听美剧学英语-摩登家庭第二季 第6集：万圣节

I should go back inside.

我差不多该回家了

I have a dish to wash.

我还有碗要洗

Okay, but, hey...

好吧 但是

Jerry, if you need anything, all right?

杰瑞 你有什么需要就来找我

I'm your rock.

我是你坚强的后盾

You are not gonna believe this.

你一定会觉得难以置信

Judy just left Jerry.

朱蒂和杰瑞离婚了

Oh, yeah. She was so unhappy.

想想也会 她这些日子都过的不开心

How's he doing?

他怎么样了

He's not taking it as well as you are.

他可不像你这么轻松地就接受了

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I don't mean to be insensitive.

抱歉 亲爱的 不是我麻木不仁

I've just got a lot to get done.

只是我现在太忙了

I don't find you insensitive. I find you delightful.

我没有觉得你麻木不仁 我觉得你很讨喜

Do you find me delightful?

你觉得我讨喜吗

Oh, god, I just remembered!

噢 天呐 我差点忘了

Jerry's supposed to be our porch scarecrow.

杰瑞本应扮演我们走廊处的稻草人的

Can you ask him if he'll still do it?

你能请他继续来吗

He's kind of a mess right now.

他现在心情很糟糕

Yeah, but it might make him feel better be around people.

我知道 可有人陪着总归比较好

I'll try...

我去试试

But his whole world just turned upside down.

不过他的世界刚刚天翻地覆

Can you imagine?

你能想象有多糟糕吗

One minute, you're happily married,

前一分钟还夫妻恩爱

The next minute, you're completely by yourself.

下一分钟却劳燕分飞了

I don't need excuses. I need this lawsuit to go away.

你们别找借口了 我需要撤销这起诉讼

Now, who's responsible for the Keith deposition?

谁负责凯瑟的证言

uh, well, I was, "Shir."

是我 "先僧"

But, uh, in my defense, I "Wash" told

但我要为自己辩解一下 有人"告树"我

Take those stupid fangs out, Dale.

脱下你那愚蠢的獠牙 戴尔

For starters, it's daytime.

首先 现在是白天

Vampires sleep during the day...

吸血鬼白天都在睡大觉

which you may soon have plenty of time for.

如果你不幸被炒 就可以睡个够了

I'm sorry, but I was told that we didn't need Keith.

真抱歉 但是有人跟我说我们不需要凯瑟了

Who told you that?

谁告诉你的

I-I-I may have. I may have done that, sir.

是是是 我说的 老大

Well, that's disappointing.

真令人失望

But at least Mitchell's new here.

但是米奇尔初来乍到

Twilight, you're not.

暮光哥 你是老员工了

So get it done. Meeting adjourned.

赶紧去办 散会

Client's waiting for us in my office. We're already late.

客户还在我办公室等着呢 我们要迟到了

-Ohh. -Let's roll.

哦-赶紧走

-Ah, you've really been hitting the gym. -Yeah.

-啊 你健身效果不错啊 -是的

What the hell is that noise?

那到底是什么声音

Every time I tried to get out of that costume,

每次我想脱掉那戏服的时候

I got dragged into another meeting.

就有人拉我去开会

It was the worst Halloween ever.

简直是有史以来最糗的万圣节

Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever?

是吗 米奇尔 真的是最糗的吗

You had squeaky thighs.

你不过只是大腿咯吱作响

I lost a childhood.

我的童年却毁于一旦

Jay! This came for you.

杰 有你的包裹

Oh. Hi, honey. What is it?

哦 亲爱的 是什么呢

I called your secretary and told her

我打电话叫你的秘书

to order you some crackers

订了一些薄脆饼干

and those cheeses that you like -

还有你喜欢的奶酪

the tiny, little ones.

就是小小的那种

Thanks. Did you pick up my "Gargle" Costume, too?

谢谢 你取回我的"夜龙"戏服了嘛

-Are you making fun of me? -No.

你在取笑我吗-没有啊

First, Manny correcting me. And now you?

先是曼尼纠正我发音 现在又轮到你

If I have a problem, I want to know, Jay.

要是我有问题 杰 我愿意洗耳恭听

Honey, look, English is your second language.

听着 亲爱的 英语是你的第二语言

You're doing great.

你已经说得很好了

Yeah, you're not helping by protecting my feelings.

你这样估计我滴感受 不利于我滴进步

I want you to be honest with me.

