异类之不一样的成功启示录 第68期:如何投成年人所好

The poorer parents, by contrast, are intimidated by authority. They react passively and stay in the background.

贫困家庭的父母则相反，他们常会向一些权威人士让步。他们总是显得服服帖帖，不能勇敢地站出来。

Lareau writes of one low- income parent:

拉里奥曾描述其中一位低收入阶层的父母：

At a parent-teacher conference, for example, Ms McAllister (who is a high school graduate) seems subdued.

例如，在一次家长会上，麦卡利斯特夫人(她的学历为高中)看起来就收敛了许多，

The gregarious and outgoing nature she displays at home is hidden in this setting.

一点都不像她在家时那样热情，那样喜欢交流，在这里，她的这些性格都掩盖起来了。

She sits hunched over in the chair and she keeps her jacket zipped up.

她弓着背坐在椅子上，始终扣紧着夹克的拉链，

She's very quiet. When the teacher reports that Harold had not been turing in his homework,

她显得很平静。当孩子的老师说到哈罗德没有上交家庭作业的时候，

Ms McAllister clearly is flabbergasted, but all she says is, "he did it at home."

麦卡利斯特夫人目瞪口呆，她非常惊讶，但是她说的只有这么一句：“他在家做了作业。”

She does not follow up with the teacher or attempt to intervene on Harold's behalf.

她即没有追问老师这到底是怎么回事，也没想过要多为哈罗德辩解什么。

In her view, it is up to the teachers to manage her son's education. That is their job, not hers.

在她眼里，教师完全能够教育好她的儿子，那是教师们的工作，而不是她的。

Lareau calls the middle-class parenting style "concerted cultivation."

拉里奥把中产阶层父母的教育方式称为“协同培养”，

It's an attempt to actively "foster and asses a child's talents, opinions and skills."

其目的是积极地“培养并评估一个孩子的才能、观念和技能”。

Poor parents tend to follow, by contrast, a strategy of "accomplishment of natural growth."

相反，穷人们遵循的是“自然成长”的策略，

The see their responsibility to care for their children but to let them grow and develop on their own.

他们虽然认为自己的责任是照看孩子，但是应该让孩子自由自在地发育成长。

Lareau stresses that one style isn't morally better than the other.

拉里奥强调，这两种培养方法不能说哪种更好。

In fact, the poorer children were, to her mind, often better behaved, less whiny, more creative in making use of their own time,

在拉里奥看来，穷人的孩子善于动手，不喜欢发牢骚，能够更有创意地支配自己的时间，

and had a well-developed sense of independence.

拥有极强的独立自主观念。

But in practical terms, concerted cultivation has enormous advantages.

但是在实践层面上，协同培养的优势更明显些。

The heavily scheduled middle-class child is exposed to a constantly shifting set of experiences.

有着紧密活动安排的中产阶层家庭的小孩总在不断变更着自己的经历，

She learns team work and how to cope in highly structured settings.

她能学会团队协作，她也知道怎样处理一些高层事件。

She is taught how to interact comfortably with adults, and to speak up when she needs to.

她知道怎样投成年人所好，在需要的时候，她知道该如何甜言蜜语地说服成年人。

In Lareau's words, the middle-class children learn a sense of "entitlement."

在拉里奥的眼里，中产阶层家庭的孩子开始领会到了“权利”的意义。

That word, of course, has negative connotations these days.

当然，这个词汇在当时有一定负面意义。

But Lareau means it in the best sense of the term:

但拉里奥认为这个词汇最能够说明这种现象：

"They acted as though they had a right to pursue their own inpidual preferences and to actively manage interactions institutional settings.

“他们的行为似乎表明他们拥有个人自由选择的权利，他们也拥有灵活应对各种制度安排的权利。