他其实没那么喜欢你 第44期:男人不值得信赖

This is Why This One is Hard, by Liz

这就是事情如此艰难的原因

In my life, I have had two men tell me that they hadslept with someone else, in the beginning stages ofour relationship.

在我的人生中，有两个男人在我们恋情开始的阶段告诉我他跟别人睡了。

(In one case, it came to me in a dream, literally, andI confronted him. That really freaked him out. )

(在一种情况下，我梦见了这件事，真的，然后我跟他对质。那真的把他吓到了。)

Anyway, both times what I got from it was that these men wanted me to know that they couldnever be trusted.

不管怎样，我从这两次中学到的教训就是这些男人想告诉我他们永远不值得信赖。

They were barely in the relationship and had already pulled the escape hatch.

他们几乎没有在恋情中投入，已经拉开了安全舱门。

The beginning of two people getting together is such a fragile, tender time.

两个人开始一段感情的时候是很易碎、脆弱的。

There's nothing like a big pail of Sleeping with Someone Else to put out the fires of a buddingrelationship.

没有什么比跟其他人到处睡更能扑灭崭露头角的恋情了。

I personally would never be able to overcome that.

我个人是永远无法克服这一点的。

So this isn't really a tough one for me.

因此这真的对我来说不困难。

Now, if I use my imagination, I could see that in the beginning, the lines are not that clearlydrawn, the rules aren't that firmly in place yet.

现在，如果我发挥想象，我可以预见开始的时候，路线没有那么明晰，规则没有那么坚定。

Maybe it is the last fling before the final commitment.

也许这是最后承诺前的最后一掷。

If it's early in the relationship, it can be hard to know if the guy is just getting something out ofhis system and it's a one-time thing, or if it's a guy who's just a big jerk.

恋爱初期，很难知道一个男人是否可以从系统中弄出什么来，而且这是一次性的，否则这个家伙就是个大混蛋。

That's the thing about dating—you're having intimate experiences with someone who, at theend of the day, you don't know very well.

这就是关于约会——你跟一个人有亲密体验，然而到了最后你并不太了解他。

You don't know his personal code of honor, you don't have his dating rap sheet.

你不知道他的个人荣誉代码，你没有他的约会说唱表。

You have to go by instinct, how much you care about him, and what he has to say for himselfabout it.

你必须跟着感觉走，你有多在乎他，他对自己有何看法。

All I can think is, how sad to be having that conversation in the beginning of things, wheneverything is supposed to be cozy and snugly and people are usually on their best behavior.

我能想到的是，事情开始之前进行这个对话有多难过，当所有的事情应该舒适温暖，人们的举止通常在最佳状态时。

If nothing else, I wish better for us all. I really do.

如果没有其它的事，我希望大家一切安好，真的。