我要你实话实说

Okay, well, I may have noticed some tiny, little mistakes

好吧 我察觉到了一些微不足道的错误

you might want to take a look at.

你可能要注意一下

-Like what? -Just little mispronunciations. Like, for example

比如说-就是一些发音错误 比如说

Last night, you said, "We live in a doggy-dog world."

昨晚你说 "我们住在狗狗的世界里"

-So? -Well, it's "Dog-eat-dog world."

-怎么了 -实际上应该是"狗咬狗的世界"

Yeah, but...

是啊 但是

that doesn't make any sense.

这根本说不通啊

Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other?

谁想生活在一个狗互吃的世界啊

A doggy-dog world is a beautiful world

狗狗的世界是漂亮滴世界

full of little puppies!

狗狗到处都是

What else do I say wrong?

我还说错什么了

Well, it's not "Blessings in the skies."

还有 不是"天上来的祝福"

It's "Blessings in disguise."

而是"因祸得福"

What else?

还有呢

Carpal tunnel syndrome

是"腕管综合症"

is not "Carpool tunnel syndrome."

不是"拼车管综合症"

And what else?

还有呢

It's not "Volumptuous."

型感的也不对

Okay, enough. I know that I have an accent.

好了对了 我知道我口音很重

But people understand me just fine!

但是大家都能听懂

What the hell is this?

这到底是啥

I told you, Jay, I called your secretary

我跟你说了 杰 我打电话给你的秘书

and told her to order you a box of baby cheeses.

叫她给你订一盒小奶酪

歌洛莉亚把cheeses(奶酪)读成了Jesus(耶稣)

Oh, so now that is my fault too.

哦 这次又是我滴错了

Oh, yeah, can you tell Claire

好吧 能否转达克莱尔

that I'm not really up for being the scarecrow?

我不大想来扮演稻草人

Judy and I used to love Halloween.

我和朱蒂以前很爱万圣节

It's her favorite holiday.

这是她最喜欢的节日

Huh.-You know?

啊哈-你懂吧

Gosh, I hate to think of you sitting in there alone,

天啊 想到你一个人坐在家里胡思乱想

running through all this in your head.

我就觉得于心不忍

What could you have done differently?

你表现得再好也于事无补啊

What could you have done differently?

你表现得再好也于事无补啊

It's actually a little hard for me to talk about.

我真的觉得难以启齿

Don't push me away. I'm not Judy.

别对我紧闭心扉嘛 人家又不是朱蒂

I could've been more spontaneous.

我要是再随意自然一些就好了

I-I-I could've tried to have been more fun and sexy

我要是能更加幽默性感就好了

like I was in the old days.

就像过去一样

Spontaneous and sexy. I got it. Yep.

随意自然 性感诱惑 我懂了 懂了

And remember, I'm here for you, okay?

记住了 有事随时找我 好吗

Ohh! Son of a...

哦哦哦 我擦

What the hell is that?!

你穿的是啥

What? You told me to put on an old costume.

怎么了 你叫我穿以前的戏服

Not from when you were 8.

你也不能穿8岁那套啊

Are you trying to get candy or Japanese businessmen?

你是想别人给你糖果 还是要吸引日本怪叔叔

Change it. Go.

换了 快去

Jerry is a no-go on the crow.

杰瑞不能扮演稻草人了

You've been over there this whole time?

你在他那儿待了这么久吗

Yeah, he was venting. I couldn't break free.

对啊 他一直倾诉 我不忍心丢下他一个人

God...

老天

You are sexy.

你真是秀色可餐

Honey...

亲爱的

Not so fast. I don't think we're done here, my darling.

别啊 还没完呢 亲爱的

It's okay. I need to get down.

别闹了 我要下来

Oh, we can get down. We can get way down.

噢 要下面吗 我可以一直往下哦

Oh, god!

天啊

Phil!

菲尔

No! No, no, no, no, no! No!

别 不要 不要 不要

Okay.

好吧

Oh, no.

不会吧

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay.

别别别别 好吧

Okay. Focus, Mitchell. Focus. Focus.

好吧 淡定 米奇尔 淡定淡定

Hello?

喂

I'm trapped in a men's room,

我困在男厕所了

And all I have on is the spider-man suit.

身上唯一的衣服就是蜘蛛侠装了

Hot. Who is this?

