卡卡英语第117期:真正的倾听

所属教程:卡卡早餐英语

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2018年10月29日

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今天分享的是一篇英语美文——真正的倾听。

True listening, total concentration on the other, is always a manifestation of love. An essential part of true listening is the discipline of bracketing, the temporary giving up or setting aside of one's own prejudices, frames of reference and desires so as to experience as far as possible the speaker's world from the inside, stepping inside his or her shoes. This unification of speaker and listener is actually an extension and enlargement of ourself, and new knowledge is always gained from this. Moreover, since true listening involves bracketing, a setting aside of the self, it also temporarily involves a total acceptance of the other. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker will feel less and less vulnerable and more and more inclined to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. As this happens, speaker and listener begin to appreciate each other more and more, and the duet dance of love is again begun. The energy required for the discipline of bracketing and the focusing of total attention is so great that it can be accomplished only by love, by the will to extend oneself for mutual growth. Most of the time we lack this energy. Even though we may feel in our business dealings or social relationships that we are listening very hard, what we are usually doing is listening selectively, with a preset agenda in mind, wondering as we listen how we can achieve certain desired results and get the conversation over with as quickly as possible or redirected in ways more satisfactory to us.

真正的倾听，意味着把注意力放在他人身上，它是爱的具体表现形式。此时，倾听者能够暂时把个人想法和欲望放在一旁，尽可能地体会说话者的感受。说话者和倾听者都能感受到爱的力量，进而都能实现自我完善。倾听者把注意力放在对方的话语上，会使说话者心有灵犀，更为坦诚，更愿把心灵全部敞开，而不是有所隐藏。这能增进双方的理解和信任，心心相印，共同跳起爱的“双人芭蕾舞”。这是耗费精力的过程，而且须以爱为出发点。基于共同成长、自我完善的意愿，才能够达到倾听的目的。但是，我们通常缺少倾听的能力。不管是在商务活动还是在社交生活中，长时间倾听他人讲话，是叫人难受的事。我们只是有选择地倾听，头脑中早已有优先项目安排，所以，我们总是一边倾听，一边想着怎样尽快达到目的，怎样使谈话尽早结束。我们也常常转移话题，灵活地把谈话主旨加以调整，以便让自己感到满意。

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