起着至关重要的作用。如果处理的恰当，你的道歉将会为你赢得一个持久的好印象并且会使你作为一个能为自己行为负责的人脱颖而出。
My wife and I have four children. So you can imagine there have been numerous times when we’ve had to remind them about how to give a proper apology. Today’s tips are based upon the lessons we have taught our children over the years and I give my wife full credit for helping all of us learn how to make things right.
我和我的爱人有四个孩子，因此你能想得到有很多时候我们必须去提醒他们怎样去给出一个正当的道歉。现如今的秘诀都是基于这些年我们教导孩子时所得到的教训上的，并且在对帮助大家学习怎样去使事情变得更顺利的方面，我觉得应当全部归功于我的妻子。
Don’t Justify Your Actions Or Make Excuses
别为你的行为辩护或找借口
Don’t make the common mistake of giving an explanation or a justification when you apologize. It will cheapen and discount your apology.
千万别犯这种常见的错误，当你在道歉的时候还想着去找借口、找理由。这只会使你的道歉变得廉价。
The best way to apologize is to accept responsibility for your actions and start with the obvious words, “I’m sorry.” This won’t be easy, especially if your regrettable actions were in response to someone else’s actions. It takes a strong person to accept responsibility for their actions and not justify them. You are in control of your actions and blaming others is just a lame excuse.
道歉的最好方式就是去为你之前的行为承担责任并且以“对不起”这种明显的措辞开始。然而这并不容易，尤其是如果你的这个抱歉举动是用来回应别人的一些行为的话。强大的人是会为自己的行动负责而不是为它们找理由。你才是自己行为的主导者，出错时责备别人只会是一个毫无说服力的借口而已。
Mean What You Say
实话实说
Be genuine and honest. If you try to fake your way through an apology, people will see right through it and it will only make the situation worse. If you have done something you shouldn’t have done or said something you shouldn’t have said, you have just made a negative impression.
保持真诚和诚实。如果你尝试假道歉,人们将看到穿过它,它只会使情况变得更糟。如果你做了你不该做或说一些你不该说,你刚刚作出了一个给人消极的印象。
An insincere apology is like pounding that negative impression in their head with a hammer. It’s a sure way to lose someone’s respect.
不真诚的道歉,就像汹涌的负面印象的锤头，肯定要失去别人的尊重。
Focus on making sure your tone and body language send the same messages as the words you speak. It’s also helpful to include some specifics in your apology beyond the words “I’m sorry”. Acknowledging what you did wrong conveys that you really understand the impact of your words or actions.
专注于确保你的语气和肢体语言跟你说的话发送相同的信息。也有助于包括一些在你的道歉中的细节而不仅仅是声“对不起”。承认自己做错了什么让你真正了解你的言语和行为的影响。
You may need a little time to pass to collect your thoughts before delivering a genuine apology but don’t let the clock run out. When you know you need to apologize for something, the sooner you can do it effectively, the better.
你可能需要一点时间通过收集你的想法之前提供一个真正的道歉但是不要让时钟耗尽。当你知道你需要道歉的事情,你能做到有效,越早越好。
Ask For Forgiveness
求得原谅
After you have apologized, then seek forgiveness. Offer to make amends if appropriate. And then hopefully the other person will agree to forgive you and you both can move on. It takes a strong person to apologize as I have described but doing so will be bring closure to your mistake and potentially restore a damaged relationship.
You can imagine what comes next. Who needs an apology from you? Do you have any damaged relationships? TODAY’s challenge is to make a call or set up an appointment with someone who you have wronged, offended or misguided. Think about the words you will use and the way you will deliver those words. Will you accept the challenge?
你可以想象接下来会发生什么。谁需要道歉吗?你有任何损坏的关系吗?今天的挑战是打电话或与你有委屈,冒犯或误导的人约会。思考你将使用的话语和你将这些话的方式。你愿意接受挑战吗?
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