真够火辣的 请问你是哪位

Somebody took my shirt, and all the rest

有人把我衬衣拿走了 我剩下的衣服

of my clothes are all "Toilety."

都浸在坐便池里了

I'm screwed.

我完蛋了

Why don't you just tell Charlie the truth?

你干嘛不跟查理实话实说呢

I can't. I already messed up once today.

我不能 我今天已经搞砸一次了

And I can't risk it.

我可不能冒这个险

I-I have another suit in my trunk,

我后备箱里还有一套西装

But I can't get to the car without going through the office.

但我要到达停车位 就必须穿过办公室

You know what's ironic?

你知道最讽刺的是什么吗

Who could really help you right now

现在真正能帮你的

is spider-man.

就是蜘蛛侠了

He's here.

蜘蛛侠来也!

Okay. Okay. Okay.

好了 好了 好了

No.

不

No, no, no, no, no, no.

别叫 别叫 别叫 别叫

No, no, no.

别叫 别叫 别叫

Um, o-okay. Okay.

好吧 好吧

Behold, my creation.

看啊 我的子民

Monster, do my bidding!

怪物 听我指挥

I do as you command, master.

谨遵命令 主人

Okay. Mom.

​

好了 老妈

You cannot have a problem with this.

千万别再不满意这件了

I'm mother Teresa.

我是特雷莎修女

Are you kidding me?

你开什么玩笑

What? I'm her back when she was hot.

怎么了 我是她热辣版的复活造型

I will pay you $1 to go put on more clothes.

你要再多穿点的话 我会给你1美元

Bet it's the first time you ever heard that one.

此等待遇可是头一次哦

Okay. You know what? Here. Here we go.

好吧 知道吗 这儿 披上这个

Let's just cover you up.

来帮你遮上点

All right, now, I just want to run through this,

好了 我想赶紧彩排一下

really quick with everybody.

大家都快一点

Um, first, it's "Trick or treat?"

首先是 不给糖就捣蛋

And then, Phil...

然后 菲尔

"Come in if you dare."-Right,and then dad does

有种就进来-没错 然后老爸就

the thunder and the lightning and the fog.

弄出电闪雷鸣的效果 还要放雾

Usher the children in past Alex in her cage.

指导孩子们进来 经过装着艾丽克斯的笼子

- I'm in a cage? - Yes!

我被关在笼子里吗-是的

You're in a house of horrors being held against your will.

你被强行关押在一个鬼屋里

Yeah,I know, so why do we need the cage?

我知道 但要笼子干嘛

And then Gloria pops up

接着歌洛莉亚突然出现

as the evil village bruja, and she says,

就像乡村恶巫婆一样 然后她说

Welcome to your nightmare.

欢迎来到你的噩梦之境

324

:13:5,71 --> :13:5,931

Ah ha ha ha ha!

哈哈哈哈

and the Cam and Haley do their thing.

然后小卡和海莉负责他们的部分

Kids get their candy. They are ushered out.

小孩负责发糖 领他们出去

They think it's all over, but it's not!

他们以后到此为止了 其实还没有

Because out on the porch,

因为在外面的走廊上

the scarecrow pops to life.

稻草人会突然跳出来

Wow! For one final "Aah!"

然后就听到他们最后的一声惨叫

And that's - Mitchell, you're the srecrow!

米奇尔 你扮演稻草人

Oh, no, no.

不要 不要

I was in a costume all day. It was awful.

我穿了一天的戏服 好想死啊

It's nothing compared to when I was

这跟我当年根本没法比

- You don't own bad halloweens. - Don't I?

你没经历过糟糕的万圣节-我没有

We get it, Cam. Hard day.

我们懂的 小卡 伤心往事

Mitchell, please. The costume's in the kitchen.

米奇尔 拜托了 戏服就在厨房里

Come on.

快点来嘛

All right, Claire, Claire.

好了 克莱尔 克莱尔

Before you go, I just want you to know...

在你离开我之前 我只想让你知道

Okay. The wig. That, that's...

好的 我的假发 快掉了

I love you more...

我爱你胜过

That's nice. Thanks, honey.

嘴真甜 谢谢你 亲爱的

You're my best friend!

你是我最好的朋友

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

大家好啊-你来啦

Wow. God, you guys look great.

天啊 你们俩看起来好极了

Thank you, Phil. I try my best.

谢谢你 菲尔 我尽力了

You look very dead-like.

你看起来非常像死人

Gloria, stop it. I said I was sorry.

