生活英语听力文章：输和赢的一场激烈争论
一场争论的输赢
Have you ever had an argument with someone important to you? Did you win or lose? Do you love the feeling when the opposing argument gets shut down, and your opponent conforms to your opinion? Is that your ultimate goal? What about how your opponent feels? Do you care?
你有和别人进行过对你很重要的争论吗?你赢了还是输了?你喜欢那种让对方无话可说屈从于你的观点的感觉吗?这是你的最终目标吗?你在乎对方的感受吗?
I’m like many teenagers. Because I have strong (and often contrary) opinions, I’ve had my share of arguments; I’ve won some and lost some.
像许多青少年一样，我的观点很强劲(也经常反对别人)，所以在争论时我会有自己的一席之地。因为这个也有得有失。
I used to not hesitate to argue. I would jump into disagreements like they were a cold pool on a summer day. I was blind to the fact that nothing good was coming from these arguments. I wasn’t changing their views. In fact, it normally made my opponents feel stronger about their own opinions, and it would cause annoyance and anger. So I began to ask myself: How can I avoid tension and successfully get my point across?
我以前热衷于和别人争论，反对别人观点的感觉对我来说就像是在夏天跳入泳池那样爽。我之前对这些争论带来的敝处一无所知。我压根没有改变对方的想法。实际上，这还会让对方更加坚信他们自己的观点，而且会惹恼对方。所以我开始反问自己：如何不通过争论来表达清楚自己的观点?
Five Solutions
5种解决方案
Here are four things I now think about when I find myself about to enter a disagreement that could end up in a heated argument.
现在每当我想通过激烈的争论来表达异议时，就会想起下面4个问题。
1. Is it Important to Me?
1.对我重要吗?
Before saying anything to the other person, ask yourself: Is it worth it? What will be the benefit if I win? What will be the downside if I lose?
说话前问问自己：这值得吗?输赢对我分别有哪些利害?
When I would enter an argument too quickly, I would end up not having a strong opinion or supportive facts or being unwilling to listen to my opponent, and it would start unnecessary conflict.
每次我急于与人争论时，结果往往不是我能提出有分量的观点或支撑观点的事实，而是往往以不愿听对方的观点告终，从而就会引发不必要的冲突。
In one of my favorite books, How to Win Friends and Influence People, (I have to admit that my dad paid me to read it.) Dale Carnegie said: “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” This is true, but often ignored because it takes more character to be silent than to speak one’s mind.
戴尔·卡内基的《如何赢得友谊和影响别人》是我最爱的书之一(我得承认这是我爸爸为我买的)。卡内基在书中说道：“让争论得到最好结果的唯一办法就是避免争论。”这一事实却常被忽略，因为只有性格更好的人才能做到沉默而不是表达自己的观点。
2. Have a Discussion, Not an Argument
2.讨论而不要争论
Arguments are commonly controlled by emotion, while discussions are more about understanding. It’s important not to enter a disagreement when emotionally compromised. When controlled by your emotions, you are more likely to say hurtful things, yell, and ultimately prevent the discussion from going anywhere. If you feel you are on the verge of an outburst, take a breather, and only return when you feel you are ready to approach the situation rationally.
争论往往受到情绪的支配，而讨论却更多是以理解为基础。在情绪失控时千万不要发表否定意见，因为当你被情绪摆布时，你更可能出口伤人，大喊大叫，最终导致讨论的中断。如果你感觉自己将要爆发，深呼吸，然后当你感觉你可以理性处理的时候在发言。
3. Ask Questions
3.问问题
Too many times I entered an argument knowing that I’m right and they’re wrong. Because why would I argue if I didn’t feel it worth fighting for? But then I realized, why would they think any different? Sometimes it is even better to ask questions rather than ignore the problem because you may begin to judge them without fully understanding their view. Simply learning why the person thinks a certain way can diminish the need for an argument all together. As my dad has taught me, there is always two sides to every story.
在过去我参与的许多争论中，我知道我是对的而他们是错的。因为如果我觉得不值得的话我怎么会和他们去争论呢?但是，后来我意识到，为什么他们会有不同的想法呢?有时问问题都比忽视问题要好，因为你有可能会在完全理解对方观点前就开始进行判断。只要知道为什么对方会这样想就能避免一场争论。我爸爸常教导我说：凡事皆有两面性。
4. Understand That No One Is You
4.明白自己是独一无二的
No one is ever going to think the same as you. We are all very different—different personalities, different past experiences, and different present situations. Learning the way a person thinks is sometimes the only way of truly understanding their position.
没有人的想法会和你的一模一样。我们都很不一样——不一样的人品性格，过去经历和目前处境。学会用别人思考的方式看问题有时是真正理解对方处境的唯一方式。
Mend Old Wounds
修复旧伤
Have you been in an argument that had no closure to it—that was just left as an open wound? It’s so important to do everything you can to find that closure. Hard feelings and grudges are often the result of unsettled conflict. Whenever my brother and I would get into an argument my parents would put us in a room and we couldn’t come out until we had worked it out. We hated it, but it worked. Finish what you started. It can be a hard thing to do, to go back to that, but re-approaching the situation with the right attitude will help it go smoother.
你有和别人进行过没有结果只留下未弥合分歧的争论吗?尽力得出一个结论很重要，未解决的冲突往往是造成反感和怨恨的原因。每次我和我兄弟争论，我的父母都会把我们关进一间房子里，没有争出结果就不能出来。我们很讨厌这样，但真的有用。善始善终可能很难，但是态度端正地重新解决问题会使事情更顺利。
My Challenge
我给你的挑战
I want to encourage you to think about these four points when you find yourself on the verge of a disagreement.
当你感觉自己想要发表不同意见的时候，我想要你思考以上四点。
What have you learned from working through difficult situations and what have you found works best in avoiding arguments? Please share your thoughts below this post.
你在处理困境的过程中学到了什么?你觉得什么是避免争论的最好方法呢?请在文章下方分享你的观点。
Simply thinking before you argue can result in less stress and more understanding, while carelessly jumping into an argument can result in regretful actions and damaged relationships.
争论前简单思考一下可以减少压力，增进理解，而无所顾忌地与人争论会让你后悔莫及，破坏关系。
- 频道推荐
- |
- 全站推荐
- 推荐下载
- 网站推荐