歌洛莉亚 别说了 我说过对不起了

Oh, no, no, Jay.

不不 杰

For now on, I only speak in proper american,

从现在起 我只说标准美式英语

so I don't embarrass you.

这样我就不会使你丢人了

Did she just get back from the dentist?

她刚看完牙回来吗

She's mad at me because I told her

她在跟我发脾气 因为我跟她说

sometimes people can't understand her.

有时候别人听不懂她在说什么

Make it right, Jay.

赶紧去弥补一下吧 杰

We're all just hanging by a thread.

咱俩现在都岌岌可危了

Hey! Dad! Oh, you look great!

老爸 你看起来棒极了

Oh, good. Okay, Gloria's in position.

不错 好了 歌洛莉亚已经就位了

Hi, Gloria. There you go.

你好 歌洛莉亚 就是这样

Right back here.

你就呆这儿

Claire, I don't know that I'm - I'm feeling up to this.

克莱尔 我不知道自己能否胜任这活

Why, Cam? Why?

为什么 小卡 为什么呢

What happened that is so awful

到底发生了什么事

you simultaneously can't speak of it

糟糕到你都不敢告诉我们

and yet can't stop talking about it?

同时却又不住地提起呢

I can't. It's too emotional.

说不出口 太伤感了

Okay. Some other time.

好吧 那下次吧

- I was 10. - Oh, god.

我那时十岁-天啊

Dressed as Quasimodo on a front porch

跟我的好朋友迪米·瑞格纳一起

with my best friend, Timmy Reglar, a ghostbuster.

他扮捉鬼人 我扮敲钟人[巴黎圣母院]

There was a bucket of candy with a sign.

门廊上有一篮糖果 里面还有一张纸条

- It said "Take one." - One.

-上面写着"拿一颗" -一颗

Timmy took the entire bucket and put it in his bag.

迪米把整篮糖都拿走放到了包里

Timmy didn't play by the rules.

迪米不守规矩

It's what I liked and feared about him.

这正是我对他又爱又怕的地方

Then the bag broke as a crowd of kids

然后包破了 正好一群小孩走过来

rounded the corner, saw the pile of candy.

看到了地上掉的一堆糖

Timmy said, "Cam did it!"

迪米说 是小卡拿的

- Trick or treat? - Oh, good.

不给糖就捣蛋-太好了

Aren't you glad yo got that out?

讲出来舒服多了吧

Okay, everybody, our first victims!

好了 大伙 这是我们第一批受害者

This is not a rehearsal. You ready? You ready?

这可不是彩排咯 准备好了吗

- Yes. Yes. - Okay.

-好了 好了 -那就好

Come in...if you dare.

有种的话就进来吧

Dad.

爸

Huh? Oh. L-let me see.

等一下

Thank you for joining us on our sp-

谢谢你们来参加

No, no, no. First the thunder and the lightning!

不 不 先要有雷鸣闪电

Yeah, right. I got it.

好的 就来

Perfect.

要命了

Thank you for joining us...

谢谢你们

on our special night.

参与我们的特别之夜

Other children haven't fared so well.

其他小孩的下场可不怎么样

Welcome to your nightmare. Ha ha ha ha!

欢迎来到你们的噩梦

What the hell is that?

那是怎么回事

Can, uh -- can we just get our candy?

能不能 直接把糖给我们

OK, but beware of the fog,

好的 但是小心有雾

for you may not be able to see...

因为你们可能看不清前

ahead.

头

Boop. Timmy started running.

然后迪米就开始跑

I wanted to run too,

我也想跑的

but my hunch got stuck on a rose bush

可是我的肥肉被玫瑰花丛缠住了

and that's when I fell.

所以我就摔倒了

I fell hard.

狠狠地摔了一跤

I can see his feet.

我看得到他的脚

Okay. Here, children, have some candy.

好吧 给 孩子们 拿点糖

Happy Halloween.

万圣节快乐

Ok. That was bad. That was a bad start.

好吧 刚才真烂 开局不利

Er... First of all, dad, thunder, lightening, fog cue.

首先 爸 雷鸣闪电 然后放雾

And we skip Alex all together.

然后我们一起转向艾丽克斯

And...Gloria, since when do you speak English?

歌洛莉亚 你什么时候开始说英语了

Oh, so now you have a problem with the way I speak?

你现在也开始不爽我的口音了

Like father like daughter. In this dog-eat-dog family.

有其父必有其女 真是个狗咬狗的家庭

Trick or treat?

不给糖就捣乱

Okay. Places, places.

好了 各就各位 各就各位

Good, Mitchell's gone.

很好 米奇尔也不见了

Honey, I love you so much!

亲爱的 我好爱你

Not now, not now.

不是时候 不是时候

Come in...if you dare.

有种的话就进来吧

- Dad. Dad. - What? Oh, right, right.

-爸 爸 -什么 对了 对了

- Phil, it's you. - No, dad, fog, fog.

菲尔到你了-不对 爸 雾

Thank you for joining us...

感谢你们来参加

on our special night.

我们的特别之夜

Other children haven't fared so well.

其他小孩的下场可不怎么样

Oh, help me, help me.

救救我 救救我

Welcome to your nightmare. Ha ha ha ha.

欢迎来到你们的噩梦

Now your treats are over here

你们的糖在这里

but with all the fog

但是雾这么大

you may not be able to see

你们可能看不清前

ahead.

头

And everyone was screaming

然后大家都在喊

That's him! Get Quasimodo!

就是他 抓住敲钟人

And then the townspeople started chasing me!

于是镇里人就开始追我

And that's when I wet my pants!

然后我就尿裤子了

I wet my pants! I wet my pants.

我尿裤子了 我尿裤子了

This place is weird. Let's go.

这地方好诡异 我们走

Mother of god.

圣母玛利亚

Ohh! Son of a...

混账东西

What is wrong with everyone?!

你们到底是怎么回事

Cam, "townspeople"? Really?

小卡 "镇里人" 你在说什么

I lived on a farm. They lived in town.

我住在农场 他们住在镇里

They were the townspeople.

他们就是镇里人

And, dad! Dad!

还有爸 爸

It goes -- lightning, thunder, fog cue!

应该是 闪电 雷鸣 放雾

This whole thing is a colossal fog cue.

这整件事就够雾蒙蒙的了

Claire just doesn't understand, Cam.

克莱尔不会明白的 小卡

Maybe she's never been picked on for being different.

也许她从来没有因与众不同而被欺负

When, Gloria?

你有吗 歌洛莉亚

When have you ever been picked on

你什么时候因为

for "being different"?

与众不同而被欺负过

Ask the "Gargle."

问问"夜龙"就知道了

What did she say?

​

她在说什么

Gloria!

歌洛莉亚

I think she went insane.

我觉得她疯了

She's not insane. She's my mother.

她没疯 她是我妈

I'm your mother now!

我现在才是你妈

Gloria...

歌洛莉亚

I want to tell you a story...

我想给你讲个故事

about a guy eating in a diner, alone.

一个男人独自在餐厅吃饭

Behind him he hears a woman talking.

他听到身后有一个女人在讲话

He doesn't turn around, 5 minutes, 1 minutes.

他一直没有转过身来 五分钟过了 十分钟过了

Just listening to the woman,

他只是静静地聆听着那位女士

the life in her voice.

听她声音中的生命力

And before he even sees her

他还未与她谋面

He realizes he's fallen in love.

就爱她爱得无法自拔

Now, I'll give you a guess who that guy is.

现在 我想让你猜猜那个男人是谁

Aw, my dad was --

我爸好

Oh, my god!

我的天啊

You know what? I'm just gonna go.

你知道吗 我打算现在就走了

No. Come on, Cam.

别啊 小卡 别这样

Uh, if uncle Cam is leaving,

要是小卡舅夫要走

I'm just gonna go upstairs and study.

那我也要回楼上读书去了

Yeah, I have a party to go to, so...

我还要去赶个派对 所以

Ohh! She punched me in the face!

她往我脸上挥了一拳

He came out of nowhere, and he scared

他不知从哪里突然冒出来

the baby "cheeses" out of me!

把老娘吓的魂都没了

Hey, you're talking normal again.

你开始像平常一样的说话了

Oh, I loved the story about the old man.

我好爱那个老男人的故事

Well, nobody said "old".

我可没说"老"这个字

- Oh, Cam, can we please just go? - Yes.

-小卡 我们可以走了吗 -可以

Yeah, go, please. I don't care.

好 求你们了 都走吧 我才不在乎呢

Oh, Claire.

克莱尔

No, no.

没事 没事

I'm done. I'm done.

都完了 到此为止吧

I'm not done. So not done. Look, here's the thing.

还没 我压根就还没说完呢 你们自己想想

We - we have reworks at Christmas now

我们 我们现在圣诞节放烟火

because that's what they do in Colombia, and I don't mind.

因为那是哥伦比亚人的过节方式 我能接受

Thanksgiving - that used to be me roasting a turkey,

感恩节 以前都是由我来给大家烤火鸡

until the gays took it over

直到同性恋夫夫把这活拿走了

with whatever new turkey-cooking craze it is

然后用按他们在美食频道看的最新潮的

that you saw on the Food Network.

火鸡料理方法来料理

And, I'm fine with that too.

我也一样没意见

All I ask - all I ask is that you leave me Halloween.

我只求 我只求你们能把万圣节留给我

Yeah, Halloween.

没错 万圣节

I realize it is a crazy-ass holiday

我知道这是个疯狂的节日

for a grown woman to care about this much.

疯狂到可以让一个中年熟女如此在乎

But it is my crazy-ass holiday.

但那就是属于我的疯狂节日

Mine.

我的

That's a lot of complaining from somebody

她还真是一肚子怨气啊

who asked for thirds of our tandoori turkey last year.

去年我们做的火鸡 她要了三次呢

Claire.

克莱尔

No! No! Not ready to talk!

不想 不想 我现在不想说话

No.

不想

Listen...

你听我说

I know I haven't been much help today.

我知道我今天没怎么帮到忙

That - that whole Jerry and Judy thing,

但那 那杰瑞跟朱蒂的事情

it really hit me hard.

真的让我心不在焉

Is that why you've been acting like such a nut all day?

你一整天疯疯癫癫的就是为这破事吗

- You know, what if someday that's us? - Honey!

万一有天那发生在我们身上怎么办-宝贝

Okay, you - you might not want to hear this right now

好吧 你 你现在可能不会想听到这个

after the meltdown I just had in there, but...

因为我刚刚在里面大发了脾气 但是

you're kind of stuck with me.

你休想逃出我的手掌心

You promise?

你保证吗

I do.

我愿意

Oh. That's great.

真好

Trick or treat?

不给糖 就捣蛋

We should just put out a bowl of candy

我们应该就放一大碗的糖果

and have a cocktail, right?

然后一起喝杯鸡尾酒 对吧

Yeah.-Yeah.

对的-好吧

Come in if you dare.

有种的话就进来吧

thank you for joining us on our special night.

谢谢你们来参加我们的特别之夜

Other children haven't fared so well.

其他小孩的下场可不怎么样

-Help me! Help me! -She's doing it.

-救救我 救救我 -她们真的在演

- Welcome to your nightmare, muchachos! - No!no!

-欢迎来到你们的恶梦 孩子们 -不要 不要

But with all this fog, it might be hard to see "ahead."

但是雾这么大 你们可能看不清前 头

-Yeah! -Yeah!

棒啊-好啊

We're back in the game! Let's go!

我们回来参与了 走吧

I love it! I love it!

我爱死了 我爱死这个了

Whoa! That was for you.

特别为你弄的

-That was for you. I just did it for you. -No, it wasn't.

-特别为你触发的 我为了你弄的 -你才不是呢

Oh, and one time she says don't joke

有一次她说 别开玩笑

or I'll have to give you the "Hindenburg maneuver".

别逼老娘对你不仁不"腻"

Oh, one time she caught me staring off.

有一次 她发现我在放空

And she goes, "Cam, what's wrong?

她就说 小卡 怎么了

You look like a deer in head lice!".

你看起来像有头虱的鹿[鹿灯综合症]

[临床表现为焦虑 恐惧 睁大眼睛 反应迟钝]

In the service, I had a job, briefly,

当兵那会 我有个工作 基本上就是

handling explosives.

处理炸药

Which sounds dangerous, but it's not.

听起来很危险 其实不然

You store them at the right temperature,

你把它们存放在适宜的温度之下

you have no problems...

就不会有任何危险

If you tell her she doesn't have a choice,

要是你告诉她 她别无选择

She'll say, "don't you give me an 'old tomato.'"

她会说 别给我个老番茄[最后通牒ultimatum]

- Or when she says - Okay! Enough!

或者当她说-好了 够了

You try speaking in another language!

你们试试说外语

Everybody out of my house!

所有人滚出我家

...until you do.

直到忽然爆发